Dillards 78: Taste the Rainbow

[Lillymuffin]

I am ridiculously addicted to lip balm, and have at least one on my person at all times. Clothing without pockets, especially pj’s,  is the bane of my existence for this reason. 

[JustEnough]

Just like everything else in life there are those for whom pockets are a *thing* and those for whom they are not. I know many people who fall into the not side, even men who don't usually have to deal with no pockets. 

I've never been a purse/bag person, although I am by necessity now because of my health/disability needs. Even when I had babies I'd ditch the diaper bag every chance I got because until SH#3 was born I didn't drive and lived in a city where strollers on public transit were practically impossible. For me it was easiest for baby to go into a wrap or other carrier, small wet bag with diaper needs tucked into or clipped onto the wrap/carrier, lip balm, phone and any cards needed (debit card, health cards) into pockets, and off we went. Nothing to set down or lose (which for me was a good thing as I'd leave my head if it wasn't attached lol). Pockets made the purse/bag unnecessary for me for a long time, but I know I'm in the minority for not wanting that (especially a diaper bag all the time).

My Mom is currently revamping her wardrobe and looking for as many dresses/shirts/nice pants with pockets as she can find. She recently retired from being a nurse who did nursing care in people's homes. Scrubs with pockets for everything she needed have been her default for a lot of years and now wearing outfits with no pockets feels weird to her, so maybe it's genetic for me. ?

[Exposedknees]

I'm 55 and divorced but I kept my married last name because my kids who were young teens at the time begged me to have the same last name as theirs. ( It meant a lot to them for some reason and why traumatize them more?). Now flash forward 14 years, they're grown and I'm probably too lazy to change.  It squicks me out a bit  sometimes to be called Mrs. Knees; but I also think of it as a filter- the people who call me "Mrs." definitely don't know me. Most people I know use my first name or Miss Exposed because as I've said before- Southern norms.

[singsingsing]

The Dillards were live on Instagram tonight and addressed the topic of future pregnancies:

-Jill is not currently pregnant

-Derick said she wouldn’t be pregnant this year, then she questioned how he knew that, and he amended it to ‘we won’t have a baby this year’

-In answer to how many kids they want: (jokingly) ‘At least two.’

[PennySycamore]

@Exposedknees,  I gotta say that I love your new avatar!  Ouiser is my favorite Steel Magnolia.  

Be grateful that we've gotten away from the old etiquette of calling divorced women Mrs. Maiden Last Name Ex-Husband's Last Name.  

[Snarkasarus Rex]

3 hours ago, singsingsing said:

-Derick said she wouldn’t be pregnant this year, then she questioned how he knew that, and he amended it to ‘we won’t have a baby this year’

 

Tell me how you *really* feel Derick 

[SassyPants]

19 minutes ago, Snarkasarus Rex said:

Tell me how you *really* feel Derick 

Was that filmed in their new home. If so, that kitchen was really odd. I don’t think DD is keen on having a Quiverfull, not even for Jesus. Probably best that Jill is not easily pushing them out. 

[Arkfundy]

It almost looked as if they were staying in housing at a church/or gym...it was inside a building. He jokingly said “inside a bunker”...but later did say they would tell at a later time where they were. 

The boys were watching “Blippi” -YouTube channel for toddlers/ preschoolers. My own child watches it. The boys seemed very content..at one point he said “say, hi, Sam” ...and Sam says “hi, Sam” ❤️?....at one point a viewer asked when the show was coming on and Derrick replied he didn’t know...and they later revealed that Jill googles her nieces and nephews birthdays ?...I have 2 siblings...2 nephews and 4 nieces...we’ve had 3 older ones get married...if it wasn’t for FB ...I wouldn’t know their spouses birthdays...so I can’t really snark there. 

[SassyPants]

2 minutes ago, Arkfundy said:

It almost looked as if they were staying in housing at a church/or gym...it was inside a building. He jokingly said “inside a bunker”...but later did say they would tell at a later time where they were. 

The boys were watching “Blippi” -YouTube channel for toddlers/ preschoolers. My own child watches it. The boys seemed very content..at one point he said “say, hi, Sam” ...and Sam says “hi, Sam” ❤️?....at one point a viewer asked when the show was coming on and Derrick replied he didn’t know...and they later revealed that Jill googles her nieces and nephews birthdays ?...I have 2 siblings...2 nephews and 4 nieces...we’ve had 3 older ones get married...if it wasn’t for FB ...I wouldn’t know their spouses birthdays...so I can’t really snark there. 

Thanks...I couldn’t make it through the entire segment.

[PainfullyAware]

So that seems like a confirmation that some kind of family planning is going on for these two? It must have been, since they waited the advised 18 months after the ceasarian with Isreal to Sam and now it's been 2 years since his birth. Probably the rhythm method. I could see Jill being into basal body temperature tracking and the other (TMI) indicators. 

[finnlassie]

Sometimes I hate that I have a soft spot for Jill. Ever since I idolised her when I was about to go quiverful, and then felt pity and caring affection after realising what a cult she lives in and how it's keeping her down, then pride when she's dressing against what her parents believe, finally seeming to find her own place and worth. But it shouldn't outweigh everything else that's going on. I feel rather perplexed.

[adidas]

10 hours ago, singsingsing said:

-In answer to how many kids they want: (jokingly) ‘At least two.’

Someone pour me a strong drink. I laughed at this response. 

Now pour me another drink and make it a double. 

[VelociRapture]

24 minutes ago, adidas said:

Someone pour me a strong drink. I laughed at this response. 

Now pour me another drink and make it a double. 

Have a third for me. I can’t drink, but I laughed too. It sounds like something I’d say if we were planning to have more and just didn’t want to discuss it. 

7 hours ago, PainfullyAware said:

So that seems like a confirmation that some kind of family planning is going on for these two? It must have been, since they waited the advised 18 months after the ceasarian with Isreal to Sam and now it's been 2 years since his birth. Probably the rhythm method. I could see Jill being into basal body temperature tracking and the other (TMI) indicators. 

Anything is still possible, but I’m personally leaning towards this being the case more and more. If they are preventing somehow then I think that’s a smart and great choice - the less kids they have the more time and attention Izzy and Sam will get (and the less kids they’ll be able to pass their beliefs onto as well.)

 

1 hour ago, finnlassie said:

Sometimes I hate that I have a soft spot for Jill. Ever since I idolised her when I was about to go quiverful, and then felt pity and caring affection after realising what a cult she lives in and how it's keeping her down, then pride when she's dressing against what her parents believe, finally seeming to find her own place and worth. But it shouldn't outweigh everything else that's going on. I feel rather perplexed.

I think it’s ok to feel several things about any of these people at once. Humans are complex and emotions don’t always make sense. I think a lot of us feel some level of sympathy for many of these second geners, while also hating the fact that they’re continuing the pattern of raising kids in a fundamentalist lifestyle (among many other things we find problematic.) 

I think it’s easier for some people to sympathize with them because we see glimmers of ourselves or glimmers of potential in them. Jill, for example, I find I feel sympathy for at times because she clearly tries so hard to get things right, but she just can’t always manage it because she’s so stunted by her shitty upbringing that she lacks a bit of common sense. I also feel sympathy for her because she clearly has an interest in learning and I feel she would have really benefitted from an actual education - maybe she wouldn’t have been able to get into or actually finish Nursing School, but it at least would have been an option for her if she had a better education. And I also sympathize because she appears to have had a rough transition to parenthood as I did. 

The important thing to remember though is that Jill, like all her siblings over 18, is an adult now. The choices she’s made the last few years could have very well been influenced by her upbringing and maybe she really doesn’t know any better, but she’s still responsible for her choices and she deserves criticism when she does something shitty (like harassing the people of SCA with her white savior complex or when she’s stupidly shared photos that suggest they blanket train.) Same goes for all her adult siblings, though I still afford a bit of wiggle room to those still at home (except Jana - she’s almost 30 at this point and I just don’t think she deserves the same leniency from me that the ones who just turned 18 do. I completely respect that others might feel differently on that though.)

[lexiloumarie]

There was some discussion after the one conference/speaking engagement that Michelle and ofMichelle did with the Pecans about husband's leadership being misguided or something similar that pointed to a daughter (I've gotta go back and find the speech or the thread).

We speculated on pants and Jill's piercing being the issue but I've wondered for awhile now what else more severely against their doctrine it could be because pants never seemed to fit. If they have at least one daughter being led to use birth control by a husband (jinger, Jill) that to me would seem more like being led astray. They seem to look past pants with friends (Bates women, Laura) but birth control seems to be a big no - sinful and leading them away from G-d. 

[lumpentheologie]

Yeah, I could totally see Derick deciding they were going to limit children being a reason for a split with JB and M.  And for Jill's post saying you have to be responsible for your own decisions even if others disagree.  

And Jill's response that they can't know she won't be pregnant this year shows that they could be trying to limit family size and still think of it as "leaving it up to God."  No birth control is 100% effective, so if they're having sex, God can still get them pregnant. 

It will be weird to wrap my head around if Derick ends up "freeing" Jill from some of the worst aspects of the cult she was raised in while continuing to be a dickwad and to spew hate. 

Edited July 19, 2019 by lumpentheologie

[JordynDarby5]

12 hours ago, singsingsing said:

The Dillards were live on Instagram tonight and addressed the topic of future pregnancies:

-Jill is not currently pregnant

-Derick said she wouldn’t be pregnant this year, then she questioned how he knew that, and he amended it to ‘we won’t have a baby this year’

-In answer to how many kids they want: (jokingly) ‘At least two.’

So, did Derick make that decision on his own? It doesn't sound like Jill knew anything about it or she wouldn't have asked him how he knew that. 

[singsingsing]

To me it seemed like Derick was feeling pretty damn confident that Jill would not be pregnant this year, but Jill was not in agreement, so he backtracked. It is possible he just misspoke, though, and really did mean that she wouldn’t be having a baby this year (which she obviously won’t be if she’s not pregnant now).

[LacyMay]

Am I the only one who is really curious as to where they are?

[Screamapillar]

Jill and Derick seemed extremely pleased/smug to produce a Honeymoon baby but the reality of childbirth and child rearing has slowed them down. I suspect Derick especially doesn't want a quiver. He doesn't seem to have endless patience for the two kids he already has.

Or they just don't have Jim Bob and Michelle's fertility. Who knows with these people.

Also I know some folks round here seem to have a soft spot for old JD, but I shudder every time I remember him saying "Git 'er done" in reference to Jill's Honeymoon baby pregnancy announcement. That was gross.

[SassyPants]

I think it’s entirely possible that the 2 men who have lived in less cultish familes and world, where 2 or 3 children and working parents are more the norm, have decided to utilize some family planning tactics and have brought their Duggar wives along on the ride. While Jinger might be fully on board, perhaps Jill still has some reservations. I’m sure that DD drills the medical and financial reasons for more cautious and planned conceptions, which only makes sense. 

[NoKidsAndCounting]

As much as I dislike Derick, maybe he has brought some common sense to Jill with regard to having 6 plus kids or even more than two kids...After all, she's had complicated births with both Sam and Israel.

I've been looking at Sierra's posts, and the poor lady is scaring me.  She needs help and needs to stop having kids.  She's already had the "laundry room" meltdown.  Perhaps Derick has enough common sense to know that he doesn't want his family to go through something like that.  Still can't stand the man, though.

[AtlanticTug]

14 minutes ago, NoKidsAndCounting said:

As much as I dislike Derick, maybe he has brought some common sense to Jill with regard to having 6 plus kids or even more than two kids...After all, she's had complicated births with both Sam and Israel.

Same.

Derrick is loathsome but if he is playing a role in delaying more children or limiting their number, he is 100% right to do so.

[Melissa1977]

It's not the first time that Derick implies they don't leave pregnancies up to God. When Izzy was little, Derick said that they were going to look for a baby "next year". He was clearly talking about decisions or plans, not about God's will.

 

[SassyPants]

DD might also be using the notion that children deserve more parental time and resources than a litter of stray cats. Maybe he has spoken with Jill about the fact that you can never do and provide more for greater numbers than you can for fewer, especially when limited resources are involved, and debt free living is touted.

Maybe Sweet Jilly Muffin has finally been introduced to the world of common sense.

[Silas]

I definitely think they're limiting their family size but IDK if it's because of Jill's birth experiences, common sense, a mixture of everything, etc. Whoever is responsible for the decision...good for them. But hey, even a broken clock is right twice a day.