Dillards 89: I'd Watch a Netflix Xpecial and so Would My Mom

[HerNameIsBuffy]

Continued from here.  Thanks @hand holder for the thread title.

 

 

Edited May 3, 2021 by Coconut Flan

[hand holder]

14 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Continued from here.  Thanks @hand holder for the thread title.

 

 

I actually laughed at the thread title. We are definitely true crime docu-series junkies!

[HerNameIsBuffy]

Just now, hand holder said:

I actually laughed at the thread title. We are definitely true crime docu-series junkies!

I was scrolling looking for something funny and you left this right there for me on the last page - thanks!

[ContrastingButtons]

Love the title!  ? 

[EmCatlyn]

Forgive my laziness in not reading through the past two or three years of Dillard news, but I would greatly appreciate a summary of how Jill and Derick seem to have evolved away from the Duggar mindset.

The last time I was here, Derrick and Jill had just stopped being on “Counting On.” Derrick was saying nasty things about gays, and trans and Jill was just Jill.

Now I read that they sued JB for Jill’s share of the reality show profits, that the family is essentially shunning her, that she has gone into therapy and that maybe she supports Kamala Harris.  Oh, and is Derrick really going to law school?

A summary confirming and expanding on the above would be much appreciated. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

43 minutes ago, EmCatlyn said:

Forgive my laziness in not reading through the past two or three years of Dillard news, but I would greatly appreciate a summary of how Jill and Derick seem to have evolved away from the Duggar mindset.

The last time I was here, Derrick and Jill had just stopped being on “Counting On.” Derrick was saying nasty things about gays, and trans and Jill was just Jill.

Now I read that they sued JB for Jill’s share of the reality show profits, that the family is essentially shunning her, that she has gone into therapy and that maybe she supports Kamala Harris.  Oh, and is Derrick really going to law school?

A summary confirming and expanding on the above would be much appreciated. 

I don't know about supporting Kamala Harris. The rest of it is definitely true.  Jill and Derick have also shared that they using non-hormonal methods to prevent pregnancy, although they both want more kids. Jill will 30 soon and Derick is graduating law school soon.

Edited May 4, 2021 by Bluebirdbluebell

[EmCatlyn]

18 minutes ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

I don't know about supporting Kamala Harris. The rest of it is definitely true.  Jill and Derick have also shared that they using non-hormonal methods to prevent pregnancy, although they both want more kids. Jill will 30 soon and Derick is graduating law school soon.

Thanks.  There were a couple of messages posted around inauguration day that  speculated she was supportive of Harris (as first female VP?) and that her MIL wouldn’t like it.  That discussion also mentioned Jill was in therapy.  What is the background to that?  Did she imply  it was because of the molestation?  Her failure to have vaginal births? Her relationship with her parents?  She was JB’s favorite, wasn’t she?

Edited May 4, 2021 by EmCatlyn

[coffeebean7]

Derick's tweets in the last hour-ish have been interesting (where he is replying to others). He's basically saying that they were called greedy by JB for wanting to be compensated. Not totally brand new information but it's still interesting to hear him talk about it.

ETA - you've probably all been talking about his tweets as they have been going for a few days and now I see that. I have been trying to keep up with the sex abuse thread.

Edited May 4, 2021 by coffeebean7

[marmalade]

10 minutes ago, EmCatlyn said:

Thanks.  There were a couple of messages posted around inauguration day that  speculated she was supportive of Harris (as first female VP?) and that her MIL wouldn’t like it.  That discussion also mentioned Jill was in therapy.  What is the background to that?  Did she imply  it was because of the molestation?  Her failure to have vaginal births? Her relationship with her parents?  She was JB’s favorite, wasn’t she?

Jill has shared that she is learning to set boundaries thanks to her therapy. She really hasn't shared more than that. Of course, we know what TBE boundaries are about. She's had to learn how to compartmentalize her own family. 

[ExTeach713]

6 hours ago, EmCatlyn said:

Forgive my laziness in not reading through the past two or three years of Dillard news, but I would greatly appreciate a summary of how Jill and Derick seem to have evolved away from the Duggar mindset.

The last time I was here, Derrick and Jill had just stopped being on “Counting On.” Derrick was saying nasty things about gays, and trans and Jill was just Jill.

Now I read that they sued JB for Jill’s share of the reality show profits, that the family is essentially shunning her, that she has gone into therapy and that maybe she supports Kamala Harris.  Oh, and is Derrick really going to law school?

A summary confirming and expanding on the above would be much appreciated. 

I’ll add to the answers you already got that Israel is in public school, which I think is an enormous step. Think of all the ideas, cultures, and different beliefs he will be exposed to that were kept from his mother and Duggar relatives! 

Jill and Derrick have made some Q&A videos, and I think they’re an interesting glimpse into where they are as a family and especially where Jill is in her self-discovery and distancing from some of her parents’ horrible practices. The Dillards are raising their children significantly differently than JB & Michelle. I hope some of her siblings follow suit.

[seraaa]

5 hours ago, coffeebean7 said:

Derick's tweets in the last hour-ish have been interesting (where he is replying to others). He's basically saying that they were called greedy by JB for wanting to be compensated. Not totally brand new information but it's still interesting to hear him talk about it.

ETA - you've probably all been talking about his tweets as they have been going for a few days and now I see that. I have been trying to keep up with the sex abuse thread.

How on earth did JB and Michelle justify taking money from the network but witholding it from the kids? Did they not view it as payment for labour? Seems totally reasonable for Jill and Derick to ask to control the share of the money that they helped earn.

Jill's name was in the title of the show, and we all know that the eldest daughters are the big draw, but you're telling her she's "greedy" for wanting direct access to money she earned?

7 hours ago, EmCatlyn said:

Forgive my laziness in not reading through the past two or three years of Dillard news, but I would greatly appreciate a summary of how Jill and Derick seem to have evolved away from the Duggar mindset.

The last time I was here, Derrick and Jill had just stopped being on “Counting On.” Derrick was saying nasty things about gays, and trans and Jill was just Jill.

Now I read that they sued JB for Jill’s share of the reality show profits, that the family is essentially shunning her, that she has gone into therapy and that maybe she supports Kamala Harris.  Oh, and is Derrick really going to law school?

A summary confirming and expanding on the above would be much appreciated. 

The political stuff is all speculation, but Jill and Derick are making autonomous decisions for their family apart from what *her* family would wish them to do. They've made their own decision about schooling, and Jill has talked about attending therapy and learning about boundaries etc

Edited May 4, 2021 by seraaa

[Topaz]

The speculation about Kamala Harris came about because Jill posted a picture of herself wearing Chucks on Inauguration Day. 

[carmenp97]

Just dropping in for a break from the Smuggar thread to say how refreshingly healthy I found it to see pics on Instagram of Israel and Sam playing in the mud. Jill gets to post stuff like this while the rest of the family is going down in a dumpster fire because she and Derrick are working on being better than the cult.

[purple_summer]

She also posted about the importance of community, so I’d assume she’s being supported by her new friends right now. 

9 hours ago, EmCatlyn said:

A summary confirming and expanding on the above would be much appreciated. 

• The dillards were eventually compensated for Jill’s years on the show. We’ve never confirmed a lawsuit but Derrick did mention “legal action”. 
• They’re not allowed in the TTH unsupervised or without permission 
• Jill got a nose ring, wears reasonably modern shorts/swimsuits 
• D is in law school (graduating soon) and drives for DoorDash as extra income 
• Izzy’s in public school and seems to enjoy it 
• J & D have spoken about attending therapy. Jill follows some secular therapists on Instagram 
• They have black friends who like them enough to spend time in their home 
• J has stated that some siblings don’t approve of her current life, others don’t care 
• they seem to be taking Covid seriously
• The chucks post seemed neutral-positive, as opposed to, well, Jan 6th
• They drink publicly/socially 
  
  Tl;dr the Dillards overall seem to be functioning more as average conservative-leaning Christians. They’re definitely the most “free” of the bunch. I second the recommendation to watch their Q&A videos. 

[fluffernutter]

@EmCatlyn If I remember right, I also think Derrick said he would be fine with Jill working outside the home. (Sad that he has to say that at all, but given her family, it's a step in the right direction).

Edited May 4, 2021 by fluffernutter
grammar

[SassyPants]

4 hours ago, ExTeach713 said:

I’ll add to the answers you already got that Israel is in public school, which I think is an enormous step. Think of all the ideas, cultures, and different beliefs he will be exposed to that were kept from his mother and Duggar relatives! 

Jill and Derrick have made some Q&A videos, and I think they’re an interesting glimpse into where they are as a family and especially where Jill is in her self-discovery and distancing from some of her parents’ horrible practices. The Dillards are raising their children significantly differently than JB & Michelle. I hope some of her siblings follow suit.

Think of the EDUCATION that the Izzy is receiving that the M kids are not , and that the other Duggar associated kids will not!

3 hours ago, carmenp97 said:

Just dropping in for a break from the Smuggar thread to say how refreshingly healthy I found it to see pics on Instagram of Israel and Sam playing in the mud. Jill gets to post stuff like this while the rest of the family is going down in a dumpster fire because she and Derrick are working on being better than the cult.

And although the Josh debacle likely really saddens Jill, in the back of her mind there has to be some affirmation that the changes  she has made and the path she and DD have chosen is the better way to live. 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

Jill and Derick own their own home, which was built for them as part of a new development. (Not the usual Duggar renovation of a run-down place they bought cheap.) We don’t know where they got the money, but it was speculated that Jim Bob paid them a settlement so that they wouldn’t sue for compensation for their work on Counting On. Anyway, they’re out of Jim Bob’s “be good and I’ll loan you a house” system.

They continue to be invited to weddings, and some larger social events, but they don’t seem to be at the TTH much. (Some of that impression is created because they no longer appear on Counting On.) Jill has been seen with Michelle occasionally, but she hasn’t appeared in a social media photo with Jim Bob in a long time.

[HarryPotterFan]

12 hours ago, coffeebean7 said:

Derick's tweets in the last hour-ish have been interesting (where he is replying to others). He's basically saying that they were called greedy by JB for wanting to be compensated. Not totally brand new information but it's still interesting to hear him talk about it.

ETA - you've probably all been talking about his tweets as they have been going for a few days and now I see that. I have been trying to keep up with the sex abuse thread.

JB calling someone else greedy....pot meet kettle. Or to mix metaphors, the pot lives in a glass house and is throwing stones at the kettle.

[hand holder]

3 hours ago, purple_summer said:

She also posted about the importance of community, so I’d assume she’s being supported by her new friends right now. 

• The dillards were eventually compensated for Jill’s years on the show. We’ve never confirmed a lawsuit but Derrick did mention “legal action”. 
• They’re not allowed in the TTH unsupervised or without permission 
• Jill got a nose ring, wears reasonably modern shorts/swimsuits 
• D is in law school (graduating soon) and drives for DoorDash as extra income 
• Izzy’s in public school and seems to enjoy it 
• J & D have spoken about attending therapy. Jill follows some secular therapists on Instagram 
• They have black friends who like them enough to spend time in their home 
• J has stated that some siblings don’t approve of her current life, others don’t care 
• they seem to be taking Covid seriously
• The chucks post seemed neutral-positive, as opposed to, well, Jan 6th
• They drink publicly/socially 
  
  Tl;dr the Dillards overall seem to be functioning more as average conservative-leaning Christians. They’re definitely the most “free” of the bunch. I second the recommendation to watch their Q&A videos. 

I wanted to add to this that they have both stated they do not want their children living with them until marriage. Specifically they would want an adult daughter to live on her own vs living with them "forever".

[SeekingAdventure]

have you mentionned yet, that they said they use birth control?

[EmCatlyn]

Thanks everyone for the update.  Amazing that Jill is becoming the sanest of the bunch. (What a difference a husband makes!)  We always wondered about D’s commitment to extreme fundie life, and in the end (after his fling with trying to save Central Americans for Jesus) it seems we were right.

This doesn’t make it okay that he is a bigot about gays and trans, but definitely raises hope that his kids won’t be.  (I know tons of families where that has happened.)  Public school for the kids is great.  Maybe Jill will become motivated to improve her education and maybe get into nursing in the end.

8 minutes ago, SeekingAdventure said:

have you mentionned yet, that they said they use birth control?

Someone did — and it is really great too.  I guess after the two c-sections she had extra motivation, but it also reflects an understanding that just having children is not her main purpose in life. Good for them.

[haroldtheyrefundies]

25 minutes ago, SeekingAdventure said:

have you mentionned yet, that they said they use birth control?

Not only that - but Jill has mentioned that she now believes that you don't have to have as many kids as physically possible. It's okay if as a couple you want to wait to have kids. That's a pretty big deal for someone who was told that she needs to have as many kids as God allows. 

""I think you need to do what's healthiest and best for your family," says Jill, adding that she and Derick, 31, rely on "non-hormonal birth control" such as various barrier methods." - Jill for People Mag last October. 

[SassyPants]

19 minutes ago, haroldtheyrefundies said:

Not only that - but Jill has mentioned that she now believes that you don't have to have as many kids as physically possible. It's okay if as a couple you want to wait to have kids. That's a pretty big deal for someone who was told that she needs to have as many kids as God allows. 

""I think you need to do what's healthiest and best for your family," says Jill, adding that she and Derick, 31, rely on "non-hormonal birth control" such as various barrier methods." - Jill for People Mag last October. 

I am glad that Jill has evolved her thinking and beliefs to this point, but how sad that she and DD couldn’t have discussed family planning before they wed, and used BC accordingly. 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

2 hours ago, EmCatlyn said:

This doesn’t make it okay that he is a bigot about gays and trans, but definitely raises hope that his kids won’t be.  

Bring on the downvotes; I’m going to defend Derick here. He didn’t express himself well, and it was none of his business, but he was attacking a reality show about a young trans person that was on the same network that he had just left acrimoniously. His main target was TLC. He also expressed the opinion that gender reassignment surgery is a major decision that should be made after a person reaches adulthood. I don’t agree with him, but it’s not as bigoted a comment as people seem to think. As for gays, there was a recent Q&A where they were asked what they would do if they had a gay child, and IIRC, they said that they would still love him, and they avoided discussing gay marriage. By ATI standards, we might as well give them a rainbow flag and send them off to the pride march.

[EmCatlyn]

9 minutes ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

Bring on the downvotes; I’m going to defend Derick here. He didn’t express himself well, and it was none of his business, but he was attacking a reality show about a young trans person that was on the same network that he had just left acrimoniously. His main target was TLC. He also expressed the opinion that gender reassignment surgery is a major decision that should be made after a person reaches adulthood. I don’t agree with him, but it’s not as bigoted a comment as people seem to think. As for gays, there was a recent Q&A where they were asked what they would do if they had a gay child, and IIRC, they said that they would still love him, and they avoided discussing gay marriage. By ATI standards, we might as well give them a rainbow flag and send them off to the pride march.

Thanks for the clarification.  I have just been going by what people have been saying here (and in the media).  I thought he had been preaching anti-gay and anti-trans stuff. 

FWIW, people can get mad at me here because I agree that gender reassignment surgery should wait until adulthood. (I don’t oppose hormone treatments or other reversible procedures, and I would certainly support social re-assignation for a child who identified as trans.  But surgery should wait.)  In my state, you can’t get a tattoo, even with parental consent, until you are 18, and that seems reasonable to me.  The law is there, in part, to keep parents from sticking tattoos on their kids when the kids don’t know any better, and I do know one family that was so eager for their son to be gay or bi or trans (anything but cis-gender) that I would not have put it past them to encourage kid to think himself trans.  So yeah.  Surgery can wait until age 18.

Back to the Dillards, I am really glad to hear that Dereck is not as bigoted as some people paint him.  Jill does seem to have lucked out.