New Blog: Anna & Mary to take over Ma's (Teri's) chores

[Guest Anonymous]

Thanks so much for this. Please can I ask where you found these - were they on the blog? I tried using wayback to find the dad's corners, but they only went back to 2000. Woul love to read more!

[Guest Anonymous]

No, it's not. You need to use the Wayback Machine to read their old stuff. Go to http://wayback.archive.org/web/ and type in titus2.com. Click on "Show All."

The next site that comes up will look like a calendar. Click on 1999 at the very top of the page, then on November 14 on the calendar that comes up below. That'll take you to an old version of the Maxwells' site. Click on "Mom's and Dad's Corners Archives" under "Explore This Site," and there you are.

Sorry, scrub that question - and thanks for this!

[fundiefan]

I wonder - pure speculation, of course - if Steve's issues at work had to do with a woman being in a position of authority over him; like, a female co-worker getting a promotion or being hired to be his superior?

In one of the old corners he talks about being invited to lunch, alone, by a female co-worker and how wrong that was. In several other corners (so far I'm up to mid 1999) the corruption and wrongness of being alone in a car with a woman or having lunch alone with a woman has been tossed around to make whatever point they're trying to make at the time.

Whatever happened, it sheds a different light on Steve coming home full time and why. It doesn't appear that it was entirely by choice, contrary to what they claim these days.

[Guest Anonymous]

Because I woke up far too early to function (and the crappy way I feel tells me why) I've been reading some of the old corners.

It's like watching a train wreck that doesn't have to happen. The danger is seen and known and the train can stop in time to prevent the wrekc. Yet, the conductor just keeps giving it more steam and pushing forward, ignoring everything else around him including warnings and obvious indications of the wreck to come.

In 1996 you could see the wheels of Steve's crazy spinning. You could read, with each new corner, as Teri turned off more and more of herself and went to great lengths to bury all her feelings and emotions. I mean, they were definitely completely indoctrinated into the Pearls and their own crazy religious ideas, but they hadn't quite...I don't know...they hadn't quite become yet, or something. You could still see they were trying to figure things out and make everything fit into their version of reality. Now, nothing exists that isn't in their reality but then, they were still working on making it all fit.

This is what I asked our new 'ex-fundie' member Lalabee, over on her 'delurking thread', but she hasn't been back yet. Steve and Teri clearly laid out the hell that consumed the life of their family, back in those early days. I would love to understand the context in which other fundies came to idolise them, because to me it seems so sinister to read those blogs. Where is the 'perfect life' that others should aspire to. I just don't see it, and I'd love to understand more about what it is (and what the life circumstances are) that draw people in.

[JennJenn]

I wonder - pure speculation, of course - if Steve's issues at work had to do with a woman being in a position of authority over him; like, a female co-worker getting a promotion or being hired to be his superior?

In one of the old corners he talks about being invited to lunch, alone, by a female co-worker and how wrong that was. In several other corners (so far I'm up to mid 1999) the corruption and wrongness of being alone in a car with a woman or having lunch alone with a woman has been tossed around to make whatever point they're trying to make at the time.

Whatever happened, it sheds a different light on Steve coming home full time and why. It doesn't appear that it was entirely by choice, contrary to what they claim these days.

I wonder if Steve ever cheated on Teri in the early years of their marriage and she found out? Ever since then, this is his way of punishing himself with all the wacky rules, etc. He's obviously obsessed with making sure everyone knows he wants nothing to do with even being around another woman.

I would love to know what the heck his Dad did to him. He has some serious Daddy issues. Did his Dad cheat on his Mom?

As for the job situation....to hear the story from Steve's old boss would probably be priceless. Probably insane.

[jockosmom]

OMG. I didn't realize these people were quite this bad. I hadn't read any of these "corners" and have only been familiar with their family blog since I started reading here on FJ. What a mess they are! So self-involved; so worried about their reactions or non-reactions to every little thing. Steve's posts sound like a person walking a tightrope all the time. Is that what Christianity is supposed to feel like?

[apple1]

One of these days, this family is going to make the national news... and it won't be for anything good. :-(

This entire situation is a tragedy waiting to happen.

[JennJenn]

OMG. I didn't realize these people were quite this bad. I hadn't read any of these "corners" and have only been familiar with their family blog since I started reading here on FJ. What a mess they are! So self-involved; so worried about their reactions or non-reactions to every little thing. Steve's posts sound like a person walking a tightrope all the time. Is that what Christianity is supposed to feel like?

Can you imagine the psychological games he plays with his wife and children when they make a mistake and disappoint him? He is going to snap one day.

[snarkykitty]

so she can WRITE!

The girls are going to grocery shop. Don't they know grocery stores play soft rock and other shoppers wear short & tank tops!!

Poor girls, taking on all these additional chores. How about Mary's school? Is anybody teaching this child? I doubt very much schooling is done when Uriah is on the road....

Last week in the grocery store, they were playing a Backstreet Boys song. I do not hide the fact that I am still a fan and actually went to a concert when they were popular (I sat next to a just-as-enthusiastic ten year old girl). I was in the produce section, singing, "as long as you love me, yeah, yeahhhh" and an older lady turned around and said "you have a lovely singing voice" HA!.

[formergothardite]

Poor Teri. If my husband told the world that there was something about me that he hated so much that he could barely stand me and it took a ton of work to get over I would be so hurt. Especially since he wouldn't even tell her what it was because it was so hurtful. I would spend all my time trying to figure out what it was about me that he hated. Steve is pure crazy. Those kids are so screwed up. Can you imagine poor Anna when she married into that family. Christopher must have so many issues.

[fundiefan]

I wonder if Steve ever cheated on Teri in the early years of their marriage and she found out? Ever since then, this is his way of punishing himself with all the wacky rules, etc. He's obviously obsessed with making sure everyone knows he wants nothing to do with even being around another woman.

I would love to know what the heck his Dad did to him. He has some serious Daddy issues. Did his Dad cheat on his Mom?

As for the job situation....to hear the story from Steve's old boss would probably be priceless. Probably insane.

I wonder, too, if he cheated and got caught. He seems to have an overwhelming, uncontrollable fear of women. He 'guards' what his children might see with their eyes to such extremes and I really think he's actually guarding himself. Remember - Teri has Internet passwords because he doesn't trust himself? Anything a woman says or does in any context is a threat. No looking, no private conversations, hell, half the time not even acknowledging a woman who is not his wife or child even exists. They don't even go to church anymore, choosing instead to take their brand of Christianity to a nursing home where all the women are old and not a threat.

The man is obsessively scared of women. That much is clear.

[Guest Anonymous]

From Dad's corner Sept 1997:

In January I told my boss I could not do what they were asking me to do. As a Christian it would violate my conscience and as a result I expected to be let go. There have been many interactions since then over this and nothing has happened yet even though I have stood my ground. Two weeks ago I met with the company president and told him I thought my position ought to be eliminated as no one should be asked to do those things. He gave my boss until the end of the month to resolve the situation. So will it be resolved by then? Only the Lord knows.

My emboldening. Steve refers to the Company President as 'him' but his boss as 'they'.... yeah, it looks very much like his boss was a woman. This corner came just a few months after the May 1997 entry where he refused to have business lunches with a woman sales rep. At first she laughed, then he explained and she seemed to back off.....

Friday I was invited to go to lunch with one of my suppliers. If that was you, would you go? Next let me tell you it was a saleswoman. Would you still go? Mixed lunches are the accepted norm these days and so are close working relationships. Might someone who didn’t participate be looked on as an old prude?

......

After many observations, I believe that individual (even small group) time spent with women other than our wives is like playing with fire. I know this statement can evoke some interesting responses, but I am convinced it is true. Let me illustrate this further.

If David, a man after God’s own heart, could fall into the trap of adultery, because of being where he shouldn’t have been, then why do we who are less spiritual, feel we couldn’t fall into a similar trap?

......

I told the saleswoman I couldn’t go as I’m determined not to go to lunch with other women. Before I could continue, she laughed and said she wouldn’t bite and could even bring a male sales engineer along. I explained that with all that aside, what if someone who knew Teri and me saw us together? What might they think? She said, "Wow, do you really mean that?" I said I did and she said she now understood and that was great.

Enough time between entries for her (and/or others) to have put in a formal complaint?

[VodouDoll]

But he also told the company president that they should eliminate his position entirely because nobody should be asked to do the things they were asking him to do. He can't really have been advising the prez that the company should eliminate any and all positions with female supervisors or where male employees have to have professional dealings with women. It sounds to me like it was something central to his job description.

[JennJenn]

But he also told the company president that they should eliminate his position entirely because nobody should be asked to do the things they were asking him to do. He can't really have been advising the prez that the company should eliminate any and all positions with female supervisors or where male employees have to have professional dealings with women. It sounds to me like it was something central to his job description.

He was an electrical engineer right? What were they asking him to do...go to a trade show in Vegas, have a few drinks, drum up some new business, grab t-shirts for the wife and kids, and fly back home. The horrors!

[Guest Anonymous]

He can't really have been advising the prez that the company should eliminate any and all positions with female supervisors or where male employees have to have professional dealings with women.

Maybe I've become too cynical but I think that Steve would totally do that.

[emmiedahl]

Steve on why fun is bad. Notice how love is in the past tense in the first few sentences.

I am amazed at all of the fantastic, fun things there are here on this earth for our good pleasure. I loved the challenge and sensations of flying small planes. I loved the wind and salt spray in my face as I would tack a small sailboat into the wind. I loved the rush of acceleration and breeze as the motorcycle gained speed on the highway. I loved canoeing down a spring-rain swollen stream with the sound of rushing water in my ears. It has been many years since I enjoyed those activities because I know how easily my heart is drawn into them.

(lots of other observations)... Fun activities (of self-indulgence) get in the way of our raising godly children, and serving our Lord by stealing away the time God would want me to use for His work.

omg, I am happy to be several states away.

[jockosmom]

Steve on why fun is bad. Notice how love is in the past tense in the first few sentences.

That is one of the saddest things I have ever read. Out in the world, enjoying God's creation is too much fun, so you shouldn't do it. And because you don't want to enjoy it, you manage to keep your whole family from enjoying anything either. I wish those poor Maxwell kids would make a break for it and run for the hills!

[deborahlynn1979]

Oh, dear GOD. We are totally going to see some kind of weirdo suicide with these folks one day, aren't we?

[Guest Anonymous]

SO passive-aggressive!

Yeah, she is as freaky as Steve in her own right. And she does it to him too...

Mom's Corner - February 1998

A Quiet and Gentle Spirit: Some Real Life Examples

It seems that I can’t let a year go by without a Mom’s Corner dealing with a wife’s need for a quiet and gentle spirit. 1 Peter 3:4 says, "Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

I wonder how many of us were born with gentle and quiet spirits? I know I was not! This is something which God began pointing out in my life several years ago. He did this in what I considered a most unusual way. He began to make me aware of my interactions with my husband viewing them almost as an outsider would.

"Honey, who was that on the phone? What did they want? Well, what did you say?" "Steven, did you see what Joseph just did. No matter how many times I tell him he still does it."

"Have you made a decision yet? I asked you about this on Monday and I am feeling like I need to know what we are going to do."

I needed to learn, and am still in training, to have a quiet spirit. Often a quiet spirit for me would translate into a quiet mouth. If my husband chooses to share a phone conversation with me, I am pleased to have my curiosity satisfied. But if he does not, it is good for me to trust God to give me information which I am interested in or might need to know. If Steve forgets to tell me something which was important, that may come to light at some point. Then if he feels badly about having forgotten to tell me, it is a lesson from the Lord not a controlling wife.

[fundiefan]

Maybe I've become too cynical but I think that Steve would totally do that.

Me too. It was, in fact, the first thought I had when I read that. He was saying his position should be eliminated because no one should be asked to do what he was asked and I immediately thought he was offended and horrified to be asked to report to or even work with a woman.

Since he's too insecure to even have a business lunch with a woman, even after she said she'd bring another man, his issues are obviously deep and whacked enough to firmly believe in the 'wrongness' of even suggesting he report to or work directly with a woman.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

But he also told the company president that they should eliminate his position entirely because nobody should be asked to do the things they were asking him to do. He can't really have been advising the prez that the company should eliminate any and all positions with female supervisors or where male employees have to have professional dealings with women. It sounds to me like it was something central to his job description.

First, let me just say this thread is awesome. (Yes, I'm obsessed.)

I think the "they" in "I couldn't do what they wanted" might actually be a plural they - he might be telling his boss (sex unspecified, but could be male) that he can't do what the COMPANY (in aggregate) is asking for.

However, I do suspect along with the rest of you that whatever it was probably involved dealings with women. Perhaps not working under one, but only with one, even. On the other hand, yeah, you're right - he thought the job itself (one specific job, at that) should be completely eliminated, so maybe that's not it after all. Perhaps it involved wining and dining clients generally? I thought he was involved in sales, at the end? Not sure where I read that but I recall thinking that he's probably bold enough to do the evangelizing because he had a sales background already - but I might just be confused.

Whatever it was though, given the timelines and the offer to move him to a new job and all that indicates to me that it's gotta be something that's normal and ethical for ordinary secular people (otherwise he'd just whistle-blow and there wouldn't be all this conflict) but that goes against his own personal rules.

I will say though that if he was going to trade shows, he would be subject to "booth babes" and I can easily imagine that not sitting well with Steve (heck, it doesn't really sit well with ME, but for different reasons).

[denimjumper]

Only more proof that Teri and Steve are perfect for each other. Perfectly messed up.

[gardenvarietycitizen]

I would love to know what the heck his Dad did to him. He has some serious Daddy issues. Did his Dad cheat on his Mom?

Steve's dad cheating on his Mom (and that leading to the breakup of their 20-year marriage) would definitely fit the scenario presented, I think. I suspect Steve never actually strayed, but he's utterly paranoid of doing so. Heck, his dad might not have "gone all the way" cheated either, but just grown away from his Mom while at the same time having mixed relationships at his job or whatever and Steve blames it. Obviously I have no way of knowing, but if this were some novel, it would work as a plot I think.

Goodness knows there are plenty of people who take "learn from a bad example" WAY too far and go completely off the rails trying to avoid whatever mistakes they feel their parents made.

[VodouDoll]

If Steve forgets to tell me something which was important, that may come to light at some point. Then if he feels badly about having forgotten to tell me, it is a lesson from the Lord not a controlling wife.

It's no fun at all to be married to a martyr, which is probably why Teri is right up Steve's alley.

[johnhugh]

What caused Teri's depression, has it ever been disclosed?