Bontragers/Bowers/Helferichs 12

[JermajestyDuggar]

11 minutes ago, JillyO said:

Saw this on Instagram and it was just too fitting (and too true) not to post it here:

I keep my mouth shut tight when they are sick so they tend to sneeze directly into my eyeballs. But other than that, this is correct. 

[GuineaPigCourtship]

I avoid my daughter kissing me on the mouth when she is in her plague rat era.  She has >3 times puked on my face while I was asleep but I have managed to avoid all her stomach bugs so far with a rigid biosecurity otherwise (disinfecting my face while husband tends to her).

[JermajestyDuggar]

I think the Bontragers are taking two young men with them on this next tour. One of them is definitely a Bowers. It’s not Charlie, Christian, or Carver. Maybe Crockett? I get the three youngest Bowers boys mixed up. And then another young man that reminds me of the Stangls but I don’t think he’s a Stangl. He doesn’t look like a Bowers. I guess we will figure it out soon enough. 

Edited January 17 by JermajestyDuggar

[NoseyNellie]

@JermajestyDuggar I am so sorry to hear all you went through.. I get it!  I had a  sickly rail thin family practice Dr who was covering for my primary tell me wayyyy back when I was 19/20? that the problems with my back would go away if I just lost weight.. WTH?  I would KILL to be that small these days.. I actually wrote a letter to my primary Dr complaining about how horrible that lady was.. 2 visits to a chiropractor helped my issues to alleviate.. 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

33 minutes ago, NoseyNellie said:

@JermajestyDuggar I am so sorry to hear all you went through.. I get it!  I had a  sickly rail thin family practice Dr who was covering for my primary tell me wayyyy back when I was 19/20? that the problems with my back would go away if I just lost weight.. WTH?  I would KILL to be that small these days.. I actually wrote a letter to my primary Dr complaining about how horrible that lady was.. 2 visits to a chiropractor helped my issues to alleviate.. 

 

I went to the foot doctor and I was so relieved he didn’t tell me to lose weight to fix my plantar facetious. And he said it can happen to anyone. 

[thoughtful]

59 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I went to the foot doctor and I was so relieved he didn’t tell me to lose weight to fix my plantar facetious. And he said it can happen to anyone. 

I'm glad to hear it. I also think the bolded (bolding mine) may be one of the best "damn you, auto-correct!" examples I have ever seen.

I'm now imagining the bottom of my feet making jokes, snickering at the way I walk, singing parodies of I'm Walkin' and Walk Like a Man . . .

I don't even usually follow this thread - I just saw it in my unread content tab, and couldn't resist!

[JermajestyDuggar]

Allison really needs to take the time to reread her entire blog. Because there was a time when it was extremely obvious to everyone on FJ that Allison did not live being single. When 4 of her siblings married and moved out in a span of 4 months, she was miserable. And her mood didn’t pick up much until she was courting. She is revising the past to fit her present. I remember sort of feeling sorry for her because she didn’t want to go on the road to sing and she obviously wanted a boyfriend. So much so that she pretended her brothers were her boyfriends. She seemed to really enjoy working at the Inn and spending time with her friends. But other than that, she seemed so unhappy. The Bontragers seem to ooze toxic positivity. No one can ever admit they were miserable. Even Chelsy tries to put a positive spin on some really shitty health stuff she’s dealt with. And now Allison likely puts a positive spin on her marriage because she talks about it like it’s perfect. When that can’t be the case. No marriage is perfect. 

[Giraffe]

13 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Allison really needs to take the time to reread her entire blog. Because there was a time when it was extremely obvious to everyone on FJ that Allison did not live being single. When 4 of her siblings married and moved out in a span of 4 months, she was miserable. And her mood didn’t pick up much until she was courting. She is revising the past to fit her present. I remember sort of feeling sorry for her because she didn’t want to go on the road to sing and she obviously wanted a boyfriend. So much so that she pretended her brothers were her boyfriends. She seemed to really enjoy working at the Inn and spending time with her friends. But other than that, she seemed so unhappy. The Bontragers seem to ooze toxic positivity. No one can ever admit they were miserable. Even Chelsy tries to put a positive spin on some really shitty health stuff she’s dealt with. And now Allison likely puts a positive spin on her marriage because she talks about it like it’s perfect. When that can’t be the case. No marriage is perfect. 

Wow, talk about the grass is always greener! She's not even pretending there were even moments it was difficult let alone months upon months! I hope she gets professional help sooner rather than later. Her delusional positivity is along the lines of Bethy's - and Dav himself admitted some of their "happiest couple!!" posts were at their absolute worst. 

[Caroline]

Haha,Allison! I had a fundie friend when I was single and she was married to a creep who was also fundie  and cheating on her. She had two young children and she did everything. She told me at the time how jealous she was of me: I was single, had a career I loved, and had just bought my first house. My time was my own and I was definitely having more fun than she was. She regretted marrying without experiencing life on her own. Her husband died in a freak accident, she married another fundie guy from her church and was a little happier. She died too young of cancer. I couldn't stand the second husband and lost touch with him after she died. He moved to Florida and became a superfundie. They were an anomaly here in godless new England. They were having problems at a certain point and her sister has told me she was thInking of divorcing him. I think she was in the beginning stages of deconstructing her beliefs before she got sick😥

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I find this so repulsive because 1) bethany first posted it, and 2) because I know how these fundies were raised. These families most definitely didn’t put their children first. Ever. There are so many examples of the parents putting themselves, money, their religious doctrine, their ministry, and work first before even considering their kids. It just feels like these fundies are looking for a way to feel better about neglecting their kids. 

[browngrl]

Bethany does not seem to like her son or husband and barely tolerates homemaking activities. Maybe that's the problem, not putting children at the "centre of the home".

[JermajestyDuggar]

20 minutes ago, browngrl said:

Bethany does not seem to like her son or husband and barely tolerates homemaking activities. Maybe that's the problem, not putting children at the "centre of the home".

Bethany puts a ton of the childcare on Dave. He gets the kids up and feeds them breakfast every morning so she can sleep in. Then he puts them to bed every night too. It’s one of the few fundie homes where the parenting isn’t all on the wife. I hope Dave gets a secret vasectomy. 

[theotherelise]

It’s another example of the harsh, black and white perspective of evangelical Christianity. Like, if my kid is throwing up or needs help wiping his butt and I stop talking to my husband to help the kid, am I putting him at the center of our home instead of prioritizing my husband? My husband and I have never let our kid sleep in bed with us, but we do spend 30 minutes every night both reading him a book, each making up an original Thomas the train story and also singing 3 songs with many original verses. Does that mean we are putting the kid at the center of things or the marriage? Or is life not actually about performing a contrived structure in all relationships? 

[FiveAcres]

8 hours ago, theotherelise said:

It’s another example of the harsh, black and white perspective of evangelical Christianity. Like, if my kid is throwing up or needs help wiping his butt and I stop talking to my husband to help the kid, am I putting him at the center of our home instead of prioritizing my husband? My husband and I have never let our kid sleep in bed with us, but we do spend 30 minutes every night both reading him a book, each making up an original Thomas the train story and also singing 3 songs with many original verses. Does that mean we are putting the kid at the center of things or the marriage? Or is life not actually about performing a contrived structure in all relationships? 

I love that you child gets his own Thomas the train story every night.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I’ll be honest here. My kids are often the center of our home. Especially when we had a newborn and a toddler. It was all them all the time. But now that they are older, it’s not as much anymore. But my husband and I have talked about it openly. We know it’s just a stage. We know things change and we are committed to be in this together. Even if there are times where our kids are most definitely the center of our attention and home. That’s what marriage has always been about for us. Adapting to the changes together. And doing the best we can for our kids, marriage, and home. And sometimes that is focusing totally on the kids for awhile. Because they need it.

I need to add, it reminds me of a family member who dealt with their toddler being diagnosed with cancer while they also had 3 other kids. For a few years their home was absolutely centered around those kids. There were a million doctors appts, chemo, and trying to keep the lives of the other kids as normal as possible. Bethany Beal and Allison are very lucky they’ve never had a child with cancer. They have no clue what it means to center your entire family around keeping one kid alive. 

Edited January 20 by JermajestyDuggar

[Smash!]

On 1/10/2024 at 4:40 AM, Zebedee said:

 OTOH, I hate this narrative that all women, everywhere, always, are utterly impaired 25% of the time. This all smacks of women not being capable of normal jobs and independence because we are too fragile and flaky, […]

This was and still is also an argument to deny women medical care for diseases which makes me furious. If females are fragile and have bad periods by nature - maybe even as a punishment for the sins of Eve? - No one thinks about a disease that’s causing those symptoms. And you don’t see what you think doesn’t exist.

Endometriosis for example is an incredibly common disease and has the ability to do a lot of damage to the body. Yet still people get told it’s normal and to „toughen up“. You know what? Only after having no period for the first time in my life I realized how debilitating my symptoms were despite taking hospital doses of NSAIDs. 

 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

13 minutes ago, Smash! said:

This was and still is also an argument to deny women medical care for diseases which makes me furious. If females are fragile and have bad periods by nature - maybe even as a punishment for the sins of Eve? - No one thinks about a disease that’s causing those symptoms. And you don’t see what you think doesn’t exist.

Endometriosis for example is an incredibly common disease and has the ability to do a lot of damage to the body. Yet still people get told it’s normal and to „toughen up“. You know what? Only after having no period for the first time in my life I realized how debilitating my symptoms were despite taking hospital doses of NSAIDs. 

 

 

This makes me wonder about these fundies. I don’t have a period at all. Due to the Mirena. I bet this would bother them not only because it is birth control, but also because I’m fucking with god’s plan. 

[Smash!]

5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

This makes me wonder about these fundies. I don’t have a period at all. Due to the Mirena. I bet this would bother them not only because it is birth control, but also because I’m fucking with god’s plan. 

This is one example of their hypocritical beliefs. They only don’t mess with Gods plan when it comes to birth control. If someone doesn’t get pregnant despite of having unprotected sex, suddenly anything goes within the limits of their belief to still have a baby.

I don’t wish infertility on anyone who longs for a child. This goes for women in such cults as well and I think they are even more impacted because the only role their religion has for them is being a mother and a help meet to their husbands.

[JermajestyDuggar]

11 minutes ago, Smash! said:

This is one example of their hypocritical beliefs. They only don’t mess with Gods plan when it comes to birth control. If someone doesn’t get pregnant despite of having unprotected sex, suddenly anything goes within the limits of their belief to still have a baby.

I don’t wish infertility on anyone who longs for a child. This goes for women in such cults as well and I think they are even more impacted because the only role their religion has for them is being a mother and a help meet to their husbands.

It’s funny how some fundies won’t just say “it’s god’s will” and do nothing about their infertility. Even Michael Bates has seen doctors and has run tests in order to try and treat her infertility. 

[NoseyNellie]

17 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It’s funny how some fundies won’t just say “it’s god’s will” and do nothing about their infertility. Even Michael Bates has seen doctors and has run tests in order to try and treat her infertility. 

I have been questioning this line of thought myself for years.. I have known many LDS wives who did anything and everything to catch the next egg- whatever it took to get pregnant again- all in the name of spirituality though- as though they were looked down upon for having any amount of spacing between children.   

 

[HereticHick]

I think Mrs. Allison is trying to soothe her younger sister Liz, who's turned 20 & seems increasingly frantic about not having a boyfriend --which she expresses by insisting she's not frantic about it, and by frantically pushing her Young Living products. I wish she had the opportunity to go work at the family inn like her older sisters did.  Too many of these Waiting-for-Prince-Charming Maidens get sucked into these MLMs which may not suit their personality, and which may not make them much $ (if they truly sat down & calculated how much time they spend, & how much extra $ they are spending on these overpriced products). Many of them would make more $$*, and have more enriching interactions with the outside world, if they just took a part time or seasonal job somewhere.

*and they'd be paying into Social Security, too!

[TheGleeTeam]

I didn't realize I was subscribed to the Bontragers' email newsletter but anyway, one of the many Bowers sons has officially joined the family band. Also, prison ministry, UGH.

 

[anachronistic]

Of all the things that they do, I have trouble finding fault in prison ministry, though I certainly welcome others to educate me otherwise. Prisoners have so few rights and are treated so badly, and have so little to do, having happy, healthy people come in to talk to them and sing must be a nice distraction. Whatever gives comfort basically.

[HereticHick]

Crockett Bowers is 17, I think.

Joe Xiques, who toured with them previously, is now in something called the Young Original Band, which has actually gotten gigs (hear that, Lawson Bates?): https://youngoriginalband.com/ 

[JermajestyDuggar]

10 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

Crockett Bowers is 17, I think.

Joe Xiques, who toured with them previously, is now in something called the Young Original Band, which has actually gotten gigs (hear that, Lawson Bates?): https://youngoriginalband.com/ 

Carver Bowers played with the young originals too. And Crockett could be 18. He’s either 17 or 18 I think. I still haven’t figured out who the other guy in the band is.