Trace Bates 1: The Flossing Fundie

[mysweetetc]

I think he was a bit of a heel for specifically stating that Chaney didn't want to move forward with the relationship. Sounds like passive-aggression masked in very polite wording to me. Was it necessary to specify reasons, rather than just say "we're no longer together?" Aren't your broken heart pieces like, more exposed by airing out all the details? I don't know. The post left a bad taste in my mouth. Hopefully Chaney saw the writing on the wall and ran the hell in the other direction, rather than become a wife and mom in quick succession at such a young age.

[RosyDaisy]

My theory:  They're all fundie assholes.

[JermajestyDuggar]

8 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

Wasn't there rumors along the way about Lawson and Jinger and Carlin and Joe (which I could never see in a million years.  In what universe would Joe Duggar be fit to star in her insta pics?)

Is it possible they just keep the girls relationships under wraps until it's a sure thing?  Because of the chewing gum thing, boys don't become used chewing gum, do they?

 

 

I never heard about Carlin and Joe. I think that was all speculation. Michael has always been head over heels for Brandon so I don’t think she courted before him. And some of the other Bates girls started courting so young that I can’t imagine they courted and broke up with anyone before that. Erin had time before Chad. But I never heard anything about Erin.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

Just now, mysweetetc said:

I think he was a bit of a heel for specifically stating that Chaney didn't want to move forward with the relationship. Sounds like passive-aggression masked in very polite wording to me. Was it necessary to specify reasons, rather than just say "we're no longer together?" Aren't your broken heart pieces like, more exposed by airing out all the details? I don't know. The post left a bad taste in my mouth. Hopefully Chaney saw the writing on the wall and ran the hell in the other direction, rather than become a wife and mom in quick succession at such a young age.

Idk - I thought he was being somewhat chivalrous taking the hit of saying publicly he was dumped rather than have people speculate on why he dumped her.  

Or not...I should stop trying to understand these people and go home.

Just now, JermajestyDuggar said:

I never heard about Carlin and Joe. I think that was all speculation. Michael has always been head over heels for Brandon so I don’t think she courted before him. And some of the other Bates girls started courting so young that I can’t imagine they courted and broke up with anyone before that. Erin had time before Chad. But I never heard anything about Erin.

The only thing I'd heard about Erin was that back in the day she had a crush on smugger.

I don't remember where I heard it and frankly, sounds like fanfic to me.  In a culture where a woman's beauty is her greatest asset she had to have known from jump she was out of his league by orders of magnitude.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 minutes ago, RosyDaisy said:

My theory:  They're all fundie assholes.

I think Lawson and Nathan are. Zach doesn’t seem like a total asshole. And Trace always seemed vain but not a dick. 

9 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

he only thing I'd heard about Erin was that back in the day she had a crush on smugger.

If I remember correctly, Erin admitted to having a crush on him when she was much younger. Long before the info came out about him. 

[Seculardaisy]

33 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think it’s odd that none of the Bates girls had a broken relationship. But Zach, Nathan, and Trace all have. 

What are some of the theories? 

Maybe Chaney realized that none of Trace’s dabbling in different jobs are going to result in an actual career or income that could support their potential mega family. Maybe these relatively normal women get to see behind the veil of what it’s actually like to be a woman in Bates world, I mean for the men that join the family they’re getting a solid deal, minor fame, they will be praised by their wives daily, they get to be godly leaders, but what do the women get? An endless stream of babies and housework and a requirement of having sex at demand all while dealing with morning sickness and telling your husband he’s the greatest ever all day every day?

[JermajestyDuggar]

27 minutes ago, Seculardaisy said:

Maybe Chaney realized that none of Trace’s dabbling in different jobs are going to result in an actual career or income that could support their potential mega family. Maybe these relatively normal women get to see behind the veil of what it’s actually like to be a woman in Bates world, I mean for the men that join the family they’re getting a solid deal, minor fame, they will be praised by their wives daily, they get to be godly leaders, but what do the women get? An endless stream of babies and housework and a requirement of having sex at demand all while dealing with morning sickness and telling your husband he’s the greatest ever all day every day?

It seems possible. But you know what’s really weird? Comparing the Bates boys to the Duggar boys. The Duggar boys are much less handsome than the Bates boys and just as unemployable. Yet Josh, Joe, Si, And John are all married. Plus the Duggar boys have always seemed a little bit more shy than the Bates boys. It Just makes me wonder what is going on with the Bates boys.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I suppose it’s possible that the Bates boys tend to go after girls that are all wrong for them. Ashley was 100% wrong for Nathan. I’m still amazed that he went after her. She is a city girl through and through. There’s no way she would have been happy in the middle of nowhere Tennessee. Chaney might have been all wrong for Trace too. These Bates boys need to go after fundie girls who actually want to live in TN, possibly film their entire relationship, and get pregnant every other year. I have a suspicion that they aren’t doing that. 

[justmy2cents]

36 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It seems possible. But you know what’s really weird? Comparing the Bates boys to the Duggar boys. The Duggar boys are much less handsome than the Bates boys and just as unemployable. Yet Josh, Joe, Si, And John are all married. Plus the Duggar boys have always seemed a little bit more shy than the Bates boys. It Just makes me wonder what is going on with the Bates boys.

Maybe their looks draw in the ladies but once they get to know them the ladies say “um, no thanks.”

[JermajestyDuggar]

If I was a fundie match maker, I would tell Nathan to approach Allison Bontrager. She’s a farm girl who would likely move for her intended and would likely be fine with having a big family. Plus she already has a bit of notoriety with her family. So she could probably handle the filming of BUB. 

And I would tell Trace to go after Hannah Wissmann. She is also a farm girl who would probably move away from her family and have lots of kids no problem.

[ihaveanexamintwodays]

@HerNameIsBuffy Joe/Carlin was a loud rumor, though not quite as loud as Jinger/Lawson. I do think Jinger/Lawson might've been well-suited personality wise, but his star wasn't nearly as bright shiny and polished enough for her obviously lol. Joe, back in his Clown College post-ALERT days & pre-receding hairline, was pretty snacc ish haha - and I can see him being drawn to bright bubbly pre-instagram younger-Carlin....but bright bubbly Kendra is wayyyyyy more rural fundie. 

I agree with people saying the Bates boys are going for the wrong girls. They all went for fundie-lite women, and I always want to have that little sliver of unrealistic hope that *true love* will change them, but the ladies (I think Ashley and Chaney especially) weren't willing to sacrifice as much as The Bates Big Machine would require them to. Even if Trace weren't fundie (they met on a ski trip! not a Gothard event! ha) and even if they were totally smitten & personality-compatible, they'd have had some reasonable issues to work out as a couple.

first heartbreak is hard, even without being poorly set up to handle it by the fundie courtship model. 

[Tangy Bee]

Duggar guys appear to be playing it safe with women who grew up similar to how their sisters were raised. I feel bad for the Bates guys trying to marry "different" level fundie girls. The types of girls that would be happy with them...probably aren't even allowed to watch tv. Then again, Maxwell type fundies probably  would not even socialize with the Bates.

[Thorns]

Maybe she just did not want to be assimilated into the Bates (Sister) Borg for the rest of her life. 

[irish_dancing_canadian]

It looks like the boys need to get themselves their perfect fundie girl in order for their relationships to work. Even fundie-lite isnt working out. 

I can also see why some of the girls would end things, leg humper fans are something else to deal with. If I were to be a fundie, dont think I could date a Bates or Duggar, wouldnt want my life on TV, but thats just me. 

I do find it interesting that Zach is the only Bates son that has had success with a relationship, although he doesnt seem to be as egotastic as his other adult brothers.

I am interested to see how the young/teenage boys will turn out to be. Either more like Zach or more like Lawson/Nathan, or maybe even better.  Only time will tell. 

 

[formergothardite]

This just confirms to me that the Bates sons were raised to be real assholes. So much so that not even fundie girls want to be with them. Zach seems to have gotten a dose of humility after his failed courtship and was able to then find a spouse. Maybe the same will happen with Trace, but Nathan looks like he is the same sort of jerk that he always was. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I feel like Zach was never a huge asshole to begin with. Maybe the pressure of being the oldest and always doing the right thing as the oldest kept him in check. He also sees how different his childhood was from his youngest brothers. I have hope for Zach but I don’t have much hope for the other adult Bates boys. 

[kmachete14]

I think these Bates boys want a girl who wears jeans, and is funny and outspoken, has some education, and cares about having cute hair, and likes to do fun hobby things like skiing and hiking etc., but then can't comprehend how those girls aren't going to suddenly become meek, humble, give up their body for 10 kids, and stop doing fun activities to be perpetually pregnant. 

Like others have said, what they want visually and as young men in a courtship doesn't match with what they see in the future. These girls aren't right for them. 

The girls get married off more easily because they see marriage as an escape, while the boys see it as a way to keep the status quo. Not to mention, a fundie-lite boyfriend can "Lead you" in another direction, and you as the girl can gleefully "submit" to these welcome changes, whereas the Bates boys feel the pressure (thanks to the spiritual abuse from their upbringing) to "lead" the fundie-lite girl to their own fundie-straight path, and those girls don't want to submit to the constraints. 

Unfortunately, the Bates boys, if they truly want a meek, humble, perpetually pregnant cheerleader, are going to need to look for less "Shiny" girls (hard when even your sisters are beautiful and spunky), and go for the humble, frumpy, quiet types. When you are 21 and horny, that's hard to understand (but also just shows how they are too immature for this anyway). 

 

Edited February 4, 2020 by kmachete14

[kmachete14]

To add to my answer:

Whitney (when Zach first met her) wasn't so polished. She had mousy hair, she didn't do her makeup like she does now, she quickly conformed to Bates skirts-only rule, she was from a broken home, etc. She was no Chaney. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

9 minutes ago, kmachete14 said:

I think these Bates boys want a girl who wears jeans, and is funny and outspoken, has some education, and cares about having cute hair, and likes to do fun hobby things like skiing and hiking etc., but then can't comprehend how those girls aren't going to suddenly become meek, humble, give up their body for 10 kids, and stop doing fun activities to be perpetually pregnant. 

Like others have said, what they want visually and as young men in a courtship doesn't match with what they see in the future. These girls aren't right for them. 

The girls get married off more easily because they see marriage as an escape, while the boys see it as a way to keep the status quo. Not to mention, a fundie-lite boyfriend can "Lead you" in another direction, and you as the girl can gleefully "submit" to these welcome changes, whereas the Bates boys feel the pressure (thanks to the spiritual abuse from their upbringing) to "lead" the fundie-lite girl to their own fundie-straight path, and those girls don't want to submit to the constraints. 

Unfortunately, the Bates boys, if they truly want a meek, humble, perpetually pregnant cheerleader, are going to need to look for less "Shiny" girls (hard when even your sisters are beautiful and spunky), and go for the humble, frumpy, quiet types. When you are 21 and horny, that's hard to understand (but also just shows how they are too immature for this anyway). 

 

For some reason, the Morton boys seem to be able to do this. They find the little spunky fundie girls that are somehow willing to live on the Morton farm and pop out 4 kids in less than 3.5 years. 

[Ms.Pickle]

17 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think it’s odd that none of the Bates girls had a broken relationship. But Zach, Nathan, and Trace all have. 

What are some of the theories? 

In the episode where Carlin goes to Evan's family's home before they started courting, they sang a song together about having your heart broken and Carlin made some comment about her relating to the song. Lawson has also mentioned he wouldn't have any inspiration for his songs if it wasn't for heartbreak. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

7 minutes ago, Ms.Pickle said:

In the episode where Carlin goes to Evan's family's home before they started courting, they sang a song together about having your heart broken and Carlin made some comment about her relating to the song. Lawson has also mentioned he wouldn't have any inspiration for his songs if it wasn't for heartbreak. 

It’s completely possible they’ve had heartbreak. However both Lawson and Carlin are known for their exaggeration. So they may have really liked someone who didn’t like them back without it ever getting to an official courtship stage. Which basically happened to every single one of us sometime in our lives. Especially the teen years.

Edited February 4, 2020 by JermajestyDuggar

[MaryOrMartha]

25 minutes ago, kmachete14 said:

I think these Bates boys want a girl who wears jeans, and is funny and outspoken, has some education, and cares about having cute hair, and likes to do fun hobby things like skiing and hiking etc., but then can't comprehend how those girls aren't going to suddenly become meek, humble, give up their body for 10 kids, and stop doing fun activities to be perpetually pregnant. 

Like others have said, what they want visually and as young men in a courtship doesn't match with what they see in the future. These girls aren't right for them. 

The girls get married off more easily because they see marriage as an escape, while the boys see it as a way to keep the status quo. Not to mention, a fundie-lite boyfriend can "Lead you" in another direction, and you as the girl can gleefully "submit" to these welcome changes, whereas the Bates boys feel the pressure (thanks to the spiritual abuse from their upbringing) to "lead" the fundie-lite girl to their own fundie-straight path, and those girls don't want to submit to the constraints. 

Unfortunately, the Bates boys, if they truly want a meek, humble, perpetually pregnant cheerleader, are going to need to look for less "Shiny" girls (hard when even your sisters are beautiful and spunky), and go for the humble, frumpy, quiet types. When you are 21 and horny, that's hard to understand (but also just shows how they are too immature for this anyway). 

 

They need Kendra and Lauren Duggar types.

[Screamapillar]

18 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think it’s odd that none of the Bates girls had a broken relationship. But Zach, Nathan, and Trace all have. 

What are some of the theories? 

They're self-proclaimed "Momma's Boys."

Can you even imagine Kelly as a MIL? I would run like hell.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

25 minutes ago, Ms.Pickle said:

Lawson has also mentioned he wouldn't have any inspiration for his songs if it wasn't for heartbreak. 

Does he yodel?  What kind of heartbreak results in that?

[Seculardaisy]

36 minutes ago, kmachete14 said:

To add to my answer:

Whitney (when Zach first met her) wasn't so polished. She had mousy hair, she didn't do her makeup like she does now, she quickly conformed to Bates skirts-only rule, she was from a broken home, etc. She was no Chaney. 

This is very true, I think Whitney felt lime she needed the Bates family at that time in her life. She has alluded to how Kelly became like a mother to her and how she spent all her time while Zach was at work, at the Bates home with his sisters.

Whitney “needed” a “stable family.” And for better or worse she found that in the Bates lifestyle.