Bontragers/Bowers 6: Allison Is Married! Who Will Date Her Brothers Now?

[Jigsaw3]

That's a good point about the honeymoon pictures and new home, @Melissa1977. Chelsy let us know right away that they honeymooned in Texas and it was "amazing". She didn't post honeymoon pictures or a recap (probably because she spent 10 posts and 8 months recapping the wedding and by the time she was done with that she was announcing her pregnancy) but eventually did get around to posting about their house.  That's a really big contrast to what Allison has posted so far. Allison and Chelsy definitely do have different blog "personalities" (Chelsy writes a breezy narrative and Allison writes "deep" contemplative posts) but they post at about the same frequency, so it's interesting that Allison hasn't posted anything comparable.

Easter egg: while searching Chelsy's posts, I noticed that the Craig sisters, including Anna, visited John and Chelsy in April 2018 in Leavenworth. I wonder if they had Jesse over for dinner? I wonder if Jesse met Anna Craig then, or if they met at Chelsy and John's wedding?

[fundiefan]

11 hours ago, Jigsaw3 said:

That's a good point about the honeymoon pictures and new home, @Melissa1977. Chelsy let us know right away that they honeymooned in Texas and it was "amazing". She didn't post honeymoon pictures or a recap (probably because she spent 10 posts and 8 months recapping the wedding and by the time she was done with that she was announcing her pregnancy) but eventually did get around to posting about their house.  That's a really big contrast to what Allison has posted so far. Allison and Chelsy definitely do have different blog "personalities" (Chelsy writes a breezy narrative and Allison writes "deep" contemplative posts) but they post at about the same frequency, so it's interesting that Allison hasn't posted anything comparable.

Easter egg: while searching Chelsy's posts, I noticed that the Craig sisters, including Anna, visited John and Chelsy in April 2018 in Leavenworth. I wonder if they had Jesse over for dinner? I wonder if Jesse met Anna Craig then, or if they met at Chelsy and John's wedding?

Wasn't it several months before Chelsy talked about her honeymoon? Her multitude of wedding posts were made the following summer? 

As much as I am not a fan of the Bontragers, sisters are not clones and don't do what each other does, or post to their blogs comparably. By two months married Chelsy posted two very brief posts.  Allison is under no obligation to follow suit. They are different people - even if cut from the same cloth. And, they married different men. Hell, Chelsy got married & started wearing pants (although she did a bit before marriage, if I recall? Could be wrong) - once in a while, at least. Allison got married and started wearing skirt extenders. 

I just mean that comparing the two is kind of futile. Both in who they are and in how/what they blog. Blogging is pretty low on the priority list of newlyweds. Or, should be. 

Jesse & Anna met at Family Camp. I think it was Anna's sister or mom who posted on IG before they went private with pictures  . of...something...a craft...that gave a timeline and they met in Lansing, IA in September 2017. The only known year the Maxwell's went to Family Camp. 

[browngrl]

Alison has always been heavily into platitudes but marriage seems to have ramped up her meme meter. I hope that this is because this is her preferred way to write but I get the feeling that all is not sunshine and roses in her world.  

Chelsy and the Bates girls often mention nice things their husbands have done but Alison has nothing to say but "marriage is soooo good" - she never offers specifics - only memes. I only know one personal thing about her husband and it is the story of how he dragged a woman to church (the anecdote spoken of at his wedding) - and this makes me think that he cares little about anyone's choices but his own.  I hope this is not true but I suspect it is and I suspect that Alison is not finding the bed she has made to be comfortable at all.

 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

19 minutes ago, browngrl said:

Alison has always been heavily into platitudes but marriage seems to have ramped up her meme meter. I hope that this is because this is her preferred way to write but I get the feeling that all is not sunshine and roses in her world.  

Chelsy and the Bates girls often mention nice things their husbands have done but Alison has nothing to say but "marriage is soooo good" - she never offers specifics - only memes. I only know one personal thing about her husband and it is the story of how he dragged a woman to church (the anecdote spoken of at his wedding) - and this makes me think that he cares little about anyone's choices but his own.  I hope this is not true but I suspect it is and I suspect that Alison is not finding the bed she has made to be comfortable at all.

 

 

I really do want to know more about Jeremiah. What is his personality like? What are his hobbies? What is his sense of humor like? What are his passions? 

I think fundies focus WAY too much on god in their courtships and not enough on the other person.

[daisyjane1234]

"It’s joy, grace, unconditional love, romance in the mundane moments because you belong to one another and celebrate the fact. It’s also speaking no ill, believing in your spouse, healing together from the hard things in life, and being perfect for each other precisely because you are not like each other. Celebrating your differences, knowing that you complete each other, and learning to be a team. Always walking together, cheering for each other."

Wow.  Just wow.

I would love to return to the first month marriage when I knew everything, and had zero doubts.  I would love to be preaching platitudes about how hard life is, when you haven't yet experienced any of the real crap life can throw at you.  

Marriage if freaking hard work. As a beloved family member once said, the easy parts are easy.  It's the hard times that define a marriage.  

Dear Alison - please check back in with us when you've lived a few years.  Talk to us when you've experienced busted budgets, sleepless nights, illness, loss, tragedy, and utter disappointment.  Talk to us after Jeremiah has let you down, or disappointed you - because it WILL happen. While I don't wish those things for you, they are part of life's journey.  You may still say the same things about marriage.  In fact I hope you do.  But we might just be willing to listen to you at that point.  For the moment all I can say is that you don't have a clue what you're talking about.

[JermajestyDuggar]

33 minutes ago, daisyjane1234 said:

"It’s joy, grace, unconditional love, romance in the mundane moments because you belong to one another and celebrate the fact. It’s also speaking no ill, believing in your spouse, healing together from the hard things in life, and being perfect for each other precisely because you are not like each other. Celebrating your differences, knowing that you complete each other, and learning to be a team. Always walking together, cheering for each other."

Wow.  Just wow.

I would love to return to the first month marriage when I knew everything, and had zero doubts.  I would love to be preaching platitudes about how hard life is, when you haven't yet experienced any of the real crap life can throw at you.  

Marriage if freaking hard work. As a beloved family member once said, the easy parts are easy.  It's the hard times that define a marriage.  

Dear Alison - please check back in with us when you've lived a few years.  Talk to us when you've experienced busted budgets, sleepless nights, illness, loss, tragedy, and utter disappointment.  Talk to us after Jeremiah has let you down, or disappointed you - because it WILL happen. While I don't wish those things for you, they are part of life's journey.  You may still say the same things about marriage.  In fact I hope you do.  But we might just be willing to listen to you at that point.  For the moment all I can say is that you don't have a clue what you're talking about.

Full admission: this pandemic has put a strain on me and MrJerm’s marriage. I’m not saying divorce or anything. But damn things had been really hard. And I often feel like I’m failing at being a good communicator right now. I read about divorce filings going up during the pandemic and I get it. This shit is hard. Allison has no idea what she’s talking about and it makes me embarrassed for her. 

[Smash!]

Easter egg: while searching Chelsy's posts, I noticed that the Craig sisters, including Anna, visited John and Chelsy in April 2018 in Leavenworth. I wonder if they had Jesse over for dinner? I wonder if Jesse met Anna Craig then, or if they met at Chelsy and John's wedding?

I think Chelsy mentioned they met at a Bontrager Family Camp.

Allison looks very happy in the pictures she shared with Jeremiah so I don’t necessarily think she’s disappointed how her marriage goes. To me it seems more like she’s using quotations what marriage should be like in her posts. Probably she doesn’t know what else to say? Or her new husband doesn‘t want her to share the more private/mundane stuff like her new home.

[Melissa1977]

12 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Full admission: this pandemic has put a strain on me and MrJerm’s marriage. I’m not saying divorce or anything. But damn things had been really hard. And I often feel like I’m failing at being a good communicator right now. I read about divorce filings going up during the pandemic and I get it. This shit is hard. Allison has no idea what she’s talking about and it makes me embarrassed for her. 

Dear Jermajesty, being "imprisoned" at home for covid has been a very hard experience and it's normal you had those thoughts. I think we all should forgive ourselves and others for failing during those times, because it wasn't normal life, but a high stresful looong situation.

Send you hugs! 

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

Dear Jermajesty, being "imprisoned" at home for covid has been a very hard experience and it's normal you had those thoughts. I think we all should forgive ourselves and others for failing during those times, because it wasn't normal life, but a high stresful looong situation.

Send you hugs! 

Thank you! I’m thinking back on our first year of marriage and I’m embarrassed by how easy I thought it was. I didn’t even have to put any effort into it! It was just fun and easy. Of course Allison thinks she has it all figured out. It’s still the honeymoon phase. 

[usedbicycle]

Allison lives in a la-la land of her own imagination, is obsessed with the IDEA of marriage and a relationship, and I guarantee that will affect her actual relationship at some point. 

I grew up fundie lite and those dating years were tortuous. "Is he the one God has for me", "Is he modeling towards me the love God has for the Church" "Is our physical touch glorifying God"? We didn't even take the time to have fun together - the entire dating experience was tainted with the dos and don'ts and daydreaming of a wedding and playing house and being Mrs. so-and-so. BLeCH. 

When I dated my first not-very-religious boyfriend, he basically told me to swallow a huge chill pill and that's exactly what I needed. I could finally relax and start enjoying the time spent with said boyfriend without constantly overthinking God's will. I could be myself instead of playing the part of perfect little wife before we even knew each other! Thankfully those years are far, far behind me.

 

[NancyDrewFan1989]

23 hours ago, Smash! said:

 

I think Chelsy mentioned they met at a Bontrager Family Camp.

Allison looks very happy in the pictures she shared with Jeremiah so I don’t necessarily think she’s disappointed how her marriage goes. To me it seems more like she’s using quotations what marriage should be like in her posts. Probably she doesn’t know what else to say? Or her new husband doesn‘t want her to share the more private/mundane stuff like her new home.

 

Honestly, I just think Allison is happy to be married and out of her parents house. It really does sound like Marlin and Becky started pressuring her to find a husband considering she started reaching fundie spinster age. 

As for Jeremiah on Allison sharing advice, I don't think he is used to the fundie celebrity status Allison came with. The Bontragers have built up quite the name for themselves in the fundie community, while the Helferichs stayed out of the spotlight. Chelsy, Carson, and Joshua all married into families that are well known in the fundie community. The Maxwells, Bontragers, and Bowers have had no problem in the past gracing us with posts on their lives. So, this blogging and sharing everything about your life is probably something very new to him since his family seems very private.

[becky_m2001]

I'm not sure if this is the right thread for this, but I noticed something interesting the other day. The Caldwells posted some pictures of themselves with the Bowers and Lauren was looking kind of cozy with one of the Bowers boys. He's around her age, give or take a year or so. It seems more likely to me that she's NOT going to end up with a Duggar boy.

[JermajestyDuggar]

20 minutes ago, becky_m2001 said:

I'm not sure if this is the right thread for this, but I noticed something interesting the other day. The Caldwells posted some pictures of themselves with the Bowers and Lauren was looking kind of cozy with one of the Bowers boys. He's around her age, give or take a year or so. It seems more likely to me that she's NOT going to end up with a Duggar boy.

Yes, I mentioned Christian Bowers and Lauren playing a duet and sitting next to one another earlier in this thread 

[becky_m2001]

21 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Yes, I mentioned Christian Bowers and Lauren playing a duet and sitting next to one another earlier in this thread 

Ah. I did not see that.

[Kelsey]

Y'all we basically already have Lauren courting every (single) Duggar over 18.....and now we gotta add a Bowers too?

[justmy2cents]

42 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Yes, I mentioned Christian Bowers and Lauren playing a duet and sitting next to one another earlier in this thread 

According to Fundie Wiki he's about 16 years old. Wouldn't that be a little too young? She's around 20, right?

[JermajestyDuggar]

27 minutes ago, justmy2cents said:

According to Fundie Wiki he's about 16 years old. Wouldn't that be a little too young? She's around 20, right?

I don’t think that’s his correct age. He’s looked older than 16 for awhile now. I guess he looks closer to 19. If you look at fundie wiki, they have Carver as almost 19 and Christian as 16. If you look at old pics of them when they were young, they definitely aren’t 3 years apart. I would say the are fairly close in age. If Carver is almost 19, Christian could be about 17.5. I would be shocked if he was actually 16. 

Edited October 8, 2020 by JermajestyDuggar

[becky_m2001]

3 hours ago, justmy2cents said:

According to Fundie Wiki he's about 16 years old. Wouldn't that be a little too young? She's around 20, right?

FundieWiki has Carver's DOB listed as 10/23/2001 and Lauren's DOB as 05/22/2000. So they're pretty close in age. In the pictures I saw on the Caldwell's IG I'm pretty sure it was Carver she was with.

[ophelia]

3 hours ago, Kelsey said:

Y'all we basically already have Lauren courting every (single) Duggar over 18.....and now we gotta add a Bowers too?

She sure is one busy fundie maiden and I'm pretty sure that no matter who she is courting, she'll be married off soon to have.all.the.babies. just like Kendra does.

[Florita]

It appears the newlyweds are living in the house where Allison's bridal shower was held.

Spoiler

Spoiler

 

[fundiefan]

Hmmm. I wonder if we will soon be regaled with how absolutely perfect it is to share a home with our in-laws. 

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I like my in laws but I would hate living with them! 

[fundiefan]

Honestly, I couldn't see myself living in someone else's house ever. As a grown adult, I cannot fathom even the idea of living under someone else's ways. Even if there aren't a lot of "rules" or anything like that, it's still not your own house and you are still always walking around in total consideration of the owner (consideration is not a bad thing, it's just not a great way to live your daily life). 

I understand people do it all the time and for as many reasons as there are people. But, nope. Not me. Not ever. Not unless the only other alternative was living on the streets. 

It's even harder for me to imagine newlyweds doing it. How do they create their own life while living under someone's roof? A roof that looks as though it's his parent's, thus where he lived before and she is just...sliding right into his life? 

I hope for their sake it's a very temporary situation as they wait for apartment availability or their own home completion or something. I don't think they can honestly begin being their own family while living with his family. Leave & cleave, people. Leave & cleave. 

 

[Sops2]

You can find the Helferich family home with a bit of searching on google.

A single storey family home in rural Minnesota, worth over $1 million, just under 200 acres, home to 6 persons. The area is flat as a pancake and surrounded by cornfields. The nearest town has a population of 2000.  

Hopefully the newlyweds are there temporarily while they build themselves a house.The brothers seem to be involved in construction, so hopefully this is the case. Doesn't sound an ideal situation for newly weds, especially if Jeremiah is away working all day and Allison doesn't have her own house to play housewife in.

Not much privacy to get to know each other and build on their marriage- I feel quite sorry for her now

[Melissa1977]

Wow, Allison's story turn worse every day. I almost feel pity for her. Discovering "new" fundies makes me appreaciate more the Maxwells. At least they understand that a couple needs their own home!

Allison has posted a picture in black and white to hide the red walls. If she was proud of the house or happily living with the inlaws, she would be preaching about that. 

I hope they are saving money to buy or rent a house.