Bontragers/Bowers/Helferichs 12

[SwimmerBoy29]

Just now, JermajestyDuggar said:

It’s the only way! And this was on Instagram stories. So it was only 24 hours. Things are easily missed due to instagram stories being only 24 hours. I find it annoying that I have to look at these peoples instagrams all the time. You have to wade through SO MUCH crap. 

That’s exactly why I appreciate you guys so much! I refuse to look them up on mine because  then they’re all just going to pop up on my feed. I went to look at Carver Bower’s IG on Safari because you know he’ll post about Family Camp and half the pictures were blocked off lol.

[FiveAcres]

14 hours ago, SwimmerBoy29 said:

That’s exactly why I appreciate you guys so much! I refuse to look them up on mine because  then they’re all just going to pop up on my feed. I went to look at Carver Bower’s IG on Safari because you know he’ll post about Family Camp and half the pictures were blocked off lol.

That's why I try to avoid going to the source on my regular accounts. And I am not invested enough to go to the trouble to set up an alternate id just to follow weirdos online.

[SwimmerBoy29]

50 minutes ago, FiveAcres said:

That's why I try to avoid going to the source on my regular accounts. And I am not invested enough to go to the trouble to set up an alternate id just to follow weirdos online.

Right on.

The imaginative side of me supposes you could probably like, easily generate a whole slew of AI fundie family pictures to throw up there, but even then it’s not as simple as that lol.

Shame that I deleted my finsta. That’s about the only thing I might use it for.

[Jigsaw3]

Alison and her husband decided that the appropriate Christmas gift for a toddler boy is a toy pistol. It's front and centre in all her Instagram Christmas pictures.

I know they're massive pro-gun people, but it's still infuriating and saddening to see this. No child needs a toy firearm. It's indoctrination, pure and simple.

[HereticHick]

12 hours ago, Jigsaw3 said:

Alison and her husband decided that the appropriate Christmas gift for a toddler boy is a toy pistol. It's front and centre in all her Instagram Christmas pictures.

I know they're massive pro-gun people, but it's still infuriating and saddening to see this. No child needs a toy firearm. It's indoctrination, pure and simple.

Exactly. Christmas gifting to own the Libs.  Although I know that the Bontragers do like hunting, no 3 year old needs a toy pistol. His dad and uncles work in the excavation/construction industry--couldn't he get some toy construction vehicles instead? It would be just as "manly"

[SwimmerBoy29]

4 hours ago, HereticHick said:

Exactly. Christmas gifting to own the Libs.  Although I know that the Bontragers do like hunting, no 3 year old needs a toy pistol. His dad and uncles work in the excavation/construction industry--couldn't he get some toy construction vehicles instead? It would be just as "manly"

Bontrager family Christmas be like:

 

[usmcmom]

Allison has shared some really nice thoughts on Instagram, talking about her struggle with disordered eating. I am really impressed with her openness about this. I remember, during her engagement, thinking she looked so very thin.  
 

I worry that in fundie households, where thin equates to good, so many women struggle with these things and cannot find any support. 

[Caroline]

On 1/2/2024 at 8:54 AM, HereticHick said:

His dad and uncles work in the excavation/construction industry--couldn't he get some toy construction vehicles instead? It would be just as "manly"

I have some friends who just built a new house. The husband is a civil engineer so he did a lot of work clearing the land, diverting a creek, etc. They actually bought an excavator and other tractor-like things and saved a lot of money doing the work themselves. They are now in the process of selling the equipment, but their little girl who is 18 months old is quite attached to the big trucks, and the excavator in particular. For Christmas we gave her a baby puzzle (the wooden kind with the little knobs and pictures to help place the pieces on the board) of tractors and other heavy equipment. Her parents (her father in particular) were thrilled!  The Bontragers would die - a little girl who likes big trucks

[usmcmom]

I’ve given this toy twice - once to a little girl who shares a birthday with my grandson. This was on their first birthday. Her parents were thrilled because they were hoping she could have toy cars as well as dolls, etc. I gave my grandson the primary colored one. So, I guess I fell into gender stereotypes with the colors but I could not resist the pastels. 
 

The second time I gave it was to a little girl who had just turned two. It was a Christmas gift and her big brother later told his mommy he hoped Santa brought him a truck like hers. I had to send Santa the link.  

[DJ1234]

19 hours ago, usmcmom said:

Allison has shared some really nice thoughts on Instagram, talking about her struggle with disordered eating. I am really impressed with her openness about this. I remember, during her engagement, thinking she looked so very thin.  
 

I worry that in fundie households, where thin equates to good, so many women struggle with these things and cannot find any support. 

I just came here to post the same thing. Kudos to her for critiquing the societal pressure for women to be thin rather than healthy.

[CaptainFunderpants]

On 1/3/2024 at 3:26 PM, usmcmom said:

I’ve given this toy twice - once to a little girl who shares a birthday with my grandson. This was on their first birthday. Her parents were thrilled because they were hoping she could have toy cars as well as dolls, etc. I gave my grandson the primary colored one. So, I guess I fell into gender stereotypes with the colors but I could not resist the pastels. 
 

The second time I gave it was to a little girl who had just turned two. It was a Christmas gift and her big brother later told his mommy he hoped Santa brought him a truck like hers. I had to send Santa the link.  

As a pink and purple girlie with an engineering degree... I freaking love these.

Arguably as important as it is to stress that girls can play with trucks, it's also important to stress that playing with trucks doesn't mean they can't also love ballet. And same for the boys, for that matter; ballet and construction are a great combo! Core strength benefits everyone 💪🏻

[JermajestyDuggar]

Look at Allison’s hashtags. I guess she is jumping on the tradwife trend to get views and likes. How pathetic but completely unsurprising. She’s gotta make that mlm money. 

Edited January 10 by JermajestyDuggar

[Giraffe]

Allison could benefit from a real midwife or a gynecologist. Several times she's posted things that make me think she has brutal periods or pms that could benefit from intervention. But she seems completely unaware and posts as though everyone with a uterus becomes non-functional one week out of each month. 

Edited January 10 by Giraffe

[JermajestyDuggar]

9 minutes ago, Giraffe said:

Allison could benefit from a real midwife or a gynecologist. Several times she's posted things that make me think she has brutal periods or pms that could benefit from intervention. But she seems completely unaware and posts as though everyone with a uterus becomes non-functional one week out of each month. 

After I had my kids, my periods went berserk. Like way way worse than before I had kids. The best thing I did was get the Mirena. I’m not going to list all the problems I had from my cycle. It wasn’t just heavy painful periods. But getting the Mirena and getting rid of my cycle fixed quite a few issues. Sure there are a couple of side effects like some acne. But that’s nothing compared to the problems that were fixed. Of course she wouldn’t get any sort of birth control. So that may be why she won’t see a doctor about it. 

I will also say this: she might be using her period as an excuse. And I’m not trying to be a sexist asshole. Periods can suck so bad. But Allison was raising in Amish culture. Where they are expected to work work work all the damn time. And being lazy is a major moral failing. I wouldn’t blame her a bit if she used it as an excuse to get a fucking break. She has 2 young kids and she’s expected to be a wife and mom 24/7. A 9-5 job where she got to come home and put her feet up with food cooked for her like her husband would be easier than a full time SAHM fundie. She can poo poo the idea of a 9-5 but she works 24/7. She’s just allowing herself a break when she gets her period. Which is just sad. 

[Caroline]

17 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

After I had my kids, my periods went berserk. Like way way worse than before I had kids.

I had the exact opposite experience. I had had miserable periods from the beginning (always could set my watch by them, but bad cramps). After my baby was born I had a much easier time - shorter duration and definitely less bleeding. So weird.

I also never got another cold sore again, and I had been the queen of cold sores. Bodies are so strange. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

So I feel like maybe I should share my more personal issues dealing with my period since it could actually help someone if they are dealing with the same thing. So yes, first and foremost, my periods were heavier and more painful after kids. That’s a given. But the other things that went along with having a cycle are much less common problems I think others might relate to. And one is hemorrhoids. I never had them until I pushed my first kid out for 90 minutes straight. I’m sure you all think, what does having your cycle have to do with hemorrhoids. But here’s the thing. Certain times of my cycle gave me bathroom troubles! So at some points I would have diarrhea and some points in my cycle I would be constipated! So of course that caused issues with hemorrhoids! Guess who hasn’t had issues since my cycle has been gone completely! I’m very pleased I don’t have to deal with that anymore. I also have dealt with something called HS. I’m not writing the whole thing out. But it’s like infected hair follicles that get very painful and swollen. I have scars on the inside of my legs from HS. I noticed that when I was pregnant, my HS totally went away! I was shocked. But after I had my kids, the infected cysts came back. Now that I have no cycle, my HS is gone again. It’s great! It must’ve been hormone related. That’s my only guess. And then on top of all this, I got very very tired during my period. And I think that’s because of the blood loss. I’ve gone through times of having low iron. So it’s unsurprising that a very heavy blood loss during my period would make me so tired. Since I don’t have a period, I don’t get super tired every month. I also had mood swings common with PMS. I hated those mood swings. 
 

I want to also say that I have a fat phobic doctor who seems to blame my problems on being fat. So I never bothered to tell him about most of my health problems that aren’t severe enough. I just dealt with those things on my own for years. Because I knew he would just tell me to lose weight to fix my problems with HS, hemorrhoids, and fatigue. Because that’s what he did when I looked to him to help me with my heartburn. Lose weight. Gee thanks! I went to a different doctor and he actually prescribed me something that helped. But I’m glad I talked to my NP and she recommended the Mirena. Because she didn’t blame all my problems on being fat and actually recommended something other than lose weight. 

[GuineaPigCourtship]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Because that’s what he did when I looked to him to help me with my heartburn. Lose weight.

I have (pretty controlled) GERD that was just awful for a long time.  I had grade D ulcers in a significant portion of my esophagus when I finally sought help and I remember the gasteroenterologist who scoped me talking about it when I was in recovery from the procedure and I, very disheartened, said, "so it would all go away if I lost weight, right?"  and he just said, "I mean maybe it would get better but that's not a realistic thing to tell you so how about we actually help you."  I almost fell out of bed.  Still really grateful he didn't discount my experience because of my weight.

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 minutes ago, GuineaPigCourtship said:

I have (pretty controlled) GERD that was just awful for a long time.  I had grade D ulcers in a significant portion of my esophagus when I finally sought help and I remember the gasteroenterologist who scoped me talking about it when I was in recovery from the procedure and I, very disheartened, said, "so it would all go away if I lost weight, right?"  and he just said, "I mean maybe it would get better but that's not a realistic thing to tell you so how about we actually help you."  I almost fell out of bed.  Still really grateful he didn't discount my experience because of my weight.

I actually did lose weight. Like 35lbs maybe? And the heartburn still didn’t go away. I told the doctor that and he said “lose more weight.” I was like, wtf? And I went to a gastro doctor who actually helped me. 

[Zebedee]

WTF does having time for the nurturing aspect of your femininity mean? Apart from doing all the domestic labour and looking pretty for your husband? Do 9-5 jobs magically not eat into men’s time for the manly aspects of their masculinity? Oh, of course not, fundie men get to come home and getvtheir asses wiped and their toenails clipped by their femininely nurturing feminine female ladylike wives.

Also, this 9-5 thing being bad for women because of periods is something Lori has been wanking on about recently (again). I really don’t want to diminish the problems lots of women have, because they are terrible, and will only get better when doctors start listening and taking it seriously. And I don’t want to defend the 9-5 5 days a week treadmill. But…

I have a friend from school, for instance. She finally got a hysterectomy a few years ago, just after she turned 40. She never wanted children, and she had awful endo for decades. Which she hid, even at our girls’ school. She went to Cambridge, did Classics, and became a barrister. She had to give up practising, it was that bad. No one listened, and they left her in pain for years, because it wasn’t that bad, she might want children, she was being dramatic, that’s just what women have to accept, etc etc. She now teaches trainee barristers, so no, her education wasn’t wasted, Lori. But she has lost her dream, and years of her life. 

OTOH, I hate this narrative that all women, everywhere, always, are utterly impaired 25% of the time. This all smacks of women not being capable of normal jobs and independence because we are too fragile and flaky, and being dewigned for housework and MLMs, not anything to do with actual concern for women’s health and well being  and its improvement. Just another way to legitimise discrimination against women, without helping them at all. I have several female friends who are practicing barristers, a lot more who are doctors and surgeons, and a bunch of academic researchers too, as well as a few in very physical jobs. Some of them do complain about periods, but they are perfectly managable. Some of them are like me, and got lucky, and barely notice. Some of them got good medical care, or, you know, went on  birth control/sterilised/husbands gor the snip, since they weren’t ever expected to be permanently trying to get pregnant.
While I know periods can be debilitating for some women, I would appreciate it if certain people with their not very hidden agendas would stop speaking for all of us, but would STFU, unless they are trying to improve circumstances and medical care for women. And being roped into an MLM, being a permanently pregnant joyfully available domestic servant with no independence does not count.
Sorry, fundies are really pissing me off today. All of them.

 

 

 

[theotherelise]

My kid and I were both sick last week. I had to work hard to stay awake for longer than two hours at a time. My kid was bouncing off the walls, getting his snot on every surface while simultaneously playing astronaut and bear hunt and buzz lightyear. Love this pastoral vision of slowing down home life when you're feeling under the weather. HMU when you have a 3 year old, Allison!

Now, all the tradwife nonsense aside, I'm currently fighting a menstrual migraine while trying to get work done and this is for the birds. 

[GuineaPigCourtship]

When we're sick, my toddler likes to tell us we're feeling better and can play with her.  She's a hoot but definitely not keen on slowing down for anything.

[JermajestyDuggar]

40 minutes ago, GuineaPigCourtship said:

When we're sick, my toddler likes to tell us we're feeling better and can play with her.  She's a hoot but definitely not keen on slowing down for anything.

When my kids were little, I remember when they were sick, the first couple of days they would be tired. And they would actually rest a bit. Like just laying on the couch watching cartoons. But after 2 days they would get their energy back but still be sick. So there was hell to pay. Meaning they had enough energy to constantly complain and whine about being sick. And that usually lasted at least 3 days. Their feeling better was actually more annoying 😂

[AverageGiraffe]

On 1/9/2024 at 7:48 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

After I had my kids, my periods went berserk. Like way way worse than before I had kids. The best thing I did was get the Mirena. I’m not going to list all the problems I had from my cycle. It wasn’t just heavy painful periods. But getting the Mirena and getting rid of my cycle fixed quite a few issues. Sure there are a couple of side effects like some acne. But that’s nothing compared to the problems that were fixed. Of course she wouldn’t get any sort of birth control. So that may be why she won’t see a doctor about it. 

I will also say this: she might be using her period as an excuse. And I’m not trying to be a sexist asshole. Periods can suck so bad. But Allison was raising in Amish culture. Where they are expected to work work work all the damn time. And being lazy is a major moral failing. I wouldn’t blame her a bit if she used it as an excuse to get a fucking break. She has 2 young kids and she’s expected to be a wife and mom 24/7. A 9-5 job where she got to come home and put her feet up with food cooked for her like her husband would be easier than a full time SAHM fundie. She can poo poo the idea of a 9-5 but she works 24/7. She’s just allowing herself a break when she gets her period. Which is just sad. 

The part I bolded is absolutely why I think she won't go to a doctor and, frankly, I don't blame her. Women are ignored by their doctors, and it's hard to find one that will listen and help in a way that works for you. Allison doesn't want to be on birth control. I don't especially think she's making wise choices and I definitely disagree with her "why" behind it, but she is entitled to her bodily autonomy. I think she's not wrong in thinking that a doctor might push for birth control to solve her problems and not be willing to explore other avenues or even have a discussion about it. Maybe she's even had a dismissive doctor before. IDK, I guess I can just relate to the idea of "I'm not going to a doctor because they're just going to tell me X even though (I don't want to do that, that didn't work when I tried it before, whatever the reason) and no one ever listens and wants to really help". 

[JermajestyDuggar]

59 minutes ago, AverageGiraffe said:

The part I bolded is absolutely why I think she won't go to a doctor and, frankly, I don't blame her. Women are ignored by their doctors, and it's hard to find one that will listen and help in a way that works for you. Allison doesn't want to be on birth control. I don't especially think she's making wise choices and I definitely disagree with her "why" behind it, but she is entitled to her bodily autonomy. I think she's not wrong in thinking that a doctor might push for birth control to solve her problems and not be willing to explore other avenues or even have a discussion about it. Maybe she's even had a dismissive doctor before. IDK, I guess I can just relate to the idea of "I'm not going to a doctor because they're just going to tell me X even though (I don't want to do that, that didn't work when I tried it before, whatever the reason) and no one ever listens and wants to really help". 

I have close relative who is a women's NP. So that’s who I would recommend Allison go to. I feel like women’s care NPs actually listen to their patients more. And are much less dismissive. But of course a type of bc would still be recommended by a NP. So she would still not go. Which just makes me sad. 

[JillyO]

On 1/11/2024 at 2:18 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

When my kids were little, I remember when they were sick, the first couple of days they would be tired. And they would actually rest a bit. Like just laying on the couch watching cartoons. But after 2 days they would get their energy back but still be sick. So there was hell to pay. Meaning they had enough energy to constantly complain and whine about being sick. And that usually lasted at least 3 days. Their feeling better was actually more annoying 😂

Saw this on Instagram and it was just too fitting (and too true) not to post it here:

Edited January 14 by JillyO