Katie & Travis 4: Still under the Umbrella of Patriarchy

[CanadianMamam]

Although with the Bates, predicting girl is always safe. They are currently at 6 boys to 16 girls 

 

 

Although weirdly, while girls far outnumber boys, if Katie had a boy then half the Bates siblings will have had a boy first and half will have had a girl first. 

[Keys]

I’m guessing boy based on the nub too. In my recent pregnancy, I was sooo impatient to find out the sex, that I ended up reading a bunch and read that nub theory is actually decently accurate if the photo is clear and at the right angle. The others, like skull theory, ramzi etc aren’t at all, though

[CanadianMamam]

The Bates marriage to baby speed is crazy. Katie will have been married 15 months and 1 day on her due date and she is way behind her siblings, except Erin (miscarriage) and Michael (infertility).

- Carlin and Evan, 8 months + 6 days 

- Josie and Kelton, 9 months + 14 days 

- Zach and Whitney, 10 months + 15 days 

- Alyssa and John, 10 months + 18 days 

- Tori and Bobby, 10 months + 24 days 

- Nathan and Esther 11 months + 26 days (based on due date) 

- Katie and Travis 15 months + 1 day (based on due date) 

- Erin and Chad, 18 months + 12 days *Erin had 3 miscarriages 

- Michael + Brandon 7 years 1 *infertility 

I mean I had a baby 15 months after I got married too but we had lived together for 3 yeara before marriage and basically the wedding was to appease my MIL before I had babies. I couldn't imagine going from zero/extremely limited contact to babies so fast. 

[lis1320]

I noticed that on the scans she posted to her Instagram stories, her name is written Katie Bates… wonder why not go by her married name if that’s now her legal name 🤔

[CarrotCake]

8 hours ago, lis1320 said:

I noticed that on the scans she posted to her Instagram stories, her name is written Katie Bates… wonder why not go by her married name if that’s now her legal name 🤔

Does that change on your medical record as well?

Of course I am in a different country but I cannot imagine it is very efficient if names on medical records etc. change after marriage. It must be a mess to connect records from before and after. 

But over here your legal name does not change at all, passports also always keep the maiden name as a last name. You can just change the way the government addresses you.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

8 minutes ago, CarrotCake said:

Does that change on your medical record as well?

Of course I am in a different country but I cannot imagine it is very efficient if names on medical records etc. change after marriage. It must be a mess to connect records from before and after. 

But over here your legal name does not change at all, passports also always keep the maiden name as a last name. You can just change the way the government addresses you.

Yes it would if you change your name. A lot of women basically get rid of their maiden names (probably the majority). Some use their maiden name as middle name, e. g. Jill Duggar Dillard. Some women keep their names. It's weird in families as Patriarchal as the Bates and Clarks that Katie isn't Katie Bates Clark on social media. 

[marmalade]

So, the Lord delivered a Tesla to Trav. They apparently plan to use it for the family car (with a white interior). 

Brilliant. 

Evan must be seething. 😂

[Keys]

4 minutes ago, marmalade said:

So, the Lord delivered a Tesla to Trav. They apparently plan to use it for the family car (with a white interior). 

Brilliant. 

Evan must be seething. 😂

I don’t understand how they could afford that 🤔

[marmalade]

22 minutes ago, Keys said:

I don’t understand how they could afford that 🤔

They claim it is used. Looked pretty new, though.

[HideousGreenShirt]

Is this like how santa God delivered Pecan and Pris an RV? 

Damn, maybe I should look into this vehicle-gifting cult. 

[Keys]

1 hour ago, marmalade said:

They claim it is used. Looked pretty new, though.

I mean, still! Especially right now with the car shortages, used cars that are relatively new are still going for much higher prices than in the past. We were just in need of a new car after one of ours became unsafe to drive, and the prices for used cars were honestly not much less than the brand new ones. So I still don’t get how someone who doesn’t work and someone who literally just graduated college could afford that 🤔

[Bluebirdbluebell]

57 minutes ago, HideousGreenShirt said:

Is this like how santa God delivered Pecan and Pris an RV? 

Damn, maybe I should look into this vehicle-gifting cult. 

🎵"Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz?..."

 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 hours ago, Keys said:

I mean, still! Especially right now with the car shortages, used cars that are relatively new are still going for much higher prices than in the past. We were just in need of a new car after one of ours became unsafe to drive, and the prices for used cars were honestly not much less than the brand new ones. So I still don’t get how someone who doesn’t work and someone who literally just graduated college could afford that 🤔

His parents have money. I have no doubt he “works” for the family and gets paid a ridiculously high salary for someone his age and educational background. 

[Satan'sFortress]

19 hours ago, Keys said:

I mean, still! Especially right now with the car shortages, used cars that are relatively new are still going for much higher prices than in the past. We were just in need of a new car after one of ours became unsafe to drive, and the prices for used cars were honestly not much less than the brand new ones. So I still don’t get how someone who doesn’t work and someone who literally just graduated college could afford that 🤔

We are down a car as well and have been trying to find a used car for under $10,000. The ones we have found in that price range are more than 20 years old and/or more than 200,000 miles! It is crazy.  Used Tesla. SMH. We'd take a used Edsel at this point.

[SassyPants]

These people do not live in our reality. Too bad I’m old because I would love to see where these couples are at my age (mid 60s).

[Jackie3]

14 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

His parents have money. I have no doubt he “works” for the family and gets paid a ridiculously high salary for someone his age and educational background. 

I've never understood how posters "know" this without seeing their tax returns. Appearances can be deceiving. Owning a big house -- even a college -- doesn't mean you are rich, necessarily. A college near me just went bankrupt, and it's easy to be underwater on a house.

Edited September 4, 2022 by Jackie3

[Keys]

2 hours ago, Satan'sFortress said:

We are down a car as well and have been trying to find a used car for under $10,000. The ones we have found in that price range are more than 20 years old and/or more than 200,000 miles! It is crazy.  Used Tesla. SMH. We'd take a used Edsel at this point.

Oh yeah no kidding! We actually ended up deciding to lease, and got very lucky because one of the dealerships had a car coming in that wasn’t spoken for yet, so we were able to get it within a month. Less money up front (though more overall), and we liked that it was reliable and we wouldn’t have to worry about tires falling off or exhaust coming in through the vents (which was where we were at with the old car, and with a newborn that was a big no, lol)

[neuroticcat]

18 hours ago, SassyPants said:

These people do not live in our reality. Too bad I’m old because I would love to see where these couples are at my age (mid 60s).

I'm curious to know where they'll be even in 10 years. Statistically many of them will deconstruct, but it will be interesting to see if they are an anomaly to Christian subculture b/c of their fame. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

15 minutes ago, neuroticcat said:

I'm curious to know where they'll be even in 10 years. Statistically many of them will deconstruct, but it will be interesting to see if they are an anomaly to Christian subculture b/c of their fame. 

I think a lot of the Bates kids will make their own paths in the world. Some already kind of are. However I am afraid that Katie will still be living similarly in 10 years. While I think a lot of her siblings will be living differently. If they have to rely on Travis’s family for his job and their livelihood, they won’t be as able to branch out. 

[monkeyrocks71]

5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think a lot of the Bates kids will make their own paths in the world. Some already kind of are. However I am afraid that Katie will still be living similarly in 10 years. While I think a lot of her siblings will be living differently. If they have to rely on Travis’s family for his job and their livelihood, they won’t be as able to branch out. 

You would think that with as many kids as most of these couples end up having (or seem on trend to have), they would actually encourage all the women to get *some* sort of education/training for gainful employment, just in case something happens to the "breadwinner".  Do Kelly Jo and Gil really want to be supporting a dozen grandkids for 18 plus years? There are jobs where you can do them very part-time to keep up your credentials (nursing, teaching, I'm guessing cosmetology), but, if the family was ever in the situation where the wife needed to work (death, job loss, illness/injury, incarceration *cough cough*), she would be able to.  I actually agree (to an extent) that living on one income is smart, especially when kids are young, because if something happens to that one income, you have the other adult who can hopefully step in and pick up at least part of the slack.  But, nope.  Not to be cruel, but, we've seen some of the fundie parents die young-ish (Derrick's dad, The Bates-in-Law whose mom died when he was a kid, etc.).  It happens, even to "super-godly" people. And it's a lot easier to get your education/training when you're 18 with no kids than it is at 40 with eight or ten kids.

Edited September 5, 2022 by monkeyrocks71

[freethemall]

On 8/18/2022 at 4:50 AM, CarrotCake said:

Does that change on your medical record as well?

Of course I am in a different country but I cannot imagine it is very efficient if names on medical records etc. change after marriage. It must be a mess to connect records from before and after. 

But over here your legal name does not change at all, passports also always keep the maiden name as a last name. You can just change the way the government addresses you.

Yes, if you change it on government docs you have to change it everywhere - health providers, insurance,  banks, etc. Otherwise if you were to provide your ID they wouldn't match. It's not just how you're addressed, it is truly your new name and yes,  it is a headache to change it everywhere! But generally places have a process to do it quickly. 

[ven]

3 hours ago, freethemall said:

Yes, if you change it on government docs you have to change it everywhere - health providers, insurance,  banks, etc. Otherwise if you were to provide your ID they wouldn't match. It's not just how you're addressed, it is truly your new name and yes,  it is a headache to change it everywhere! But generally places have a process to do it quickly. 

I still find that concept extremely odd. In my neck of the woods there is no name changing. Not now and not 200 years ago. Its like leaving your identity after you marry. Why would anyone want that?

[arareyeah]

10 hours ago, ven said:

I still find that concept extremely odd. In my neck of the woods there is no name changing. Not now and not 200 years ago. Its like leaving your identity after you marry. Why would anyone want that?

Same here. But maybe because my country is predominantly Muslims. It is forbidden in Islam to adopt husband's name after marriage and vice versa. Legally you can do that, but it requires going to the court, which I guess most of us too lazy to bother because it's not tradition anyway. Socially, people do tho. Like putting it as their social media name. And because surname is not a thing here and most people call each other by their first name, some ladies will be called Mrs. Their Name + Husband's First Name. Mrs. Katie Travis, for example, or just Mrs. Travis.

I personally don't, and whenever someone tried to call me as Mrs. ArareyeahHusband, I won't respond and gave them a menacing glare instead. My husband finds my disdain amusing. 😂😂😂

[JermajestyDuggar]

10 hours ago, ven said:

I still find that concept extremely odd. In my neck of the woods there is no name changing. Not now and not 200 years ago. Its like leaving your identity after you marry. Why would anyone want that?

I am not saying it’s amazing or perfect but it’s not that bad! Sheesh. 

I genuinely don’t give a single shit if Jane Doe changes her name to Jane Doe Smith, Jane Doe-Smith, Jane Smith or never changes it at all. All I care about is it being the woman’s choice and nothing being forced on her if she doesn’t want it. I honestly don’t know why anyone would care what some other woman chooses for her last name. 

Edited September 5, 2022 by JermajestyDuggar

[JDuggs]

About the name changing, I think that people from other countries and customs are surprised that people from seemingly progressive areas are still so tied into such a patriarchal custom. I think women who change their names are more about the custom of sharing a name with their “new” family.

I didn’t change my name when I got married, but I had no angst about giving my kids my husband’s last name. So I guess I escaped the patriarchy, but still trapped my kids in it. Some people very much feel their name is part of their identity, others don’t.