Chad and Erin

[Dandruff]

Thanks, all, for your insights. I got the pillow idea from Josh & Anna...I thought it was ridiculous, but also (potentially) a romantic fundie trendsetter. If Chad wanted to buy Erin shoes because she's really into shoes, then good for him.

[HereticHick]

Josh Duggar seems to have inherited some of Jim Bob's competitive-assholery. Do you think he's watching the Bates and saying to his parents, "Hey, the Bates are leaving us in the dust--you need to ease up on the J'Slaves if you want any of them married off!"

I would think that the Duggar family inability to spin off any more new little families might start getting remarked upon in Fundy-circles.

[Mela99]

Josh Duggar seems to have inherited some of Jim Bob's competitive-assholery. Do you think he's watching the Bates and saying to his parents, "Hey, the Bates are leaving us in the dust--you need to ease up on the J'Slaves if you want any of them married off!"

I would think that the Duggar family inability to spin off any more new little families might start getting remarked upon in Fundy-circles.

I wouldn't put it past him to seek out husbands for his sisters and feel like a big man.

[marmalade]

I would enjoy shoes. Why not? It's something I can actually use a lot. Chocolates are gone very quickly, and nobody likes picture pillows anyway. Good shoes, however, stay with you for years. Maybe Erin is the type of woman who prefers practical things over silly romantic stuff. I would also enjoy a nice purse, or a fancy coat or something like that. Kind of shows that my partner really cares about getting me something I will treasure but still be able to use.

I'm on the "our walk with Jesus" metaphor train. It's totally consistent with everything Chad has posted before this.

[Odd1Out]

I suspect that they are waiting to be engaged because they don't want to be engaged long, so until they know the date, I think they'll hold off.

That's pretty common with many Christians, and I think typically even moreso with 'fundies,' as well as Mormons (though despite what they say, I know many wouldn't consider them - Mormons - Christians. In fact from some of the Mormon blogs I read, I'm FLOORED at how quickly most not only get engaged but also then how quickly they marry - but that's another story for another time. If you want some fascinating reading, Mormon sister missionary blogs take the cake!)

I also think besides that shorter engagements seem to often be the norm with Christians that Kelly's comments on her post the other day in reply to a question hinted at a reason particularly that could be the case with Chad and Erin - and that is that they had a different 'level' of physical touch that they had agreed upon (held out for?) once they got engaged.

She said they (C & E) are only doing very rare side hugs, once at their courtship 'celebration' and then also now if it had been awhile since they had seen one another.

Once C&E are engaged, they are going to do "real" hugs and also hand holding. More physical interaction, for them, seems to be of a different standard, and holding out for those things until they're engaged often means couples then want to get married quickly so as to prevent temptation to do more.

I guess the way I was looking at it was: getting engaged means you ask someone to marry you and they say "yes". If they already know they're getting married, and are planning dates, doesn't that pretty much equal being engaged? I'm just not sure what more being engaged means to them other than he buys a ring and puts it on her finger. So they are no longer courting to see if marriage is right for them, but not engaged. Wonder what level this is called? But I do agree they make a good couple and actually seem to like each other. I wish them the best!!

[singsingsing]

I'm in my mid-20s, so I have a lot of friends who have gotten engaged in the past few years. I don't know any of them who didn't know they were going to get married before they got engaged. Most people don't consider themselves engaged until it's 'official', much like many couples who have been living together for years and may even have children together don't consider themselves married until they actually have a ceremony and say vows.

[marmalade]

Well, Kelly did say that Chad and Erin get to have a full frontal hug when they officially get "engaged." so there's that. And the ring, of course.

Hey, the hug is more than most fundies get: a side hug upon engagement and sex seem to be the established "limits" for most of them who are allowed to touch.

[walnut]

I'd be pretty psyched if my fiance wanted to buy me shoes.

I always found it weird when a man pays too much attention to women's shoes, makeup, nails, hair. Unless it's part of their job. It's not only shallow, it's... weird. Creepy. Shoe, nail, hair fetish freaks me out. That scene pops in, from the X files when a serial killer recognized that the woman he was talking to, was wearing a shade of lipstick called Indian Summer... But with or w/o that scene people with fetishes freak me the hell out.

[oil]

I dont under stand why they focus on what kind of hug they do and when they allowed to do it. Does it mean they trying to spread the Christian beliefs so people will join it or be cause they have psyco-religious issue obsessing for sexuality? What do you think? I think its obsession. So much of their religion focus on "dont look, dont touch, dont think about sex, keep a partner with you so you dont G-d fobid hold hands etc."

[Dinaberries]

I always found it weird when a man pays too much attention to women's shoes, makeup, nails, hair. Unless it's part of their job. It's not only shallow, it's... weird. Creepy. Shoe, nail, hair fetish freaks me out. That scene pops in, from the X files when a serial killer recognized that the woman he was talking to, was wearing a shade of lipstick called Indian Summer... But with or w/o that scene people with fetishes freak me the hell out.

Just because he bought her shoes, doesn't mean he is creepily taking notice of the shoes she wears. My husband doesn't know anything about women's fashion or makeup, but he gifts me with things he sees me eyeing up. Those things are pretty much always girly things. I have a hunch that Erin is the same, so I just see it as him taking note of the things she likes and trying to get her a present that she will actually enjoy, as opposed to something generic that guys usually do when they have to idea what to get for their partner.

[Mela99]

Well, Kelly did say that Chad and Erin get to have a full frontal hug when they officially get "engaged." so there's that. And the ring, of course.

Hey, the hug is more than most fundies get: a side hug upon engagement and sex seem to be the established "limits" for most of them who are allowed to touch.

Funny that they think non-Gothardites turn everything gross and sex filled, but they can sexualize a hug to the 10th degree.

[bananacat]

I always found it weird when a man pays too much attention to women's shoes, makeup, nails, hair. Unless it's part of their job. It's not only shallow, it's... weird. Creepy. Shoe, nail, hair fetish freaks me out. That scene pops in, from the X files when a serial killer recognized that the woman he was talking to, was wearing a shade of lipstick called Indian Summer... But with or w/o that scene people with fetishes freak me the hell out.

I don't think it's creepy at all. Sometimes people don't fit into neat little boxes based on their gender, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them.

[Mama Mia]

I don't think it's creepy at all. Sometimes people don't fit into neat little boxes based on their gender, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them.

Also he might enjoy seeing the red nail polish but dislike the Blue. Or like the cfm pumps but dislike boots. Or dislike the crunchy perm so many here snark on ( or love the crunchy perm ). There's nothing wrong with preferences.

[walnut]

Fetishes have nothing to do with gender. Surprise, surprise. I still find it creepy. Do I have the right to find it creepy? Pretty please? JK, I find it creepy without anyone's permission.

[love2scrap]

I find it creepy that walnut is so hung up on creepy fetishes.

back on topic... I'm the sort of girl who wants my boyfriend to care about the fact that I love shoes... so plus points for Chad in the romance department.