Bro Gary Hawkins 9: He still makes my dinner come back up

[griffin]

He just posted a video of his son singing a new song he wrote. The video is completely pixelated and he is rocking in his chair as he records, so it is hard to watch. I don't know how old the son is, so I'm afraid I'm not allowed to comment on his singing and the fact that I could not understand one word.  Something about getting wisdom from the bible. Let's just say some people in the world cannot even remotely carry a tune. Later, Gary still insists on aiming the camera right up his two car garage of a nose.

[clese]

 Gary is so incredibly weird.  Sometimes I find it entertaining  

Sometimes I cannot handle it.

Was that his house? Is there a Leopard over the chair?

I thought the camera was moving up and now from where he was holding it on his belly.

He wrote on facebook that once saved you can't get unsaved..

So does that mean you can get away with anything.?

[Dandruff]

3 minutes ago, clese said:

So does that mean you can get away with anything.?

He certainly seems to be trying.

[clese]

[zeebaneighba]

21 hours ago, Shoobydoo said:

Not really Bro. Gary related, but you did make me remember that I actually spelled my name wrong on my first ever ID. You have to sign your name on Military IDs (or at least you did then), so between the ages of 10 and 14 there was a letter missing. Think "Amnda" instead of "Amanda".    While I remember this happening, I don't remember if I was upset about it.... These days my signature is just an insane scrawl anyway, so maybe 10 year old me was just prescient.

No, all the letters were there, they were just in the wrong order.  More like Amnada.

I was going to be nice and not tell on you. ?

[Seahorse Wrangler]

22 hours ago, Shoobydoo said:

These days my signature is just an insane scrawl anyway, so maybe 10 year old me was just prescient.

A couple of years ago, I got a phone call from Sea Colt's school asking whether I signed his homework or not. I said I hadn't because he had never given me anything to sign.

I was told they had had their doubts because they could read the signature.

[Spinosaurus]

22 hours ago, Beermeet said:

 What a wimpy ween. 

just got to say that this sentence is

  

just had to say that

[Briefly]

2 hours ago, Seahorse Wrangler said:

A couple of years ago, I got a phone call from Sea Colt's school asking whether I signed his homework or not. I said I hadn't because he had never given me anything to sign.

I was told they had had their doubts because they could read the signature.

That is actually how the bank knew that an ex-employee of ours had stolen and forged a couple of our business checks, because the signature was legible!  This was our company in Texas and it's been many years.

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

OK Folks this looks like

what the good Bro was asking for prayers is for!Sorry but darn spoilers are giving me trouble!

Please pray for my phone I think it has become demon possessed!!

[FullOfGravy]

A couple of weeks of Bro Gary's preaching and Becky's weens 'n' gravy would certainly get me praying.  Praying for death, but, you know, praying is praying.

 

 

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

OK Folks the good Bro has released another bad video, you can see right up his nose in this one.  He mentioned he almost has the money for that bus engine because Jesus. However the main reason he’s blessing us with another fine video is to speak about Bible Preaching Camp HAYMAUN.  He’s seeking God’s will for this because ...Jesus...and also it’s going to take a lot of MONEY cause the camp is run down and hasn’t been used for 7 years (I guess it laid fallow like a field) hey that’s in the bible somewhere.

Anyhow there is labour to be done so needs people because Gary won’t, but money too because buildings need work! There’s that four letter word again eh Bro.  As an added bonus Becky will be doing the cooking! HOLLERUYAH cause Bec’s is a good cook.  Weens for all!

this needs to happen cause only Two other camps in the USA are any good so Bro will run the third only good pure King James Bible preaching real preaching real word of God camp HOLLERYUYAH HAYMAYUN!

We must all pray. And send money.

[PumaLover]

OK folks, so this is what "if there was a camping up in the maintains" means. Thanks. I was wondering about that. 

So he doesn't have the money to maintain  a bus or a camper but he can maintain a camp? OK.

[Spanger]

I love the little miniature plate of biscuits and gravy, and may be inspired to try my hand at a plate of mini weens n gravy, @thoughtful.  Thank you for sharing!

As far as the couple from the Hawkins church that looks like an alternate Bro and Becky- they just look WAY happier, kinder and more peaceful than the Hawkins’s.  Couldn’t say why, but they just do.

I can’t even put myself into the headspace these fundies live in, where they expect God’s Will to cover every single living expense plus whatever is needed for their ministry.  IDK.  Like, sure, Bro Gary is only ASKING money for a new engine right now, but knowing he has no job, where does food to eat come from?  How about the roof over their head?  It’s possible these items are grifted/donated separately, but I tend to imagine if $40 was donated to the Hawkins family, $20 is probably spent on KFC and $20 is allocated to engine repair.  Which is fine if the donor considers their donation to be “all-purpose” for whatever the Hawkins family wants to spend it on, but disingenuous when they try to make it sound like every spare penny is being scrounged up for an engine.

Id have a much easier time giving $$ to a person working a job, ostensibly covering their own living expenses, and asking for donations so they can do a “calling” thats above and beyond what they can afford on their own.  Like, if my co-worker made a post about feeling called to knit hats and mittens for homeless people, and was asking for yarn and gas money to go hand them out- I’d believe that if I gave that person $20, they might reasonably spend all $20 on their “mission.”  

If my (hypothetical) cousin that’s been jobless for 8 months asks the same, I’m wondering how much of my donation actually goes to the mission, and how much is spent on shit my cousin wants and can’t pay for.  I’d much rather see my (hypothetical) cousin say, “it’s been a rough 8 months for us, can anyone spare a few $ to help us celebrate our anniversary?”  And then I can decide that, yeah sure, I can spare $10 for cousin Billy’s anniversary.  I’d rather do that than donate $20 to Cousin Billy’s “ministry” and then find out later he spent $5 of my “ministry” donation towards celebrating his anniversary.

I think it might be something about his statement of “not wanting to be a burden” on the small congregations they visit that’s really rubbing me the wrong way.  Like, if you don’t want to be a burden, then get a fucking job.  Somewhere out there, there’s a Taco Bell or Chick-fil-A that needs a dishwasher.  Maybe it’s not a dream job, but if it pays the bills and relieves you from being a “burden” who cares?

[Alisamer]

Wait, what? He's wanting to start his own Camp Meeting now?

Has he been banned from the existing ones? 

(I've been to one "campground" in NC - it's not a campground, it's a bunch of mostly-conjoined shack-like cabins people stay at while going to the preaching on the grounds. It reminded me of the tents at the trip-wizard tournament as from the outside it looks like a shantytown, but the insides are decently nice. Kind of like a state fair you live at for a couple weeks but with no rides and extra preaching.)

[keepercjr]

I only got to watch part of the video (will try to watch the rest today) but he mentioned only a week long camp in September.  What the hell will he do with the campground for the rest of the year?  I don’t get it.  Thinking about Gary doing any physical work makes me lol.  And does Becky realize what it takes to cook for a huge group of people?

Also this hurts my brain

 

[Four is Enough]

1 hour ago, keepercjr said:

Also this hurts my brain

 

I HAD to look. I just HAD to look.... my eyes!

[Carol]

1 hour ago, keepercjr said:

My brain exploded trying to read these posts.  Seriously, it's on the floor in pieces.  I will need surgery so send money ASAP.  And PRAY.  For me.  I is saved but still need money for my beautiful bride, Becky.  The rapture is coming. soon.

[thoughtful]

Ah, the maintains. The view from the maintains is so lovely, and maintain climbing is always fun. I think I am moved to song:

OK folks, North Carolina,
Blue Ridge Maintains, weens and deep-fried liver.
Gary’s dull there, dumber than the trees
Denser than the maintains, probably has fleas.

Broken bus, keep him home
In the place he belongs
His recliner, maintain mama,
Keep him home, broken bus.

 

 

[PumaLover]

OK @thoughtful, you win the internets for today! That's one of my favorite songs and I'll never listen to it the same way again!

[missy1228]

1 hour ago, thoughtful said:

Ah, the maintains. The view from the maintains is so lovely, and maintain climbing is always fun. I think I am moved to song:

OK folks, North Carolina,
Blue Ridge Maintains, weens and deep-fried liver.
Gary’s dull there, dumber than the trees
Denser than the maintains, probably has fleas.

Broken bus, keep him home
In the place he belongs
His recliner, maintain mama,
Keep him home, broken bus.

 

 

I am offended on behalf of John Denver! ?

[MayMay1123]

@thoughtful

[zeppelincommander]

Just throwing this out there, but anyone think Gary and Becky's allergy to work has to do with unpaid child support?  Maybe Gary won't 'let' Becky work because XX chromosomes, but all the grifting and under-the-table work is giving me serious Naughler vibes.  Especially if any of the money was going to 'support a homosexual lifestyle' (ie Becky's kids that her ex and his husband took in and are raising).

[keepercjr]

4 hours ago, zeppelincommander said:

Just throwing this out there, but anyone think Gary and Becky's allergy to work has to do with unpaid child support?  Maybe Gary won't 'let' Becky work because XX chromosomes, but all the grifting and under-the-table work is giving me serious Naughler vibes.  Especially if any of the money was going to 'support a homosexual lifestyle' (ie Becky's kids that her ex and his husband took in and are raising).

I have speculated that.  They were raking in a lot of child support for a while when they had custody of her kids.  But now they probably owe her ex.  Or will if they get jobs.  I think their only source of income is child support for his 2 boys that will be down to 1 minor boy soon as the older one is 17.  How they get by absolutely baffles me.  I am pretty sure they use government assistance as they have had quite a few medical bills in the past but never asked for help in that area.  So maybe they get SNAP and welfare too.

[Dandruff]

Quote

What would HE fine people doing if. HE came.

He would find many people working.  He would also find Gary.

[thoughtful]

Climb every maintain
Search high and low
Follow every byway
Every path you know

Climb every maintain
Keep your eyes keen
Search throughout the kitchen
'Til you find your ween.

A ween that will be
Made of pork, in a link,
Full of dye that will turn
All the gravy bright pink!

Climb every maintain
Keep your eyes keen
Search throughout the kitchen
'Til you find your ween!