Chad and Erin

[Aurora rising]

My boyfriend has a pretty strong African accent and he calls me his girl, but it sounds like "gull." It's sweet, and I find nothing wrong with it. Though I do agree with the poster who said that some fundie men use it to demean women.

A turkish friend of mine is calling his wife "güllüm" - my rose. But he comes from a region where they have a strong slang and it comes out as "gollum" :ew:

[Mrs Ms]

Also I use a rolled up sock to create a great big doughnut bun that stays in place all day. :lol:

Just a warning, I've tried to click on to that website twice now and each time my internet has instantly crashed. :cry:

On a happier note, Erins hair is one of the things I like about the Bates! It is clearly not the family norm and not really the Gothard fantasy hair. Even if they do wear matching monstrosities more often then I care to remember, at least the offspring are allowed some sense of personal style and slight individuality.

[Justme]

They are certainly spending more time together than most courting fundies *cough* Joe Maxwell and Liz Munck. I would think they don't blog about every meeting.

[Rosie]

I would have thought fundies would call an unmarried virgin over 30 a spinster.

Unrelated, somebody screen capped my comment and Kelly's reply on the defrauding bates blog post, on Tumblr.

Link please?

[miffy]

Link please?

http://wtffundiefamilies.tumblr.com/pos ... -the-bates

[Tangy Bee]

Are they holding hands yet? Maybe Erin is waiting for him to put a ring on it b4 he can touch it ;)

[freethemall]

I know what you mean, totally. But I do think, sometimes, that fundie men use the term "girl" when referring to a "woman" as a way to demean her or put her in "her place." I hate to even bring this up as an example, but it's the only thing I can think of off the top of my head- and that's how, way back in the day, white men used to call African American men, "boy" as a way to demean them. Now, I do NOT think Chad is doing this with Erin- I'm about 99% sure he's using girl as a term of endearment. For some reason, with him, it seems sweet and not like he's trying to be all patriarchal over a subservient Erin.

I think it's important to look at the context of certain words which are being said, who's saying it, why it's being said and how it's received. In this case, Erin refers to herself as "YG" "Your Girl" when she writes to him in the comments.

I agree with you that context is everything. And yes it does irk me to no end that the Duggars, for instance, see their older daughters as the kind of girls that need buddies to go with them to work, can't choose their own partners, have to live at home until they're married, etc. There's a million worrisome issues there and I can see how on FJ the fact that they're called "girls" is a representation of that, and honestly, their parents could call them "women" but those issues would still be there.

[meep]

I agree with the formality thing. They are one of those couples that are probably planning every detail of their wedding and future life together already but for sake of logistics, they aren't "officially" engaged yet.

[divadivine]

You know what they say.... the bigger the hair, the closer to God. :cracking-up:

[Mama Mia]

You know, I don't understand why people on this blog tend to get upset about Erin and the Duggar -ladies- being referred to as girls - being in my mid-twenties, I find it pretty common and not offensive for women/girls of my age to be called girls. And hey, Gwen Stefani was 25 when No Doubt released "I'm Just a Girl".

I don't get this either. Virtually everyone I know in their 20's will say "boys" and "girls" not men and women. Men and Women tend to be used for more formal situation. As in when my mid-twenties daughters talk about dating - they say they want to find a new boy (or guy). Or my son would say he was going out with his girl.

You wouldn't use this is a professional setting - you would use their name or say "Can I speak to the man (woman) who was here at the front desk earlier".

[GeoBQn]

Update from Kelly in the blog comments:

Ash June 12, 2013 at 6:59 am

Hello Kelly! We would love an update on Erins courtship if you have any new news!God Bless!

Kelly June 13, 2013 at 7:36 pm

Dear ash,

Have you ever seen the movie “Sgt. York?†It’s an old black and white film that our kids love…Anyways, there’s a scene in the movie where Sgt. York is working day and night to try to buy a piece of bottom land so that he can propose to Gracie. He thinks she’ll be happier and say “yes†if he buys this piece of property. So he marks his calendar and works, trying to save enough money for the land by the end of the month. It’s a really funny scene and we tease chad saying he’s trying to buy a piece of bottom land. He’s working long hours trying to save money… grin!! Love, Kelly

She also said that Nathan was taking mostly Bible classes because he wants to be a preacher (must be giving up on the College Minus political science degree), and that Tori and Alyssa are taking gen ed college classes (presumably at Crown Clown College).

[JenniferJuniper]

I don't get this either. Virtually everyone I know in their 20's will say "boys" and "girls" not men and women. Men and Women tend to be used for more formal situation. As in when my mid-twenties daughters talk about dating - they say they want to find a new boy (or guy). Or my son would say he was going out with his girl.

You wouldn't use this is a professional setting - you would use their name or say "Can I speak to the man (woman) who was here at the front desk earlier".

I'm double 25 now, but when I was 25 I certainly didn't consider myself a girl or the men my age to be boys. I was a college graduate managing a staff of 10 people by then and if someone referred to me as girl in any facet of my life I would have told him/her off. I know it may be the fashion today and I'm from a different generation, but "girl" and "boy" are terms that refer to children (the one major exception being "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" which seems to persist into old age for some reason, perhaps because "partner" is a little more awkward sounding). My oldest is 18 and I said something the other day along the lines of "well, you're a grown woman now so....." and she looked at me in horror. Sorry, sweetie, but it's the truth. If you're old enough to vote, sign contracts, and join the Army, you're officially an adult.

[Flossie]

Honestly, I don't want to sound crotchety, but Chad and Erin kind of freak me out. They're both very young and haven't even spent any time alone getting to know each other*, but they're SO attached already.

It depends on how closely they are/were being monitered when out on dates. My high school Spanish teacher loved everything to do with Mexico. He spent a lot of time in Mexico during summer break and once took a job in Mexico for two years. He was always telling us how things were the same and how things were different between the two nations.

Back then (probably 45+ years ago) young people often courted in a similar way to the Gothardites. At the beginning, the young people were fairly closely monitered, but as time went on and it seemed that things would work out, the young people were often sent out on dates with only a couple of younger brothers or sisters as chaperones.

He (my teacher) laughed about how easy it was to distract the young ones and steal a few minutes alone. Go for a walk and let the little kids run on ahead a bit, the little kids weren't very good at being quiet when they went back to find the young lovers, plenty of time to break apart and look innocent. Take them to a public event and give them a coin to send them off to get a goodie. Plenty of time to talk alone before the kiddies came back. Things like that.

If Gil and Kelly feel that Chad and Erin aren't going to go overboard, they might be backing off the surveillance a bit.

[singsingsing]

I'm 25, and I would be kind of weirded out if, say, my mother, or a close friend, referred to me and my sister, or me and a group of other close female acquaintances, as 'the women'. It's all about context. Often 'the girls' is used the same way as 'the guys'. I guess it could be a generational thing. But there's a big difference between your boss talking about "the girls in the office" and your mother saying, "You girls have fun" or your boyfriend saying, "Are you going out with the girls tonight?"

[No Cure for Stupid]

I agree with the majority. Even at 28, being called a "girl" doesn't bother me. Even if I'm retirement age, it wouldn't bother me to be called a girl. On the other hand, "woman" just seems so cold and formal and unfriendly to me.

[JenniferJuniper]

I'm 25, and I would be kind of weirded out if, say, my mother, or a close friend, referred to me and my sister, or me and a group of other close female acquaintances, as 'the women'. It's all about context. Often 'the girls' is used the same way as 'the guys'. I guess it could be a generational thing. But there's a big difference between your boss talking about "the girls in the office" and your mother saying, "You girls have fun" or your boyfriend saying, "Are you going out with the girls tonight?"

Agree. My comments were directed more to the adults who say they like to think of themselves or prefer to refer to themselves and their contemporaries as girls. I work with young men in their mid to late 20's, and I don't get the sense they think of themselves as boys.

The terms "girl" and "boy" used to describe adults are often considered demeaning by women and men of color because they were words used by men in power to demean, humiliate or otherwise lessen their status in society. Relative to women, I personally observed and experienced it in the workplace right up to the 90's when company human resources departments started actively educating people about avoid discriminatory practices and language. Probably to keep their asses from being sued, but whatever, it helped.

Which is why it can be painful for some of us to hear 25 or 29 year old women say they are girls. It's their right, of course. But there is a long, ugly history here, and refer to the wrong person as a "girl" or "boy", there may be hell to pay!

I agree with the majority. Even at 28, being called a "girl" doesn't bother me. Even if I'm retirement age, it wouldn't bother me to be called a girl. On the other hand, "woman" just seems so cold and formal and unfriendly to me.

I'm a 50 year old woman. People who know me don't consider me to be cold and unfriendly. (Unless they're all just ass-faced bastard people who are lying to me!)

Do you likewise consider the term "man" to sound cold and unfriendly?

[gustava]

Agree. My comments were directed more to the adults who say they like to think of themselves or prefer to refer to themselves and their contemporaries as girls. I work with young men in their mid to late 20's, and I don't get the sense they think of themselves as boys.

The terms "girl" and "boy" used to describe adults are often considered demeaning by women and men of color because they were words used by men in power to demean, humiliate or otherwise lessen their status in society. Relative to women, I personally observed and experienced it in the workplace right up to the 90's when company human resources departments started actively educating people about avoid discriminatory practices and language. Probably to keep their asses from being sued, but whatever, it helped.

Which is why it can be painful for some of us to hear 25 or 29 year old women say they are girls. It's their right, of course. But there is a long, ugly history here, and refer to the wrong person as a "girl" or "boy", there may be hell to pay!

I'm a 50 year old woman. People who know me don't consider me to be cold and unfriendly. (Unless they're all just ass-faced bastard people who are lying to me!)

Do you likewise consider the term "man" to sound cold and unfriendly?

Girls get coffee. Women run the company. Many of us fought the "I'll ask my girl to bring in coffee." It makes me angry that some of you want to return to the days of making the coffee for the male boss. Language matters!

[sleepygirl1]

Kind of off topic..but are their any other fundies courting? I know their has been some weddings this year, but are any courting like Chad and Erin?

[Kira]

Kind of off topic..but are their any other fundies courting? I know their has been some weddings this year, but are any courting like Chad and Erin?

I don't think there are any other fundies courting, it's becoming a problem and a few blogs have discussed the lack of courtships in fundieland.

[Mela99]

I don't think there are any other fundies courting, it's becoming a problem and a few blogs have discussed the lack of courtships in fundieland.

Because the fundie fathers are all cray-crazy. Nobody wants to marry a Maxwell or a Duggar. Too much inbreeding, not enogh families. Wizard line is going to die out because they're not willing to marry Muggles.

[Kira]

Because the fundie fathers are all cray-crazy. Nobody wants to marry a Maxwell or a Duggar. Too much inbreeding, not enogh families. Wizard line is going to die out because they're not willing to marry Muggles.

I agree with you about some of the fathers, but what about the ones who are willing to marry off their children. They're having the same problems.

Eta: I think crazy fathers are not the only problem.

[miffy]

Maybe god is trying to fix the error he made by creating wizards? Only the wizard lites are going to procreate.

[gypsygirl22]

You know what they say.... the bigger the hair, the closer to God. :cracking-up:

Hair that reaches to Jesus!

[Megan]

You know, I don't understand why people on this blog tend to get upset about Erin and the Duggar -ladies- being referred to as girls - being in my mid-twenties, I find it pretty common and not offensive for women/girls of my age to be called girls. And hey, Gwen Stefani was 25 when No Doubt released "I'm Just a Girl".

"I'm Just a Girl" is critiquing the whole problem of 25 year old females being "girls"

This world is forcing me

To hold your hand

'Cause I'm just a girl, little 'ol me

Don't let me out of your sight

(snip)

I'm just a girl in the world...

That's all that you'll let me be!

I'm just a girl, living in captivity

Your rule of thumb

Makes me worry some

[thoughtful]

Have you ever seen the movie “Sgt. York?†It’s an old black and white film that our kids love…Anyways, there’s a scene in the movie where Sgt. York is working day and night to try to buy a piece of bottom land so that he can propose to Gracie. He thinks she’ll be happier and say “yes†if he buys this piece of property. So he marks his calendar and works, trying to save enough money for the land by the end of the month. It’s a really funny scene

It's not a scene, it's about a half-hour of the film, and there is nothing funny about it. I just re-watched that film during TCM's Memorial Day line-up, so it is fresh in my mind.

York, who is a non-believer, has a deadline to earn the money -- if he doesn't make it, he loses the land, and the items he's given the man in trade as partial payment (pretty much all of his worldly goods).

There is a long sequence of him slaving away to the point of exhaustion, despairing, and finally begging the man who owns the land to extend the deadline a few days, since he is hoping to win the rest of the money at a shooting competition.

The man agrees, and York wins the contest, but the landowner tells York that he'd changed his mind and sold the land to someone else. York vows revenge, goes out to kill the man, gets hit by lightning, and goes to church instead, to accept Jesus:

http://www.tcm.com/mediaroom/video/2426 ... tning.html

I know, not a big deal compared to other dumb things fundies say, and I can see how just saying "he's saving for a piece of bottom land" could become a running joke in the family.

But you'd think they'd remember how it actually plays out in the film, since it is seminal to York's becoming A CHRISTIAN! :roll:

Here's the whole film, for anyone interested:

http://www.popscreen.com/v/6dc3y/Sergeant-York-1941-CD1