Dillards 87: Experts on Everything!

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

1 hour ago, mstee said:

I’ve known a few Mormon couples and a few Baha’i couples who all waited for marriage to have sex and they were pretty open about intimacy being a big part of why they married young and married quickly. They would make little silly jokes about it. I just think we’re not used to the Duggars acknowledging that part of why couples choose to marry young but it’s definitely a part of it. Maybe the Duggers and their friends beat around the bush and make it about too much godly stuff whereas the people I have known have come from families where it’s just an acknowledged fact. 

Didn't Jill say she was having lustful thoughts just before she started courting Derick? She didn't put it so bluntly I can't remember how she worded it, but she was struggling with, umm, sinful thoughts?  It is obvious, at least to me, that Jill is a very sexual being, and seems to enjoy expressing it, and  good for her, sex is supposed to be enjoyable and I'm glad she comfortable enough with herself to put it out there.

[artdecades]

Maybe I am giving them too much credit but this all seems so convenient. like them doing people and making a point to say they weren’t paid and then immediately jumping on cameo    

This time, Derick makes a sex comment on Instagram and in less than a day they are doing sponcon for Christian sex stores and workshops. ?
 

 

[HereticHick]

4 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

Um, these folks know this too, all the fundy/fundy light women I know said the married so young so they could have sex. They were all divorcing as well, but they were still insisting their kids would be virgins until they marry. ?‍♀️

As for Christian Vibrators, What would they be called? 

The 2nd cuming of Christ

O' cum all ye faithful.

You could name a butt plug Exodus 

 

 

Cedar of Lebanon

[finnlassie]

4 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

As for Christian Vibrators, What would they be called? 

The 2nd cuming of Christ

O' cum all ye faithful.

You could name a butt plug Exodus 

 

 

I showed this to my friend (we're both very much Christian but... we know what's fun) and she is CRY LAUGHING! Thank you for the cheer up!

[just_ordinary]

The comment speaks very likely the truth but I still find it inappropriate. It’s very different to speculate in private or put something like that publicly on their SM. It was a joke leaving a base taste at best, ridiculing and hurtful at worst. It also makes me question why exactly did he proposed to Jill?

And while hormones probably very much drive this decision I am pretty sure these young people do believe they found their soulmate and are in love or at least crushing very hard. Marriage is the only solution, not only to get intimate but also not to go to hell (for all the sinnvoll thoughts and feelings). Those Fundies are really great at fucking you up in every way.

[Four is Enough]

On 11/16/2020 at 12:26 PM, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

It is all well and good teaching your children proper terms for your parts until they start screaming, You're a PENIS, you're a  VAGINA, at each other in the middle of the grocery store when they are 2 & 4. ?    It's pretty damn funny now, but I'm pretty sure they caused at least 1 old lady to   

One yelled out in church: "Does that man have a PENIS?"  It happens..

On 11/18/2020 at 1:45 PM, HereticHick said:

There are Christian vibrators??  Who knew!

The crosses on the tip provide extra clitoral stimulation... JK.. I know nothing about Christian vibrators...

 

And Private Parts is better than "coochie", ""flower", and some of the other names  I've heard children say.

[Denim Jumper]

16 hours ago, Jinder Roles said:

Yes. It’s the ones that make you shout “oh god” and “hallelujah”?

@Denim Jumper There actually is! I heard of one where married couples have to get a note from their pastor for access to the porn.

I hope we’re not giving Jill & Derrick ideas for their next venture...

Edited November 19, 2020 by Denim Jumper

[marshmallow]

1 hour ago, just_ordinary said:

not to go to hell (for all the sinnvoll thoughts and feelings).

Hahaha! I assume this is a German-English autocorrect issue? 

(German 'sinnvoll' means sensible or meaningful). Got me thinking about whether one man's sinful thoughts are another one's 'sinnvoll' thoughts. ?

[AnnEggBlandHer?]

I know we’re all just being snarky but in case anyone was genuinely asking about what makes a Christian lingerie/sex toy shop different...it’s the lack of models. I’m pretty mainstream Christian and some of my girlfriends use sites like this because they/their husbands can buy things without picturing another woman using them or looking at another woman in her underwear. I think it’s over the top but my husband and I each watch porn and I “let” him socialize with female friend unchaperoned so maybe we’re already doomed! 

[LegHumperBibleThumper]

23 hours ago, LillyP said:

The thing that is funniest about the Christian sex store is that there is literally everything you'd find at a regular online sex store....right on down to the strap-on. ?

Except while there are male masturbation products there seems do be no anal play items.

Edited November 19, 2020 by LegHumperBibleThumper

[Kelsey]

8 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

Didn't Jill say she was having lustful thoughts just before she started courting Derick? She didn't put it so bluntly I can't remember how she worded it, but she was struggling with, umm, sinful thoughts?  It is obvious, at least to me, that Jill is a very sexual being, and seems to enjoy expressing it, and  good for her, sex is supposed to be enjoyable and I'm glad she comfortable enough with herself to put it out there.

I thinknshe called it "urges."

[LillyP]

2 hours ago, LegHumperBibleThumper said:

Except while there are male masturbation products there seems do be no anal play items.

This might be naive of me...considering I'm a straight female and my butt is generally exit only...but I guess I just naturally have always assumed a strap-on could/would also be for anal play? Same thing for a dildo or vibrator? I know people obviously use butt plugs and other items of the sort but it would seem to me like really any of the items meant for penetration could be used for anal play right? 

I am actually genuinely curious about this! 

[OrchidBlossom]

8 minutes ago, LillyP said:

This might be naive of me...considering I'm a straight female and my butt is generally exit only...but I guess I just naturally have always assumed a strap-on could/would also be for anal play? Same thing for a dildo or vibrator? I know people obviously use butt plugs and other items of the sort but it would seem to me like really any of the items meant for penetration could be used for anal play right? 

I am actually genuinely curious about this! 

If you plan to use a penetration item for anal play that you also use or plan to use for any other kind of play, you have to be very thorough in the disinfection for obvious reasons. Other than that, you can technically use any item for anal play but some items that aren't really designed for it could potentially cause injury (you'd be SHOCKED at the things people have to go to the ER to get out of their butts). I'm also an exit only person but I have some very open friends who have been kind enough to indulge a lot of my curiosity. 

[livinginthelight]

22 hours ago, OrchidBlossom said:

They inscribe bible verses on the vibrator.

Which verses?

"Knock and the door shall be opened to you?"

"... in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."?

"For the righteous falls seven times and rises again"?

[OrchidBlossom]

6 minutes ago, livinginthelight said:

Which verses?

"Knock and the door shall be opened to you?"

"... in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."?

"For the righteous falls seven times and rises again"?

perhaps just "come, my beloved" Song of Solomon 7:11

I'd accept an... alternate spelling if the company was feeling punny.

Edited November 20, 2020 by OrchidBlossom

[HereticHick]

11 hours ago, livinginthelight said:

Which verses?

"Knock and the door shall be opened to you?"

"... in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."?

"For the righteous falls seven times and rises again"?

Gird thy sword upon thy thigh, O most mighty, with thy glory and thy majesty.

[front hugs > duggs]

I am exit only too, with the exception of one time we tried (husband and I, while dating). Funny little TMI bit from my experience for any who haven't done this and are curious:

Spoiler

We tried it. In the moment, I even enjoyed it. But then I was constipated for well over a week and that was the very end of that.

 

[kmachete14]

Usually anal play items have a flared base . . . so things don't get lost, haha.

[Jinder Roles]

17 hours ago, LillyP said:

This might be naive of me...considering I'm a straight female and my butt is generally exit only...but I guess I just naturally have always assumed a strap-on could/would also be for anal play? Same thing for a dildo or vibrator? I know people obviously use butt plugs and other items of the sort but it would seem to me like really any of the items meant for penetration could be used for anal play right? 

I am actually genuinely curious about this! 

They can be, and people do use them. 

For anal play any toy (not in a harness or strap) needs to have a flared base. Your asshole is like a vacuum and can suck up toys with no stopper. Makes for a very awkward ER trip. 

Edited November 20, 2020 by Jinder Roles

[OrchidBlossom]

5 hours ago, Jinder Roles said:

They can be, and people do use them. 

For anal play any toy (not in a harness or strap) needs to have a flared base. Your asshole is like a vacuum and can suck up toys with no stopper. Makes for a very awkward ER trip. 

Anyone here a fan of The Office? I was watching the episode where David tells Michael about his new invention "Suck It" as I read this comment and now I can't stop laughing.

[PennySycamore]

@OrchidBlossom, I just finished watching the episode of The Office where Dwight has to give a speech as top salesman in the Northeast.  Now I'm watching an episode of Schitt's Creek.

[OrchidBlossom]

8 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

@OrchidBlossom, I just finished watching the episode of The Office where Dwight has to give a speech as top salesman in the Northeast.  Now I'm watching an episode of Schitt's Creek.

I say to you, salesmen... and women... of Pennsylvania, once more rise and be worthy of this historic hour!

[meep]

On 11/18/2020 at 12:45 PM, HereticHick said:

There are Christian vibrators??  Who knew!

Just like there's a baby jesus butt plug!

[ophelia]

2 hours ago, meep said:

Just like there's a baby jesus butt plug!

Sweet baby Jesus. FJ never seizes to amaze me.

[clueliss]

Derrick, Jill and this thread are all defrauding me.