Trace Bates 1: The Flossing Fundie

[JermajestyDuggar]

Oh the Bates kids watch tv now. Jelly and Gil gave up on that awhile ago. About three or four years back, Judson and Jeb said their favorite show was Paw Patrol. The little ones are growing up so differently compared to the oldest ones. Just like in the Duggar family.

[Vivi_music]

3 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Oh the Bates kids watch tv now. Jelly and Gil gave up on that awhile ago. About three or four years back, Judson and Jeb said their favorite show was Paw Patrol. The little ones are growing up so differently compared to the oldest ones. Just like in the Duggar family.

I wonder if the older Bates (or Duggars) resent their younger siblings for those kind of things? Because they were so cut off and isolated from pop culture, they could not enjoy animated shows or movies, but their younger siblings can.

[Seculardaisy]

9 hours ago, lumpentheologie said:

You're giving them a fair bit of credit!  I wouldn't be surprised if the answer was more like "Oh, it's a place where sad poor people who've never head of Jesus live." 

*Lawson starts furtively planning another mission vacation.*

[LillyP]

On 2/28/2020 at 6:04 PM, Vivi_music said:

I wonder if the older Bates (or Duggars) resent their younger siblings for those kind of things? Because they were so cut off and isolated from pop culture, they could not enjoy animated shows or movies, but their younger siblings can.

We've heard Zach make comments on a few different occasions about how the younger kids have it way easier, and particularly how his parents are much less strict. At one point he even joked that it was because they were just too old and tired to discipline. 

[lizzybee]

Not exactly the same, but my sister and I are 12 years apart and my dad parented her totally different than he did me. He says it was like he raised two only children. Their relationship is different than the one he and I have. It isn’t necessarily a good or bad thing and he has consistently been an affectionate father, but from my observation he was a better one as a whole at nearly 40 than he was at 27. Life and parenting experience I’m sure is a factor in these situations.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

2 hours ago, lizzybee said:

Not exactly the same, but my sister and I are 12 years apart and my dad parented her totally different than he did me. He says it was like he raised two only children. Their relationship is different than the one he and I have. It isn’t necessarily a good or bad thing and he has consistently been an affectionate father, but from my observation he was a better one as a whole at nearly 40 than he was at 27. Life and parenting experience I’m sure is a factor in these situations.

Similar situation - I'm 12 years younger than my eldest sister and we had wildly different relationships with him.  Hell, I'm still a Daddy's girl and he's been dead over 25 years.

She used to say, "You had a daddy...I had a father."  Ouch - but she wasn't wrong.  Sometimes time will help one lighten up in a good way.

[rebeccawriter01]

It can be normal for parenting styles to evolve. Even grandparenting styles can do that. My grandparents on my mother's side of the family were very different with their children (9 total). Mom was the oldest and they were super strict with her, including not letting her date or talk to boys other than family unless they approved. They lived 10 minutes from where the Bates live now. The younger boys drank, smoked, and knocked up half the female population of the high school.

My cousins remember my grandparents as mean and very strict. I'm an only child. They doted on me, so my memories are very different. I remember a fun grandmother and a grandfather who was affectionate and loving. My cousins remember getting spanked and being in trouble. The grandparents always acted like I was innocent and wouldn't punish me. 

18 hours ago, LillyP said:

We've heard Zach make comments on a few different occasions about how the younger kids have it way easier, and particularly how his parents are much less strict. At one point he even joked that it was because they were just too old and tired to discipline. 

Zach has made it clear, as has Alyssa, that there were parenting techniques and decisions that they are going to refuse to carry out with their own kids. On the other hand, Erin seems determined to be her mother's twin. Michaela is a bit of the odd one out there. She was not doted on like Erin by Kelly Jo and Gil, but she seems to be very nostalgic when it comes to growing up with all those siblings. I think that in part is because she had an important role basically mothering her siblings for years. While she got the husband she wanted, she hasn't been able to have children and probably does miss that role of caregiver that she had a child and teen. 

Even Carlin and Tori have made comments about how much Kelly Jo spends on the younger kids and grandkids. It would be interesting to know how Lawson, Trace, and Nathan see things. While they didn't have to cook and clean/potty train the younger kids, they did give up part of their youth to work for the family business and support the family (Lawson). I'd bet there is some bitterness there. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

15 hours ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

It can be normal for parenting styles to evolve. Even grandparenting styles can do that. My grandparents on my mother's side of the family were very different with their children (9 total). Mom was the oldest and they were super strict with her, including not letting her date or talk to boys other than family unless they approved. They lived 10 minutes from where the Bates live now. The younger boys drank, smoked, and knocked up half the female population of the high school.

My cousins remember my grandparents as mean and very strict. I'm an only child. They doted on me, so my memories are very different. I remember a fun grandmother and a grandfather who was affectionate and loving. My cousins remember getting spanked and being in trouble. The grandparents always acted like I was innocent and wouldn't punish me. 

Zach has made it clear, as has Alyssa, that there were parenting techniques and decisions that they are going to refuse to carry out with their own kids. On the other hand, Erin seems determined to be her mother's twin. Michaela is a bit of the odd one out there. She was not doted on like Erin by Kelly Jo and Gil, but she seems to be very nostalgic when it comes to growing up with all those siblings. I think that in part is because she had an important role basically mothering her siblings for years. While she got the husband she wanted, she hasn't been able to have children and probably does miss that role of caregiver that she had a child and teen. 

Even Carlin and Tori have made comments about how much Kelly Jo spends on the younger kids and grandkids. It would be interesting to know how Lawson, Trace, and Nathan see things. While they didn't have to cook and clean/potty train the younger kids, they did give up part of their youth to work for the family business and support the family (Lawson). I'd bet there is some bitterness there. 

I would love to know what Lawson truly thinks. But I doubt he would ever come out with any harsh or bitter criticisms of his parents. That’s just not how Lawson rolls. He likes to put out this perfect facade for the public. We won’t hear any of his true feelings on the topic for some time.

[rebeccawriter01]

4 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I would love to know what Lawson truly thinks. But I doubt he would ever come out with any harsh or bitter criticisms of his parents. That’s just not how Lawson rolls. He likes to put out this perfect facade for the public. We won’t hear any of his true feelings on the topic for some time.

Agreed. He and Nathan are brand ambassadors for the family. Most of the boys probably won't say much, as despite some hardships, they are treated much better than their sisters. Someone questioned Kelly Jo the other day if one of the daughters would be allowed to go sans chaperone to a another country for months. 

Lawson, more so than many of the siblings, benefits from the show and the whole brand of the family. He wouldn't be allowed or able to do his music or any of the travelling if he was still stuck mowing lawns and shopping for milk and cold cuts at Walmart. From what it looks like, Nathan, Lawson, and Trace are allowed to come and go as they please and live rent free (assumed) at this point. 

[neuroticcat]

I will never forget the episode where a 14 or 15 year old Lawson loaned his parents money for groceries for the family - money he had earned from his work.

That ranks up there with the revealing moment where Jill Duggar talked about hiding in the bathroom to eat food.

What was normative for these kids is sad. 

PS I think Lawson working at a young age is great and am all for young people contributing to family life in meaningful ways. But I have an almost 14 year old and can’t imagine the responsibility of earning enough to help feed a family of 21 because mom and dad don’t have the money. In that sense I think he and all of them should enjoy the perks they now have and the financial stability.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

13 minutes ago, neuroticcat said:

I will never forget the episode where a 14 or 15 year old Lawson loaned his parents money for groceries for the family - money he had earned from his work.

That ranks up there with the revealing moment where Jill Duggar talked about hiding in the bathroom to eat food.

What was normative for these kids is sad. 

PS I think Lawson working at a young age is great and am all for young people contributing to family life in meaningful ways. But I have an almost 14 year old and can’t imagine the responsibility of earning enough to help feed a family of 21 because mom and dad don’t have the money. In that sense I think he and all of them should enjoy the perks they now have and the financial stability.

Yep.  And this was around the same time the bio from IBLP on Gil was circulating where he was proud of being able to raise his family without a steady income.

But he wasn't doing it, Lawson was providing for their family.  As was the tax payer when he said they used ER for routine medical care like ear infections.  

Way to let others subsidize your choices, asshole.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Trace is hanging out with the Wissmanns again. I’m starting to think it’s Logan Smith who is interested in a Wissmann girl. Look how Stephen Wissmann strategically placed himself between Logan and Hannah. 

[rebeccawriter01]

On 3/8/2020 at 2:38 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

Trace is hanging out with the Wissmanns again. I’m starting to think it’s Logan Smith who is interested in a Wissmann girl. Look how Stephen Wissmann strategically placed himself between Logan and Hannah. 

With the way Trace is standing and his facial expression, he looks like a cartoon villain about to announce a dastardly plan. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 minutes ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

With the way Trace is standing and his facial expression, he looks like a cartoon villain about to announce a dastardly plan. 

Lol he does. He looks so uncomfortable compared to Logan. He’s so relaxed. It just makes the contrast even more obvious. 

In the picture from last month, Logan again looks way more comfortable. Look how he’s leaning in. Logan is way more comfortable with the Wissmanns. 

Edited March 10, 2020 by JermajestyDuggar

[QuiverFullofBooks]

On this week’s episode of Bringing Up Bates, they showed Trace’s courtship proposal to Chaney. It must suck to have your former relationship on TV as though it was current. The interesting thing was that he said he was going to ask her to be his girlfriend, and they never used the word “courting.” Weirdly, he asked her to take the next step and begin a relationship, and she said yes, and then they both said “I love you!” Kids, if you’re at “I love you,” you've already been in a relationship for a while.

[JoyfulSel]

5 minutes ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

On this week’s episode of Bringing Up Bates, they showed Trace’s courtship proposal to Chaney. It must suck to have your former relationship on TV as though it was current. The interesting thing was that he said he was going to ask her to be his girlfriend, and they never used the word “courting.” Weirdly, he asked her to take the next step and begin a relationship, and she said yes, and then they both said “I love you!” Kids, if you’re at “I love you,” you've already been in a relationship for a while.

I think even when Trace asked Chaney's dad for permission (ugh), he didn't mention courtship then either; he just said they should take the next step to start dating.

[Johannah]

Isn’t saying I love you giving away LOTS of heart pieces? Like, all of them??

[Johannah]

Just watched the episode. Chaney wins the go kart race (and seems embarrassed and guilty, saying she was just trying not to come in last). As they’re walking out she says to Trace, “next time I’ll let you win,” to which he responds, “yeah, you’re supposed to let the guy win,” and she nods repeatedly. 

I know we all KNOW they believe this kind of shit, but to hear it stated so blatantly (and by people who are so YOUNG!) was jarring and depressing. ?

Also, Gil didn’t know what Tex Mex was. 
 

And I’m holding onto some shred of hope that Chaney dumped Trace bc he’s a misogynistic ass and she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life pretending to suck at everything and diminish her worth as a person in order to protect his fragile ego. ?

[JordynDarby5]

2 hours ago, Johannah said:

Just watched the episode. Chaney wins the go kart race (and seems embarrassed and guilty, saying she was just trying not to come in last). As they’re walking out she says to Trace, “next time I’ll let you win,” to which he responds, “yeah, you’re supposed to let the guy win,” and she nods repeatedly. 

I know we all KNOW they believe this kind of shit, but to hear it stated so blatantly (and by people who are so YOUNG!) was jarring and depressing. ?

Also, Gil didn’t know what Tex Mex was. 
 

And I’m holding onto some shred of hope that Chaney dumped Trace bc he’s a misogynistic ass and she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life pretending to suck at everything and diminish her worth as a person in order to protect his fragile ego. ?

I'm always convinced its the girl who ends the courtships when it comes to the Bates. But this now the second time Trace didn't get the girl. Its kind of hard to imagine its not him. Hopefully that's exactly what Chaney realized and bolted.

[llucie]

I have only read recaps of the episode but i found interesting that her father said to Trace that he didnt want her to move away from Texas, probably that factored a lot in her decision to break the relationship, because i dont see how Trace could have moved there when his job is in Tennesse.

Maybe they should start looking for girlfriends locally, the distance from her family i think was also a factor in Ashley-Nathan breaking up.

[Johannah]

When Trace asked her dad if he could ask Chaney to be his girlfriend, her dad, said “okay, but remember what we talked about?” and Trace said, “yeah, Texas?” and her dad said, sounding irritated, “I didn’t raise ‘em to move away.” ?

Aside from the fact that they’re speaking about her as though she’s property, with zero say from Chaney about where SHE might want to live, isn’t her dad’s comment the exact OPPOSITE of leave and cleave???

[Vivi_music]

47 minutes ago, Johannah said:

When Trace asked her dad if he could ask Chaney to be his girlfriend, her dad, said “okay, but remember what we talked about?” and Trace said, “yeah, Texas?” and her dad said, sounding irritated, “I didn’t raise ‘em to move away.” ?

Aside from the fact that they’re speaking about her as though she’s property, with zero say from Chaney about where SHE might want to live, isn’t her dad’s comment the exact OPPOSITE of leave and cleave???

Is the ''leave and cleave'' philosophy very widespread in fundie circles? I mean... I don't expect every parent to believe in it. Do we know what is Chaney's family religious affiliations?

Edit: Agreed that it is weird to not even consider your own child's wishes but, that - sadly - doesn't surprise me.

Edited April 4, 2020 by Vivi_music

[Johannah]

Her family is homeschooling evangelical fundamentalist like the Duggars. Not sure about involvement specifically in ATI/IBLP. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

4 hours ago, llucie said:

I have only read recaps of the episode but i found interesting that her father said to Trace that he didnt want her to move away from Texas, probably that factored a lot in her decision to break the relationship, because i dont see how Trace could have moved there when his job is in Tennesse.

Maybe they should start looking for girlfriends locally, the distance from her family i think was also a factor in Ashley-Nathan breaking up.

Oh I’m sure there are plenty of fundie girls that would happily move to TN to be with Trace. But the problem is that Trace and Nathan pick girls that are all wrong for them. 

[AussieKrissy]

On 4/4/2020 at 5:46 PM, JordynDarby5 said:

I'm always convinced its the girl who ends the courtships when it comes to the Bates. But this now the second time Trace didn't get the girl. Its kind of hard to imagine its not him. Hopefully that's exactly what Chaney realized and bolted.

Who was the first