(CW: Child Sex Abuse) Josh & Anna 29: Left with Nothing but a Flip Phone Full of Shame

[HerNameIsBuffy]

7 minutes ago, OrchidBlossom said:

Read in that DailyMail article that apparently the Reber's son married a woman with the same name as his sister. Not really relevant to Josh at all, but it kind of made me laugh. I can't imagine being intimate with someone who has the same name as a close relative of mine.

I have the same name as my ex's sister....it's not that weird.  He was always able to tell us apart  

[bettertomarry]

Procedural question:

Plea deal means no public sentencing and therefore no character witnesses? Or is that entirely up to the Judge (thinking the Larry Nassau case)?

[Alisamer]

9 minutes ago, OrchidBlossom said:

Read in that DailyMail article that apparently the Reber's son married a woman with the same name as his sister. Not really relevant to Josh at all, but it kind of made me laugh. I can't imagine being intimate with someone who has the same name as a close relative of mine.

Have you come across the Maxwells? There are three Annas!

[Antimony]

5 minutes ago, Jackie3 said:

Interestingly, in the UK I believe it's the opposite. He is guilty until proven innocent.

Not true. The UK has made some erosions on the presumption of innocence, but it's still their foundation. (Erosions involve things like past convictions, police statements, but to the degree that might not be admitted in US courts.) 

There are some countries that do practice presumed guilt (Japan is one) but it isn't the most common legal basis.

[Jackie3]

3 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

I know it's hard to believe but maybe if there's more awareness about it, the "unbelievable" will make more people aware so that victims are believed. While women have offended, it's far more rare compared to male offenders:

More awareness of it? There's tons of awareness of it. Heck, even when I was growing up in the 70's I can remember awareness of it. There are books (starting with A Courage to Heal), support groups, therapists who specialize in this, treatment modalities, research articles, you name it. It's a horribly destructive and disgusting trauma, but there is support for survivors available and has been for a while.

I work in the mental health field, and believe me, the father/perpetrator is quite a common scenario. It is very tragic. I hope the M kids were spared.

And yes, men are more often the perpetrators, but you'd be surprised how many "mothers" commit sexual abuse as well.

Edited May 6, 2021 by Jackie3

[OrchidBlossom]

3 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

I have the same name as my ex's sister....it's not that weird.  He was always able to tell us apart  

Haha I mean I did once date a guy with the same name as my dad, but I was in high school and we didn't get hot and heavy so it wasn't so bad, but I still found it too weird for my tastes. I have a friend who is married to her best friend's brother, and the two of them had the same name (slightly different spellings) and also lived together for years. So, I know not everyone hates it as much as I do 

4 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

Have you come across the Maxwells? There are three Annas!

Yep. Weirds me out! Lol

[bettertomarry]

4 hours ago, Alisamer said:

It probably depends? My Apple watch doesn't have cell capacity and is wifi only, but when within bluetooth range of my phone can do many things a cellphone can do like answer/make calls and texts. I don't think it has a browser, though. (Although you can ask Siri questions that might bring up a link you can click on to see a wikipedia page or something.) It gives me weather and news alerts and stuff too. (Also it can call for help if I fall or have a car accident - I have it set to text my family with my location and then I think it will call 911 - it does this if it detects a "hard fall" and you don't move afterward and don't tell it you're OK after several notifications. It's like the up-to-date cooler version of the med-alert things!)

My fitbit couldn't do much of anything other than give me notifications, really. 

So a smart watch without cell capability with no cellphone nearby would rely on Wifi - if they locked him out of the Reber's wifi (assuming they have internet access), it would be extremely limited in capability I'd think. I highly doubt he could watch porn on it, at least*. With no internet capability it'd basically be a watch and fitness tracker only I'd think. 

*Unless he was dumb enough to put porn images as watch screen backgrounds. You can make any image a background for the Apple watch anyway. 

Thanks for clarifying.  It's what I suspected but wasn't sure.

Have a present:

 

[luv2laugh]

7 minutes ago, Jackie3 said:

More awareness of it? There's tons of awareness of it. Heck, even when I was growing up in the 70's I can remember awareness of it. There are books (starting with A Courage to Heal), support groups, therapists who specialize in this, treatment modalities, research articles, you name it. It's a horribly destructive and disgusting trauma, but there is support for survivors available and has been for a while.

I work in the mental health field, and believe me, the father/perpetrator is quite a common scenario. It is very tragic. I hope the M kids were spared.

And yes, men are more often the perpetrators, but you'd be surprised how many "mothers" commit sexual abuse as well.

The media has a notorious history of promoting stories of the theme  "stranger danger". There are always stories about the coach, the teacher, etc. The vast majority of the public does not want to imagine about the problem possibly being closer.
I like the article in psychology today regarding the media's misrepresentation of the problem: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-justice-and-responsibility-league/201305/most-sex-offenders-against-children-are-family

 

Edited May 6, 2021 by luv2laugh

[HerNameIsBuffy]

7 minutes ago, Jackie3 said:

And yes, men are more often the perpetrators, but you'd be surprised how many "mothers" commit sexual abuse as well.

Can you link to stats on this?  I'm curious.

1 minute ago, bettertomarry said:

Thanks for clarifying.  It's what I suspected but wasn't sure.

Have a present:

 

I don't even know how to process that much cuteness!

[ADoyle90815]

[nokidsmom]

8 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

They should have left him in jail.

Something tells me that JB might come to agree with this.   Because just as Anna failed to supervise / hold him accountable (FWIW I do not believe that it was her responsibility at all to basically babysit her husband, who is an adult, to behave like a decent human being, but going along with the fundie idea of accountability here for the sake of argument) the Rebers are likely to fail in this too IMHO.  Mr. Reber will likely be away most of the time for work.   Mrs. Reber is not on board and neither she (and presumably her daughter) have any idea of what making sure Joshley stays on the straight and narrow entails in part because they don't have the full picture of what Joshley has done.  And yet he is coming into their home. And once the parole officer gets one whiff of Joshley falling out of line with his terms of release and it doesn't sound like it would take much, his ass will be going straight to jail.

[feministxtian]

Have a picture of my poor Luke...he's so stressed out

[ifosterkittens]

5 hours ago, bettertomarry said:

Do smart watches/Apple watches count as 'internet'?

I would guess anything that has the capacity to connect to the internet is considered internet and off limits. Per Emily Baker's video (thanks to whoever linked it) the judge said Josh could get a jitterbug phone that has the ability to call and text only. Josh is allowed to go to a few select places (work, church, medical and attorney appointments), and those places could have wifi, so I would think he can't have any device that could access it. 

[DancingPhalanges]

Josh is out and on his way to the Rebers. 
 

https://www.nwahomepage.com/northwest-arkansas-news/josh-duggar-released-from-jail-after-being-charged-with-possessing-child-porn/.                                          
 

*Edit to add the video shows Josh Duggar leaving the detention facility and getting into a black Chevrolet  suburban. Many journalists surrounding him taking pics. 

Edited May 6, 2021 by DancingPhalanges

[FluffySnowball]

45 minutes ago, luv2laugh said:

I hope JB & Michelle would offer Mrs. Reber's daughter to room & board with Jana & the other girls for the time being if she wants to but who knows? I wonder if JB is allowing the piano lesson locations to be moved to TTH. IMO, that's the least he could do.

You’re right, though I personally wouldn’t like to move in with the family that enabled this monster. But then, I would want to live with Josh even less so... 

[NancyDrewFan1989]

16 hours ago, WarriorJane said:

Well frankly,  where else would she be?  

Honestly I feel like the M kids and the TTH kids (all kids really) are safer from Josh than they've ever been.  He will never be alone and all eyes are on him now. 

They are safer away from Josh, the farther they are from him the better. The only problem I see is that Anna, probably, still trusts Josh and leave them alone in a room with them or something like that. All eyes may be on Josh, but from the way the it looks to me Josh is trying to pin this on someone else.

I keep reading that Josiah was there the day of the raid on Fundie Wonderland on FB. There are some people who are starting to speculate that Josh is going to try and rollover on Josiah or one of his younger brothers to help him get out of this. I know during the questioning Josh's lawyer asked something along the lines of if the agent could prove Josh is the one who viewed the horrific images even though they were downloaded on his work computer. Also, Josh did say his family members have access to his work computer, like Josiah who apparently worked with him. I'm not a fan of Josiah and Lauren, but I really hope Josh doesn't try to pin the blame on them for his mess. And yes, I do believe Josh viewed the horrific and sickening images.

[nokidsmom]

11 minutes ago, FluffySnowball said:

You’re right, though I personally wouldn’t like to move in with the family that enabled this monster. But then, I would want to live with Josh even less so... 

Lesser of two evils I suppose.  

While I think offering room/board and a place to give lessons for the duration seems nice/fair enough it doesn't take into account that, as some posters here have pointed out, some folks might not be inclined to continue with lessons with someone, even if by completely innocent association, is seen as involved with harboring a creep like Josh.

Sure there's those people in the church / family circles that believe in forgiveness, innocent until proven guilty, second chances, etc. etc. but I don't believe it's everyone.   Especially if JB had to get a family that he and J'chelle have only known a few years which is interesting considering they have lived in the area all their lives.  Seems that they should have had some longer term friendships to fall back on or favors to call out here if they wanted.   Something tells me they can't be that popular and this latest scandal sure can't help. 

 

Edited May 6, 2021 by nokidsmom

[PennySycamore]

@MarblesMom, you posted a picture of your dogs wearing button down shirts some pages back.  I've been an absolute sucker for dogs in button downs ever since we dressed our childhood dog, Sandy, in one.  They are so freakin' cute!

[Coconut Flan]

3 hours ago, seraaa said:

For example, I'm sure we'd all say that the Duggar kidults are beholden to Jim Bob in a way that is...not great. But that doesn't mean that everyone who works for a family business is equally stuck. The Duggars are a special case because they've been brought up to be dependent on the system and would have a harder time walking away.

I was dissing the Duggars and their years of parenting advice.  I didn't think I had to explain that in detail on a Josh is likely a criminal thread. 

[Antimony]

13 minutes ago, FluffySnowball said:

You’re right, though I personally wouldn’t like to move in with the family that enabled this monster. But then, I would want to live with Josh even less so... 

(Below are goofy ideas! I jest, I jest, I'm just saying the Rebers are missing an opportunity here.)

We're not thinking outside the box enough. You don't have to live with Josh, he has to live with you. If it's my guest room...oh gosh that's also my room where I keep my 20 tanks of crickets. Oh dear, sorry, we don't have another room for the crickets. He has to eat my groceries? Weird I stopped using seasonsings, it's a low-salt thing. Do most people not play music in the style of psychological war crimes to interrupt sleep? Weird, sorry Josh, that's house rules. Oh is that noise annoying? Sorry, I'm doing a live audio shadow cast for Psycho and I need to practice my Hitchcockian violin screeches. You can't sleep? Sorry, we're moonlighting as Foley artists now. Oh no I just had to turn off the hot water...oh by gosh golly gee.

[Not that josh's mom]

How far from the Rebers do the Duggars live? 

Can Josh have other visitors besides Anna and the M kids?

He's not overly ambitious so what will he do all day?

Edited May 6, 2021 by Not that josh's mom
more questions

[nokidsmom]

1 minute ago, Antimony said:

(Below are goofy ideas! I jest, I jest, I'm just saying the Rebers are missing an opportunity here.)

We're not thinking outside the box enough. You don't have to live with Josh, he has to live with you. If it's my guest room...oh gosh that's also my room where I keep my 20 tanks of crickets. Oh dear, sorry, we don't have another room for the crickets. He has to eat my groceries? Weird I stopped using seasonsings, it's a low-salt thing. Do most people not play music in the style of psychological war crimes to interrupt sleep? Weird, sorry Josh, that's house rules. Oh is that noise annoying? Sorry, I'm doing a live audio shadow cast for Psycho and I need to practice my Hitchcockian violin screeches. You can't sleep? Sorry, we're moonlighting as Foley artists now. Oh no I just had to turn off the hot water...oh by gosh golly gee.

Or...."Oh my, I forgot to mention that the extra housing space is the doghouse."

[FiveAcres]

Here is another present: a burrowing Boston:

Spoiler

 

[AliceInFundyland]

1 hour ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Not fair to the daughter for sure.  But the parents are choosing to do this so any disruption they brought upon themselves.  Petty, but I hope he's a total pain in the ass for them.  Complains about the food, leaves his towels on the floor, doesn't use coasters, feet on the coffee table, raids the fridge and eats whatever she was planning to make for dinner.  And hope he leaves a little glob of toothpaste in the sink whenever he brushes that he won't bother to rinse out so his hosts have to scrape it off themselves.  I hope he tries to fry something greasy without a splatter guard and she thinks of her Christian duty to him as she scrubs her kitchen.  

 

 

Don't forget peeing all over the toilet/floor. Cause you know he's that asshole.

[neuroticcat]

1 hour ago, fundiefan said:

I thought they said in the hearing yesterday they'd do to the lessons somewhere else?

I think Jim Bob should pay for studio rental for her & her students to do lessons in safety & privacy. It is, after all, he & his sex predator offsping who are responsible for them uprooting their lives; their 22 year old daughter had even less say than the wife. 

If Jim Bob has anything resembling a human bone in his body, he will make sure those lessons go uninterrupted & untouched by his son's existence.

I’d guess that she is a SAHD who gives piano lessons to church families - maybe even the Duggar kids. I imagine it’s not a huge clientele or studio, honestly, though it could be wrong.

However far in fundies are, I’m pretty sure they are aware it sounds weird to have a homemaker empty nest woman AND an unemployed SAHD doing ??? 
 

Giving private piano lessons can mean a lot of things and is one of the few semi marketable skills many SAHD have but it doesn’t mean she has a business or even gets paid.