Bontrager/Bowers 7: Thanking the Lord for all the Matchmaking

[Themanda Duggar]

1 hour ago, browngrl said:

I was reading about how much money Trump gave to farmers - it is a lot - particularly soya bean farmers. I wonder how much the Bontragers collected. I suspect their Trumpism is not just racist/misogynist/hate based. There is also lots and lots of cash.

I think there’s a way to find out how much aid goes  to individual farms, though I don’t know what it is.  I’m not uncomfortable with taxpayer funds being used to bail out the farmers, I just think the rest of us deserve the same level of service and care from our government, especially now.  I really wish farmers like the Bontragers understood that those payments are essentially the same as  welfare payments, and that they are no more worthy of receiving help than is any other American who needs it.

[ophelia]

Since Lincoln Taylor turns 19 in January and there is another unmarried Helferich daughter there could be ANOTHER match between the two families.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

10 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

The Bontragers are big on naming their children after non family members. People like Winston Churchill, William Wallace, Ben Carson, and plenty of others. 

 

9 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Yes, I believe they said this on their blog somewhere.

My guess is that two of their boys are named after a Christian missionary named James Hudson Taylor. 

Named for James Taylor you say?

Denver's middle name is Elliot after Jim Elliot. 

Tucker is actually way more popular than people think.  It's been top in the 200 names for boys in the USA for most of the decade.  

They put a blog post. Some said it's cool that everyone has boy/boy or girl/girl families and they wondered who the first one to have children of both genders. 

Edited December 11, 2020 by Bluebirdbluebell

[JermajestyDuggar]

I like having just 2 boys. I was only going to have 2 kids regardless. But these people will keep spawning till the cows come home. So I’m sure they will eventually get a kid of the opposite sex. 

[IsmeWeatherwax]

I have 2 daughters and 2 sons, and I can honestly say hand on heart, boys are much easier to raise!

[HereticHick]

12 hours ago, Themanda Duggar said:

I think there’s a way to find out how much aid goes  to individual farms, though I don’t know what it is.  

Here you go. Enjoy! Dang, there are a lot of Bontragers in Iowa: https://farm.ewg.org/search.php

Search for farm subsidy recipients in the U.S.

‡ Data for 2020 includes payments made by USDA through June 30, 2020 and does not include crop insurance premium subsidies.

[fundiefan]

Marlin is there as himself and as Arrows, Inc. (Rebecca Bontrager). I have no idea how any of this works (records) but Arrows received significant subsidies in 2017-2019, and so far in 2020. Nice increases during the trump years. 

 

 

[Notjean]

Farmers have taken some really tough financial hits in the last number of years.  The payments received this past year will help many to continue to feed the country instead of going out of business.  The money looks big but don't fail to take in to account the enormous investment in land, equipment, and hours that farmers make.  Every dairy farmer I know pretty much works seven days a week and struggles to stay out of the red.  It's been heartbreaking to watch good, hard-working farmers go out of business in the last few years.  

[browngrl]

11 hours ago, Notjean said:

Farmers have taken some really tough financial hits in the last number of years

My issue is not with farmers. I grew up in farming country and I know how hard they work.

My issue is the hypocrisy of the Bontragers and the other fundies like them. When they get a handout that is just fine and totally well deserved. When someone else gets a handout they are lazy leeches. 

[SPHASH]

2 hours ago, browngrl said:

My issue is not with farmers. I grew up in farming country and I know how hard they work.

My issue is the hypocrisy of the Bontragers and the other fundies like them. When they get a handout that is just fine and totally well deserved. When someone else gets a handout they are lazy leeches. 

Bingo!

The worse one is South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem.  Her family is in ranching and farming and has collected millions of dollars in crop subsidies over the years.  Last summer when the extra $600/week unemployment ran out and Orange Anus signed an executive order allowing $300/week for six weeks she declined it saying South Dakotans didn't need it.  States had the option if declining it and Noem was the only Governor who did this.  This created a financial hardship for a friend of mine.

[hollyandivy]

On 12/11/2020 at 9:14 AM, IsmeWeatherwax said:

I have 2 daughters and 2 sons, and I can honestly say hand on heart, boys are much easier to raise!

I have 2 boys and 1 girl and I could not agree more with you!

[Bluebirdbluebell]

Well the Bontragers agree boys are better than girls. Easier to find matches for too! 

I've known people who've had a harder time with their boys than their girls. 

If boys are easier to raise, that must be why women cause all the problems in society. ?

I recommend telling your daughters they're harder to raise. It will fuck with their insecurities and leave unable to say no to anyone in fear of being labeled "difficult". 

[Lgirlrocks]

2 hours ago, hollyandivy said:

I have 2 boys and 1 girl and I could not agree more with you!

My mom would disagree with you both  my brothers were always in trouble for something and I was the people pleaser. Could just be how my parents parented though. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

My boys keep me on my toes. I don’t have a daughter to compare but I’ve always said my oldest is my drama king. I don’t know why people say girls are the dramatic ones. My older son could out drama many kids of either sex. He feels everything. 

[fundiefan]

I don't have kids but I have nieces  & nephews. Two of the three nephews ran-and still run- drama circles around both nieces combined. The butt hurt, lashing out, pouting, whining, over the top drama about everything...dear Zeus, I need a vacation after an hour with either of them. And one is 30 years old with a wife, 2 kids & a step son.

Whether male or female or non binary, dram queens gonna' drama. 

[EmiSue]

17 hours ago, Lgirlrocks said:

My mom would disagree with you both  my brothers were always in trouble for something and I was the people pleaser. Could just be how my parents parented though. 

Same here. For us it's my personality vs my brother's personality. I have a deep-seeded fear of getting in trouble or letting people down (I'm an enneagram 1, if you're into that) and my brother just wants to do what he wants to do, expectations be damned (I think he's likely an enneagram 7). So my parents never had to worry about where I was, who I was with, and what we were doing, but they had to deal with my anxiety and perfectionism, which wasn't a walk in the park. I think it's a combo of personalities and what parents find hard to deal with or manageable more than arbitrary things like gender. 

[Lgirlrocks]

55 minutes ago, EmiSue said:

Same here. For us it's my personality vs my brother's personality. I have a deep-seeded fear of getting in trouble or letting people down (I'm an enneagram 1, if you're into that) and my brother just wants to do what he wants to do, expectations be damned (I think he's likely an enneagram 7). So my parents never had to worry about where I was, who I was with, and what we were doing, but they had to deal with my anxiety and perfectionism, which wasn't a walk in the park. I think it's a combo of personalities and what parents find hard to deal with or manageable more than arbitrary things like gender. 

Growing up when something would go missing, or something would be eaten that wasn’t supposed to be, my mom would send everyone to their rooms until they confessed. I would always point out to my mom that I wouldn’t do that without asking. 

[Melissa1977]

18 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

My boys keep me on my toes. I don’t have a daughter to compare but I’ve always said my oldest is my drama king. I don’t know why people say girls are the dramatic ones. My older son could out drama many kids of either sex. He feels everything. 

Same, but my dramaboy is my youngest. 

Are daughters harder to raise? Or is that people expect a lot more from their daughters than from their sons? It has been proved that girls are raised with more boundaries, harder rules and higher expectations than boys. Many parents don't even realise that. My mom still says that she raised my brother and me equally, because same rules and chores, but expectations (in personality and behaviour) were far higher in my case.

In addition, our society tends to notice women's faults more than men's. If a little boy is stubborn, he is stubborn, full stop. If a little girl is stubborn, then "girls are trouble". When a teenager boy is too sensitive, he's a teenager. When a teenage girl is too sensitive, girls are drama.

Edited December 13, 2020 by Melissa1977
Clarify

[JermajestyDuggar]

I was raised by a far more dramatic father than mother. My dad will let people know how he is feeling long before my mom will. And he expresses it pretty loudly at times, lol. She’s reserved and doesn’t express her feelings often. I’ve seen my dad cry more than my mom. 

[Themanda Duggar]

On 12/11/2020 at 7:19 PM, Notjean said:

Farmers have taken some really tough financial hits in the last number of years.  The payments received this past year will help many to continue to feed the country instead of going out of business.  The money looks big but don't fail to take in to account the enormous investment in land, equipment, and hours that farmers make.  Every dairy farmer I know pretty much works seven days a week and struggles to stay out of the red.  It's been heartbreaking to watch good, hard-working farmers go out of business in the last few years.  

I don’t begrudge the farmers any of the aid they receive.  I also don’t think they are more worthy of aid than is any other struggling individual in the wealthiest country in the world.  I do wish more of those receiving these kinds of aid payments understood that using our tax dollars to keep them solvent is a socialist solution to a capitalist problem, and that it’s working out really well for them.

[hollyandivy]

7 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

Are daughters harder to raise? Or is that people expect a lot more from their daughters than from their sons? It has been proved that girls are raised with more boundaries, harder rules and higher expectations than boys. Many parents don't even realise that. My mom still says that she raised my brother and me equally, because same rules and chores, but expectations (in personality and behaviour) were far higher in my case.

In addition, our society tends to notice women's faults more than men's. If a little boy is stubborn, he is stubborn, full stop. If a little girl is stubborn, then "girls are trouble". When a teenager boy is too sensitive, he's a teenager. When a teenage girl is too sensitive, girls are drama.

I don't think I expect more of my daughter than I do of my sons. But with everything I ask of my daughter (clean up her room, empty out the dishwasher, walk the dog,) there is a lot (and I mean a LOT) more complaining, excuses, putting it off til later .... involved the with her brother. My kids have age appropriate chores, but in case of my daughter it takes a lot of drama to get it done. It even gets to the point that her 8 year younger brother will do  it.  She always feels hard done by, at a disadvantage, and I don't know why. so in my case, yes, my girl is harder to raise than my boys.

[Melissa1977]

6 hours ago, hollyandivy said:

I don't think I expect more of my daughter than I do of my sons. But with everything I ask of my daughter (clean up her room, empty out the dishwasher, walk the dog,) there is a lot (and I mean a LOT) more complaining, excuses, putting it off til later .... involved the with her brother. My kids have age appropriate chores, but in case of my daughter it takes a lot of drama to get it done. It even gets to the point that her 8 year younger brother will do  it.  She always feels hard done by, at a disadvantage, and I don't know why. so in my case, yes, my girl is harder to raise than my boys.

Yes, but it's your case. Other families have the opposite situation. I have 2 boys and 1 is very obedient while the other is a little rebel. It worries me when people say kids are harder depending on their sex, instead of depending on their personality (or their parents expectations). 

 

[fundiefan]

Allison hadn't posted much recently so I missed her in my  IG unfollowing. 

So, today I just saw her making it very clear that she was f*cking miserable being unmarried. She's using fluffy words to say waiting is worth it, but between the fluff is a lot of angst and misery. 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 minute ago, fundiefan said:

Allison hadn't posted much recently so I missed her in my  IG unfollowing. 

So, today I just saw her making it very clear that she was f*cking miserable being unmarried. She's using fluffy words to say waiting is worth it, but between the fluff is a lot of angst and misery. 

 

Lol we all knew she was fucking miserable. It was very apparent. And that’s why it was so obvious when she found a boyfriend although she hadn’t announced it. Because her mood on her blog got way better. 

It’s just sad to me because I was 27 when I got married which is similar in age to Chelsy and Allison when they got married. I wasn’t miserable at all before I got married. I had friends, family, college, work, and hobbies that made me happy. I didn’t need my husband to make me happy. I was happy before I met him and happy after. He didn’t rescue me from sad single hood. 

[Lgirlrocks]

29 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Lol we all knew she was fucking miserable. It was very apparent. And that’s why it was so obvious when she found a boyfriend although she hadn’t announced it. Because her mood on her blog got way better. 

It’s just sad to me because I was 27 when I got married which is similar in age to Chelsy and Allison when they got married. I wasn’t miserable at all before I got married. I had friends, family, college, work, and hobbies that made me happy. I didn’t need my husband to make me happy. I was happy before I met him and happy after. He didn’t rescue me from sad single hood. 

She hasn’t been posting much on IG and hasn’t posted in over a month on her blog. I think she went into marriage expecting it to be magical, like she was told growing up, only to find it a lot of work. Living with a SO full time is a lot more work than living with anyone else. Nothing about being human is perfect. We are nasty, our bodily functions and such. To have to groom yourself and show your unmade, unperfect, flawless self to someone is hard. You want them to see you as beautiful all of the time. I hope jeremiah is helping her through this. Being in a serious relationship with someone, marriage or life partner, can be wonderful.