Not Enough Nelsons: When Mormon Naming Goes Too Far

[smittykins]

There was an NFL defensive back named Wonderful Terrific Monds Jr.(one season with the 49ers); his son, Wonderful Terrific III, was a minor-league baseball player.

[PlentyOfJesusFishInTheSea]

So they posted a video about NayVee including her original name etc. I dunno, putting these painful stories up about minors seems a bit exploitative. (I realize all the big adoptive families like Crazy Middles etc. do this too..)

 

[Inthemadhouse]

Family friends fostered a little girl who was named after two drugs.  Extasee Cocaine.  Yes, spelled exactly like that. For three years, they had to either call her by those names, or by a carefully chosen diminutive of them while her case worked it's way through the courts.

They were very grateful to be able to change her name once the adoption went through.   

[Glasgowghirl]

4 minutes ago, Inthemadhouse said:

Family friends fostered a little girl who was named after two drugs.  Extasee Cocaine.  Yes, spelled exactly like that. For three years, they had to either call her by those names, or by a carefully chosen diminutive of them while her case worked it's way through the courts.

They were very grateful to be able to change her name once the adoption went through.   

That is terrible and I'm glad she got her name changed. The writer's of footballer's wives, a show in the UK in the early 2000s named a character Chardonnay as a piss take of stupid names, the year after the show debuted it was recorded that babies had been given the name Chardonnay. A character on another show, Waterloo Road was called Sambuca, naming a child after alcohol is bad enough but after drugs just terrible. 

[Aine]

I'm kind of in the same camp as @Maggie Mae for the most part, in that I don't find this family too disturbing, especially compared to most families we follow here. The kids seem to have a good amount of freedom, are treated as individuals, and are well provided for.

As for the adoptions? I think adopting foster children who have lived with the family for an extended period or adopting sibling groups is different to some of the child collectors blogging with like 10 kids adopted from abroad. Many kids age out of foster care without a family in this country, and I think any continuity with a family structure is better than removing a kid from a placement they are happy in because of some arbitrary "max amount of siblings" laws so long as it is safe and loving. My two younger half-brothers were adopted by the same family- the first was in a foster placement where the family had no intention of adopting ever, they were older but below the arbitrary age cut-off for adoption, with teenage biological sons at the time. They fell for him and put all their resources into early intervention for his special needs with no intent of adopting. When that did become an option, they took it and I'm so glad. My second brother was immediately placed with the same family for a likely adoption after they were asked if they were interested. At that time, the parents were both above the age cut-off for adoption in my home state but an exception is made to keep bio-siblings together. I'm glad it was. There are no better parents for them. I think bio siblings being raised by the same adoptive parents is something that eases the loss associated with not being around anyone biologically related to you. Also, sibling groups are really really difficult to place for foster or adoption. Anyone who adopts any sibling groups from foster care, or who adopts an older child from foster care, and gives those children the home these kids have? It's okay by me. There isn't a long line of people wanting those children who are missing out on raising them, more likely no line at all.

[Aine]

But their taste in names is the stuff of my nightmares... #namenerd

[PlentyOfJesusFishInTheSea]

11 hours ago, Aine said:

But their taste in names is the stuff of my nightmares... #namenerd

Yeah, NayVee's original name is pretty terrible but they just have her a list to choose from that all ends in EE! Let her have a little more control, Jesus.

[clueliss]

I find it telling that two of the bio daughters use names that don't involve the 'ee' at the end (Kass & Jaine)

[clueliss]

New video.  This one is LiLee (she was Lilly before adoption, and she wanted a capital like the other girls (meaning the second capital letter in her name).  3 1/2 when she was fostered, 4 at the time of adoption 

 

[Hane]

I just wish—though this never will happen—that one of these kids would say, “Yes, I *do* wish I were back with my birth parents!” or “I was forced to change my name to this misspelled monstrosity and want my birth name back!”—or preferably both.

[Nikedagain?]

On 5/30/2020 at 8:27 PM, Marmion said:

Sort of reminds me of what Miley Cyrus's birth name was .  http://www.justjared.com/2008/05/05/miley-cyrus-name-change/  I think though that Native Americans , such as what Nayvee , and to a much lesser extent Miley is https://newspaperrock.bluecorncomics.com/2011/02/miley-cyrus-cherokee.html?m=1 , have a tradition of giving their children particular names . https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/whats-in-name/201107/names-and-identity-the-native-american-naming-tradition   Speaking of which , I had thought that it's no longer legal for Native American children to get adopted out .  https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_Child_Welfare_Act   As it turns out though , the LDS church has had a long history of taking custody of Native Americans , which they call "Lamanites" .  https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_Placement_Program  

It's very difficult to adopt Native children out. This may be why she went back and forth so much and the adoption took so long. TiffaNee and BenJee should really watch some of these videos. NayVee and JourNee seem uncomfortable a lot of the time with the filming. And the DelayNee and/or SaiDee girls seem angry quite often. Other than that and the names, they really aren't the worst...

[CyborgKin]

I can't get over the capitalised words in the video titles.

[Babsi]

On 6/5/2020 at 9:00 PM, clueliss said:

I find it telling that two of the bio daughters use names that don't involve the 'ee' at the end (Kass & Jaine)

Kass is KassaDee and Jaine is Jaine Lee if I recall correctly (something about a dream Kass had as a kid about a sister named Jaine or something, so they stuck the Lee on)

 

On 6/6/2020 at 2:57 AM, Hane said:

I just wish—though this never will happen—that one of these kids would say, “Yes, I *do* wish I were back with my birth parents!” or “I was forced to change my name to this misspelled monstrosity and want my birth name back!”—or preferably both.

When it comes to the names, I agree fully ? (mainly the spelling part...ugh!)

When it comes to the birth parents... I don't think so. Kids usually do not get put up for adoption (domestically) if everything is going great in their birth family (Not factoring in newborn adoptions for unwanted pregnancies). NayVee's parents seemed to have addiction problems and LiLee felt responsible and knew how to prepare food for her siblings AND change diapers at three years old. And her and her siblings seemed to live on cookies and pb&j. This screams serious neglect to me. Why would they want to go back. I actually agree with the Nelsons on waiting till the kids are older to maybe initiate contact again. This way they are able to cope better with the potential psychological stresses etc. that might come with it.

[Maggie Mae]

On 6/10/2020 at 4:51 AM, Babsi said:

LiLee felt responsible and knew how to prepare food for her siblings AND change diapers at three years old. And her and her siblings seemed to live on cookies and pb&j. This screams serious neglect to me. Why would they want to go back. 

I think that was DeLayNee. There seems to have been something fairly traumatic in their past. SaiDee, LiLee and Luke were adopted first. Luke had a bunch of serious medical problems and still uses a CPAP. 

DelayNee has a therapy swing and her own room, and she mentioned that she's has to work on not being "in charge" anymore. Beckham was placed in foster care at birth, so my guess is that there is serious neglect or worse in their past. 

The "spying on my sisters date" video is so scripted. Most of their stuff is, but wow, soo cringy. I do think they let the ones who don't want to film do their own thing - JourNee is kind of an introvert and Luke is surrounded in age by sisters. It's an interesting dynamic and way to live. 

The Christmas shopping video explained how expensive having a family that large really is, and that they started the channel for grocery money. Then they bought the whole family a trip to Hawaii, so that seems kind of like an excuse. 

[Hane]

I was being snarky when I said, “Yes, I *do* wish I were back with my birth parents!” I said it because I find it upsetting that these kids are being forced to share such deeply personal information on MomMee’s YouTube channel.

 

[Babsi]

2 hours ago, Hane said:

I was being snarky when I said, “Yes, I *do* wish I were back with my birth parents!” I said it because I find it upsetting that these kids are being forced to share such deeply personal information on MomMee’s YouTube channel.

 

Makes sense, sorry, I did not pick up on that ?

However, I find all the other questions WAY more invasive since the "back to birth parents" question is almost a rhetorical one, the answer is clear from the start. The ones about the girls crushes (and creepily INSISTING on an answer) and not even to mention the period question (??!!) are WAY out of line however. As a pre-teen/teenager I would have been SO embarrassed, hell, I would be embarrassed as an adult as well...

[Maggie Mae]

3 minutes ago, Babsi said:

Makes sense, sorry, I did not pick up on that ?

However, I find all the other questions WAY more invasive since the "back to birth parents" question is almost a rhetorical one, the answer is clear from the start. The ones about the girls crushes (and creepily INSISTING on an answer) and not even to mention the period question (??!!) are WAY out of line however. As a pre-teen/teenager I would have been SO embarrassed, hell, I would be embarrassed as an adult as well...

Yeah, I found period question (who the F asks that?) to be so bizarre and invasive! And the crush, I like to think I would have deflected that with something like "Beckham!" or "it's a tie between Beckham and Ledger" because OMG don't ask me about my crushes where there is a good chance some one will see it and send it to him. 

[clueliss]

I blame Kass for asking the period question.  She could have shown common sense and screed that out but put it on NayVee’s list.  
 

Are the crush questions a way of growing their or other channels with the mentions?  

[Hane]

@Babsi , from everything I’ve read about Mormon culture, the intrusive questions about “crushes” fit right in. This is a religion that teaches that people don’t get into the Celestial Kingdom (the “best part of heaven”) unless they’re heterosexually married and have children. I saw a blog post about a religious education activity for 12-year-old girls in which they had their pictures taken wearing their mother’s wedding gowns and wrote lists of traits they required in a husband. The very idea of growing up single—heterosexual or not—just isn’t an accepted part of their culture, particularly in majority-Mormon areas like Utah.

[clueliss]

Luke video is up.  
 Pre adoption name was Peyton.  
 

He was 2months old when the Nelson’s git him and almost a year when the adoption finalized.

 

[Maggie Mae]

I wish TiffaNEE would just hurry up and tell us the adoption story. Maybe she's saving it for the TLC special that they are obviously trying to get. Sorry Nelsons, you aren't weird enough for TLC. 

[Hane]

I find it weird and culturally appropriative that this so-white-they’re-almost-translucent* family uses hip-hop music and dance moves in their videos.

*with the exception of NayVee, of course.

[clueliss]

This is not the first time they’ve discussed adoptions.  There is a whole playlist of 11 videos.

Also they usually only post videos on Friday and Saturday.  One of the videos is usually some game or challenge.  So I expect this to drag out for weeks with the name stuff.

Edited June 12, 2020 by clueliss

[Howl]

I was reading an article about an LDS family today -- the father (Justin) barely survive CV 19.  The article listed the kids names:  Keyera, Kyle, Kaycia, and Kanyon.

[clueliss]

At least Kyle is not spelled Khyl (Shumway - from the Shumway Show - and that's the Dad not one of the kids)