Dillards 94: After Counting the Cost

[JermajestyDuggar]

I swear there’s a private school in my city that’s $25,000-30,000 a year. It’s insane to me that anyone could afford it. Of course only the top .001% can. That’s how america works.

[Father Son Holy Goat]

Philips Academy, a private Ivy Leagues feeder school in Andover Massachusetts costs $70,000 per year for tuition, room, and board. To their credit, they do meet 100% of financial needs but wow!

https://www.andover.edu/admission/tuition-and-financial-aid

[Kiki03910]

8 hours ago, Father Son Holy Goat said:

In my area (Boston) we have the super expensive Ivy League feeder schools and the cheaper church run ones. Given they live in a somewhat rural area I bet it’s cheaper.

I just looked up the prices for the private religious school I attended. It’s just under $6k for one kid, $10,775 for two kids, and $2,000 for each additional kid plus fees.  There are special rates for church members. This school is in a nice Chicago suburb, I bet the Dillards could swing something like this for their 2, soon to be 3 students. 
 

Ideally, I’d like to see Jill go back to school to be an obgyn nurse, if that is something she’d still like to do.

*waves at fellow New Englander*

To be clear, I'm a Maniac who decamped to New Mexico...

I just made Jill's butterscotch brownies again. This time I used Cuban rum instead of vanilla. Tastes like a delicious felony!

[Cam]

17 hours ago, Father Son Holy Goat said:

Ideally, I’d like to see Jill go back to school to be an obgyn nurse, if that is something she’d still like to do.

I get frustrated with this train of thought which many FJers seem to have. Imo, I don’t think the obgyn field is where Jill’s true interests lie. By that, I mean she got involved in the midwife thing while growing up simply because her world at that time was consumed with her mother’s endless pregnancies and deliveries. Jill was not exposed to hardly anything else. “Midwife” was a fundie-acceptable avenue for Jill to pursue. She pretty much had no other alternative. JB was not sending any daughters to college.

Fate stepped in, and Jill’s life has moved in other directions. She no longer has to make pregnancy and childbirth the epicenter of her ever lovin’ life. That was her mother’s world. It is not hers. Besides, I don’t know if she’d be disciplined enough to commit to a college class schedule or hold down a work schedule since she was raised on “Duggar time”. These Duggars don’t like adhering to anyone’s schedule but their own. 

Jill currently seems content to raise her boys. I think she’ll have at least one more baby. Once she’s done having kids and they’re all a certain age, I could see her becoming a licensed therapist and possibly working with victims at Derick’s law firm. She could be the type to go to college when her kids start going to college. At any rate, she now has more available options than when her life was controlled by her father. 

 

Edited December 20, 2023 by Cam

[noseybutt]

46 minutes ago, Cam said:

I get frustrated with this train of thought which many FJers seem to have. Imo, I don’t think the obgyn field is where Jill’s true interests lie. By that, I mean she got involved in the midwife thing while growing up simply because her world at that time was consumed with her mother’s endless pregnancies and deliveries. Jill was not exposed to hardly anything else. “Midwife” was a fundie-acceptable avenue for Jill to pursue. She pretty much had no other alternative. JB was not sending any daughters to college.

Fate stepped in, and Jill’s life has moved in other directions. She no longer has to make pregnancy and childbirth the epicenter of her ever lovin’ life. That was her mother’s world. It is not hers. Besides, I don’t know if she’d be disciplined enough to commit to a college class schedule or hold down a work schedule since she was raised on “Duggar time”. These Duggars don’t like adhering to anyone’s schedule but their own. 

Jill currently seems content to raise her boys. I think she’ll have at least one more baby. Once she’s done having kids and they’re all a certain age, I could see her becoming a licensed therapist and possibly working with victims at Derick’s law firm. She could be the type to go to college when her kids start going to college. At any rate, she now has more available options than when her life was controlled by her father. 

 

You probably know this but BSN would require 4 years of university, and to become a licensed master’s level therapist would be 4 years undergraduate, 2 years graduate, plus another 1-2 years for supervised work and licensing exam.

Edited December 20, 2023 by noseybutt

[Cam]

39 minutes ago, noseybutt said:

You probably know this but BSN would require 4 years of university, and to become a licensed master’s level therapist would be 4 years undergraduate, 2 years graduate, plus another 1-2 years for supervised work and licensing exam.

Yeah, I guess Jill going down that road is iffy. My niece did this, but not all at once. She worked ten years in a different field after getting her bachelor’s, then went on to pursue a career as a therapist by getting her graduate degree, did supervised work and eventually got her license. She is very goal oriented and excelled academically. Plus her twin is an M.D., so I think there was some healthy competition there. Would Jill have it in her to put in the work? Possibly, yeah, but Magic 8-Ball says “looks doubtful”, especially since Jill’s minimum childhood education would be a hindrance. Honestly, she already knows TV, so another reality show in her future wouldn’t surprise me and hey, no degree necessary. 

[FiveAcres]

1 hour ago, Cam said:

I get frustrated with this train of thought which many FJers seem to have. Imo, I don’t think the obgyn field is where Jill’s true interests lie. By that, I mean she got involved in the midwife thing while growing up simply because her world at that time was consumed with her mother’s endless pregnancies and deliveries. Jill was not exposed to hardly anything else. “Midwife” was a fundie-acceptable avenue for Jill to pursue. She pretty much had no other alternative. JB was not sending any daughters to college.

 

I get frustrated as well.

The whole "Jill is interested in midwifery" is an attempt of the TLC producers to hide the fact that the Duggar TV series was about normalizing the trafficking of young, ill-educated women to become white Christian Dominionist brood mares.

[noseybutt]

8 minutes ago, FiveAcres said:

I get frustrated as well.

The whole "Jill is interested in midwifery" is an attempt of the TLC producers to hide the fact that the Duggar TV series was about normalizing the trafficking of young, ill-educated women to become white Christian Dominionist brood mares.

Jill working in trauma treatment feels similarly off. Not because we are exploiting her like TLC. But because the point of trauma treatment is to open the world to people, and that may involve paths that have nothing to do with trauma.

To phrase it differently, someone goes through a traumatic but successful cancer treatment. They do NOT owe the world a cure for cancer or to work in the cancer field in any way shape or form.

Unless they wish.

 

10 minutes ago, Cam said:

Yeah, I guess Jill going down that road is iffy. My niece did this, but not all at once. She worked ten years in a different field after getting her bachelor’s, then went on to pursue a career as a therapist by getting her graduate degree, did supervised work and eventually got her license. She is very goal oriented and excelled academically. Plus her twin is an M.D., so I think there was some healthy competition there. Would Jill have it in her to put in the work? Possibly, yeah, but Magic 8-Ball says “looks doubtful”, especially since Jill’s minimum childhood education would be a hindrance. Honestly, she already knows TV, so another reality show in her future wouldn’t surprise me and hey, no degree necessary. 

See, I think the older girls are routinely underestimated. They have a strong work ethic--they have been working their entire lives. She has already, essentially, raised a family. She knows how to get things done. 

If she wants to become a therapist, she could do it.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I actually would be interested to know what Jill is into. I know she likes gardening. She likes staying home with her boys. Maybe she’s still figuring out what else she likes. I don’t work. But I love volunteering at my children’s school. Maybe Jill would enjoy that too. Or maybe she would enjoy being in the PTO. Who knows. I hope she feels like she has the time and energy to figure it out.

Edited December 20, 2023 by JermajestyDuggar

[Maggie Mae]

On 12/19/2023 at 2:21 PM, noseybutt said:

Where would these nice, accredited schools be located???? They are in small town Arkansas/Oklahoma. I would be shocked if there was a decent private school within commuting distance.

I don't know where in AR they are located but my subpar research only shows 30ish private schools total in AR, and I think they are all religious. None appear to be very expensive as far as private schools go. The New School in NWA is 11K a year, but it appears to be the lone secular school on the list I found. Also one of the more expensive options. 

For those asking "how does anyone afford it?" 37.5% of American households make more than 110K/year. There's usually a break on the second child in the same school. A lot of US Private schools are Catholic and have support from parishes, scholarships, and the high tuition factors in the kids who have families that can't pay. And those are the school that cost between 7K and 15K; not all private schools are the $69,000 college prep boarding/day schools. 

[justoneoftwo]

I send my kids to a school who's tuition is 22000 per kid for elementary. We have 2. How do we afford it? Most families get financial aid and we paid a total of 6000 this year.  Extras are not always included but some are.  People who ask how we afford it or say they can't do so assume they wouldn't qualify but they would. Most kids could, you just have to ask and more than half the families get help

[HeartsAFundie]

3 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

I don't know where in AR they are located but my subpar research only shows 30ish private schools total in AR, and I think they are all religious. None appear to be very expensive as far as private schools go. The New School in NWA is 11K a year, but it appears to be the lone secular school on the list I found. Also one of the more expensive options. 

For those asking "how does anyone afford it?" 37.5% of American households make more than 110K/year. There's usually a break on the second child in the same school. A lot of US Private schools are Catholic and have support from parishes, scholarships, and the high tuition factors in the kids who have families that can't pay. And those are the school that cost between 7K and 15K; not all private schools are the $69,000 college prep boarding/day schools. 

When my son was in eighth grade and about to enter high school, our parish priest at the time approached us with an offer.  Apparently, some churches in our diocese would commit to paying 25% of the tuition to send a parishioner's child for the local Catholic high school.  If the church committed to paying the 25%-and our church at the time did- the diocese would subsidize 25% and the high school would write off 25%, leaving the remaining 25% as the family's only financial responsibility. This was good for the entire four years of high school.  Since our son was planning to attend the Catholic high school anyway, we accepted the subsidy offer.  However, to keep the scholarship, my son had to continue being an altar server throughout his entire four years of high school and also assist in the Religious Education program or in the parish secretary's office.   We all agreed to this.    It was a huge help to us.  The tuition at the time was $8800/year and we were only responsible for $2200/year.   And this plan was not contingent on family finances; it was solely based on who the church felt like giving it to.  

[Father Son Holy Goat]

Pickings are slim for private schools in Siloam Springs. There’s Sager Classical Academy that asserts, “accreditation means little at the grammar school stage” and is “evaluating the merits of aligning ourselves with an accrediting organization that matches our portrait of a graduate for our upper school (https://sageracademy.com/faq/, click Are you accredited? for the quotes), Community Christian School which looks like a home school room and only meets 4 days a week but at least they are accredited (https://ccs-siloam.com/), Sunshine Montessori (http://sunshinemontessori.blogspot.com/) which I could find very little information about.
 

There is a good one in Gentry, which is one town over. (https://www.ozarkschool.org/). If I was looking for a private school and in Jill’s shoes this is the one I’d pick. 

Edited December 22, 2023 by Father Son Holy Goat

[Maggie Mae]

Sagar Classical Academy looks so weird. Like they want to be a classic private school in a place that has ivy on the wall and kids in uniforms learning Latin and playing rugby, but also wants to be a science denying homeschool program with socialization.  I guess it's where the wealthier fundies go. 

I'd send my kids to a boarding school if I was stuck in Siloam Springs. 

[Father Son Holy Goat]

2 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

Sagar Classical Academy looks so weird. Like they want to be a classic private school in a place that has ivy on the wall and kids in uniforms learning Latin and playing rugby, but also wants to be a science denying homeschool program with socialization.  I guess it's where the wealthier fundies go. 

I'd send my kids to a boarding school if I was stuck in Siloam Springs. 

Sagar really does look weird. It’s like those memes of creative work on a budget, “give me a fancy east coast school vibes but with with fundamentalism”. 

[Coconut Flan]

The Montessori school only goes through 3rd grade which is not unusual at all.  Granddaughter's only went through K.

[Kiki03910]

Speaking of midwives, I'm reading an absolutely fantastic history of a late 18th-century midwife's records. I can not recommend this book more highly.

https://www.kobo.com/us/en/search?query=A Midwife's Tale (Laurel Thatcher Ulrich)&ac=1&acp=a midwife's tale&ac.title=A Midwife's Tale&ac.author=Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

[Maggie Mae]

2 hours ago, Coconut Flan said:

The Montessori school only goes through 3rd grade which is not unusual at all.  Granddaughter's only went through K.

My neighbor/friend/whatever in high school went through 12. Even now my old city has K-12 Montessori programs even though people are begging for separate high school and preschool programs. IDK i never knew it was supposed to be for little kids only. 

The big thing in my current area seems to be those Waldorf schools. Also you have to say in in a specific voice, "my child goes to the Waldorf school" as though somehow every other school is just a bunch of kids kicking rocks instead of eating mayo on apples or whatever it is they do there 

[JermajestyDuggar]

If you do your research, you’ll find that the guy who invented Waldorf schools had extremely weird beliefs. And you’ll see some of those beliefs woven into the Waldorf schools today. He also had racist beliefs. But they claim they left those racist beliefs behind. But it still gives people pause. 
 

https://www.bbc.com/news/education-28646118.amp

[Cam]

6 hours ago, Kiki03910 said:

Speaking of midwives, I'm reading an absolutely fantastic history of a late 18th-century midwife's records. I can not recommend this book more highly.

https://www.kobo.com/us/en/search?query=A Midwife's Tale (Laurel Thatcher Ulrich)&ac=1&acp=a midwife's tale&ac.title=A Midwife's Tale&ac.author=Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Thanks for the recommendation! I was able to place a hold on it at the library. The description says it’s a Pulitzer Prize winner! 
 

I read the “Call the Midwife” series, three books written by Jennifer Worth, a midwife in the 1950s. She had kept diaries of her time as a midwife. Fascinating. The PBS series of the same name is based on these books, altho it veered off creatively at some point. Still a good show; I watched it for several seasons. 

[marmalade]

A new season of Call the Midwife starts on Christmas! 

[Father Son Holy Goat]

I just got caught up with last season. Love me some Call the Midwife.

[fluffernutter]

Midwife books! One of my favorite things. Patricia Harman wrote The Blue Cotton Gown, which is her story, then several fictional books. She is out of Morgantown, WV and my daughter met and interviewed her and wrote an article about her when she was doing her minor in gender studies. Baby Catcher by Peggy Vincent is also a good one, and A Midwife's Story by Penny Armstrong is about a midwife whose clients were predominantly Amish. I used to be a doula and dreamed of becoming a midwife but the itch came when I was raising my kids, and the massive schooling just didn't fit into our lives. But I do love reading books and love Call the Midwife. Thanks for the book recommendation! It's in my Amazon cart now! 

[Letgo]

On 12/21/2023 at 11:24 PM, Kiki03910 said:

Speaking of midwives, I'm reading an absolutely fantastic history of a late 18th-century midwife's records. I can not recommend this book more highly.

I read that book several years ago. I agree, it was a great book. Pretty amazing that she had such successful deliveries back then. 

[klein_roeschen]

On 12/22/2023 at 2:12 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

If you do your research, you’ll find that the guy who invented Waldorf schools had extremely weird beliefs. And you’ll see some of those beliefs woven into the Waldorf schools today. He also had racist beliefs. But they claim they left those racist beliefs behind. But it still gives people pause. 
 

https://www.bbc.com/news/education-28646118.amp

The concept behind Waldorf schools is called anthroposophy and was develped by Rudolf Steiner, the founder of the original Waldorf school. The whole concept is deeply rooted in antiscience and a big player in the antivaxx movement and in "alternative" medicine here in Germany. For example, for antroposophists a child has to get the childhood illnesses like measels so their soul can develop further and if the child dies of said illness, their soul wasn't ready for it and will be re- born and vaccinating the child against these illnesses takes away the needed development. They also have developed their own branch of homeopathic remedies where they combined their beliefs about "natural" remedies and what to use with the homeopathic concept of diluting it into oblivion to enhence the effect. The biggest companies selling antroposophic remedies and cosmetics are Weleda and Wala (sorry, only german). I don't need to tell that both companies make a very good profit. The racist ideas woven into that freak concept is only the the cherry on the icing. We even have an antroposophic university here in Germany, Witten Herdecke , with the only private med school of the country, that includes antroposophic "medical" concepts in their curriculum. Waldorf school are really popular within a subset of the more educated and well off but also woo liking population. How closely a school follows the concept is not always easy to spot as an outsider, because every school is independed from another and it depends on the people running that school. And while they have to follow the rules for german private schools, the quality of the education the students recieve is also depending of the stuff running said school and can vary widely from good to not really good.   And as an example for scandals from the 2 Waldorf schools nearest to where I live: school no one had a teacher slapping his students and the school only did something against it and fired said teachers after some parents forced the school to do it. And not all parents of the slapped students, some of them where even ok with it. And school no two got e-mails leaked with the topic of non- white students and that they will refuse any application for said non- white students. While they where advertising themselfes as open and anti- racist. And this school was also the center and starting point for a small measels outbreak a few years ago.

So off my soapbox and back to lurking.