Trace Bates 1: The Flossing Fundie

[AussieKrissy]

1 hour ago, Seculardaisy said:

Quick somebody tell Alyssa and Trace that single women are looking for men with jobs and life goals.

So you can put down floors? That don’t impress me much.

Now I have that song in my head.... lol

[becky_m2001]

On 12/4/2020 at 8:37 PM, Angelface said:

I wonder if, perhaps, it was the thought of leaving her family in Texas that was a large part of the reason for the breakup.

Chaney's father literally told Trace that he raises his daughters to stay in Texas and that moving to another state was out of the question.

[ophelia]

18 hours ago, Seculardaisy said:

That don’t impress me much.

I now I don't get Shania Twain out of my head ?

[Lgirlrocks]

19 hours ago, becky_m2001 said:

Chaney's father literally told Trace that he raises his daughters to stay in Texas and that moving to another state was out of the question.

What if they want to move? That seems so silly to me. What if god called them to marry a missionary that is overseas?  I get wanting to keep them close to home but when they are adults they make their own choices.

[becky_m2001]

39 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

What if they want to move? That seems so silly to me. What if god called them to marry a missionary that is overseas?  I get wanting to keep them close to home but when they are adults they make their own choices.

I really think that Chaney's father had something to do with the break-up. He was visibly unhappy about the courtship, both on his FB page when the announcement was dropped and also on BuB.

[becky_m2001]

This is the post Chaney's dad made on FB when the official announcement came out.

[AussieKrissy]

Dam, that’s some serious ummmm well, no wonder they broke up!!!! Ba ha ha 

[becky_m2001]

1 hour ago, AussieKrissy said:

Dam, that’s some serious ummmm well, no wonder they broke up!!!! Ba ha ha 

I never really believed that their break-up was entirely their decision. They seemed way too into each other right up until the announcement finally came that they had broken up. I think Chaney was enjoying her trips to Tennessee a little too much and it scared dear old Dad. Can't have those helpless little girls wandering off to other states where he can't keep an eye on them at all times... ?

[Audrey2]

I have had a theory for awhile, and it is just a hunch, that when the Bates guys first begin courting they are really into the idea of being a headship. Maybe Trace was giving off these vibes and, although Chaney was into courting, leading to marriage and adulthood, maybe her Dad saw red flags. 

[Tangy Bee]

Got a feeling Chaney's dad felt she should be older to be thinking about marriage at that time. Plus I think the Bates were too fundie for him which is why Chaney & Trace probably thought it was best to say they were "dating" to sound more normal.

[FrumpyAtheist]

I always thought Chaney was way too good for Trace. Her family probably saw it, and it might have taken her a while to see it too because crushes can be blinding when you're young. He has no job, no education, and no real goals or life prospects. Based on their house Chaney's family looks very comfortable economically, and I'm sure they don't want downward mobility for their kids.

Also, Trace came across as terribly chauvinistic and insecure on the Texas visit episode. He was so fixated on showing off athletic ability to Chaney, and he seemed genuinely depressed when she beat him at everything. She might have seen a future of having to prop up her husband's ego while he fails at jobs, sports, and life and realized it really wasn't appealing.

[HereticHick]

On 3/13/2021 at 3:53 PM, Seculardaisy said:

So you can put down floors? That don’t impress me much.

Shania reference for the win. Your avatar gets a leopard-print catsuit.

[nolongerIFBx]

18 hours ago, becky_m2001 said:

This is the post Chaney's dad made on FB when the official announcement came out.

He very well may not have been approving of the relationship (which I find unlikely given that parental approval is more important then the child's wishes in Gothardism) , but you can also read this like "I'm sad my baby is grown up and may leave me."

[Nothing if not critical]

A bit off topic, but Chaney shared this in her insta story, and I think it's one of the most horrible things I've ever seen: 

 

To claim that a positive, confident approach to life, like believing in yourself and your own worth, is nothing but the whispering of Satan - I have no words. Those poor, brainwashed kids...

Edited March 16, 2021 by Nothing if not critical

[SorenaJ]

Is she even remotely for real?! Gosh, I hope she never has kids, so that nonsense ends with her. 

[Italiangirl]

All I can say is WTAF??? She is trolling, it has to be right? Right? I should know better by now, but every time one of them finds a way to sink the bar even lower... I'm speechless truly 

[Vivi_music]

18 hours ago, Nothing if not critical said:

A bit off topic, but Chaney shared this in her insta story, and I think it's one of the most horrible things I've ever seen: 

 

To claim that a positive, confident approach to life, like believing in yourself and your own worth, is nothing but the whispering of Satan - I have no words. Those poor, brainwashed kids...

That is so weird. I don't get it. Is it a way to say that being confident in yourself is... bad?

I have been in therapy for almost the last 4 years, trying to work on my anxiety and self-esteem. My therapist and I call my anxiety my little mean voice in my head. The one that makes a list of all the ways something can go wrong. The one that tells me this or this project is too big for me and I won't be able to finish it. The voice that tells me my friends don't truly appreciate me and love me. I hate that voice. It's a delusional and mean little voice. I know it's there and maybe it always will be, I've been working hard in trying to tell it to stop. Still working on it, but sometimes I do manage to silence it. If I was a religious person, I'd associate the mean voice way more with Satan, and the good voice, trying to tell me I can do it, to God. I would've thought that little ''Believe in yourself'' voice was in fact God. Wouldn't God wish for you to be confident in your abilities and become the best version of yourself? God is suppose to love all his children no? I wouldn't believe he'd reduce all of us to self-loathing?

Mind you, I was raised very ''secular'' (meaning we didn't lead a super religious lifestyle) catholic, and now I consider myself agnostic, and maybe culturally catholic. SO VERY far from Fundamentalism. My mom always said that God was a little shining light inside of you. He was that spark that made you who you were, your soul basically. Believing in that spark certainly can help you become better and do good around you no?

[MaryOrMartha]

It's typical fundie word gymnastics. Don't believe in yourself, believe in God. It's the same thing.

[meep]

Yeah, in fundieworld, God is responsible for your talents, your characteristics, your achievements. "You" didn't really do anything. You just "followed him." That's why they say "all the glory to God." It's really messed up.10+ years away and I'm still working on my self-esteem. No matter what you do, you are taught that you are nothing.

"But I am a worm and not a man,
scorned by everyone, despised by the people." - Psalm 22:6

This is also the verse that inspired the lyric "for such a worm as I" in the hymn At The Cross. 

Sorry for the little lesson lol. 
 

[ophelia]

17 hours ago, MaryOrMartha said:

It's typical fundie word gymnastics. Don't believe in yourself, believe in God. It's the same thing.

I've seen posts like that a lot on SM in the last few months. "Christians" despising self love, because you should reserve all your love for god. It's absolutely fucked up and dangerous.

[JordynDarby5]

Love the Shania reference! 

[GuineaPigCourtship]

Not loving yourself and not using and taking pride in your gifts is also spurning and wasting god's gift to you, so I guess it can be argued both ways.

Atheist here, culturally Christian in a lot of my speech and morals.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Trace’s ex is with Elijah in Hawaii. I’m starting to think they might be dating. I thought they were just friends. But maybe there’s more to it. 

[ihaveanexamintwodays]

Elijah has been with Chaney's family a lot of times in the past year! It's definitely led to speculation about the two of them. I'm wondering if Elijah might be in to one of her sisters though....they're always in a group with her two single older sisters. No idea how old Elijah is, would guess mid-20s or so...

[JermajestyDuggar]

On 5/28/2021 at 9:42 PM, ihaveanexamintwodays said:

Elijah has been with Chaney's family a lot of times in the past year! It's definitely led to speculation about the two of them. I'm wondering if Elijah might be in to one of her sisters though....they're always in a group with her two single older sisters. No idea how old Elijah is, would guess mid-20s or so...

I thought the Hawaii thing was strange because that’s where Elijah is from. When he is in the mainland, he is usually staying with fundies. I *think* he was with the Duggars around the time Josh was arrested. He’s also stayed with the Wissmanns a lot. If Chaney is going to Hawaii with him (probably with some chaperones too), it seems like more than friendship. That’s just my hunch.