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Bro Gary Hawkins 17: Naschitti


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postscript

I’ll admit I didn’t make it through the whole basketball video, so I don’t know if Jesus made an on-court appearance. Neither of them is NBA (or even local pickup game) material.

At least Gary wasn’t elbowing his son out of the way, as Jim Bob would have done. And he has lost weight. I have little confidence he’ll keep it off, though.

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WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?
11 hours ago, thoughtful said:

I associate the name with an amazing musician, Earl Scruggs. There are certainly stereotypes attached to the name in the US, though, of poor folks from the Southeast.

Back in high school, I knew a family with the name, so it only has personal associations for me. I don't think it's a very common name in my area. 

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Four is Enough
20 hours ago, thoughtful said:

I associate the name with an amazing musician, Earl Scruggs. There are certainly stereotypes attached to the name in the US, though, of poor folks from the Southeast.

Was it you who told me that Steve Martin (a banjo player of no mean skill himself) gave part of the eulogy when Scruggs died? He inspired so many people to play banjo in a completely different way. Scruggs was a very talented human, also modest and self-effacing, but a leader in all the multi banjo ensembles he played in. He was, quite simply, amazing.

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thoughtful
4 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

Was it you who told me that Steve Martin (a banjo player of no mean skill himself) gave part of the eulogy when Scruggs died?

I remember posting about that, and I think it was here in Bro-Gary land.

4 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

Scruggs was a very talented human, also modest and self-effacing, but a leader in all the multi banjo ensembles he played in. He was, quite simply, amazing.

Absolutely. He also has has a place in my heart for the work he did after the height of his fame. He seemed to have what I refer to as "teacher brain." His clear enjoyment of quietly (well, he was personally quiet - the banjo was not!) guiding others, experimenting with different styles and working with younger musicians, whether they were famous or not, endeared him to me. His reason for splitting off from Flatt and forming his own band was that he loved working with his children, and felt lucky that they were actually very good musicians.

While I was looking for videos of him for the previous post, I found this:

http://earlscruggscenter.org/

and this blog post about it:

http://tedlehmann.blogspot.com/2014/04/we-first-came-to-shelby-nc-in-fall-of.html

Sounds like a great place.

Gary has posted. I thought the church was Baptist, but, going by Gary's capitalization of Friends, they may have been secretly Quaker.

Jacob had a good time with something belonging to the boys, and the capitalized Girls.

image.png.dc76ede26e0a3d3231880f50409154c6.png

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thoughtful

Gary is breaking in a new state:

Spoiler

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The video of Wednesday evening service at Choice Hill Baptist, Pahrump, NV begins when Gary comes up to preach.

I must say, Pahrump is an onomatopoetic name  for a town having a problem with homes sinking into the dust due to "poof dirt." "And, with a resounding 'pahrump' our house disappeared under the poof dirt!"

Nobody seems to want the comfy chairs tonight:

Spoiler

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https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalms+118%3A1-7&version=KJV

Pretty close to correct, for Gary. Gary says he listened to a recording of someone else preaching, and, while he never copies anyone else's message, 🙄 it inspired him to look at some verses in the Bible, and God put this message on his heart.

God is on our side.

We have laws, but the Lord is on our side no matter what the government says - go to church. He insults western drivers for speeding again.

 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalms+40%3A2&version=KJV

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalms+37%3A23&version=KJV

These are all unique readings, for Gary, but he says the same old crap he usually says after them, so there's nothing new to recap.

Instead of making a point, Gary mostly rattles off most of the 23rd Psalm.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+timothy+1%3A12&version=KJV

Gary doesn't deserve what he has. But, "when Jesus looks at me, He looks at hisself, He looks at His son, amen."

There you go again, Gary - which one is God and which one is Jesus, again?

Gary says he may get kicked out before he leaves the motel they're staying at, because he's going to leave some gospel tracts.

Gary, don't be a drama queen - they'll just go in the recycling.

He spins a fantasy of some gambler finding a tract in the "restaurant - restroom" or elevator, and giving his big winnings to the pastor for a new building.

Gary makes sure they know he lays down tracts on the urinals and commodes.

Someone in this congregation has (whether naturally or affected) a Western Geezer cackling laugh, straight out of central casting.

Gary claims that Becky yelled "Cain't you go somewhere and git a - pasture a church?!" at him yesterday or this morning.

He said (after joking that nobody would have him because he's too mean) that, if God can't take care of him on the road, He can't take care of him in a church.

"Mah God's bigger'n Joe Bahden! Ah'm not preachin' politics - mah God's bigger'n any politician, amen!"

Psalms 41:11 - KJV: By this I know that thou favourest me, because mine enemy doth not triumph over me.
Bro Gary Version: Bah this ah know that thou favoureth me, becowse mahn enemies does not trumfet over me.

Some sort of repeated alarm-like sound goes off as Gary is telling them that watching TV will make them fearful. Nobody is responding, so I guess it's another sound Gary's phone is making for me, but not for any of them.

Gary does his whole Covid spiel. He won't bad-mouth you for taking the shots, but he doesn't believe any shots work, so he's not getting one. Gary brags that he's only had the flu 2-3 times in his 48 years.

I've never had it Gary, and I've got about 20 years on you - wonder if those shots I got every year helped at all.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalms+35%3A27&version=KJV

Mostly mangled.

He talks about gas prices, his diet, how he will never be rich, but God will supply his needs.

"Please don't let the people in North Carolina know ah'm stayin' in a casino amen."
Becky: "You're on Facebook."

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalms+73%3A26&version=KJV

Mangled, despite its brevity.

Gary is grateful for the strength of the Lord getting him through his busy schedule for the past few months. Yeah, Gary, you work so hard. 🙄

Gary says they should send their hard-working pastor on a vacation. Some wag calls out "a one-way trip!"

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalms+16%3A7&version=KJV

Gary says that the White House is trying to get rid of Dr. Seuss. That's the stupidest thing he's ever heard "So stinkin' stupid."

Well, that would be stupid - the busy members of our executive branch trying to "get rid of" a man who has been dead for 30 years. Of course, that bears no resemblance to what is happening, so I'm not too worried about it, Gary.

Gary hopes that Trump and wicked Pelosi get saved "She kin git rid of the witch broom and git God  amen?" But he gets his counsel from the Bible, not Trump, Pelosi or Seuss.

Be careful who you listen to. Gary talks about "some guy" he was talking to in Arizona, who had been listening to Steve Anderson on the Internet. He makes no point.

While Gary is insulting the non-KJV bibles, someone in the congregation refers to the NIV as the HIV. Charming. 🙄

Gary is disgusted by people who buy lottery tickets when they have children at home who need food and clothes. :bangheaddesk:

Going off-script, he confuses Ephesians and Galatians, then quotes Galatians, confusing reap and sow again.

Psalms 27:1 - KJV: The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
BGV: The Lord is mah light. And mah savior- and mah salvation; whom shall ah fear, the - whom shall ah fear. The Lord is mah - is the strength of my light of whom ah shall  be afraid.

You better make sure you're saved, the rich man is in Hell begging for one drop of water, reptobate. "We've got a buuuunch o' people today that make it easy, we got a buuuunch o' people that make it hard. Butchu know what? Jesus made it simple - simply believin' and receivin' and acceptin' what he done on an old rugged cross."

Anybody with a high school education can understand the KJV, but Gary's not sure there's a level of education that's high enough to understand the NIV (I think - some of this was drowned out by cackling geezer man).

The Jehovah's witness book ("it's not a bahble, it's a book) is even worse. It lit'rilly makes a mowk out of Hell.

Anyway, we're in the last days.

I guess the gimmick this time is that all of the readings, other than one from 1 Timothy, were from Psalms. Other than that, Gary still just did several of his usual bits.

Edited by thoughtful
correcting error
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CTRLZero
10 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Gary talks about "some guy" he was talking to in Arizona, who had been listening to Steve Anderson on the Internet.

I looked up Choice Hills Baptist on google maps, and a building labeled White Glove Ranch is located on the property.  When I looked up that facility, it led to a history of rodeos and race riots.  It would probably be Steve Anderson approved.  😬

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WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?
10 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Gary is breaking in a new state:

  Hide contents

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10 hours ago, thoughtful said:

He insults western drivers for speeding again.

Ah, but Bro Gary, at least Nevada drivers have their priorities straight!

Spoiler

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thoughtful

Potential embroidery alert!

Gary, my eye doesn't have a back (well, unless you mean the retina, but I doubt it).

 

Spoiler

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Rodney, shhhhh . . . you don't need to yell:

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thoughtful

Gary has done a live video while driving, because he needed us to know that he has been to California.

image.png.450b49e768c869eda3e0c99c7670a5f7.png

And, well - that's it. They drove into California. Gary says now they have to go back to Nevada. Jacob asks if they have been to Wisconsin - looks like he's keeping track of all of the states they have ever been in.

Becky points out a solar power farm.

ETA - Rhonda Bessinas (giggling pastor Mike's wife) makes what I assume is a Beverly Hillbillies joke:

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Edited by thoughtful
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Dana723
17 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Gary makes sure they know he lays down tracts on the urinals and commodes.

To be fair, they make good target practice.

18 hours ago, thoughtful said:

"Please don't let the people in North Carolina know ah'm stayin' in a casino amen."
Becky: "You're on Facebook."

Okay, that was funny.  One point for making me laugh, but minus 168,484 for all the other times I've either cringed or cried.

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thoughtful

Becky has updated her cover photo. I guess Gary wouldn't drive 4-5 hours to take her to the Pacific ocean, so she has settled for what she could see from near the Nevada border:

image.png.c882c4ce23e28b9fefdbb6dce4fbd56c.png

 

ETA - Gary won't actually preach in CA until 2022 - maybe (that could just be wishful thinking).  "Moat" of March, 2022 is booked:

Spoiler

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Edited by thoughtful
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Pecansforeveryone

Has Gary given any indication if he will be preaching anywhere in Nevada? I am kind of looking forward to bro Gary railing against Sin City. 

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Xan
1 hour ago, thoughtful said:

Gary has done a live video while driving, because he needed us to know that he has been to California.

image.png.450b49e768c869eda3e0c99c7670a5f7.png

And, well - that's it. They drove into California. Gary says now they have to go back to Nevada. Jacob asks if they have been to Wyoming - looks like he's keeping track of all of the states they have ever been in.

 

Do I spy a bandana around old Gary's neck?  Did he possibly have to pull something up over his face while out of the car in Nevada?  I thought he was so anti-mask that he was willing to be arrested.  C'mon, Gary.  We need details.

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thoughtful

  

1 hour ago, Pecansforeveryone said:

Has Gary given any indication if he will be preaching anywhere in Nevada? I am kind of looking forward to bro Gary railing against Sin City. 

He has already preached once in Nevada, and gambling references were made - mostly jokes. The recap is the fifth post on this page.

While I'm here - there's a new post.

Gary wants you people to stop focusing on Biden and pay attention to him - er, Jesus. Or possibly God - whichever one the FATHER is - he can never remember.

Hmmmm . . . uplifted Jesus? I always suspected he'd had some work done.

And O don't have time for that junk. Well, she was pretty busy in the 1970s, but I imagine she's slowed down a bit by now.

image.png.cfd9927d9571b76d06d9fbba17b0c0c2.png

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thoughtful
1 hour ago, Xan said:

Do I spy a bandana around old Gary's neck?  Did he possibly have to pull something up over his face while out of the car in Nevada?  I thought he was so anti-mask that he was willing to be arrested.  C'mon, Gary.  We need details.

It was probably just for dust blowing around. He was near Death Valley, after all. And the poor guy has asthma, he claims.

image.png.a09646457f080d54f18348caef2a44df.png

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thoughtful
Spoiler

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How is this a "Pelosi Payoff?"

Gary and his friends are belligerent and proud of being uninformed:

Spoiler

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WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?

@thoughtful, David Aid seems to be very outnumbered there!

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thoughtful
2 hours ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

@thoughtful, David Aid seems to be very outnumbered there!

Really - how did a conservative who wants to know what's actually going on get into Gary's comment thread?

They're still going strong:

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Tim Smithpeters, you may be in for a lecture from Gary, Bro.

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thoughtful

Gary, see what happens when you post about politics? It's much more popular than God and Jesus, even among your buddies. I think you need to give up on the "who cares, I'm saved, God/Jesus is on the throne" posts if you want attention.

And I know you do.

As often happens, all of those comments on Gary's post made me curious about the commenters. I found this on Larry Bell's Facebook. I think some of the people commenting on this post don't realize it's a joke, and the book title (a famous sermon from 1741)  is photoshopped:

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image.png.f1dc71b9ffff1c3f7f3eba9e6d492174.png

ETA - Larry may have a sense of humor, but common sense? I don't know:

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There is a picture of him with his grandchildren on Christmas eve, all snuggled together, nobody masked, and he went back to preaching and traveling.

Edited by thoughtful
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Ozlsn

I am torn between laughing and eyerolling at "the KJV tell you what's going on". Gary you can't accurately read from it, ignore most of what Jesus actually said and obviously don't understand a lot of words.  Also as a source of current affairs the KJV and the Bible is... about 2000 years out of date.

Also the pride in deliberately making yourself ignorant of current events astounds me, whether no matter what side of the aisle you think you stand. I don't understand why not having at least some idea of what's going on is seen as a good thing.

Guess all Gary's friends and the Bro himself will be knocking back the stimulus money then? Hypocrites.

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Black Aliss
On 3/8/2021 at 1:13 PM, thoughtful said:

when ya got the boogie-woogies in it,

Please tell me he pronounced that "boojie-woojies". I mean, he is proceeding in a southerly die-rection, m'lord.

Spoiler

 

 

On 3/8/2021 at 1:20 PM, Ozlsn said:

I cannot be the only one who added "My preciouss" to the end of that.

There are at least  two of us.

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thoughtful
40 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

Please tell me he pronounced that "boojie-woojies". I mean, he is proceeding in a southerly die-rection, m'lord.

:laughing-rofl:

I think a combination of his misspent youth and just having heard it from others prevented that. Gary knows that the "g" is hard.

Gary can't pronounce most of what he sees in the KJV, but that he can pronounce!

While I'm here:

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Are "the socialest people" the most hospitable?

Becky posted - I hope Gary knows how to drive in this kind of weather:

Spoiler

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Edited by thoughtful
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thoughtful

This guy, who commented on Gary's post, mostly seems to want to sell merch (some of which seems to be of the toxic nouthetic counseling ilk), but he has posted some other outrageous shit:
 

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https://www.facebook.com/david.tyler.946517

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thoughtful

Another of Gary's "pastor" buddies.

Um, Bob? I don't think this makes the positive impression you seem to think it does:

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This picture caption is - well, only something a proud fundie relative (I assume this young man is related to him somehow) would post:

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Yippee-o-kiyaay!

He sees no problem posting this, with that choice of image and font:

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But this is where he sees a similarity to Nazis (it's the post right before the one above, BTW):
 

Spoiler

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WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?

From the Facebook post @thoughtful screenshot (2nd one):

Quote

Cam led a horseman to the Lord on his honeymoon!

I wonder where the Lord went on His honeymoon? I hadn't even realized His wedding already happened! 🤵 👰

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