Florida Stories 2: The Adventures of Florida Man (and Woman)

[Bluebirdbluebell]

1 hour ago, 47of74 said:

And apparently US aliens and Chinese dragons fighting prompted Florida man to steal a pickup to warn the Space Force.

Why is the Space Force still a thing? I thought it went away with Florida Man from Mar-a-Logo.

Edited July 27, 2022 by Bluebirdbluebell

[47of74]

30 minutes ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Why is the Space Force still a thing? I thought it went away with Florida Man from Mar-a-Logo.

Probably easier said than done at this point.  As I said before if any of the space cases run into one of these I hope to fornicating GOD they’re not stupid enough to launch an unprovoked attack on it. 
 

[47of74]

Florida woman said she was bored which is why she punched a deputy

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A Florida inmate charged with punching a corrections officer in the face said that she walloped the female victim because she “was bored” and “had nothing else to do,” according to a court filing.

Investigators say the deputy yesterday was escorting Jazmyne Levesque, 23, to a pod inside the Pinellas County jail when Levesque attacked. The deputy was “taken to a walk in clinic for treatment,” an arrest affidavit states.

After being read her rights, Levesque, seen at right, reportedly copped to the battery, saying she attacked the deputy “because she was bored, had nothing else to do, and was already in a couple of fights earlier in the day.”

Levesque was charged with a felony count of battery on a law enforcement officer.

Well, I think she's going to be a bit more bored for quite a bit longer after this.

PDs in Florida must have the most interesting caseloads.

[47of74]

Florida Man (who else of course) tried to tell the fuzz meth was legal now.  Worked as well as could be expected.

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That is what Enzo Zabala-Cardozo, 31, “advised” Florida cops who caught him, glass pipe at his lips, attempting to light up early yesterday in a St. Petersburg alleyway, according to an arrest affidavit.

Upon spotting police, Zabala-Cardozo began walking away, but not before declaring that, “Meth is legal now.” He did not offer further details as to when lawmakers legalized use of the highly addictive stimulant.

As it turns out, however, meth possession is still a crime in the Free State of Florida™. As such, Zabala-Cardozo was busted on a felony drug possession charge and a misdemeanor count of resisting police.

Zabala-Cardozo’s rap sheet includes multiple convictions for narcotics possession, as well as convictions for trespass, disorderly conduct, obstruction, and assault.

 

[47of74]

Florida woman sent a meat missile at her significant other

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Police say Rochelle Wright, 42, and the male victim were “involved in a verbal argument and were intoxicated” when the uncooked meat went airborne. Wright and the man, cops report, have been together for 20 years and are the parents of a juvenile.

According to a criminal complaint, Wright “became angry at the victim” while he was seated in a chair inside the family’s home in Tarpon Springs, a Tampa suburb. Wright, investigators allege, “subsequently picked up the steak and threw it at the victim.”

The meat, however, missed its mark. Instead, the steak struck the victim’s chair and a nearby wall. When questioned by police, Wright reportedly copped to the meat flinging, saying she was “tired of his behavior and their arguing.”

The complaint notes that the steak--identified as a “weapon”--was not confiscated by police.

Did someone eat the evidence?

[47of74]

Someone needs a new hobby

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A Florida Woman this year has made more than 11,000 harassing phone calls to a police emergency communications center, according to cops who say the defendant admitted that she “loves playing this game.”

Carla Jefferson, 50, was busted Monday evening on a misdemeanor charge of placing a torrent of phone calls to the St. Petersburg Police Department and the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office.

A criminal complaint alleges that Jefferson--during a single 24-hour period last month--called the police department’s emergency communications center 512 times.

Jefferson, investigators say, “harasses, belittles, swears at, argues with” police employees who answer her calls. “The content of these phone calls are vulgar, threatening, or obscene” and “contain extreme expletives, sexual innuendo, and belittling remarks to the communications staff,” according to a court filing.

 

[47of74]

Only Florida could Florida Man a bishop election as it appears the Diocese of Florida did electing Charlie Holt. 

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A central concern prompting the review was whether the diocese met the required quorum of resident clergy, given that rules were changed two days before the May 14 election to allow clergy to participate remotely while lay delegates had to appear in person. Some of the delegates filed a formal objection asserting that diocesan canons do not allow for remote voting and therefore those who did vote remotely did not count toward a quorum.

The Jacksonville-based diocese rebutted that claim and said the change was made because it was the only safe and reasonable way to reach a quorum. No objections were raised during the election itself, the diocese wrote.

The diocese referred the formal objection to Curry, following a process outlined in Episcopal Church Canons. Curry forwarded it to the churchwide Court of Review, which essentially sided with the objectors. It concluded “a clergy quorum was not reached” in accordance with the diocese’s official election process. Furthermore, “the irregularities in the convention process itself cast a shadow over the legitimacy of the election,” the Court of Review said, and “the action of the diocese in changing its manner of voting two days prior to the election was fundamentally unfair to the delegates of the convention and the candidates.”

 

[GreyhoundFan]

[47of74]

Florida woman met part of her bucket list challenge by getting arrested

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Janiya Shaimiracle Douglas, 19, was arrested in May on a felony charge for allegedly fleeing from cops while driving her Toyota on a roadway in Key Largo.

After a sheriff’s deputy spotted Douglas speeding “over 90 mph reckless” around 7:45 AM, she continued to drive without stopping as the patrol car--with its siren and emergency lights activated--pursued her vehicle, according to an arrest report.

Douglas, a cop alleged, was observed “looking at my patrol vehicle from behind as her window was cracked open.” After driving for about five miles, Douglas approached a three-way stop, where another deputy “deployed the spike system in front of the defendant’s vehicle.”

During a recent court appearance, Douglas, who has no prior criminal history, entered into a pretrial intervention agreement calling for her to serve 96 hours of community service and pay $750 in court costs. She also must write a letter of apology to Dosh.

 

[47of74]

Florida man shows us things not to do on a first date

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The motorcyclist who led cops on a high-speed chase because he was “trying to show off” for a female passenger with whom he was on a first date has pleaded guilty to a felony charge and will serve two months in jail, Florida court records show.

Taylor Beverly, a 23-year-old Tampa resident, copped Thursday to a fleeing or eluding charge in connection with the chase last year. In addition to the time behind bars, a judge suspended Beverly’s driver’s license for a year and ordered him to pay about $700 in fines and court costs.

After Beverly (seen at right) blew a red light in front of a squad car, police began chasing his 2017 Suzuki, which weaved in and out of traffic while running additional lights and traveling at “well over 100 mph,” according to an arrest affidavit.

While Beverly was fleeing, his passenger later told police, she was “screaming at him to stop, but he refused.” Referring to Beverly and the woman, a cop noted that, “This was their first date.”

 

[Howl]

All kidding aside on Florida Stories, Hurricane Ian is forecast to create storm surges up to 10 feet on the west coast, especially in the Tampa/Tampa Bay area and massive rainfall across Florida on the south/east side of the hurricane track. 

Anybody in that area? It looks flat as a pancake, zip for elevation above sea level.  Storm surge could be terrifying. 

[front hugs > duggs]

On 9/27/2022 at 9:13 AM, Howl said:

All kidding aside on Florida Stories, Hurricane Ian is forecast to create storm surges up to 10 feet on the west coast, especially in the Tampa/Tampa Bay area and massive rainfall across Florida on the south/east side of the hurricane track. 

Anybody in that area? It looks flat as a pancake, zip for elevation above sea level.  Storm surge could be terrifying. 

I’m in west Orlando, not entirely sure what to expect. My friend in Sarasota lost power by 10am today (just south of Tampa). It looked to stall right off the coast and is now moving slowly inland as we speak. Stalling seems bad as it can pick up strength. Looks like winds are only two mph less than the cat5 minimum. 

[CTRLZero]

We have friends who snowbird in Bradenton.  Fortunately, they are still up here in Washington state, but we’re watching that area closely.  It doesn’t look good, but in their case it will only be property damage of a second home.  It has to be so frightening to those who are experiencing it locally.  Hope everyone stays safe.  ❤️ 

[47of74]

My cousin and his family live in Ft. Myers so we're waiting to hear how they fared.  Hopefully they got through it OK.  My understanding is the area was hit hard by Ian.  My cousin's house was built to withstand some of it and this wasn't the first hurricane they went through. 

[Howl]

1 hour ago, 47of74 said:

My cousin's house was built to withstand some of it and this wasn't the first hurricane they went through.

I hope they fared OK.  No matter how stout the houses, the storm surge was horrific.  One woman was posting yesterday on Twitter with water lapping at the level of her mother's 2nd story porch at Fort Myers Beach. 

On 9/28/2022 at 10:02 AM, front hugs > duggs said:

I’m in west Orlando, not entirely sure what to expect.

Please let us know how you fared.  I expect the worst of it in your area would be flooding. 

On 7/27/2022 at 4:03 PM, Bluebirdbluebell said:

Why is the Space Force still a thing?

Space Force is still a thing, and they just released their official Space Force anthem.  They could have just recycled "Up in the air, Junior Birdmen, Up in the upside down..." song but they didn't.  WIKI for Junior Birdmen

[libgirl2]

2 hours ago, 47of74 said:

My cousin and his family live in Ft. Myers so we're waiting to hear how they fared.  Hopefully they got through it OK.  My understanding is the area was hit hard by Ian.  My cousin's house was built to withstand some of it and this wasn't the first hurricane they went through. 

My family on my  mother's side is from Dominican Republic. Her and them have seen a lot of hurricanes. Well made houses are cement block. My aunt's house had to be around 60 years old. It has withstood many a hurricane. Sure there is some damage but it is usually minimal.  I remember her telling me when Andrew came through, they put all the valuables in one room and my aunt and two of my cousins stayed in there until it was over. 

After Fiona, I asked my cousin how they fared and she said they were okay but as always, the poor who live in small wooden homes are the ones who suffer most. 

[47of74]

We heard from my cousin and his wife. They got through it ok. His wife is helping man the emergency response center while he and kids are at home. No power at the home and cell service is spotty. 

[front hugs > duggs]

@Howl thank you for your concern! We actually fared very well, but there is a ton of unprecedented flooding in the central Florida area- mostly central and east Orlando. Of course, the most devastation seems to be the Ft. Myers and Naples areas. Glad we prepared how we did, and very grateful we didn’t need many of our preparations. 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

I was hoping to hear about someone who, say, rode out the hurricane by riding his pet alligator in the Walmart parking lot while doing meth. 

[47of74]

1 hour ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

I was hoping to hear about someone who, say, rode out the hurricane by riding his pet alligator in the Walmart parking lot while doing meth. 

Well there was a shark swimming down a flooded street in Ft. Myers.

 

And yeah I wouldn't be surprised if someone did ride out Ian like you said @QuiverFullofBooks

[Audrey2]

So sorry to hear that about Fort Myers. 40 years ago my family spent Christmas at my snowbird grandparents trailer in Tice which is just outside of Fort Myers. I remember writing a story about it for my class called Please No Snow for Christmas, where I detailed our trip from snowy Ohio to sunny, warm Florida. We took the causeway to Sanibel island, part of which, I understand, has collapsed. We also went to the winter home of Thomas Edison.

Edited September 30, 2022 by Audrey2

[47of74]

A Florida Woman thought two women were cutting in line to get gas.  So naturally this idiot pulled a gun on them. 

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59-year-old Terri Lynn Johns was arrested and charged at a gas station in Lee County, which is an area that was hardest hit by Hurricane Ian.

But deputies say the female victims were simply trying to make a U-turn in the congested traffic.

“These are behaviors that WILL NOT be tolerated at any time much less during this state of emergency,” said LCSO.

Johns is charged with Aggravated Assault With a Deadly Weapon, and Displaying A Firearm During a Felony.

I hope the charges stick cause last time I check firearm possession by a felon is still a no no down there. 

[47of74]

Florida man in action again

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Armed with only a finger gun tucked under his shirt, a Florida Man yesterday robbed a bank, but was arrested within ten minutes of pulling off the $120 heist, police report.

According to investigators, Paul James Sinclair, 56, entered a Chase branch in Seminole around 1:25 PM Monday and approached teller Desiree Stefanik.

“With his hand under his shirt,” cops charge, Sinclair “made the shape of a gun with his finger” and demanded that Stefanik hand over cash. Sinclair also “advised her not to push any buttons as he waited for her to open her drawer.”

After the bank employee handed over $120, Sinclair fled the crime scene, according to a criminal complaint.

 

[47of74]

If nothing else can we please add an amendment saying the 2nd does the FUCK not apply in Florida?

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Two Florida men are each facing attempted murder charges after they allegedly shot at each other’s daughters during a road rage incident Saturday night.

William Joseph Hale, 35, and Frank Gilliard Allison, 43, were both arrested after a “cat and mouse” high-speed chase on Highway 1 in Nassau County, Florida.

The two men began arguing with each other on the road while driving aggressively and brake checking each other, according to Jacksonville radio station WOKV.

Things got so tense, a witness told Nassau County Sheriff’s deputies that “he knew something bad was going to happen.”

I’m so fucking sick of living in the US it ain’t even funny now. 

[47of74]

A Florida Man™ who had an image of the state tattooed on his forehead is in more trouble with the law now

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Florida Man™ is in trouble again.

Matthew Leatham, who has a tattoo of the Sunshine State on his forehead, is facing a felony battery charge after allegedly slicing up a friend with a razor, according to court records.

A witness told cops that Leatham, 24, and the male victim “engaged in a physical altercation after a verbal dispute over a cell phone” last month. During that 4:30 AM confrontation outside a gas station convenience store, the victim said, Leatham used a razor to cut him on his neck and leg.

This ain't his first go round either while sporting a Florida tattoo on his forehead.  Last year he got in trouble for trying to get a ride home by calling 911 and before that had been cited for reckless driving.