New Blog: Anna & Mary to take over Ma's (Teri's) chores

[darkplumaged]

The Maxwells Visit California

One wrong turn, and then

They broke down in the Castro.

Uriah's revenge.

[StarrieEyedKat]

"For those Mom’s out there who have children like we were, be encouraged with Mom and Dad’s consistent encouragement, daily in the Word as a family, and the Lord’s help, we have grown to where we love to be together! Yes, we’re not perfect, but the Lord has done an amazing work in our lives. I am so grateful to the wonderful parents that the Lord has blessed me with, because I know that I would not be where I am now with out them!"

Reading that made me chuckle. And twitch.

[Guest Anonymous]

Help Meet turned Writer

Abdicates God-given role?

Comment deleted.

[Patsy]

I have a question about the Maxwells: do you pay to go to their lectures that are just glorified sales pitches? And if so, how much?

[VodouDoll]

You can make "love offerings," but I don't think there's usually a required fee to see them.

There was a Mom's Corner many years ago where Teri wrote about being on bedrest when she was pregnant with Mary. Teenaged Sarah had to take over all of Teri's work. Teri wrote about how she basically did nothing but bitch at Sarah for months on end for not doing everything exactly right. Poor thoughtful Sarah even brought Teri all of her meals on a tray with a little vase of flowers on it, and Teri still chewed her out for tiny imperfections. I can't imagine she'll give Anna and Mary an easier time.

I wish I could find that Corner now. It's probably in the wayback machine somewhere. To Teri's (extremely limited) credit, I think the Corner was about apologizing to your kids when you're unfair to them and trying to let go of perfectionism. But I bet that's cold comfort to Sarah. The mental image of that poor kid, trying her best to keep the house running, with her little flower vase and dinner tray, being mercilessly criticized by her ungrateful, hypercritical mother makes me wince.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

The Maxwells Visit California

One wrong turn, and then

They broke down in the Castro.

Uriah's revenge.

Now THAT is a Moody book I'd read. :lol:

[takers401]

You can make "love offerings," but I don't think there's usually a required fee to see them.

There was a Mom's Corner many years ago where Teri wrote about being on bedrest when she was pregnant with Mary. Teenaged Sarah had to take over all of Teri's work. Teri wrote about how she basically did nothing but bitch at Sarah for months on end for not doing everything exactly right. Poor thoughtful Sarah even brought Teri all of her meals on a tray with a little vase of flowers on it, and Teri still chewed her out for tiny imperfections. I can't imagine she'll give Anna and Mary an easier time.

I wish I could find that Corner now. It's probably in the wayback machine somewhere. To Teri's (extremely limited) credit, I think the Corner was about apologizing to your kids when you're unfair to them and trying to let go of perfectionism. But I bet that's cold comfort to Sarah. The mental image of that poor kid, trying her best to keep the house running, with her little flower vase and dinner tray, being mercilessly criticized by her ungrateful, hypercritical mother makes me wince.

I hope you do find this corner. I'd love to read it.

[emmiedahl]

I'd like to read it also. What an eff-ing bitch. I had a hard pregnancy with the last and basically had to stay in bed due to exhaustion and metabolic issues. I worried so much about how that was affecting my kids. I can't imagine criticizing such a helpful and sweet girl.

[Jessica]

:o Poor Sarah!

[JennJenn]

Those girls really need some time to brush-up on their basic skills, before they take on more housework.

Anna's written language skills are appalling.

Extract from the next blog entry:

"For those Mom’s out there who have children like we were, be encouraged with Mom and Dad’s consistent encouragement, daily in the Word as a family, and the Lord’s help, we have grown to where we love to be together! Yes, we’re not perfect, but the Lord has done an amazing work in our lives. I am so grateful to the wonderful parents that the Lord has blessed me with, because I know that I would not be where I am now with out them!"

Good point. I cringed when I read her entry. It is horribly written. Yet I can't help but compare the writing to the one blog entry she wrote about her decision not to go to college. The writing isn't even similar. Was the other one written for her by Steve? :roll:

[VodouDoll]

Whoa! You're right, they do sound totally different.

I found the blog entry about Teri's bedrest. It was just a week, it turns out, but the rest of what I said was right. Steve told her she was being ungrateful and I guess she prayed about it or something. I don't know how to link to it, but if you go to the wayback machine, it's the Mom's Corner from October 1996 titled "A Mother's Gratefulness." Here are the fun parts:

Sarah especially went "extra miles" in serving and blessing. Not only did she spend her days accomplishing things which I normally would do but she wanted to do special things for Mom. She made my favorite candy for dinner one night and my favorite breakfast the next morning. She made sure there was a treat of some kind on my plate each meal and would often hold the baby while I ate so I could enjoy my meal. Sarah was the one who went through the house picking things up and putting them away so the house would stay tidy.

The week after Mary's birth gave me the perfect opportunity to work on a grateful spirit. There were times when, even though others were doing all my work for me and relieving me of almost all responsibility, I would criticize how a job was done or perhaps its timing. My heart grieved when the Lord would prompt me that I had had an ungrateful attitude. How much better to express my gratitude for what was done and let love cover over any inadequacies.

Steve has helped me see, as we discussed my desire to learn to have a grateful spirit, how just saying 'thank you' is not always enough. I have felt I was grateful because I said 'thank you' so I must admit I did not receive his insight graciously at first. A definition of gratefulness which we, as a family, have memorized is, "making known to God and others in what ways they have benefited my life." This goes beyond a simple thank you.

I am seeing in my life that I can choose to be grateful for what my family does or I can be critical about how it was done. Which attitude is going to generate a desire in their heart to have a servant's spirit and be willing to help? I can get so wrapped up in the job being done well that I forget to have a spirit of praise and commendation.

I have had to stop myself many times in the past three weeks and try again with what I was starting to say. I have had to go back and ask forgiveness for an ungrateful spirit. It is not easy for me to humble myself. I can usually justify any criticism which I am giving out, but I feel God is working in my life to have a grateful heart instead.

So it looks like she apologized, at least. But you'll notice that she still never acknowledges that Sarah did the jobs well, just that she did them. Teri never says that her criticism was unjustified, just that it wasn't very nice. Teri is the best homekeeper of them all, and don't you forget it.

These old Maxwell Corners are really something, you guys. In looking for the bedrest one, I read a TON about how they parented their young kids including - surprise, surprise - a few guest posts on child training by Mrs. Debi Pearl herself. The Corner that really shocked me, though, was April 1998, "When Discouragement Overwhelms You." Teri writes that Nathan was in a car accident and called home to let them know so they wouldn't worry. When he called, she'd been laying on her bed sobbing about her life. She said this so matter-of-factly, like it's such a frequent occurrence it doesn't even raise eyebrows. That woman is trapped in a hell of her own making.

My favorite was an oldie but goody, Steve's February 2000 post titled "Modesty." The Maxwells had another Christian family over to visit, and while everyone was in the living room singing hymns together Steve accidentally wound up looking in the general direction of the family's mom. He almost burst into tears out of humiliation that she might have thought he was sneaking a peek at her boobs. Then he wrote this Corner about how it's all her husband's fault that Steve was put in this situation in the first place for allowing his wife to leave the house in an outfit that, while modest, still showed that she had a shape to her chest. Needless to say, he is confident that her husband will answer for this on Judgment Day. Steve Maxwell is flat nuts.

[QueenMother]

Wow, either they have incredibly dull lives, or they are really full of themselves, or both. Who really cares if you tried to go to Taco Bell but ended up going to Subway instead? How is that worth a blog post?

True. I am also curious as to why they couldn't wait in line; it's fast food and the line moves fast. I also want to know what Anna would order to eat. The girls are all too thin, and Steve has food/eating fears, and I wonder if he has told them the Lord wants them to eat very little and be thin.

[VodouDoll]

Here's another one. From October 1998, "Disciplining Children." Teri was tired of disciplining her kids every time they misbehaved, so she decided to pray with them instead of lecturing.

I was alone with one child. I would pray first. Sometimes I would need to start by asking the Lord's forgiveness for feeling frustrated or discouraged, or maybe for having an impatient, or resigned spirit toward the situation. This has become a sweet time for me to get my focus off of the problem and onto the One Who can work in and through the problem.

The next thing I would pray has seemed to me to be much more powerful than a lecture. I pray saying, "Lord this child wants to be a wise child. He could have chosen to have been kind and waited for the toy rather than trying to grab it away. Lord, You want us to learn to have a servant's heart. You want us to love each other and to be patient. Please forgive this child for his unkindness. Please take back the ground he has given to Satan by yielding to his selfishness. Help him to see his need to cry out to You when he is tempted to be unkind. Please give him strength to not do this again. Thank you Lord, for this opportunity to learn and to grow in You."

So when a Maxwell kid would take a toy from a sibling, instead of just telling him to knock it off Teri would sit the kid down and then cry out to God that the kid was not only unwise, impatient, unkind, selfish, and weak, but had yielded ground to Satan. Nice. And not at all a crazy overreaction on her part and totally terrifying for the child, especially considering the deathfest they grew up in.

[Witsec6]

Here's another one. From October 1998, "Disciplining Children." Teri was tired of disciplining her kids every time they misbehaved, so she decided to pray with them instead of lecturing.

So when a Maxwell kid would take a toy from a sibling, instead of just telling him to knock it off Teri would sit the kid down and then cry out to God that the kid was not only unwise, impatient, unkind, selfish, and weak, but had yielded ground to Satan. Nice. And not at all a crazy overreaction on her part and totally terrifying for the child, especially considering the deathfest they grew up in.

SO passive-aggressive!

[JennJenn]

Whoa! You're right, they do sound totally different.

I found the blog entry about Teri's bedrest. It was just a week, it turns out, but the rest of what I said was right. Steve told her she was being ungrateful and I guess she prayed about it or something. I don't know how to link to it, but if you go to the wayback machine, it's the Mom's Corner from October 1996 titled "A Mother's Gratefulness." Here are the fun parts:

So it looks like she apologized, at least. But you'll notice that she still never acknowledges that Sarah did the jobs well, just that she did them. Teri never says that her criticism was unjustified, just that it wasn't very nice. Teri is the best homekeeper of them all, and don't you forget it.

These old Maxwell Corners are really something, you guys. In looking for the bedrest one, I read a TON about how they parented their young kids including - surprise, surprise - a few guest posts on child training by Mrs. Debi Pearl herself. The Corner that really shocked me, though, was April 1998, "When Discouragement Overwhelms You." Teri writes that Nathan was in a car accident and called home to let them know so they wouldn't worry. When he called, she'd been laying on her bed sobbing about her life. She said this so matter-of-factly, like it's such a frequent occurrence it doesn't even raise eyebrows. That woman is trapped in a hell of her own making.

My favorite was an oldie but goody, Steve's February 2000 post titled "Modesty." The Maxwells had another Christian family over to visit, and while everyone was in the living room singing hymns together Steve accidentally wound up looking in the general direction of the family's mom. He almost burst into tears out of humiliation that she might have thought he was sneaking a peek at her boobs. Then he wrote this Corner about how it's all her husband's fault that Steve was put in this situation in the first place for allowing his wife to leave the house in an outfit that, while modest, still showed that she had a shape to her chest. Needless to say, he is confident that her husband will answer for this on Judgment Day. Steve Maxwell is flat nuts.

I can't find a February 2000 Dad's corner. Is it found at the Dad's/Mom's corners link?

[VodouDoll]

No, it's not. You need to use the Wayback Machine to read their old stuff. Go to http://wayback.archive.org/web/ and type in titus2.com. Click on "Show All."

The next site that comes up will look like a calendar. Click on 1999 at the very top of the page, then on November 14 on the calendar that comes up below. That'll take you to an old version of the Maxwells' site. Click on "Mom's and Dad's Corners Archives" under "Explore This Site," and there you are.

[Patsy]

web.archive.org/web/20000122171450/http://www.titus2.com/Corners/corners.htm

[fundiefan]

Holy hell. I never should have hit up Wayback Machine. I got the MOTH message boards. The FAQ is pure Stevie. ALL posts on that message board had to be approved before they were posted. It is for the 'protection' of the posters, blah, blah, blah. And, if your message doesn't show up it's because it didn't pass the 'encouragement test'. I don't know what the encouragement test was/is because Wayback doesn't have the page anywhere - yet, that I've found - but I think most can guess at least in general what that 'test' was all about.

The deepest, darkest recesses of Steve's brain need to be studied and examined. I don't doubt Teri's depression was, and is, fueled by him. No one can breathe without it being interpreted as sin. No one can look at another human being without it being....well, Steve's lust, but he turns it onto the object of his viewing or her husband's issue; it's THEIR fault he can't keep his eyes in his head and his thoughts pure.

I believe ol Stevie Maxwell is a death obsessed perv.

[JennJenn]

Holy hell. I never should have hit up Wayback Machine. I got the MOTH message boards. The FAQ is pure Stevie. ALL posts on that message board had to be approved before they were posted. It is for the 'protection' of the posters, blah, blah, blah. And, if your message doesn't show up it's because it didn't pass the 'encouragement test'. I don't know what the encouragement test was/is because Wayback doesn't have the page anywhere - yet, that I've found - but I think most can guess at least in general what that 'test' was all about.

The deepest, darkest recesses of Steve's brain need to be studied and examined. I don't doubt Teri's depression was, and is, fueled by him. No one can breathe without it being interpreted as sin. No one can look at another human being without it being....well, Steve's lust, but he turns it onto the object of his viewing or her husband's issue; it's THEIR fault he can't keep his eyes in his head and his thoughts pure.

I believe ol Stevie Maxwell is a death obsessed perv.

You hit the nail on the head. Death obsessed perv is right.

[Guest LilaFowler]

I imagine Teri and Steve to be like Carrie's mom from the movie Carrie.

[clibbyjo]

Steve is insane. I love how its the husbands fault his wife wore a frumper that showed her SHAPE. She is a woman, she is going to have some SHAPE. My husband prefers me to show my SHAPE in clothes that fit ,what would Steve say to that?

[twin2]

Steve is insane. I love how its the husbands fault his wife wore a frumper that showed her SHAPE. She is a woman, she is going to have some SHAPE. My husband prefers me to show my SHAPE in clothes that fit ,what would Steve say to that?

Do you both know where you are going to spend eternity? Is the worldy need to look like a Jezebel worth infinity in the pit fires of hell? Turn your eyes to the Lord Jesus, before it is too late.

[JennJenn]

web.archive.org/web/20000122171450/http://www.titus2.com/Corners/corners.htm

Thank you both for the links! This will be "great" reading. These people are crazy. So sad.

[fundiefan]

Because I woke up far too early to function (and the crappy way I feel tells me why) I've been reading some of the old corners.

It's like watching a train wreck that doesn't have to happen. The danger is seen and known and the train can stop in time to prevent the wrekc. Yet, the conductor just keeps giving it more steam and pushing forward, ignoring everything else around him including warnings and obvious indications of the wreck to come.

In 1996 you could see the wheels of Steve's crazy spinning. You could read, with each new corner, as Teri turned off more and more of herself and went to great lengths to bury all her feelings and emotions. I mean, they were definitely completely indoctrinated into the Pearls and their own crazy religious ideas, but they hadn't quite...I don't know...they hadn't quite become yet, or something. You could still see they were trying to figure things out and make everything fit into their version of reality. Now, nothing exists that isn't in their reality but then, they were still working on making it all fit.

[VodouDoll]

The Wayback Machine is a Steve Maxwell psychological goldmine.

On his father. What on earth happened here?

October 1998

My father inadvertently exposed me to wicked things that have cost me greatly. Eventually, it cost him his family. God had sent him a "shot over the bow," but he ignored it.

March 1998

I have teenage memories of the great desire to live my life with no regrets. I’m sure that watching my parents trash their marriage of 20+ years might have had something to do with that.

On ignoring real aspects of others' lives because it's safest to be ignorant of anything that's not in the Bible

April 1999 - the family went to the zoo and Steve bought two videos about mountain climbing

We carried the TV and VCR out of the downstairs closet. To my amazement, the opening scene began in a temple where one of the climbers was lighting candles. Ugh! My heart then began to twinge a bit under conviction and that should have been enough to stop it right there. However, the mental excuses and gymnastics began as I thought of the $30 I paid for this one. Besides, there probably wouldn’t be any more problems with the video (Sure..).

And so the story unfolded with occasional remarks about his god, temple footage, and other Eastern religion information. To my shame, I didn’t turn it off, but continued watching it with the three oldest children. I failed my older children – I should have stopped it right then and said, "No more, we must turn it off. This isn’t worth compromising our hearts." However, I wanted to watch it, and so we continued to a point where after finishing the first video, we started the 2nd tape. It was about high altitude effects on the body. However, by this time I was feeling rather convicted. Then out of the blue, the guy being interviewed cursed. That was enough to push me over the edge and turn it off. Why hadn’t I chosen to stop watching it earlier?

The sad fact was, if I had chosen to stop watching the video earlier, my older children would have seen that their father was very careful to guard his heart and their hearts. They would have seen that even in a situation where Dad wants to continue, he is man enough to deny himself. That was one of those rare opportunities that don’t come around often. We are teaching our children in everything we do. I showed them, if it is something that interests you, it is okay to continue. I failed!

A Mom's Corner from March 1999. Nathan was allowed to preach at the men in the homeless mission, but not to talk with them about their lives because that would corrupt him.

Our 22 year old son volunteers one night a week at the City Union Mission in downtown Kansas City. In addition to being exposed to secular thinking in his work place, he is exposed to the real world at the mission. He is ready for this challenge. He has a one-on-one Bible study with one of the residents. We have encouraged him in this ministry, but have cautioned against such things as listening to details of immoral or evil practices.

On secretly hating Teri for no reason.

April 1998

There was some trivial imperfection in my sweet wife and I allowed myself to dwell on it. Whenever I saw her, I would take up that thought. I began to feel sorry for myself and be judgmental of her. I knew it was wrong, but I continued to do it anyway. Soon she knew something was wrong and asked me about it. I told her it was my problem and she could pray for me. Sharing that with her would have been hurtful and not helped in any way. Her prayers were what I needed.

By God's timing our churches' men's meeting came and I was eager to go. During a time of sharing I confessed to the men that my heart was wrong towards Teri and I needed prayer. I was allowing wrong thoughts, but had not been able to break out of it. As is the custom during these fantastic fellowship times, the men gathered around me and prayed for me. The result -- God totally freed me from my thoughts and I had wonderful peace on the way home that night.

On how fun will make you a fat, immature, lazy child neglector and why the Maxwells have eliminated everything enjoyable from their lives.

March 1998

We share with our children what is important to us. If sports are important to us, then they will be important to our children and they will likely be couch potatoes and neglecters of their families. If pleasure and recreation take prominence, our children will likely be slothful and gluttons. If we are "religious" only on Sunday morning, live for ourselves, and don't demonstrate our love and excitement for Jesus, then our children will likely consider us hypocrites and reject Christ.

January 2000

The pressing need of our day is for fathers to turn their hearts to their children. Even those of us who think we are involved in our children's lives, need to constantly be on guard to be sure we are looking to their hearts. Taking children to Boy Scouts, T-Ball and soccer is not turning our hearts to our children. These may be entertaining and fun, but have little, if any, eternal benefit. Do we want to raise up men and women of God, or worldly, pleasure seeking, children that never mature? Even if some may argue the above is not chaff, no one should argue that if we are not doing what Jesus wants us to do, it is chaff. That is all that matters.

I would challenge everyone one of us in this matter. Why not as husband and wife agree to eliminate EVERY activity and pursuit? (TV, books, sports, clubs, etc.) Now, prayerfully add back in only those that the Lord clearly says He wants the family/individual to be involved with. We shouldn't add it back in until we can look our wife in the eyes and say "God has told me that we are to do this."

November 1997

Years ago I was very troubled over how our sons' participation in team sports was stealing our family time. I finally told Teri we needed to quit team sports after the season was over. Teri and I both loved to watch them play, as the boys were very good. She just couldn't agree to it. I decided that I would begin to cry out to the Lord to change her heart. Notice I wasn't asking God to change her heart due to a selfish motive, it was to allow more time so we could be in the Bible in the evenings. In a very short amount of time, God changed her heart and the rest is history.

On the Lord's decision to bring Steve home from the corporate world. It sounds like there's much more to it than they currently disclose. What on earth could his boss have wanted him to do?

September 1997

In January I told my boss I could not do what they were asking me to do. As a Christian it would violate my conscience and as a result I expected to be let go. There have been many interactions since then over this and nothing has happened yet even though I have stood my ground. Two weeks ago I met with the company president and told him I thought my position ought to be eliminated as no one should be asked to do those things. He gave my boss until the end of the month to resolve the situation. So will it be resolved by then? Only the Lord knows.

February 1998

On the 21st of January 1997, God led me to take a stand at my job which we thought might cost me my job. Unfortunately, we were not prepared to be without an income, but we knew God would provide if that was His will. To our total amazement, the potential of losing the job drug on all year. One day I would think I was going to be fired and the next it would quiet down.

It was such a wonderful time of learning to rest and trust in my Lord Jesus’ care. I can’t remember one night of losing sleep over it. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t that I didn’t care or had my head in the clouds. There was just peace about it and thankfulness that Christ was dealing with the situation.

The next thing we knew they were no longer talking about firing me, now there was talk of laying me off. The funny thing was that was great news as there can be some consideration with a layoff as opposed to being fired. We had been praying, "Lord just make it clear to us that you really want me to leave." What could be more clear than to have your employer lay you off. Right?

Well then they decided they would give me the choice between another job and a layoff. This was not according to our plan at all! God was supposed to make it absolutely clear by not giving us any room for a decision. That part brought some real earnestness to our prayers. Finally, God gave Teri and I full peace that I was to leave and come home.

And, just for fun, May 1997. This one is a classic. Why do you suppose he felt so strongly about women not reading it?

Moms - PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS!! It is for your husbands only.

Friday I was invited to go to lunch with one of my suppliers. If that was you, would you go? Next let me tell you it was a saleswoman. Would you still go? Mixed lunches are the accepted norm these days and so are close working relationships. Might someone who didn’t participate be looked on as an old prude?

Let each one of us ask ourselves whether we feel we have been faithful to our wives. Now let’s imagine our wives asking themselves if they feel we have been faithful. Do you think our wife’s answer would match our answer? What if they knew our thoughts; would they change their decision?

Jesus defined adultery as lusting for another woman. So a definition of faithfulness would likely be even narrower than just that of adultery. We can be sure that our wives would rather they are the ones we are spending time with, no matter what the reason. (Shouldn’t that be our feelings as well?) After many observations, I believe that individual (even small group) time spent with women other than our wives is like playing with fire. I know this statement can evoke some interesting responses, but I am convinced it is true. Let me illustrate this further.

If David, a man after God’s own heart, could fall into the trap of adultery, because of being where he shouldn’t have been, then why do we who are less spiritual, feel we couldn’t fall into a similar trap? Homes are broken, and lives damaged all because of what reason? Could it ever be worth that? The idea that we can’t become attached to someone else is a lie from hell, with history bearing witness. It is like playing Russian roulette with 6 rounds loaded.

Let’s assume we are all moral giants and totally impervious to physical temptations, (I know it’s impossible, but for the sake of my example). In 1 Thessalonians 5:22 we are instructed to abstain from even the appearance of evil. I told the saleswoman I couldn’t go as I’m determined not to go to lunch with other women. Before I could continue, she laughed and said she wouldn’t bite and could even bring a male sales engineer along. I explained that with all that aside, what if someone who knew Teri and me saw us together? What might they think? She said, "Wow, do you really mean that?" I said I did and she said she now understood and that was great.

If we will be committed to taking no chance, I believe God will honor it. Another example. If heroin was legal, would you try it? Why not? Well one reason is because we know how addicting it can be and we don’t know how much we have to take to get hooked. So we would be crazy to try it. In that light, how did we fall in love with our wives? For me, I spent time with Teri, she became my friend (and still is) and then I fell in love with her. So why would we expect not to be in danger in becoming attached to ANY other woman that we spent much time with? From David until now, men daily are trapped, could you be next?

Our wives are home caring for our children when we know they are as bright (if not brighter) then the women we meet in our vocation. Shouldn’t they be the ones we go to lunch with? If child care is a problem then we could go home and let them go out with another homeschooling mom to show them how much we appreciate their ministry to our children.

Men, we must not delight in the company of any woman other than our wives. Not only are they worth our faithfulness and adoration, but we are commanded to love them. "Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it." Let us be men of God, committed to our wives.