Not Enough Nelsons: When Mormon Naming Goes Too Far

[Marmion]

10 hours ago, Howl said:

I was reading an article about an LDS family today -- the father (Justin) barely survive CV 19.  The article listed the kids names:  Keyera, Kyle, Kaycia, and Kanyon.

I think that the reason parents with multiple children might be inclined to give them each names starting with the same letter is that otherwise they might get used to addressing one child , let's say using examples of common Mormon names I have heard of , named Jayeson , and then starting to say his name , end up calling their one other child named Aimee , " Jaimee " .  I have heard of this sort of thing happening to this one family I know of . 

[clueliss]

SaiDee video.  Adopted at age 2.  Original name was Kenadie.  They had one already.  They almost named her Lexus/Lexie.  But she was always taking her clothes and diaper off and Grandma said something that made SaiDee stick.  The ick question is asked, but rephrased 

 

[Maggie Mae]

I like that Tiffany was like "no, Kassidee, not a good question" on the "do you menstruate" question. I mean, WTH, who asks that? 

I appreciate SaiDee's love of Jurassic Park, Art, and Law, and lack of interest in having kids. I'm happy she is allowed to express that publicly and they still aired the video without any editing. I wish they would go back and edit out NaVee's response to the period question. 

Overall I find this family so much more tolerable than so many of the people we talk about here. I saw a comment on Tom Mills facebook about how these snark sites were started to "bash large families" and I don't really think we do. I have no issue with family size, I have issues with purposefully denying your children education, bad hygiene, and matching outdated clothing.

The Nelsons are probably just a shiny face to try and gather more people to tithe to the Mormon Church, but if someone said I had to choose to choose between churches  based on blogs and youtube families, I'd be trying on temple garments in a heartbeat. Would much rather be around happy people who are allowed to smile and read books than the dour Maxwells or the angry Andersons. 

[Marmion]

On 6/19/2020 at 8:54 PM, Maggie Mae said:

The Nelsons are probably just a shiny face to try and gather more people to tithe to the Mormon Church, but if someone said I had to choose to choose between churches  based on blogs and youtube families, I'd be trying on temple garments in a heartbeat. Would much rather be around happy people who are allowed to smile and read books than the dour Maxwells or the angry Andersons

Well yeah , not all sects , or even cults , are equally as severe .  And , if I had to choose , like in a game of " would you rather , I would prefer to be a Latter Day Saint , such as a friend of mine on Facebook , rather than some sort of modern day Puritan , like in these comedy sketchs .  

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[JermajestyDuggar]

On 6/19/2020 at 7:22 PM, clueliss said:

SaiDee video.  Adopted at age 2.  Original name was Kenadie.  They had one already.  They almost named her Lexus/Lexie.  But she was always taking her clothes and diaper off and Grandma said something that made SaiDee stick.  The ick question is asked, but rephrased 

 

I still wouldn’t change her name. They could just come up with a nickname for her like Adie. I honestly couldn’t imagine changing all of these children’s names. It’s terrible.

[Maggie Mae]

2 hours ago, Marmion said:

Well yeah , not all sects , or even cults , are equally as severe .  And , if I had to choose , like in a game of " would you rather , I would prefer to be a Latter Day Saint , such as a friend of mine on Facebook , rather than some sort of modern day Puritan , like in these comedy sketchs .  

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Oh, thank you so much for this, I am laughing my *A* off. 

[Marmion]

18 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

Oh, thank you so much for this, I am laughing my *A* off. 

If you liked that , you should check out the videos where they poke fun at their own faith community .  

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[clueliss]

DeLayNee video, birth name was Kenleigh (she did not remember her birth name) - and the name was a combination of her two older sister’s names (Kenadie and Lileigh who based in age gaps I suspect were already adopted along with Luke by the time she was born.  After all the fundie gender roles, it’s nice to see a sporty, Tom boy allowed to be who she really is.

 

[TuringMachine]

49 minutes ago, clueliss said:

DeLayNee video, birth name was Kenleigh (she did not remember her birth name) - and the name was a combination of her two older sister’s names (Kenadie and Lileigh who based in age gaps I suspect were already adopted along with Luke by the time she was born.  After all the fundie gender roles, it’s nice to see a sporty, Tom boy allowed to be who she really is.

 

Agreed. And the mom seemed to actually know her child. I still remember the second? I think Duggar special where Michelle tries to describe all her children and by the time she gets to the howlers it's dissolved into "he um... getting bigger". So yeah, refreshing change of pace.

[clueliss]

They posted a video about where Bridget has been.  He’s battled addiction and returned to rehab

 

[OyToTheVey]

I hate you people for introducing me to this family. I think I just fell down a rabbit hole. 

[smittykins]

Take the rescue ferrets with you! 

[clueliss]

Bridger’s adoption story posted Friday 

something Russian that begins with K Vladimir Alexandrovich.  His New middle name is Alexander.  He likes having two names.  I like that his patronymic is his middle name now.

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I don’t understand why it’s anyones business that Bridger is in rehab. That’s personal. 

[clueliss]

Extrapolating from Christian environments, this is what is called testimony.  

[Maggie Mae]

There's nothing wrong with discussing rehabilitation programs. It's not embarrassing or shameful, and I think people's obsession with it being "personal" causes more damage to people who are already stigmatized. 

[Hane]

@Maggie Mae, in light of the fact that every single personal detail of these kids’ lives is on the family YouTube channel, I wonder whether he really wanted all of this shared.

[TuringMachine]

The editing on those videos is so jumpy and distracting.

[Yaruhmak]

 

I recently discovered this family and just saw that it is on FJ, so thought I'd join the chat.

I agree with most of the opinions on here. First of all, the names are just ?. Actually most of them would be pretty acceptable if it wasn't for the ridiculous spellings and the weird, random capital letters in the middle of the name - is that even legal? ?
Regarding changing their names after adoption, I guess people have different viewpoints. Personally I think if the child is old enough to know their name, they should at least be able to choose if they want to change it. It is a part of their identity in some way. Also, since they were fostered for some time before the adoption, I'm guessing they were calling them by their original names? It is a little strange to suddenly have a completely different name after adoption. 

I'm guessing their channel is catered to a younger audience (teen/pre-teen) based on the click-bait titles, cringey, over-top enthusiasm and patronising voices. Its just too much for me ?

Apart from the typical YT family channel  exploitation of minors, there's not really much to snark on ?. They obviously have the financial resources to take care of all these children instead of cramming them all in one room and feeding them sub-standard canned junk. The children seem genuinely happy and well cared for. I like that they actually get to go to school and interact with other children their age. The parents also seem to encourage them to develop their interests, which seems to be rare in the fundie world. One of the boys (Luke) is interested in theatre and dance and Delaynee? I think is a more 'tomboy', sporty type. They are both encouraged to participate in activities which are associated with the opposite gender - another rarity in the fundie world. 

Someone mentioned that they shouldn't be allowed to adopt so many when they already have a lot of biological children. I personally think that there shouldnt be a limit as long as they are able to adequately provide for them. Plus, they adopted a rather large sibling group, which had a very low chance of being adopted. They would have either been separated or stuck in the foster care system permanently. 

There may be more going on in the background which we don't see, but compared to some of the families discussed on this site, the seem like parents of the year ?

Sorry for the essay ?

On 7/5/2020 at 5:52 PM, clueliss said:

Bridger’s adoption story posted Friday 

something Russian that begins with K Vladimir Alexandrovich.  His New middle name is Alexander.  He likes having two names.  I like that his patronymic is his middle name now.

 

I was a bit confused by Bridger's name. I'm pretty sure that Kuzotzskin is actually a surname, not a given name. His actual name was probably Vladimir (given name), Aleksandrovich (Patronymic name) Kuzotzskin (surname). I'm just confused why it was given in that order ?. Maybe he remembers being called by his surname, rather than his given name?It would be a little bit worrying that they don't know what his name was. 

[Aine]

14 hours ago, Yaruhmak said:

Someone mentioned that they shouldn't be allowed to adopt so many when they already have a lot of biological children. I personally think that there shouldnt be a limit as long as they are able to adequately provide for them. Plus, they adopted a rather large sibling group, which had a very low chance of being adopted. They would have either been separated or stuck in the foster care system permanently. 

I agree with this. They seem involved and interested in their kids. Limits on adoption (whether the parents' age or number of siblings etc.) should be a case by case basis in my opinion. My youngest half-brother to my mother (A), who is 3 and a half now, was adopted by the family who fostered and then adopted the oldest half-brother to my mother (H). They were in their early forties when they adopted H and the foster care system tried to block them due to their age but they were the only parents he'd ever known so the system finally allowed it with some strongly worded phone calls from me and letters written by a number of psych professionals who spoke to how traumatizing it would be for him to move, especially because he has special needs. Their 3 bio kids were 15+, with one living out of the house as well by the time of H's adoption. When A came along 7 yrs later, we again faced some barriers. I didn't want him with a random foster or adoptive family- I wanted him with H and H's parents wanted to take him not because they explicitly wanted to adopt again at 50ish with a brand new grandchild but because they thought it was important for H to have an everyday connection to a biological family member (I have contact but live abroad and it's not same-house everyday), they believed they could provide a good home to him and love him as their own without meeting him in person (based on their care of H, no one could argue with that), and they also knew that I'd have dropped out of grad school to take A myself into kinship care rather than random foster care and unless I truly wanted that, they saw part of their oath to love H as their own as loving me too. They paid for the 3 of us to meet with a private lawyer and eventually our child protection people allowed it. But I've heard horror stories about strict adherence to the criteria in that same system that just wasn't what was best for the kid/s and was traumatic for all involved, especially the kids.

I think one big reason the Nelsons are able to parent so many kids in a seemingly sufficient way is because their kids go to school, play sport, have social lives, go to 'circle' at church etc. I can't imagine it ever being feasible to give appropriate attention/parenting to adopt a sibling group of 6 on top of your other kids if they were home-schooled and cloistered from the outside world. It's a recipe for burnout and sub-optimal child development with that many kids.

Side note: A is thriving and meeting all milestones congruent with his adjusted age (he was born at 27 weeks) and the only 'disability' so far due to his prematurity is that he has one lazy eye and they're taking care of that. He is so loved and adored, just like H. I'm so happy the two of them get to grow up as brothers.

[Maggie Mae]

On 7/5/2020 at 10:36 PM, Hane said:

@Maggie Mae, in light of the fact that every single personal detail of these kids’ lives is on the family YouTube channel, I wonder whether he really wanted all of this shared.

I don't know. Maybe he sees it as part of his "finding Christ" or whatever the language is that they use, and part of his ministry. But is that something he wants wants, or is it something he's told to want? There's really no way of knowing based on super short clips off these people. 

I wish that they had TiffaNEE do Elsie's Q&A, I like her so much more than Kass, and Elsie/Beckham's adoption story is hard to watch because she's wasn't old enough to really explain her story and it was like 15 minutes off sappy music and slow mo shots of her and Beckham playing. I am curious about how Tiffanee felt when she found out that Sadiee/Luke/Delanee/Lilee's mom had two more kids she couldn't take care of her. Is their mom in jail? I'm so curious as to what on earth causes kids to be surrendered into foster care at birth. Kind of reminds me of Fosterhood NYC who is one of my favorite adoption bloggers/tweeters. 

[clueliss]

By the way - they posted ElleCee's video last Friday.  Birthname was Kelly.  They got her at about a year old, she was adopted around 18 months old.  And they revealed that ElleCee and Bingham have a different father than the 4 other bio-sibs from that group (which is why they have red hair and the other's don't) (also guessed that because the others look so much alike and the youngest 2 don't)

[OyToTheVey]

I know someone who adopted a baby and less than 2 months later they get a call. Birthmom is pregnant again(#6). They adopted #5. Long story there. Anyway, they decided since they were probably going to adopt again and it's a full bio sibling, they adopted the other baby too. The babies are Irish twins and both doing amazing. I feel like if it's possible to keep siblings together. There aren't that many families out there that would adopt 6 siblings. It's just a lot of kids to handle. The Nelsons seem to be well adjusted. They clearly have the funds to afford all those kids. The Duggars had that many kids in a one room house. 

[CyborgKin]

Every one of those videos hurts me without even watching it, because "What was his/her name before adoption!" is actually a question, while "I changed my name?" is not a question.

Also making a video about what someone's name used to be after the name has been changed is at best pointless and indulgent.

[Aine]

On 7/14/2020 at 10:49 PM, Maggie Mae said:

Is their mom in jail? I'm so curious as to what on earth causes kids to be surrendered into foster care at birth. Kind of reminds me of Fosterhood NYC who is one of my favorite adoption bloggers/tweeters. 

I would guess long-term substance use and/or severe mental health issues. Once a mother has had previous children taken into foster care due to neglect or abuse, medical professionals can put a 'birth alert' out on the mother so child services are notified when the child is born. The staff when the baby is born also contact child services if they have concerns and losing so many kids previously to the system is a huge red flag. They then go to the hospital and investigate whether the situation has changed in such a way that they could parent the new baby when the could not parent their other children. An example of that could be a mother with previous substance abuse issues is in sustained recovery and wants to parent.

If it was prison for a sustained length of time, she likely wouldn't be getting pregnant unless through illegal or abusive means from staff. Also, a criminal history is generally not enough alone to remove a child, especially at birth.