Bontrager/Bowers 7: Thanking the Lord for all the Matchmaking

[HereticHick]

1 hour ago, DrPusey said:

Also noticed that in the blog post ostensibly about Jubilee that Carolina and Carson are apparently inside a store without masks. Nice to see how much they care about their fellow community members. 

If they took that picture after Nov. 17, they were violating state law: https://www.aarp.org/health/healthy-living/info-2020/states-mask-mandates-coronavirus.html#Iowa  

Always good to see those  Fundy Republican Christians and their love of law and order. ?

[TheGleeTeam]

8 hours ago, DrPusey said:

Also noticed that in the blog post ostensibly about Jubilee that Carolina and Carson are apparently inside a store without masks. Nice to see how much they care about their fellow community members. 

That made my blood boil and was all I noticed other than the gross gendered language about a toddler. I don't know why I even look at their blog posts since they only infuriate me. Shopping without a mask with their young child, as if a pandemic isn't even happening. I don't know why their posts make me more angry than other fundies, but I guess Marlin's horrible plandemic speech is part of it. These people are so self-centered and yet claim they live their lives for Jesus. Sometimes I feel like I'm living in an alternate universe with the huge list of precautions I'm taking compared to people who have not changed any behaviors.

 

Do we think Denver's wedding will be livestreamed? (Do I have the right guy? Whatever, the one engaged to Praise T.L.) Do dads get as much mic time at a son's wedding? I didn't watch the livestream of Allison's wedding but I am indebted to those who did. Even if there are restrictions in Minnesota in March, I'm sure they will find a way around them to have a big ol superspreader event.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

28 minutes ago, TheGleeTeam said:

That made my blood boil and was all I noticed other than the gross gendered language about a toddler. I don't know why I even look at their blog posts since they only infuriate me. Shopping without a mask with their young child, as if a pandemic isn't even happening. I don't know why their posts make me more angry than other fundies, but I guess Marlin's horrible plandemic speech is part of it. These people are so self-centered and yet claim they live their lives for Jesus. Sometimes I feel like I'm living in an alternate universe with the huge list of precautions I'm taking compared to people who have not changed any behaviors.

 

Do we think Denver's wedding will be livestreamed? (Do I have the right guy? Whatever, the one engaged to Praise T.L.) Do dads get as much mic time at a son's wedding? I didn't watch the livestream of Allison's wedding but I am indebted to those who did. Even if there are restrictions in Minnesota in March, I'm sure they will find a way around them to have a big ol superspreader event.

Yes you got the right guy. I feel the same way about the Pandemic and all the fundies. 

They have a new blog post for Jubilee's sister Jemima. I guess they're doing one post for each of their eight grandkids.  It is a pet peeve when people post about grandchildren and don't mention the parents by name. As if other people are suppose to remember who the parents. I have this problem with people I know in real life; fundie and not-fundie. 

[fundiefan]

Oh, Jemima's post was pathetic. Two sentences, two pictures. She's four months old & smiles. That's it. Even their attempts at being doting grandparents are complete fails because of their misogyny. 

I bet the mask-less shoppers taking family pictures in Walmart were such a pleasant sight for all the other shoppers. Does People of Walmart still exist? They'd make a great entry. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

12 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

Oh, Jemima's post was pathetic. Two sentences, two pictures. She's four months old & smiles. That's it. Even their attempts at being doting grandparents are complete fails because of their misogyny. 

I bet the mask-less shoppers taking family pictures in Walmart were such a pleasant sight for all the other shoppers. Does People of Walmart still exist? They'd make a great entry. 

Tucker was less than two weeks old when they made a post about him and they posted EIGHT pictures. Jemima is 4 months and she gets two pathetic pics. If they are going to post about all 8 grandchildren, they need to try a little harder not to show their favoritism.

My secret hope: they don’t see as much of Carson and Lina compared to the others because they have set up more boundaries than the others. And that’s why they have less pictures. But I bet it’s just favoritism. 

[fundiefan]

When they announced Tucker's birth on IG, they shared a picture of Micah. They tried to correct it, but still said he is their 8th grandson. Someone called them out saying "don't you have two granddaughters" and they said Tucker is their 8th "grand". But, they have not corrected their 8th grandSON statement. 

Those damn girls just screw up everything! 

Edited December 23, 2020 by fundiefan

[JermajestyDuggar]

I wonder if Carson and Lina notice the favoritism. Being born into it, they might not notice. But they are the only ones in the family to have girls. I hope they do notice and say something to the Bons about it. But my hopes are not high. 

[FiveAcres]

On 12/22/2020 at 6:57 AM, anachronistic said:

It makes me so mad that the Bontragers, who have ignored the majority of covid guidelines, get to see their new family member and grandchildren all the time and my family and so many others, who take the pandemic seriously, can’t. If they and others like them had been willing to give up part of their lifestyle we could ALL be together this Christmas like in Australia and New Zealand. Instead we get a pathetic zoom with kids who have probably forgotten we exist, and the Bontragers will no doubt have a big family Christmas and spread the deadly virus even more.

I know. I am trying to take comfort in the fact that, at least in Colorado, hospitalizations for the traditional flus are way down. This is a good marker for people isolating and being safe, at least here in Colorado. Thanksgiving Day, when we were driving to briefly exchange food in a friend's garage, I noticed that our neighborhood had no places where multiple cars were parked on the road. It would have been very apparent the way our neighborhood is designed. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

42 minutes ago, FiveAcres said:

I know. I am trying to take comfort in the fact that, at least in Colorado, hospitalizations for the traditional flus are way down. This is a good marker for people isolating and being safe, at least here in Colorado. Thanksgiving Day, when we were driving to briefly exchange food in a friend's garage, I noticed that our neighborhood had no places where multiple cars were parked on the road. It would have been very apparent the way our neighborhood is designed. 

I suspected the flu would be way down this year. Here are my thoughts (I’m not a scientist so this is just opinion): Being contagious with the flu and covid are pretty different. I’ve read that being contagious for the flu is when you actually have symptoms. Covid isn’t like that as we know. You can be contagious and have no symptoms. Let’s say someone got the flu this year. They immediately might suspect it is covid at the first symptom. Those people probably self isolate immediately and are way less likely to spread it to anyone else. This is one reason why I think flu is way down. Of course I also think that all the things being cancelled, no school for a lot of kids, staying home, and people not being forced into work when they are sick are helping as well. 

[TheGleeTeam]

10 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

It is a pet peeve when people post about grandchildren and don't mention the parents by name. As if other people are suppose to remember who the parents

This is especially confusing with the Bonts because their 2 sons MARRIED SISTERS whose names start with the same letter. I never remember who's married to Lina and who's married to Cassidy (I can remember the ladies for some reason). I think Cassidy is married to the extra-obnoxious one with a blog. Anyway, these are really the People of Walmart who should be shamed IMO. Acting selfishly and irresponsibly with their kids in tow. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, TheGleeTeam said:

This is especially confusing with the Bonts because their 2 sons MARRIED SISTERS whose names start with the same letter. I never remember who's married to Lina and who's married to Cassidy (I can remember the ladies for some reason). I think Cassidy is married to the extra-obnoxious one with a blog. Anyway, these are really the People of Walmart who should be shamed IMO. Acting selfishly and irresponsibly with their kids in tow. 

If it helps, the two CARs are married. 
CARolina and CARson

Cassidy and Assidy oops, I mean Joshua.

[NancyDrewFan1989]

17 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Yes you got the right guy. I feel the same way about the Pandemic and all the fundies. 

They have a new blog post for Jubilee's sister Jemima. I guess they're doing one post for each of their eight grandkids.  It is a pet peeve when people post about grandchildren and don't mention the parents by name. As if other people are suppose to remember who the parents. I have this problem with people I know in real life; fundie and not-fundie. 

They haven't done any for Wallace and Winston yet. 

12 hours ago, fundiefan said:

Oh, Jemima's post was pathetic. Two sentences, two pictures. She's four months old & smiles. That's it. Even their attempts at being doting grandparents are complete fails because of their misogyny. 

I bet the mask-less shoppers taking family pictures in Walmart were such a pleasant sight for all the other shoppers. Does People of Walmart still exist? They'd make a great entry. 

I felt the same way too. They posted more for Tucker who is two weeks old compared to Jemima. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Barf. How bout you treat all those you love well? Why does it have to be a contest? We know Allison’s parents never treated their children better than their spouse! I personally think the Bons treated their children terribly.

[Nothing if not critical]

9 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Barf. How bout you treat all those you love well? Why does it have to be a contest? We know Allison’s parents never treated their children better than their spouse! I personally think the Bons treated their children terribly.

Barf indeed. This sounds so fake and forced. Wouldn't you do those things automatically if you're so much in love? And as I said before, what's with the strict priority rules? There is just no room for flexiblity and adjusting to different situations in their worldview. Just "follow the rules - have happy marriage".

Also, I'm so sick and tired of fundies claiming their marriages are better than anyone else's (especially considering the fact that she's been married for - what? - three months?). The tags alone are enough to make me nauseous.

[fundiefan]

In truth, a very large part of my divorces was because the ex never made me priority. I was never #1 to him. He chose himself, his image, his friends, his kids (which I understood to an extent, although they were both grown, married adults and his choices were to make them happy even at my expense; it's not like they were kids with parental needs to grow up). He spoke to me like I was an idiot. He talked over me to make sure my opinion on anything was not taken by anyone as his (he isn't big on personal responsibility - he's more concerned with people liking him and will take on their opinions to make it so - publicly of course; then we'd go home and he'd rant and rave to me about them).

But, that was all a symptom. It wasn't the only problem by any means. It was just the nail that finally got it through my head that the marriage was over. We didn't like each other and didn't respect each other. 

Looking back, it was a slow slide into that miserable existence. I chose too often to shut up, say nothing, keep the peace, keep him happy. Too often I let him throw me a bone and then hide it the next day. The push and pull, the hate & "love". 

When you have to force yourself to love, respect, trust and believe in your spouse - when you have to walk a defined line to keep that spouse happy, you are not "in love and happily married". You are doing what you think will keep him/her happy so you can keep going along without conflict.

Typical fundie BS. Taking a general concept of human behavior & respect & interaction and taking it to the extreme and slapping "godly" on it. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

Allison has never had a relationship like this. She's never lived with a guy, spent a good portion of her days with him, been able to touch, kiss, cuddle, make love etc. Same for Jeremiah. I would expect two people in the first big real relationship of their lives to talk sweetly each other naturally. To want to be touching all the time and annoying their friends with both PDA and pet names and love talk. 

It's telling that none of this comes naturally to them. Maybe you're not sure what to say exactly, but I've always felt that feeling relatively comfortable with the other person is a good sign for a relationship. It's sad that this is hard. Poor Allison!

[Bluebirdbluebell]

They did a blog post for Wallace and a Christmas post of the parents with their five unmarried children outside their church. Unmasked of course!

[GuineaPigCourtship]

Pshaw. I say talk to your spouse more plainly and openly than anyone else. I mean be kind, don't tear each other down but if you can't be your bare self with your partner, who can you truly open up to?

[Melissa1977]

Allison sounds fake all the time, so forced and unnatural. And why is she still posting wedding pictures? If she's sooo happy homemaking, why not a picture of her Christmas decoration? House? New town landscape? 

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

Allison sounds fake all the time, so forced and unnatural. And why is she still posting wedding pictures? If she's sooo happy homemaking, why not a picture of her Christmas decoration? House? New town landscape? 

She’s probably pregnant, tired, nauseated and doesn’t have the energy to take a bunch of pretty pics of her holiday table. 

[browngrl]

4 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

She’s probably pregnant, tired, nauseated and doesn’t have the energy to take a bunch of pretty pics of her holiday table. 

Knowing the fecundity of fundies you are probably right but even if she is not pregnant - it's not really her house. Chelsy could post about her house because she has her own house but Alison is living with or at least very closely affiliated with her in laws. As the newest member of that household she can't exactly go around imposing her decor choices on their house. The only thing she has that  most  reflects  her tastes is her wedding. 

 

[fundiefan]

9 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

Allison sounds fake all the time, so forced and unnatural. And why is she still posting wedding pictures? If she's sooo happy homemaking, why not a picture of her Christmas decoration? House? New town landscape? 

There could be a million different reasons. But, the most likely is her marriage & life are not as perfectly magical as she wats people to believe and if she posts pictures or talks about anything that is currently part of her life, the image will be blown. Her wedding was everything she dreamed it would be (ranting manly men and all) so she can keep the image alive by continually posting pictures.

Allison isn't prepared for the real world, including marriage and daily life with another human being who isn't someone who grew up exactly like (and with) you. In short, dating your husband is not like dating your brothers. 

Unlike people who grew up knowing the world & life are messy and imperfect, know how to cope with imperfection, expectations not being met, all the changes you go through when you get married - Allison wasn't taught any of that. She was taught that she gets married to a godly man and has a godly marriage, period. You follow the rules, you are happy, period. No accounting for anything outside those rules. No way to deal with things that don't fall into the rules or guidelines, and no way to cope when you can't change that. 

It doesn't even need to be a major thing. But, small ways of doing life - where do you keep things in the bathroom, what brand toothpaste do you use, what are your favorite foods/kitchen staples/treats, do you use butter or margarine? Honestly, I don't know how fundie newlyweds do it when there is no room for personal choice - and the man being the authority, he gets the last say. So, if you really like Crest gel and he likes Colgate paste, guess what you're going to be buying? And, again, she's not equipped to say "we'll buy both so we both get what we want" or make a deal "we'll use Colgate, but in turn we are using butter, not margarine" or choose her battles or cope with little things like that that are part of life when cohabitating. 

[SPHASH]

3 hours ago, fundiefan said:

There could be a million different reasons. But, the most likely is her marriage & life are not as perfectly magical as she wats people to believe and if she posts pictures or talks about anything that is currently part of her life, the image will be blown. Her wedding was everything she dreamed it would be (ranting manly men and all) so she can keep the image alive by continually posting pictures.

Allison isn't prepared for the real world, including marriage and daily life with another human being who isn't someone who grew up exactly like (and with) you. In short, dating your husband is not like dating your brothers. 

Unlike people who grew up knowing the world & life are messy and imperfect, know how to cope with imperfection, expectations not being met, all the changes you go through when you get married - Allison wasn't taught any of that. She was taught that she gets married to a godly man and has a godly marriage, period. You follow the rules, you are happy, period. No accounting for anything outside those rules. No way to deal with things that don't fall into the rules or guidelines, and no way to cope when you can't change that. 

It doesn't even need to be a major thing. But, small ways of doing life - where do you keep things in the bathroom, what brand toothpaste do you use, what are your favorite foods/kitchen staples/treats, do you use butter or margarine? Honestly, I don't know how fundie newlyweds do it when there is no room for personal choice - and the man being the authority, he gets the last say. So, if you really like Crest gel and he likes Colgate paste, guess what you're going to be buying? And, again, she's not equipped to say "we'll buy both so we both get what we want" or make a deal "we'll use Colgate, but in turn we are using butter, not margarine" or choose her battles or cope with little things like that that are part of life when cohabitating. 

Allison is spoiled, period.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

4 hours ago, fundiefan said:

There could be a million different reasons. But, the most likely is her marriage & life are not as perfectly magical as she wats people to believe and if she posts pictures or talks about anything that is currently part of her life, the image will be blown. Her wedding was everything she dreamed it would be (ranting manly men and all) so she can keep the image alive by continually posting pictures.

Allison isn't prepared for the real world, including marriage and daily life with another human being who isn't someone who grew up exactly like (and with) you. In short, dating your husband is not like dating your brothers. 

Unlike people who grew up knowing the world & life are messy and imperfect, know how to cope with imperfection, expectations not being met, all the changes you go through when you get married - Allison wasn't taught any of that. She was taught that she gets married to a godly man and has a godly marriage, period. You follow the rules, you are happy, period. No accounting for anything outside those rules. No way to deal with things that don't fall into the rules or guidelines, and no way to cope when you can't change that. 

It doesn't even need to be a major thing. But, small ways of doing life - where do you keep things in the bathroom, what brand toothpaste do you use, what are your favorite foods/kitchen staples/treats, do you use butter or margarine? Honestly, I don't know how fundie newlyweds do it when there is no room for personal choice - and the man being the authority, he gets the last say. So, if you really like Crest gel and he likes Colgate paste, guess what you're going to be buying? And, again, she's not equipped to say "we'll buy both so we both get what we want" or make a deal "we'll use Colgate, but in turn we are using butter, not margarine" or choose her battles or cope with little things like that that are part of life when cohabitating. 

I think it would less that he doesn't use toothpaste, but that emotional connection and intimacy might be off. Obviously I don't know them, but they don't seem like they'd have much to talk about outside of Jesus, having a family, etc.  Like a lot of young men in their teens/twenties, he doesn't seem to be emotionally mature enough to really have much to offer that way. And of course if they're living at her in-laws, that's another problem. 

1 hour ago, SPHASH said:

Allison is spoiled, period.

No she's not. Her parents are controlling, abusive nightmares. She's the 3rd child and 2nd daughter of 10 kids. She was their main blogger after Chelsy left and has helped raise her younger siblings. She got married, because her parents were praying and fasting and found this guy for her.  I think she is smug like all fundies, but she isn't spoiled. 

[Melissa1977]

9 hours ago, SPHASH said:

Allison is spoiled, period.

Why?

She has been beaten and brainwashed, educated by parents who believe children must obey since day one and that 2 year old children can think and behave as adults. She was forced to raise siblings and to do a lot of home chores since her early childhood. She was forced to perform for months every year, when she said she preferred to stay at home. She had a job she loved, but had to quit to give it to her brother. She was interested in finances but college was banned because her sex. Her parents made her feel a loser because she was single in her early twenties and, finally, married her to someone she barely knew. 

I don't like her, and her beliefs are horrible, but she isn't spoiled. Having a roof, food and clothes does not make anybody spoiled.