Bontragers/Bowers 6: Allison Is Married! Who Will Date Her Brothers Now?

[NancyDrewFan1989]

7 hours ago, LurkerOverThePond said:

If I remember it correctly, Agenda won the first prize at the legendary Vision Forum San Antonio Film Festival (which really says it all about both the movie and the festival...). The amount of money they won was not mere pennies, maybe $100 000?

Just how many fundie boys are able to live on lawn care?? It must be a lucrative business in the US. I'm sure with much longer growing season especially in the South, it probably is a good business opportunity. In Finland the growing season here on the south coast of the country is 3-4 months so not too much trouble to mow your own lawn, especially as the lawns here are not Texas-sized  

Yeah it did. The film, meaning Agenda, is one of the top films that fundies recommend you watch. If you go on Amazon, most of the reviews for the film are positive. I watched film out of curiosity when the engagements were announced. I didn't agree with the message, but he did a pretty good job with the film overall. I haven't watched the film since and don't intend to again.

As for the lawncare business, I have a feeling many of the fundie men are drawn to it because they don't have to stray to a college that would possibly indoctrinate them in worldly views. One of the things that I have learned about fundies is that when it comes to trade school and college they are very particular about where the kids go and what they do. By going into lawncare they may not have to worry about them going to a real college and mixing with non-fundies for too long with in person classes for licenses they may need to get. Also, many of them seem to start their business out of home, so they are probably familiar with lawncare overall.

[GoddessOfVictory]

Carver Bowers apparently also has a trailer flipping business.

Spoiler

 

And look, in less than two months, Allison is already an expert on marriage!

Spoiler

 

 

[CaptainFunderpants]

5 minutes ago, GoddessOfVictory said:

And look, in less than two months, Allison is already an expert on marriage!

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

Is it just me, or does she already sound miserable?

"It’s also speaking no ill, healing together from the hard things in life, and being perfect for each other precisely because you are not like each other. Celebrating your differences and learning to be a team."

Admittedly that's pared down, but it sounds like she's struggling because oh gee, you shouldn't marry someone you don't know!

"Healing together from hard things,"  You've barely been married long enough to have a miscarriage. Or is the hard thing not getting pregnant with a honeymoon baby? Speaking of which, Allison, it's called the honeymoon phase. There shouldn't be any ill to say or teamwork to learn. Partly because you just got married and should be on a high with that, and partly because all of that stuff should have been settled and figured out long before you entered into holy matrimony.

Lordy, I need my fainting couch.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

Allison went in with fairy tale expectations. She seems the clingy type. I hope she's okay. If you want marriage advice from some you don't know and doesn't know you, People had Jon Bon Jovi on the cover this week talking about marriage and maybe giving advice. Bon Jovi at least has been married to his high school sweetheart for 40 years and probably knows more than Allison. 

 

[lonedn]

2 hours ago, CaptainFunderpants said:

Is it just me, or does she already sound miserable?

 

My thoughts exactly! It sounds like she is giving herself a pep talk, as this marriage thing might be more difficult than she had imagined. 

[Melissa1977]

Allison seems idealistic and stubborn. Not a great combo. Even if someone marries their perfect match, it is necessary to be flexible about expectations. And well... Jeremiah seems sooooo dull that I doubt he's anybody's charming prince.

I can be wrong, but I imagine Jeremiah like those 50's men who expected a good diner but never praised the cook and who wanted to read the newspaper and not be bothered with wife's conversation. But again, it's my imagination. 

[ophelia]

Allison appears to be very smug, yet I feel sorry for her. She probably imagined to have a marriage like her sister, John and Chelsy seem to have real chemisty, and all she got was Jeremiah who seems to be uberfundie and boring at the same time.

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, ophelia said:

Allison appears to be very smug, yet I feel sorry for her. She probably imagined to have a marriage like her sister, John and Chelsy seem to have real chemisty, and all she got was Jeremiah who seems to be uberfundie and boring at the same time.

Who would have thought a Maxwell is more fun and interesting than another fundie guy! 

[fundiefan]

Allison spent her "single season" trying to convince herself it was all god's will and she was happy. Now she'll spend her "marriage season" doing the same. She didn't get to know Jeremiah - they spent their courtship/dating/whatever they choose to call it, conforming to rules created by their fathers & religion. Now they actually have to put all those rules & guidelines into play in their lives and as any person can tell - it ain't easy. Marriage is not easy. But, in normal relationships, people go through a lot of shit together before saying "I do". They know how each other deals with disappointment, exhausting, frustration, questions & doubts. How they deal with their anger and discontent. They see each other struggle - large or small doesn't matter; not graduating from college with the grades they wanted, not getting a job they wanted, death of a loved one, illness or other medical situation, personal demons...all of it. They fight, then they make up. All things two individual human beings do when in a relationship. Allison? Not so much. I bet they've never so much as disagreed, much less had a fight. 

That's why most people date for a while before diving into marriage. To. Get. To. Know. Each. Other. And, understand each other. And learn how to get along with all our human faults and differences. 

Fundies follow sets of rules and are ill equipped for what actual marriage & relationships are. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

No Allison. You’ve been married for five minutes. 

[ophelia]

If she would at least ask wether she should post more about newlywed-life, starting a life in another state, leaving home, etc. I might consider do click yes. But general marriage advice from Allison Bontrager Helferich (try to say that out loud three times in a row -.-) - no thank you. Although I'm pretty sure her "fangirls" will be desperate to know more.

[Kelsey]

Another thing I don't understand about fundies. You can do something for 5 minutes and all of a sudden you're an expert!

[fundiefan]

16 minutes ago, Kelsey said:

Another thing I don't understand about fundies. You can do something for 5 minutes and all of a sudden you're an expert!

That goes hand in hand with how they are raised. They are nursed on a steady diet of "we are right", "we know all", "only we know what it means", "this is how you do it, no other way". By the time they can read, they know how to be married/raise a kid/whatever. 

[VBOY9977]

She changed her username to put mrs on it ?

To me she seems only in love with the idea of marriage

Spoiler

 

[fundieundies]

10 hours ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Allison went in with fairy tale expectations. She seems the clingy type. I hope she's okay. If you want marriage advice from some you don't know and doesn't know you, People had Jon Bon Jovi on the cover this week talking about marriage and maybe giving advice. Bon Jovi at least has been married to his high school sweetheart for 40 years and probably knows more than Allison. 

 

I'd take marriage advice from Zsa Zsa Gabor before I started listening to this newlywed dingbat and her white bread husband

[deborahlynn1979]

Allison has just posted on her blog to once again let us know WHAT MARRIAGE IS, by a woman who has been married less than two months.

Quote

It’s joy, grace, unconditional love, romance in the mundane moments because you belong to one another and celebrate the fact. It’s also speaking no ill, believing in your spouse, healing together from the hard things in life, and being perfect for each other precisely because you are not like each other. Celebrating your differences, knowing that you complete each other, and learning to be a team. Always walking together, cheering for each other.

Blah blah blah. Give us the deets. Are you lonely in your new state? What do you DO all day now that you've settled in the house? Do you live on a lively street or are you on a farm? What does your husband do for work? What is his favorite color? What do you do for fun? What does your house look like? What do you cook for dinner? Has it been hard getting used to living with someone new?

[JermajestyDuggar]

Oh brother, that post made my eyes roll so hard I might have sprained something. She sounds ridiculous. She’s been married for 5 minutes and thinks she’s doing everything perfect and knows exactly what it takes to make a perfect marriage. Boy is she in for a shock. 

[LurkerOverThePond]

I can't access Allison's instagram right now from my computer, but I remember she mentioned a while ago that during their courtship they spent a lot of the time apart from each other. She didn't mention why, but probably because of distance, her work and forced touring with the family, and his work. So it seems like they really didn't get to know each other even on the level of your average fundie courtship. Of course I could be totally wrong. Still, letters and phone calls are not the same as spending time together in different situations.

Actually, I really look forward reading their "story". Can't wait to see how she sugarcoats everything.

[fundiefan]

8 minutes ago, LurkerOverThePond said:

I can't access Allison's instagram right now from my computer, but I remember she mentioned a while ago that during their courtship they spent a lot of the time apart from each other. She didn't mention why, but probably because of distance, her work and forced touring with the family, and his work. So it seems like they really didn't get to know each other even on the level of your average fundie courtship. Of course I could be totally wrong. Still, letters and phone calls are not the same as spending time together in different situations.

Actually, I really look forward reading their "story". Can't wait to see how she sugarcoats everything.

You've read it all before. We all have. 

They met, but didn't think anything of each other. Just ignored each other's existence and went on with their lives. While they did that, their god was working on their hearts and eventually told Jeremiah that he had to marry Allison. So Jeremiah fasted & prayed then talked to his father. Then either he, or his father, called Marlin and asked him what he thought. He fasted & prayed and eventually, god told him Allison has to marry Jeremiah. So, he figured he'd better let Allison in on the secret. Allison was shocked, shocked I tell you! While god had been dropping hints here and there - that funny god, never direct or to the point - she never thought the great and mighty Jeremiah would be interested in her. Because, really, she never thought about him or gave him any hints (only god does the hinting) but god knew, so of course she will court/get to know/marry him! Then, after a time or two of being in the same space for more than an hour, they absolutely know god made the perfect match, Allison transfers her BFF title from her siblings to Jeremiah, she stops dating her brothers and starts dating Jeremiah, and they learn how perfect they are for each other and isn't their god amazing for knowing it all along but never actually telling either one of them. 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

17 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

You've read it all before. We all have. 

They met, but didn't think anything of each other. Just ignored each other's existence and went on with their lives. While they did that, their god was working on their hearts and eventually told Jeremiah that he had to marry Allison. So Jeremiah fasted & prayed then talked to his father. Then either he, or his father, called Marlin and asked him what he thought. He fasted & prayed and eventually, god told him Allison has to marry Jeremiah. So, he figured he'd better let Allison in on the secret. Allison was shocked, shocked I tell you! While god had been dropping hints here and there - that funny god, never direct or to the point - she never thought the great and mighty Jeremiah would be interested in her. Because, really, she never thought about him or gave him any hints (only god does the hinting) but god knew, so of course she will court/get to know/marry him! Then, after a time or two of being in the same space for more than an hour, they absolutely know god made the perfect match, Allison transfers her BFF title from her siblings to Jeremiah, she stops dating her brothers and starts dating Jeremiah, and they learn how perfect they are for each other and isn't their god amazing for knowing it all along but never actually telling either one of them. 

 

At least Chelsy and John went outside the norm and bonded over their speeding tickets. 

[Italiangirl]

18 minutes ago, VBOY9977 said:

She changed her username to put mrs on it ?

To me, she seems only in love with the idea of marriage

  Reveal hidden contents

 

This needs a SEVERE eye-roll reaction! Man fundies really know how come out unsufferable! 

[Florita]

1 hour ago, deborahlynn1979 said:

It’s joy, grace, unconditional love, romance in the mundane moments because you belong to one another and celebrate the fact. It’s also speaking no ill, believing in your spouse, healing together from the hard things in life, and being perfect for each other precisely because you are not like each other. Celebrating your differences, knowing that you complete each other, and learning to be a team. Always walking together, cheering for each other.

It sounds like she spliced together all the sugar-coated cliches from their wedding cards.

[Bluebirdbluebell]

Allison posted a timeline of their relationship on the wedding website. 

They heard about each other before they met. They first heard about each other in December 2018.  It's unclear how they heard about each other, but maybe the Bontrager parents met the Helferich parents. Or maybe someone in their church knew the Helferiches.

They didn't meet until May 2019. Probably because of all the touring and his farming?

They had a brief getting-to-know each other period during which she must have been touring and it's unclear how much they talked. They are older so hopefully they were able text a lot. Or have a lot of phone calls.

Their first date was in September 2019. 

They dated from September 2019 until May 2020 which seems longer for a fundie couple, especially since they're both old enough to drink. 

She was engaged 3 months and married in August 2020. This seems fast, but she was probably already making plans.

Edited October 5, 2020 by Bluebirdbluebell

[fundiefan]

19 minutes ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

.llison posted a timeline of their relationship on the wedding website. 

They heard about each other before they met. They first heard about each other in December 2018.  It's unclear how they heard about each other, but maybe the Bontrager parents met the Helferich parents. Or maybe someone in their church knew the Helferiches.

They didn't meet until May 2019. Probably because of all the touring and his farming?

They had a brief getting-to-know each other period during which she must have been touring and it's unclear how much they talked. They are older so hopefully they were able text a lot. Or have a lot of phone calls.

Their first date was in September 2019. 

They dated from September 2019 until May 2020 which seems longer for a fundie couple, especially since they're both old enough to drink. 

She was engaged 3 months and married in August 2020. This seems fast, but she was probably already making plans.

They heard of each other when Jeremiah / the family registered for Mighty Men and/or Family Camp in the winter of 2018/2019. Or, maybe at the Bible Bee? But, I think that's earlier - like, November?

They met when Jeremiah became a Mighty Man in May 2019.

They started dating at Family Camp in June 2019.

After the holidays and winter COVID tour, they got engaged in May 2020.

Married in a COVID conspiracy, political side show wedding in August 2020.

[Melissa1977]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

At least Chelsy and John went outside the norm and bonded over their speeding tickets. 

They had quite a good courtship. They knew each other, John visited her many times during a year (I'm not sure how long the courtship was, but they didn't marry quickly). But the most important about Chelsy and John is that they had things in common. Chelsy related real experiences before and after the wedding: diner dates, trips, activities etc. They were happy and everything sounded like a healthy relationship. Allison only writes vague sentences, I see nothing real. No honeymoon pictures, nothing about her new home, no shared hobbies with Jeremiah? I feel for her.