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Shiny Happy People: A Duggar and IBLP Documentary


CanadianMamam

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17 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Since Ray is Australian, I sort of doubt it. 

Ah, I’ve ever actually seen the infamous video, so I didn’t realize he was Australian.

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12 minutes ago, Jasmar said:

Ah, I’ve ever actually seen the infamous video, so I didn’t realize he was Australian.

I think Australians on FJ are going to kill me because he’s actually from New Zealand. I doubt the Australians want to claim him 😂

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I just googled the banana video. What in the world. You know you might be hyper sexual when you make Kirk Cameron squirm.

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1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think Australians on FJ are going to kill me because he’s actually from New Zealand. I doubt the Australians want to claim him 😂

Oh man, I was hoping nobody noticed and just let the Aussies claim him! 😂 (they like doing that with our popular famous people, so I’m sure they won’t mind with the less popular ones :angelic-halofell:)

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5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’ve probably said this somewhere before on FJ, but I’m against the idea that being constantly busy=good type mentality the US tends to exude. People put workaholic behavior on a pedestal. People think that if you aren’t constantly on the go, you are lazy. This is nothing new though. The phrase “Protestant work ethic” has been around forever. But I guess hustle culture is now the common term. I personally don’t think being constantly busy is a virtue. I think it can be extremely stressful for the entire family. I’ve seen this play out in the families of people I’m close to and there always ends up being a big problem. Like someone gets very sick from the stress and is forced to slow down. It’s not sustainable. Having down time is a good thing. It’s ok if kids are bored sometimes. 

My niece and her husband. Both went to a well known highly competitive university. Both have advanced degrees. Live in one of the most expensive zip codes in the US, and have 3 jobs between them. They had 3 kids in as many years, and then they promptly got divorced. It’s.all.too.much.

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38 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

My niece and her husband. Both went to a well known highly competitive university. Both have advanced degrees. Live in one of the most expensive zip codes in the US, and have 3 jobs between them. They had 3 kids in as many years, and then they promptly got divorced. It’s.all.too.much.

I think it can start young. So I am making sure my kids know down time is good and being constantly busy isn’t. I can tell they pretty much agree with me because if we ever have a busy time in our lives due to circumstances we can’t avoid, they complain. 

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49 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think it can start young. So I am making sure my kids know down time is good and being constantly busy isn’t. I can tell they pretty much agree with me because if we ever have a busy time in our lives due to circumstances we can’t avoid, they complain. 

I agree 100%. If my husband had his way, we’d have a “to do” every weekend. And I am not just talking about work or home projects. He would love to have “engagements” to attend or travel on his docket, every week. Ick, not me. 

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The WaPo article is supposed to be the first of a series.

I thought it was a decent presentation of the issues and also got in some righteous whacks on the Pearls, Gothard, IBLP, and HSLDA. 

Re: HSLDA. Michael Ferris is a fucking liar. He and the HSLDA were front and center of VF's activities for years. What an asshat.

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Bethany Wissmann’s husband works for the HSLDA. And her sister Hannah is married to Jer Duggar. All of these people are connected in one or more ways. I hope the documentary points this out. 

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2 hours ago, hoipolloi said:

The WaPo article is supposed to be the first of a series.

I thought it was a decent presentation of the issues and also got in some righteous whacks on the Pearls, Gothard, IBLP, and HSLDA. 

Re: HSLDA. Michael Ferris is a fucking liar. He and the HSLDA were front and center of VF's activities for years. What an asshat.

Excellent article.

I have mentioned here that I homeschooled both pre pandemic and during and see homeschooling as a valid educational option.

But these stories are harrowing. It’s education that’s not meant to educate. No preparation for active engagement in modern life.

As far as Michael Farris, I can’t even. I really wish these journalists would go down the rabbit hole of reading the numerous amicus briefs he has authored. It’s nasty stuff—and most of it completely unrelated to homeschooling.

Here is one arguing in favor of the option of life without parole for juvenile offenders (and alludes to similar beliefs around use of death penalty for juveniles):

https://eji.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/graham-amicus-house-members.pdf

 

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I would like to know what's going on in the Duggar Family now. How do JB and M react to this? What will they tell their children? Will some start asking questions?

Who'll watch it and what reactions will it cause? (Considering it's all lies, or maybe start questioning). 

How will their reactions towards Jill be? 

So many questions. Oh to be a fly on the wall. 

I hope the minors are safe and won't suffer any negative consequences. Like getting married to even stricter husbands. 

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18 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’ve probably said this somewhere before on FJ, but I’m against the idea that being constantly busy=good type mentality the US tends to exude. People put workaholic behavior on a pedestal. People think that if you aren’t constantly on the go, you are lazy. This is nothing new though. The phrase “Protestant work ethic” has been around forever. But I guess hustle culture is now the common term. I personally don’t think being constantly busy is a virtue. I think it can be extremely stressful for the entire family. I’ve seen this play out in the families of people I’m close to and there always ends up being a big problem. Like someone gets very sick from the stress and is forced to slow down. It’s not sustainable. Having down time is a good thing. It’s ok if kids are bored sometimes. 

Agree 100%. It becomes a kind of status symbol to be so perpetually rushed and in a big hurry with so much on your plate to do. It is hard to have any kind of relationship with a person like that, it’s really just superficial as they’re so wrapped up in their pursuit of pursuit.

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8 minutes ago, Cam said:

Agree 100%. It becomes a kind of status symbol to be so perpetually rushed and in a big hurry with so much on your plate to do. It is hard to have any kind of relationship with a person like that, it’s really just superficial as they’re so wrapped up in their pursuit of pursuit.

I know so many people who are busy on purpose. I know one of the specifically told me once...as a mother of 2 children, bachelor's degree, married for years extroverted person....that she was afraid to be alone (without adults), even in the car driving. So she called people nonstop if her husband went out of town. That family is ALWAYS scheduled to death. It seems exhausting. But sometimes I wonder - is she afraid of her own internal thoughts? She's also rather religious. Not fundy but at church every week and prays every day sort of person. 

I'm happily looking forward to summaries and discussion this weekend. I don't have prime. It's supposed to be the 1st really hot weekend this year, so I expect to be inside a lot more.  I hope there's some juicy bits to stir up discussion and NOT a lengthy grumble about how Famy is not the person we wanted to hear from! 

 

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17 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think Australians on FJ are going to kill me because he’s actually from New Zealand. I doubt the Australians want to claim him 😂

No thanks, it’s bad enough knowing that we’re responsible for Ken Fucking Ham.

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21 hours ago, CanadianMamam said:

There is a clip on tik-tok where they talk about the Megyn Kelly interview and it is really, really intense. I also see why Jill and Derek were interviewed together, because she really seems to rely on him to get through the hard topics.

 

That makes me really sad but also so glad that she has someone there that is there for her and supporting her. 

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2 hours ago, WatchingTheTireFireBurn said:

I know so many people who are busy on purpose. I know one of the specifically told me once...as a mother of 2 children, bachelor's degree, married for years extroverted person....that she was afraid to be alone (without adults), even in the car driving. So she called people nonstop if her husband went out of town. That family is ALWAYS scheduled to death. It seems exhausting. But sometimes I wonder - is she afraid of her own internal thoughts? She's also rather religious. Not fundy but at church every week and prays every day sort of person. 

I'm happily looking forward to summaries and discussion this weekend. I don't have prime. It's supposed to be the 1st really hot weekend this year, so I expect to be inside a lot more.  I hope there's some juicy bits to stir up discussion and NOT a lengthy grumble about how Famy is not the person we wanted to hear from! 

 

I do know people who stay busy due to untreated anxiety. You would think people with anxiety would be the opposite. And some are. But everyone reacts differently to anxiety. So there are many different reactions to dealing with anxiety on your own (it can be drugs, or alcohol, or staying home bound, or just over-scheduling your entire life). If you are constantly busy and exhausted, you don’t have the time or energy to even think about your anxiety. It’s like a constant distraction. I’ve always assumed the lock down in 2020 was extremely difficult for people who were used to living their life that way. 

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13 hours ago, noseybutt said:

But these stories are harrowing. It’s education that’s not meant to educate. No preparation for active engagement in modern life.

The really scary thing about Michael Ferris and his ilk (that is, homeschool leadership types) is that they are actually taking education extremely seriously. They’re trying to educate kids in a way that doesn’t just effectively brainwash them, but prepares them to enter politics (or support a husband who does, in which case she still needs a good education to be a perfect christopublican wife). That’s not really possible in most of these huge families, and even the families with only 3-4 kids struggle, so they’re not quite as effective as they’d hoped, but they still manage to crank out enough to make a very scary difference.

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6 hours ago, Cam said:

Agree 100%. It becomes a kind of status symbol to be so perpetually rushed and in a big hurry with so much on your plate to do. It is hard to have any kind of relationship with a person like that, it’s really just superficial as they’re so wrapped up in their pursuit of pursuit.

I have seen this among my peers...I'm the sort who needs LOTS of down time. I go to work, come home, hang out, pet cats, clean up a bit, read/watch a movie and go to bed. That's it. I've been through times where I was so busy I didn't know if I was coming or going and realized that I can't do that anymore. I CRAVE alone time, time to live with my thoughts, ideas, whatever. 

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I think it’s important to take personality into account. Im someone who always wants to be busy- I just have a lot of energy. I like to move. I like to be near people. I enjoy making plans and doing things. When my kids were little we were constantly going to parks, the library, museums and other things. Now, my sister is the opposite. When we both were staying at home with young kids I was constantly inviting her to do things with us and she was constantly wanting to stay home. We are just different. I think what’s important though is that both of our chosen lifestyles are fine. We both get done what needs to get done and are great (I hope!) moms. I don’t hold myself higher because I’m “busy” and she doesn’t shame me for being “too busy.” We do what works for us and don’t pressure each other to live in a way that doesn’t suit them. 

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1 hour ago, Jasmar said:

The really scary thing about Michael Ferris and his ilk (that is, homeschool leadership types) is that they are actually taking education extremely seriously. They’re trying to educate kids in a way that doesn’t just effectively brainwash them, but prepares them to enter politics (or support a husband who does, in which case she still needs a good education to be a perfect christopublican wife). That’s not really possible in most of these huge families, and even the families with only 3-4 kids struggle, so they’re not quite as effective as they’d hoped, but they still manage to crank out enough to make a very scary difference.

Yes, you see this in the Christian homeschool speech and debate clubs. That subset is definitely groomed for politics. 

Speech and debate graduates are also the ones running Homeschoolers Anonymous and lobbying for more homeschooling oversight.

It’s definitely a mixed bag in terms of outcome.

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14 minutes ago, noseybutt said:

Speech and debate graduates are also the ones running Homeschoolers Anonymous and lobbying for more homeschooling oversight.

It’s definitely a mixed bag in terms of outcome.

I took a debate class in either my last year of high school or my first year of college, as an elective. One of the things I learned is that one has to be able to argue both the pro and the con side of the issue that is stated. So I can see how a focus on classical debating techniques might backfire on some of the high-control groups who would like to spread their indoctrination of young people. 

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54 minutes ago, ElizaB said:

I think it’s important to take personality into account. Im someone who always wants to be busy- I just have a lot of energy. I like to move. I like to be near people. I enjoy making plans and doing things. When my kids were little we were constantly going to parks, the library, museums and other things. Now, my sister is the opposite. When we both were staying at home with young kids I was constantly inviting her to do things with us and she was constantly wanting to stay home. We are just different. I think what’s important though is that both of our chosen lifestyles are fine. We both get done what needs to get done and are great (I hope!) moms. I don’t hold myself higher because I’m “busy” and she doesn’t shame me for being “too busy.” We do what works for us and don’t pressure each other to live in a way that doesn’t suit them. 

I’m glad it works for you and there’s no judgement. But that’s not the way all people/families are. One side of my family prized “busy-ness” as a virtue and anyone who wasn’t busy was often determined to be lazy. It’s no surprise I also have much richer workaholic types of family members on that side of the family. It is an actual cultural problem in the US for many families. 

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