Lori Alexander 82: The only dissenting voice allowed is her own

[Loveday]

15 minutes ago, HoneyBunny said:

What slays me is that LazyLori has done plenty of parent bashing herself over the years. In fact, her Aunt Ginny even spoke up one time and told her she was telling lies about her parents’ relationship. Every time I think she can’t shock me any longer with her hypocrisy…she does!

It's like JillRod and her limbo pole, hypocrisy edition. I usually just roll my eyes and shake my head at Lori's crap, but this one had me alternately yelling at my laptop screen and banging my head on the table.

[Botkinetti]

It must have taken ages and many edits for Lori to craft that letter she wrote to herself.  I do not believe it is real. It is too pat and filled with praise for Lori. 

[Hane]

57 minutes ago, Botkinetti said:

It must have taken ages and many edits for Lori to craft that letter she wrote to herself.  I do not believe it is real. It is too pat and filled with praise for Lori. 

And it contains the mandatory demonization of women doctors.

[Loveday]

Lori's going on about what femininity looks like in this morning's post. Women must be meek and quiet--or completely silent as far as Lori is concerned. A woman asks a man why he's in a group that's supposedly meant for women. Lori answers her with this: "Why are you questioning men? It’s not your role nor responsibility."

Nowhere, that I'm aware of, in the Bible does it say that a woman must never ever question a man. According to Paul, they must keep quiet during the church service (but frankly, I've always believed everyone should keep quiet unless they're singing or praying the Lord's Prayer or some other responsorial situation, because it's rude to be disruptive during the service), but Lori seems to have evolved her interpretation of that to the point that women anywhere, at any time, in any place--even at home!-- must never, ever question a man. Hell, I'm beginning to believe she thinks women should just NEVER speak to a man, no matter what the topic, unless the man gives her permission to open her mouth. 🙄

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

As for meek and quiet -- HA! That doesn't describe Lori At. All. as she spends all day every day on FB and all her social media accounts haranguing and loudly / longly criticizing women. 

@Loveday I agree with this x 1000.

Quote

I'm beginning to believe she thinks women should just NEVER speak to a man, no matter what the topic, unless the man gives her permission to open her mouth.

Lori believes the only woman who can speak is Lori.

[SongRed7]

On 9/16/2023 at 8:31 AM, Botkinetti said:

It must have taken ages and many edits for Lori to craft that letter she wrote to herself.  I do not believe it is real. It is too pat and filled with praise for Lori. 

Lori is always the STAR of her own stories:

- flight attendant praising her on a recent flight for her words of wisdom

-everyone loving her "late" cats...they were practically the neighborhood support pets

- best cook ever! she never just cooks. It's always "My big salad" "my eikhorn sourdough bread" "My homemade pizza crust" "my pumpkin pie" and how every always swears it's the best ever!

-Man selling solar panels realizing the errors of his ways after talking to Lori

-Man and check outperson at Costco seeing the light and wishing their wives would read Lori's teachings.

 

And the list goes on and one. No one is more perfect and Godly then Lori

[Pammy]

In addition, the Bible presents both meekness and quietness-of-spirit as desirable qualities for men, using men as exemplars of those traits. It's true that women are reminded of these desirable traits, but only in the context of them being Christian virtues in a much more widespread sense.

Imagine if not only all the women were 'meek and quiet' (in the way Lori thinks it means, being subservient and being verbally quiet) but also that all the men were too! What a strange kind of community that would be! (Quakers come to mind.)

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Lori's FB today is extolling all the great "Christian" things Jim Boob and Meech did raising their children  -- without mentioning JB"s and M's  names.  Extreme modesty, no dating (chaperones for the sexual purity win!), no TV/secular music, home schooling (schools indoctrinate and the world is wicked). Oh ...... and one of her comments is it's not wrong to give your womb to God to decide how many children you have (you first Lori) and theer's nothing wrong with sending your kids to college.

She goes on and on and on that none of those "convictions" are a cult.  They aren't a cult if the parents love and worship Jesus. (No, No. Worng. Gothard-ism is a cult.)

She exhorts that many more "Christians" must have these "convictions. Because "Christians" must be different/ look different/ act different and not be part of the world and away from it.

The leghumper fangirls are all in agreement and say that's what they are doing with their children. Way to stifle your children, you control freak, cult follower nut jobs.

Nut case insane preacher Jason Cooley seems to follow Lori and mentions they are expecting child #8.  Jason won't tell us his name yet, but it's a "great name."  

Snarky cynical me wonders if he's naming the boy Jesus or Jehovah

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Editing my post above.  Lori said there's nothing wrong with not sending your kids to college.

[marmalade]

14 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Editing my post above.  Lori said there's nothing wrong with not sending your kids to college.

Yeah, that's our Lori. 🙄

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

If we didn't know for certain before, we do now.  In a recent comment one of her leghumper fangirls mentions how great it was to meet Lori at Carlsbad Community Church.

A quick look at the church's website confirms that the church leadership is entirely male, entirely white, and old (10 out of 14). The 3 of the 4 non white-haired olds are at least middle aged.

There are 3 women's Bible study group ( I though Lori hated those).  The "Tapestry Women's Bible Study" is lead by a woman.

The Director of the Children's Ministry is a woman.

There is also a Women's Ministry = "Women's Ministry provides opportunities for women to walk with Christ and growing in greater intimacy with Him through dynamic Bible studies, small groups, outreach programs, retreats, prayer, and discipleship."

There are also 4 Circle Fellowships for women.

Neither Ken nor Lori have any role at all in ministries or leadership. (Thank Rufus)

Although the church seems very fundie, there are groups just for women and led by women.  Women in charge of anything is an absolute anathema to Lori, so much so she thinks they are sinful.

Once again Lori doesn't seem to be practicing what she preaches. (Yes, she preaches. All day every day on social media.)

[Loveday]

She's nattering on today about women taking their husband's name and combining all their assets together into one bank account. (Full disclosure: I have my own accounts and have done since we got married. I did take his last name, but retained my maiden name as my middle name.) According to Lori, you can't really be 'one flesh' if you don't turn over all your money to your husband and let him control it all, doling out what HE thinks fit you should have.

Several disturbing comments showed up.

Quote

It used to really bother me that my husband won’t allow me to share his bank account but I’ve since had a change of heart. I’ll never talk him into it and as long as I don’t go without needs, I’m ok with it now.

Quote

My husband has 3 bank accounts I don't have access to and idk anything about our finances because he won't tell me and only ever gives me either cash or puts money on a Walmart debit card for me- he says since he's the one who works it's not my place to know and I should obey him by not asking about it

Quote

My wife shares my last name as well, but I shoulder all things financial, and allow her to live the bliss that is never having to be involved with that aspect of our household. She gets an allowance, and her money is no good when we are together.

😳

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Ok -- here's the thing -- children get an allowances, not grown women.

The comment that disturbed me the most is the women whose hubby has 3 accounts to which she has no access and she knows nothing about their finances.

I severely sincerely hope someone in her life lets her know that if he drops dead she'll have a hella time getting access to his accounts and the financial information. Also he may have taken out lines of credit and/or contracted debts in both their names, so she'll be on the hook for the repayments.

I also seriously hope a male relative can beat some sense in the hubby.  It will have to be a man because hubby would never ever never listen to a woman.

Full disclosure:

I hyphenated my last name when we married (Maiden Name-Dress), but for many years used Maiden Name at work. We've always had separate bank accounts. Never opened a joint account and still see no need to.  Technically our separate accounts are joint as we're signatories on each other's, but this is for inheritance convenience. At the moment our credit cards are separate, but we're discussing adding each other to them, again for convenience.  

We discuss our finances and despite the separate accounts know exactly where we are. 

Even though (according to Lori) we're not "one flesh" because I don't given Mr. Dress my paycheck, let him control the money, and give me an "allowance" -- we are married.  I venture to say more happily married than Lori is or every can be,

 

 

 

[usmcmom]

On 9/16/2023 at 7:31 AM, Botkinetti said:

It must have taken ages and many edits for Lori to craft that letter she wrote to herself.  I do not believe it is real. It is too pat and filled with praise for Lori. 

I just read that post on her blog. I think Ken wrote the imaginary letter, either because Lori told him to or because he felt the need to ride in and rescue her again. There are no percentages mentioned in it; but there is this:

The research even bears it out, showing that women have become markedly more unhappy over the past 50 years.

That just sounds like a tidbit Ken would add. Also, the length is very much indicative of Ken’s writing, in my opinion, as is the general wording.  Finally, the “aw shucks,” style “…would you believe…?” the prize winning cookies…

The thing I can’t figure out is WHY? Why do these two feel the need to fabricate this stuff?  

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Fallgirl30]

16 hours ago, usmcmom said:

I just read that post on her blog. I think Ken wrote the imaginary letter, either because Lori told him to or because he felt the need to ride in and rescue her again. There are no percentages mentioned in it; but there is this:

The research even bears it out, showing that women have become markedly more unhappy over the past 50 years.

That just sounds like a tidbit Ken would add. Also, the length is very much indicative of Ken’s writing, in my opinion, as is the general wording.  Finally, the “aw shucks,” style “…would you believe…?” the prize winning cookies…

The thing I can’t figure out is WHY? Why do these two feel the need to fabricate this stuff?  

 

 

Same reason that Jill writes her kids letters to her - they love the attention and need to convince people that their "fruit" is good.

 

 

 

 

[Alisamer]

On 9/17/2023 at 9:08 AM, SongRed7 said:

-everyone loving her "late" cats...they were practically the neighborhood support pets

LOL does she mean the cat she tried to kick? Resulting in injuring her foot?

I suspect Lori is the neighborhood curmudgeon, the old nosy lady everyone tries to avoid whenever possible. 

[Maggie Mae]

Quote

My husband has 3 bank accounts I don't have access to and idk anything about our finances because he won't tell me and only ever gives me either cash or puts money on a Walmart debit card for me- he says since he's the one who works it's not my place to know and I should obey him by not asking about it

This is abuse. https://nnedv.org/content/about-financial-abuse/

17 hours ago, usmcmom said:

Finally, the “aw shucks,” style “…would you believe…?” the prize winning cookies…

The thing I can’t figure out is WHY? Why do these two feel the need to fabricate this stuff?  

I looked through the PA Farm Show's website and didn't see any prize winning chocolate chip cookies in the past few years.  Apparently I'm not very busy at work.  

I liked the bit at the end about "good luck with TikTok" which makes me think they wrote it as some sort of promotion. As though their followers are on TikTok - most of them seem pretty tech illiterate, or conspiracy theorists who will avoid TikTok because "china." 

[Pammy]

A list of things that nothing ever goes wrong with, that should be applauded, by Lori:

- Singling out one's female offspring and subjecting them to mandatory fashion choices that are distinctly out of line with what their peers are wearing.
- Forbidding teenager and young adults from the social exercise of 'dating' (even if they would like to participate in it)
- Subjecting teenagers and young adults to the archaic and awkward social activity of 'courting' potential heterosexual spouses (even if they would prefer not to participate in it)
- Depriving teenagers and young adults of any legitimate privacy in which to conduct their social activities
- Teaching that 'purity' is an aspect of someone's sexual identity
- Considering a person's choices regarding chastity or sexual activity to be the responsibility of their parents, and rightly under their parents' oversight
- Depriving children, teenagers, and young adults of access to ordinary TV and other media, in an effort to control their thought life, in particular whether or not they think about sex
- Depriving children and teens of an ordinary public education, even when one is not able to provide an alternative education that meets or exceeds the standards usually accomplished by public schooling, leaving them ignorant of many areas of common knowledge and competency and hampering their future wellbeing
- Depriving children and teens of the social context of experiencing social relationships with a wide variety of peers, whether in school or through another means
- Intentionally indoctrinating children and teens to believe that 'the world' is wicked
- Consciously choosing to forgo contraceptives as a woman, under the impression that God is more likely to skillfully and intentionally choose your level of fertility and number of offspring under those condition
- Depriving young adults of all the opportunities inherent in a post-secondary education: educationally, professionally, and socially

Why should they be applauded? Because these 'convictions' are 'sacrificial' (Yes, they tend towards 'sacrificing' the wellbeing of one's children!) and difficult. (Yes, difficult for children to live through and recover from!) Even if they sound like cult teachings (The do!) the magic of adding Jesus to the rhetoric makes it all admirable.

Lori thinks more Christians should live like this because it's good to be different from the culture around us, just for the sake of being different, and reminding ourselves about our upcoming 'eternity with Jesus'.

Lori likes the idea of doing what Jesus commands, but even she knows that Jesus didn't command a single one of these practices -- so she hedges that it's really great to add random 'convictions' to Jesus' commands as long as Lord Lori approves. If Lori says they are right, nobody should call out any flaws or faults about peoples 'convictions'.

Lori, of course, flourishes the end of her post with a completely context-free proof text. This time she takes the words of Paul, quoting the Old Testament, regarding the necessity of not offering worship to idols as if it means, "Do any old thing, as long as it makes you look strange to your culture." -- as if looking strange was something to be valued in and of itself.

Edited September 19, 2023 by Pammy

[HoneyBunny]

On 9/17/2023 at 7:08 AM, SongRed7 said:

 

- best cook ever! she never just cooks. It's always "My big salad" "my eikhorn sourdough bread" "My homemade pizza crust" "my pumpkin pie" and how every always swears it's the best ever!-

And yet she needed to look up a recipe to make what is apparently Ken’s favorite beef stew after 42 years of marriage. 

[Melissa1977]

Today I watched Tenley's (Alyssa's best friend) IG stories. She said her daughter goes to the same school Alyssa's son goes to. Alyssa has never posted first day of school nor anything similar. She once posted that her children go to a "little church project" as if it was a church nursery or an eventual activity. I wonder if she is basically hiding the fact that she is not homeschooling. 

[SongRed7]

20 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

She once posted that her children go to a "little church project" as if it was a church nursery or an eventual activity. I wonder if she is basically hiding the fact that she is not homeschooling. 

I've been following this, too. It is definitely a church run, Christian SCHOOL.  I don't know which one exactly but there are a number of Christian/church associated schools --yes real live schools -- in their area. All grades, starting with two day a week programs for 3 year olds which seems to be what Tenley's daughter is enrolled in.   In one of Alyssa's videos/IG stories a while back she heard a noise and casually mentioned that  Gideon was "home from school." 

Don't kid ourselves, those children aren't going to be  homeschooled.  and I would bet money that Steven/Emily's children also go to some sort of school program.  Emily had posted as much a couple years ago, before she went private on FB and IG. 

[Pammy]

Yikes! The wedding Lori is attending this weekend is a totally screwed up "romantic" story of two people making absurd decisions that have every potential to backfire and make everyone miserable.

1) "About a year ago" a young woman, employed as a travel nurse, began living with Lori and Ken for work. She's the sister of one of Lori's daughters in law.

2) Sometime recently a pastor in their area was widowed when his wife died birthing the couple's fifth child. (The youngest child looks maybe 2 or 3 years old.)

3) They met at some point, and began dating "about four months ago".

4) He asked her to marry him "a few months ago".

5) The way he asked her to marry him included having his five adorable children hold up a sign saying, "Will you be my Mother?"

6) "They want more children"

7) Lori communicates her belief that this woman is now "mother to five children" -- not a step-mother, but an actual replacement model. Because women are interchangeable, I guess?

8 ) "Only God could have woven this beautiful love story"

Don't get me wrong, I love blended families and happy love stories... but this one seems like a disaster. What's the point of rushing to the altar when the fundamental wellbeing of so many people hangs in the balance? Surely knowing each other at least a year and getting everyone some lovely therapy for the transition would have been the right thing to do?

And what's a professional nurse going to do now? Just never practice nursing again, as she takes over full time caregiving for what looks like maybe 3 preschoolers and two kids in the early elementary years. Will she be barefoot an pregnant within months? What a shock to the system! ETA: What if she's actually meant to begin *homeschooling* that crew???

Edited September 24, 2023 by Pammy

[Melissa1977]

1 hour ago, Pammy said:

Sometime recently a pastor in their area was widowed when his wife died birthing the couple's fifth child. (The youngest child looks maybe 2 or 3 years old.)

The late wife commited suicide while staying in a mental health facility. Baby #5 was an infant then. She was friends with Alyssa and close to Lori, too. She was a perfect fundie wife, very pretty, slim, always smiling homeschooling mom. I can't imagine the amount of pressure and pain she endured.

 

 

1 hour ago, Pammy said:

5) The way he asked her to marry him included having his five adorable children hold up a sign saying, "Will you be my Mother?"

Wow, what a enormous red flag!

I think the bride is "old" for a fundie (36 year old I think) and desperate to have a family. But it's not going to be easy.

And the groom has creepy vibes. Someone here posted he talked about doing nasty things to his former wife. I read it in this forum, when we commented about the suicide. 

Here you can find info. And the nasty comment was done by the time they got engaged.

 

Edited September 24, 2023 by Melissa1977
Add info

[Fallgirl30]

1 hour ago, Melissa1977 said:

The late wife commited suicide while staying in a mental health facility. Baby #5 was an infant then. She was friends with Alyssa and close to Lori, too. She was a perfect fundie wife, very pretty, slim, always smiling homeschooling mom. I can't imagine the amount of pressure and pain she endured.

 

 

Wow, what a enormous red flag!

I think the bride is "old" for a fundie (36 year old I think) and desperate to have a family. But it's not going to be easy.

And the groom has creepy vibes. Someone here posted he talked about doing nasty things to his former wife. I read it in this forum, when we commented about the suicide. 

Here you can find info. And the nasty comment was done by the time they got engaged.

 

I read here that Lori described the husband as "difficult".  It’s the first time I’ve heard her criticize a man.

[Melissa1977]

On 6/16/2023 at 5:34 PM, Celtic Roots said:

It appears that Emily's sister is recently engaged to Chris Hilken, the pastor from North Coast Church whose wife tragically committed suicide a couple of years ago, leaving 5 children. I believe daughter Alyssa knew her. Could Alyssa have introduced them? The sister is now living in Encinitas, were I think Alyssa lives.

Anyway, the greater question is regarding all the negative press Hilken received when at and after leaving North Coast (bullying issues, the "golden shower" his wife said he sprayed on her to "mark his territory," support of marriage of teens, and  other questionable things). Google his name and critics and read some of the posts from Wondering Eagle. I always thought Emily and her family of origin were among the more reasonable, thoughtful  evangelicals. I would have second thoughts if my daughter wanted to marry this man.

@Pammy, above there is more info about the groom. Scaring.

Edited September 24, 2023 by Melissa1977
Add info