Shiny Happy People: A Duggar and IBLP Documentary

[Cam]

2 minutes ago, ElizaB said:

I felt it was really heavy and watching one at a time is going to be necessary. I couldn’t watch another. Anyone else feel this way?

Yes. I prefer a little time to process what I’ve heard. I could probably watch one a day. There also isn’t anything much new we don’t already know so there’s an element of ho-hum about it. If there were shocking revelations, it’d be different. But we know most of what this is about and what these people have been up to. 

Edited June 2, 2023 by Cam

[Hane]

The episode about child beating made my physically ill.

[seraaa]

The emotion in Jill's voice when she's talking about all this stuff, man. the anger and the stress.

But I understand why she wanted to represent herself in this story, to take her own part.

Edited June 2, 2023 by seraaa

[BensAllergies]

52 minutes ago, Cam said:

Just watching Episode I, Jill still seems kind of baby-fied. She seemed to give broad comments and is not overly specific. It felt like she held back because she is intentionally saving more details to be revealed in her book; like her appearance in the documentary serves to spark interest in and promote her book. Very calculated. 

She gets more detailed in episode 3, but you may be onto something. Multiple times she referred to having issues with family, being on the rocks with some of them, etc. but doesn’t get specific.

I don’t think we knew that Derrick received anonymous texts chastising them. 

[Anne Of Gray Gables]

54 minutes ago, Cam said:

The Holts came across as weird. Jim saying “did I tell you we were related?” about he and Bobye was very awkward when Josh made a similar joke on 19KAC. I also didn’t grasp why Jim said, “We have two kids”. Then she said “We have 11 kids.” What was that about? 

And this was just after they admitted she was only 14 when they started dating but she was "well-developed" for her age. 

Can you say "tone deaf"?

[princessjo1988]

My husband and I just finished all four episodes. 
 

For me it was a gut punch to see it all laid out like that. No major surprises, but, just man, brought back a lot of memories and aha moments. It was interesting being able to recognise so many. Very neat to see the shout out to Recovering Grace. And Jill - I can’t imagine the bravery that took, and I thought she handled it well - simple and straightforward. 
 

For my husband, who had very little knowledge, it was in his words, ‘crazy’. He was particularly perturbed about the paramilitary stuff and the spanking segment. It was nice to share him a bit of my background too, and even though we were reformed Baptist growing up, not ATI, lots of common ground. 
 

Having watched it, it makes Jim-Bob and Michelle’s statement if anything, worse. I was furious about it before; and now, they have literally written a statement that flags so many components of what was spoken about in the documentary. 
 

For all their 19 children, they are going to end up very alone and ultimately hated. 

[FilleMondaine]

Like many, I wanted to come here and read and report! The Duggar threads are too many for me. And that is more about the Duggars than my brain capacity.

I fourth the glee about the Recovering Grace shout out. It honestly saved me. I knew that I would want to read here, first, and prepare myself emotionally for watching the documentary.

Please help me understand: What is about Derrick that makes everyone wince?

[JermajestyDuggar]

I’m having a hard time watching Jill’s parts. She very obviously doesn’t want to be there. She doesn’t want to be talking about this. You can tell how hard it is for her to sit there and talk about this. I feel so bad for her. This was taped a year and a half ago. I’m hoping her book has helped her talk about this more. Because you can tell this documentary shows her in the very early stages of talking about this. 

[irish_dancing_canadian]

I'm a couple episodes in. I've been following The Duggars and all that since the first special came out years ago. So far nothing is surprising, 

I remember watching The Megyn Kelly Interview and noticed how much Jill was crying during it and thought "Wow she is clearly not fine and needs proper therapy". I'm glad she as able to speak up now and I feel so bad that the world had to find out what happened to her. How awful that must be. 

[CanadianMamam]

13 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’m having a hard time watching Jill’s parts. She very obviously doesn’t want to be there. She doesn’t want to be talking about this. You can tell how hard it is for her to sit there and talk about this. I feel so bad for her. This was taped a year and a half ago. I’m hoping her book has helped her talk about this more. Because you can tell this documentary shows her in the very early stages of talking about this. 

I felt terrible for when too. She was also at a very high stress point in her life. She was pregnant after a miscarriage, the trial had just finished and she was obviously still processing all the ways her parents had betrayed her and her sisters (I am sure the revelations about Joy shook her to the core). She clearly did not want to talk about it, but at the same time, I understand her attitude of "I'd rather tell my own story than have someone else do it". 

[GreenBeans]

11 hours ago, thoughtful said:

The second half of the second episode is covering the beatings, blanket training, the Pearls, etc. They are doing a pretty good job of showing how horrifying it is, and how it sets kids up for further abuse.

That example of a beating on stage, with a little boy forced to play along, being put over the lap of that old man, and forced to hug him afterwards on a huge stage, wow, wrong on SO MANY LEVELS. And that huge audience was laughing and cheering and clapping. Unbelievable.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Jill said she had two “set ups” coming up before she first talked to Derrick on the phone. Now I’m so damn curious who those two set ups (most likely from friends) were! Ugh. I’m so nosy. 

[CanadianMamam]

5 minutes ago, GreenBeans said:

That example of a beating on stage, with a little boy forced to play along, being put over the lap of that old man, and forced to hug him afterwards on a huge stage, wow, wrong on SO MANY LEVELS. And that huge audience was laughing and cheering and clapping. Unbelievable.

That clip was traumatizing.

My husband was in the room as I watched the first two episodes and he said "wtf" a lot. He was really disturbed by what he was hearing. 

I am on episode 3 and the fact that the Hobby Lobby guy was IBLP's biggest donor surprised me. Like I knew he was an awful right-wing nutcase but I never connected him with IBLP. 

1 minute ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Jill said she had two “set ups” coming up before she first talked to Derrick on the phone. Now I’m so damn curious who those two set ups (most likely from friends) were! Ugh. I’m so nosy. 

I was curious about that. Which friends were trying to introduce her to people? 

[CanadianMamam]

I'll add that my husband grew up in an extremely religious home (Roman Catholic) and some of what he was hearing was very triggering for him and there were parallels to his own childhood even though he was far removed from IBLP.

I went to church as a child but it was a very small, liberal church and my experience was nothing like the documentary or what my husband experienced. We went to church on Sunday and that was it, the occasional pot luck or church picnic, but church was not the center of our lives and it did not seep into every aspect of it and I think that is when it gets dangerous and harmful. IBLP and the churches under it's umbrella wanted full control over people's lives. 

Edited June 2, 2023 by CanadianMamam

[hoipolloi]

Watched the first episode & will definitely watch the rest, probably one per day. 

As so many said, there is not a lot of new information. OTOH, for casual viewers of the TLC shows or the general public, this documentary will be eye-opening. Besides Kristin Kobes Du Mez, they have a number of reputable people commenting on the political-social-religious context that allowed the Duggars to become a phenomenon. 

Here's a review from the Washington Post (gift link):

Quote

The Duggars appeared to sincerely believe that they could safeguard sin away from their household by wearing longer dresses, subscribing to rigid gender roles, praying harder. “Shiny Happy People” makes it clear that this wasn’t a desperate family’s magical thinking. This was IBLP doctrine. A organizational workbook for grade-schoolers contained an exercise in which students were instructed to circle the dangerous, “immodest” attire — an exposed knee or shoulder — worn by a series of women.

In 2015, Jim Bob and Michelle explained that they had sent Josh to a church-run program to rehabilitate him. “We had taken care of all that years ago,” is what they told Kelly. It never seemed to occur to them that IBLP might be spectacularly ill-equipped to treat a troubled boy like Josh. In the documentary, multiple women recount how IBLP teachings had made them more susceptible to abuse: as girls, they were taught that it was their job to always obey men, and they were denied the sex education necessary to communicate, or even fully grasp, when bad things happened to them.

 

Edited June 2, 2023 by hoipolloi
Clarity

[TN-peach]

33 minutes ago, GreenBeans said:

That example of a beating on stage, with a little boy forced to play along, being put over the lap of that old man, and forced to hug him afterwards on a huge stage, wow, wrong on SO MANY LEVELS. And that huge audience was laughing and cheering and clapping. Unbelievable.

"that wasn't a good enough hug" made me want to vomit.  The fake spanking was almost like a caress.  It was so gross. And a parent volunteered to send their son up there. 

[klein_roeschen]

9 hours ago, Cupcake79 said:

I don’t know where I could watch this as I’m in Europe. Need to figure that out. My question at this point is if and how much are the Bates in this?

It's on the Amazon Prime streaming service and it's available in Europe. I'm in Germany and have binged 3 out of 4 episodes. The last one has to wait, my dog want's his walk.

[CanadianMamam]

Ok the harrassing text messages Derke received. "he picked this beautiful untouched virgin for you to marry" 🤢

[Jana814]

9 minutes ago, TN-peach said:

"that wasn't a good enough hug" made me want to vomit.  The fake spanking was almost like a caress.  It was so gross. And a parent volunteered to send their son up there. 

That part was very odd. The kid clearing didn’t want to be on stage. 

[Mabel]

11 minutes ago, TN-peach said:

"that wasn't a good enough hug" made me want to vomit.  The fake spanking was almost like a caress.  It was so gross. And a parent volunteered to send their son up there. 

And the use of the word “daddy” makes it absolutely disgusting. The fact that people were laughing is revolting. 

[hoipolloi]

Interesting info: I check on Crystal Paine's (Money Saving Mom) IG regularly, and today's stories included the following:

ETA: She has previously mentioned this and has essentially disavowed the ATI/ABLP belief system but excused her parents by saying that they were just trying do what they thought best. 

Edited June 2, 2023 by hoipolloi

[CanadianMamam]

I found episode 3 really, really hard (but I am also a survivor and it definitely was triggering). I kinda of wish I had waited until my husband to watch this one as I found it very hard. 

Edited June 2, 2023 by CanadianMamam

[thoughtful]

Thanks to all who have commented. I was especially interested in posts from those watching with someone who doesn't know all that we do. Those are the people I'd love to see a documentary like this reach and educate.

I snark and mock, and even find humor in some of what we discuss. And I admit it's a fascination that is not entirely noble on my part. But there is a serious side to it.

When I've gotten the "why would you spend your time on that?" reaction from others, I've been honest about the fact that sometimes it's for fun, but that there's more to it. I try to explain that these shitbags are trying to take over my country, and it's terrifying. In the meantime, they are abusing children and women, which should concern anyone.

I haven't watched the last two episodes yet - I will later.

[Giraffe]

My roommate was interested in watching it so we binged it last night. Both of us were screaming at the tv during the Holts' interviews because while Bobbye gets huge props for testifying against Josh, they still did absolutely nothing to protect the children when they initially heard about the abuse! I really wished they'd held Bobbye accountable and asked her what caused her to finally do something that would help all these years later. 

I also want to chime in about the boy on stage. It was horrific to watch! I would love to see an interview now of the boy (who's probably in his 30's now). It was traumatizing to watch! There was nothing to indicate anyone prepped him by telling him it was make-believe or that he wasn't really in trouble and that he was "just" being used as an example. And then when the man made him repeat the hug?!! Absolutely revolting!

 

[hoipolloi]

3 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

When I've gotten the "why would you spend your time on that?" reaction from others, I've been honest about the fact that sometimes it's for fun, but that there's more to it. I try to explain that these shitbags are trying to take over my country, and it's terrifying. In the meantime, they are abusing children and women, which should concern anyone.

Exactly. Well said. Yes, we snark here but I also believe that FJ provides a public service by providing information and archiving things that many of our snarkees have tried to hide for whatever reason. 

IMO, Christian nationalism and its support structures are a clear and present danger to the US and possibly the world in general. Anything that takes them down is to the good.