Nathan Lawrenson's Twitter

[flyawaystray]

He'll be a wreck when Trish is gone, too. I can see him going off the rails.

[lilwriter85]

He'll be a wreck when Trish is gone, too. I can see him going off the rails.

I also see that happening too. I hate to say it. I do hope that friends and relatives are preparing themselves to help him when that happens.

[lilwriter85]

Tricia is having a procedure done.

NathanLawrenson ‏@NathanLawrenson

...only receiving 14% blood flow because of scar tissue in the left pulmonary artery.

NathanLawrenson ‏@NathanLawrenson

4.5 hours after arriving at the hospital, still waiting to go back for her procedure...hasn't had anything to eat or drink since last night.

NathanLawrenson ‏@NathanLawrenson

Finally rolling her back. If they can't do anything to help, will be about 30 minutes, if they can, will be a few hours.

[copyed]

He just tweeted that the doctors didn't do anything during the procedure. He calls it a disappointment. I feel as though the whole world is a disappointment to him. When does he stop complaining that things (his wife's condition, the culture at large) aren't going the way he thinks they should and accept that maybe everything is a part of his god's plan? Food for thought, yo.

[flyawaystray]

NathanLawrenson â€@NathanLawrenson

Dr didn't see any pressure difference between lungs so they didn't do anything. Another disappointment.

Well what does he expect? Modern medicine can only do so much. Once again, his entitlement shows.

[lilwriter85]

Nate's entitled attitude is showing again. He should at least be grateful that doctors have been treating Tricia and trying to help her. I agree flyawaystray, modern medicine can only do so much and Nate needs to accept that fact, but he won't.

[Pearl]

I think Nate is learning that theory and reality don't always connect.

In theory, Nate married Tricia knowing that she would most likely die in her thirties - he seemed understanding and accepting of that fact. Now that reality is coming up, that Tricia will most likely die soon, he can't accept it. He wants a traditional family, preferably with Tricia.

Also, he seems to look at the first lung transplant and the birth of Gwen as a miracle and also as affirmation that Tricia will live a normal life - he doesn't seem thankful for the extra time - only unhappy that it wasn't extended. He wants another miracle, and he won't let go of Duke until he gets it. I suppose God could do a miracle, although I think it is unlikely.

Except, this time he will lose - and not only will he lose, if he keeps going on in this manner - Tricia will pass away in a hospital hoping for something that isn't going to happen.

Sometimes, loved ones have to let go of the ill party so that the person who is ill can go in peace. How can Tricia come to terms with what is happening with Nate going crazy at the fact that she is so sick? It sucks - it sucks big time - but it's how I feel (based on the past with other loved ones).

He's so filled with anger and hate - except that he can't be REALLY angry and hateful of God - so, his anger and hatred is to everyone who doesn't agree with him. Hopefully, he'll realize that the root of his anger and hate is at the fact that he can't be in control of what happens in his family. Something he never had, something that he had a heads up on before he married Tricia.

[Mom23Girls]

Nate just posted a pic of Tricia in a wheelchair outside the hospital and it said "Ready to go home." He must be taking her home as there isn't anything else they can do for her. She looks so sad and though I don't agree with Nate much of the time my heart breaks for that little girl and a mom who knows she won't watch her little girl grow up. :(

[flyawaystray]

I think almost everyone shares that sentiment. What Trish is going through is horrible, and it's even worse for Gwen because she won't have a mom. But the thing is, they wanted this baby. The only one completely innocent in this situation is Gwen.

[Emme]

Don't forget teh gayz. They are ebil!!!

I wonder if there will be a correlation between his bitterness/hatred, and Trish's health.

Absolutely. He needs to vent his anger. I pity him.

[already hungover]

I think Nate is learning that theory and reality don't always connect.

In theory, Nate married Tricia knowing that she would most likely die in her thirties - he seemed understanding and accepting of that fact. Now that reality is coming up, that Tricia will most likely die soon, he can't accept it. He wants a traditional family, preferably with Tricia.

Also, he seems to look at the first lung transplant and the birth of Gwen as a miracle and also as affirmation that Tricia will live a normal life - he doesn't seem thankful for the extra time - only unhappy that it wasn't extended. He wants another miracle, and he won't let go of Duke until he gets it. I suppose God could do a miracle, although I think it is unlikely.

Except, this time he will lose - and not only will he lose, if he keeps going on in this manner - Tricia will pass away in a hospital hoping for something that isn't going to happen.

Sometimes, loved ones have to let go of the ill party so that the person who is ill can go in peace. How can Tricia come to terms with what is happening with Nate going crazy at the fact that she is so sick? It sucks - it sucks big time - but it's how I feel (based on the past with other loved ones).

He's so filled with anger and hate - except that he can't be REALLY angry and hateful of God - so, his anger and hatred is to everyone who doesn't agree with him. Hopefully, he'll realize that the root of his anger and hate is at the fact that he can't be in control of what happens in his family. Something he never had, something that he had a heads up on before he married Tricia.

I do not like Nate. However, I think that almost all of us have been in a position where things are so frustrating and beyond our control that we take out our anger on whatever or whomever is around. It's a nonsensical thing to do, but it happens. I think that's what's going on here: Nate knows he can't "fix" Tricia and can't prevent her from dying. He's pissed, but there's nothing he can do about it, so he spews unrelated hateful things on Twitter.

I do sort of feel bad for him, since I think he's in denial over what is happening to Tricia and will be hit hard when she dies. I also think he's got to be under a massive amount of stress, and that sucks too.

But really, he should shut the fuck up on Twitter. Maybe speak to a counselor? A trusted friend?

[flyawaystray]

Of course we all get angry and have situations where we're overwhelmed and frustrated. The difference is that I don't vent publicly on Twitter, nor would I badmouth the hospital that was trying to save my life. Obviously the procedure didn't work the way Nate wanted, but I am one hundred percent positive that the doctors did everything they could. There's just some things you can't fix and clearly, Nate doesn't care. The ONLY thing that matters to him is Trish getting better. He should focus on her mental and emotional well being. He should be doing everything he can to make her happy and comfortable.

Instead, he keeps dragging her to the hospital even though it's quite obvious there's nothing that can be done about Trish's health anymore. And I don't think Trish is mentally all there. It's possible she is, but I remember Eva being really out of it before she died so it's probably the same for Trish.

[lilwriter85]

I do not like Nate. However, I think that almost all of us have been in a position where things are so frustrating and beyond our control that we take out our anger on whatever or whomever is around. It's a nonsensical thing to do, but it happens. I think that's what's going on here: Nate knows he can't "fix" Tricia and can't prevent her from dying. He's pissed, but there's nothing he can do about it, so he spews unrelated hateful things on Twitter.

I do sort of feel bad for him, since I think he's in denial over what is happening to Tricia and will be hit hard when she dies. I also think he's got to be under a massive amount of stress, and that sucks too.

But really, he should shut the fuck up on Twitter. Maybe speak to a counselor? A trusted friend?

I think Nate needs a counselor. I've said this before, but i think his friends and relatives coddle him a bit and I think he needs to talk to someone who will help him deal with anger, but not completely coddle him.

[lilwriter85]

Nate is a bit a rude to one of his twitter followers from Canada who is attending the Seeds Conference later this week in Oklahoma. The Seeds Conference is a well known conference for Christian pastors and creative arts pastors. I know someone who went to it last year. It is similar to the Passion conference. Nate's Canadian follower seems to be excited and Nate has to piss on the guy's parade and calls Oklahoma an armpit.

Chris Vacher ‏@chrisfromcanada

"I've never been to Oklahoma." Things I won't be able to say after Wednesday. #seedsconf

NathanLawrenson NathanLawrenson ‏@NathanLawrenson

@chrisfromcanada bro, armpit of America. Get in, get out and forget you we're ever there.

ETA: I can't stand when people are rude to others about places they are visiting. Also as a worship pastor Nate shouldn't be cutting down his friend for going to a Christian conference. So what if it is in Oklahoma. There is a good and bad in each state.

[lilwriter85]

Nate's most recent tweet is to a CNN link about a story in which couple offered their surrogate money to abort the child. I'm still reading the story and so far it is hard for me to form an opinion. I can understand if couples feel they can't handle having a child with special needs. If other couples feel they can, they have the choice to not abort.

@NathanLawrenson

In a society that devalues an "imperfect" life, these types of stories will continue to become more common. http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/04/health/su ... index.html …

http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/04/health/su ... index.html

[flyawaystray]

Well it doesn't matter what Nate thinks, whether he likes it or not, abortion is legal. I personally would not abort a child unless the pregnancy were going to endanger my life, or my child would be born with a terminal disease like Tay Sachs, Trisomy 18, and so on.

However, that doesn't mean I am completely against it. If other women want them, then that's their choice. And besides, banning it would just lead to back-alley abortions, which aren't really safe.

Look what getting pregnant did for Trish and Gwen. He's a bit of a hypocrite, if that makes sense.

[mockingbird]

I have been following this thread and a little bit of the previous one - if someone could help me out though, was she listed again this past year and then removed? Do we know why?

Anyway, decided to go check out his instagram after the mention of his latest picture - she does look like she is trying to hold back tears. :(

[already hungover]

I have been following this thread and a little bit of the previous one - if someone could help me out though, was she listed again this past year and then removed? Do we know why?

Anyway, decided to go check out his instagram after the mention of his latest picture - she does look like she is trying to hold back tears. :(

Don't quote me on this, but I think she was listed and then removed last year. I don't recall whether Nate ever shared why. He tweets way too damn much for me to go find it.

It was a sad photo. I hope to god that the "home" he refers to in the caption is their actual home, with their kids, instead of an Extended Stay. I just want so badly for Tricia to have time with her family.

[Emme]

Nate's most recent tweet is to a CNN link about a story in which couple offered their surrogate money to abort the child. I'm still reading the story and so far it is hard for me to form an opinion. I can understand if couples feel they can't handle having a child with special needs. If other couples feel they can, they have the choice to not abort.

http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/04/health/su ... index.html

Interesting blog post on this from a former surrogate

thesmartness.com/smartone/2013/03/the-10k-surrogate-abortion-scandal-and-the-angles-missed-by-the-news.html

Broke the link, but she's good people/liberal (I think?) so she wouldn't care.

[Emme]

Why the hell did Nate post that pic of Tricia going home? She looks so sad and tired. The previous pic with her and Gweneth is the same, she just looks exhausted. I say take the pictures, you want photos of your wife and kid obviously, but don't post them on the internet! I wonder if he ever checks with Tricia before he does?

[chaotic life]

She is going to be sad. What Tricia is going through is NOT fun.

I understand Nate's desperation. In Micah's final months, I was constantly having to balance how hard did I fight versus when did I admit defeat and let death come naturally. I landed on the side that I would fight like HELL to keep him from suffering but I would do no more to prolong his life.

The BIG dilemma that we faced was when he began to drown. I swore every day of his life I would NEVER let him drown. It's the most horrifying thing a CFer can face and it's pure torture. If Tricia is losing blood flow to her lungs, the she is suffocating but she might not be fully drowning yet. The procedure the doctors attempted is to try and decrease the discomfort she is having, which obviously failed.

When Micah began to drown, I nearly took him to the hospital. I DID put him on high dose steriods. I would have taken my own eye out if it could have stopped that drowning. Except.....Micah asked us to not take him to the hospital again, and that one final, scared little request snapped me back into focus. The steriods helped him breath but they sent his blood sugars through the roof and we had to stop them. The only thing we had left to stop the pain was morphine, a very dangerous and fatal drug to use for a CFer. I knew once we started the morphine, it was over. I knew morphine would cause a bowel obstruction so fast heads would spin, and would be directly toxic to his already dying liver. Most CFers don't have the liver issue, but the bowel obstructions are a common complication for CFers using morphine.

If Nate cannot conceded this is over, then he has not tapped into Palliative Care and Hospice for Tricia. It is IMPOSSIBLE to manage what Tricia is suffering right now without the skill of Palliative Care doctors and Hospice. Palliative measures by *her* doctors is NOT sufficient to keep her comfortable and retain her dignity. If she is not under specialized Palliative Care doctors, then she is miserable.

It was the Palliative Care doctor who was able to call me when the bowel obstruction hit and walk me through the signs of a catastrophic gastric event. I had watched Micah's food and water very carefully. I gave him every single bit of what he wanted, when he wanted it. However, as the obstruction set in, I pulled back at exactly the pace necessary to keep pace with his own body so he felt no deprevation but experienced no catastrophic event. If he had experienced one, we would have headed for the hospital one last time specifically for palliative sedation, because you cannot give enough morphine to overcome the pain of that event.

I had Pediactric Palliative Care specialists, the director of his CF center, a full Hospice team AND my own medical training to guide us.

Without those measures, Nate will NOT provide Tricia what she needs now. She's got 14% blood flow to her lungs now. She is at the very, very end of her life. I desperately pray that Nate has her at home with the appropriate specialists and her children around her now.

[Emme]

She is going to be sad. What Tricia is going through is NOT fun.

If Nate cannot conceded this is over, then he has not tapped into Palliative Care and Hospice for Tricia. It is IMPOSSIBLE to manage what Tricia is suffering right now without the skill of Palliative Care doctors and Hospice. Palliative measures by *her* doctors is NOT sufficient to keep her comfortable and retain her dignity. If she is not under specialized Palliative Care doctors, then she is miserable.

It was the Palliative Care doctor who was able to call me when the bowel obstruction hit and walk me through the signs of a catastrophic gastric event. I had watched Micah's food and water very carefully. I gave him every single bit of what he wanted, when he wanted it. However, as the obstruction set in, I pulled back at exactly the pace necessary to keep pace with his own body so he felt no deprevation but experienced no catastrophic event. If he had experienced one, we would have headed for the hospital one last time specifically for palliative sedation, because you cannot give enough morphine to overcome the pain of that event.

I had Pediactric Palliative Care specialists, the director of his CF center, a full Hospice team AND my own medical training to guide us.

Without those measures, Nate will NOT provide Tricia what she needs now. She's got 14% blood flow to her lungs now. She is at the very, very end of her life. I desperately pray that Nate has her at home with the appropriate specialists and her children around her now.

Cl, yet again you write an eloquent and heartbreaking post. I hope for Tricia's sake, Nate is getting her the help she needs. She deserves a person as devoted and brilliant as you managing her care. I'm just not sure Nate can put aside his own feelings of anger and grief to help her. I very much hope I am wrong.

[treemom]

All I can say is I am sad. Sad for Nate and for Tricia and for their families and for gwyneth and their foster child.

[lilwriter85]

Nate is continuing with his asshole attitude towards Oklahoma

Chris Vacher ‏@chrisfromcanada

@NathanLawrenson Ouch. I’ll be there for a few days to get used to it!

NathanLawrenson ‏@NathanLawrenson

@chrisfromcanada do eat some chicken fried steak for me!

I wonder why Nate has an attitude towards Oklahoma, while there are some people out there that would make fun of North Carolina.

[Joan of Snarc]

What a horrible damn disease.

:(

I cannot imagine tweeting about eating fucking chicken fried steak while my loved one is facing what chaotic life described. WTF? I realize he might want a break from the horror of it all, but seriously I would be focused on my dying loved one. I'm pretty sure chaotic life wasn't tweeting about states she hates to visit and food she'd like to eat during her tragic ordeal.