Bro Gary Hawkins 9: He still makes my dinner come back up

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

OK Folks Bro Gary has lost a Facebook friend due to his bad preaching!  Gary is such a know nothing ass.

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[Don'tlikekoolaid]

OK Folks, posting this here cause this used to really fry my cookies when I was in the fundy circle. I saw this happen time and time again where some asshat would decide someone was the wrong flavour (in their f’ing opinion) and decide they weren’t saved right.  I saw people really damaged by this crappolla.  Screw you Gary, I laugh at you but really I hate your guts and your friends suck too!!!!!!

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[Seahorse Wrangler]

That one of the WBC Phelps?

[Walking Cat Bed]

Who is Bro Gary Crisp? Bro Gary after a day outside?

[Alisamer]

I think if you put Gary and all his followers together they might have the intellect of a particularly stupid snail. They're sucking IQ points out of the rest of the universe, with that intellectual vacuum. 

[Katzchen24]

One of his most recent efforts.

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This is really awful communication from someone who is trying to reach an audience. My issues with this are; 

a) Did the guy know he needed scripture? Open up the discussion and educate all of us poor heathens by discussing the post properly.

b) Why are you posting passive-aggressive complaints about being blocked for harassing someone else? Where's the scriptural basis for this?

c) What did you say to him to prompt him to block you? I'm assuming it's a post on your FB page, and there is nothing to be proud of in blocking someone who disagrees with you. If you're that hot a preacher then your other friends will see through what this guy has said.

One of the things that gets to me about the people we snark on are their incredibly limited tolerance for anyone who disagrees with them. BroHaw mentions his biblical obligation to be ready to give answers, but I'm guessing he exercises his tolerance very infrequently.

I'd LOVE to know who BroHaw thinks are false prophets.

 

Just a warning, I'm about to get a little crude.

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I've got a good idea what BroHaw is holding on to.

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Seriously, I would want at least a condom, and preferably a continent, between me and your version of the Lord. It's not one I recognise.

[MarblesMom]

Apparently, he was live earlier today, and I noped out after about 3 minutes.  Becky corrected him a few times, and only one male voice was agreeing with him.

The sermons I listen to at church are much more inspired and coherent.  This was just more G-Haw blathering.

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

OK Folks, Bro now thinks he’s speaking for Jesus and how dare you criticize the    Mouth of Gawd. Really Bro?  You’re never gonna learn anything with that attitude.

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[Coy Koi]

On 12/16/2018 at 6:48 PM, Texas Heifer said:

Ok folks, Gary's younger son realized he wasn't saved. 

Bro Gary, your son is a certifiable tree-hugger!

Also, when one tucks a shirt into cargo pants, it makes Baby Jesus's colic flair up like you wouldn't believe. (I'm not making fun of the kid! He'd know this if he was allowed to interact with society normally.)

On 12/17/2018 at 2:26 PM, Texas Heifer said:

I wasn't raised all that religiously, due to a non-churchgoing father, and a mother who switched churches twice, then gave up taking us to church entirely after my grandmother passed from Alzheimer's. I'm pretty certain I never really believed...I never felt what I think of as 'The Thing' so many believers feel; you know, 'Christ's Love' and like he's in the room with you, blah blah. It was all nothing but frustrating empty space or raw, primal fear for me--an anxious, introverted child with ADHD and depression. I tried for 30+ years to feel 'The Thing ' and never did.

I was raised with religion, but just kind of arbitrarily when my mom felt like it. Like, it's well-established that if you ask people how often they attend church and then compare those numbers with the actual rate of church-attendance, people WILDLY overestimate their own attendance. My mom is like that. I went to Catholic school for 7 years but never particularly felt it either, so I guess I tend to (sometimes incorrectly) assume that most other kids are just going with the flow and don't really feel it either (example: I just assumed the Duggars were lying about a teenage Josh Duggar spontaneously confessing his sex offenses to them without first being caught, until I found others here explaining that it may well have happened the way they claimed it did. Even though he's obviously done so much to go against how he was raised, that doesn't NECESSARILY mean he doesn't believe it).

[Flossie]

2 hours ago, Coy Koi said:

Also, when one tucks a shirt into cargo pants, it makes Baby Jesus's colic flair up like you wouldn't believe. (I'm not making fun of the kid! He'd know this if he was allowed to interact with society normally.)

I thought I was a member of normal society, but I don't know why one shouldn't tuck a shirt into cargo pants.  It's a dress shirt, with a collar and cuffs.  Isn't it intended to be tucked in?

[Koala]

Doesn't Gary's wife have other children?  Will she be seeing them for Christmas, or will they be grifting their way across the country during the holidays?

[Spinosaurus]

I expect they'll be with their (surprisingly normal divorced) dad.  I do hope she gets to see them.  As long as she doesn't spend the whole time badmouthing their dad for being gay.

[keepercjr]

Becky does visit her kids.  It isn't talked about on his facebook, which is a good thing but I am also sure it doesn't look good to his audience that his wife doesn't have custody of her own kids. 

I am also not convinced that Gary is allowed to be around them at all.  The pictures I have seen of their visits (from FB pages belonging to some of the kids) there is no Gary to be seen, only Becky). 

[Coy Koi]

8 hours ago, Flossie said:

I thought I was a member of normal society, but I don't know why one shouldn't tuck a shirt into cargo pants.  It's a dress shirt, with a collar and cuffs.  Isn't it intended to be tucked in?

Yes, the shirt is intended to be tucked in, but not into cargo pants, which are inherently casual. That shirt and those pants just shouldn't be worn together at all. (I probably sound way more invested in what clothes anyone wears than I actually am. I usually don't really care. I personally own Crocs, so obviously I'm no fashionista.)

A lot of fundies are just so weird about tucked-in shirts. I once saw a Rod boy with a sweatshirt tucked into his jeans.

[keepercjr]

More weeny gravy!  Though he originally spelled it “weedy” gravy.

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[pamplemousse]

4 minutes ago, keepercjr said:

More weeny gravy!  Though he originally spelled it “weedy” gravy.

 

Aaaand I just lost my appetite. What animal vomited up THAT mess?  And I am not talking about the biscuits.

[Briefly]

Biscuits, ween gravy & Dr. Pepper!  Sounds like a nice, healthy, appetizing meal!    Not that I have any interest in sampling it.  I really don't care what people eat, but I just don't think ween gravy could be tasty in any stretch of the imagination.  Also, is it possible that he is now trolling us, given our "fascination" with ween gravy?

[Dandruff]

48 minutes ago, pamplemousse said:

What animal vomited up THAT mess?

My first thought, exactly.  I'd love to know what those two women sitting at the table were thinking.

[thoughtful]

I have the computer and the TV on at the same time. I had just gotten to @keepercjr's post with this:

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As the Gold Bond ad with the woman talking about her "rough and bumpy skin" came on.

Ah, serendipity.

[Katzchen24]

6 hours ago, keepercjr said:

There are no words. Surely this isn't a real thing? I can just imagine the reaction if I served anything the colour or texture of whatever that is in the saucepan. ?

Because it's so hot here in Australia, Christmas dinner at my house tonight will be a cold collation - ham, salads, dips, crusty bread, stuffed peppers, dolmades. Just, no. 

[Dandruff]

25 minutes ago, Katzchen24 said:

There are no words. Surely this isn't a real thing? I can just imagine the reaction if I served anything the colour or texture of whatever that is in the saucepan. ?

Biscuits, butter, jam, and a huge pot of sick rhinocerus puke.  Yummy.  Hope those ladies brought their appetites.

[FullOfGravy]

If you told me that pan was some sort of strawberry and cream dessert - maybe homemade ice cream that hadn't been frozen yet - I'd believe you, and would say it looked good.

Turns out a dish that would look tasty if it were strawberries and cream looks revolting when you know it's meat (well, alleged meat) and gravy.

 

[Katzchen24]

On 12/20/2018 at 11:42 AM, Seahorse Wrangler said:

That one of the WBC Phelps?

I found a family tree for THAT Phelps family on Reddit, dated 2012. 

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https:BREAK//external-preview.redd.it/m2KLZf5DM2Uz_ILfz_hF__dckQEPhG9Q3VQ-V0-bXZo.jpg?auto=webp&s=1d7b393466809497757dc303a4cec19ab329bcae

She doesn't appear on there, but this just means she doesn't appear on there. 

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

OK Folks it looks like Santa brought the boy a new KJV Bible.  HAYMAYUN

Bro Gary’s foot is centre stage and badly needs a pedicure.  Ewwww

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[Starrynight]

On 12/22/2018 at 1:23 AM, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

OK Folks, Bro now thinks he’s speaking for Jesus and how dare you criticize the    Mouth of Gawd. Really Bro?  You’re never gonna learn anything with that attitude.

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Thanks for the laugh-

First of all God better be too busy to be fooling around on FB. ?

But now I’m picturing God grumbling while he types furiously on FB and then reacting to all of the angry response faces floating across his screen.  Too funny ?  

Brother Gary gets his feelings hurt pretty easily it seems...