Bro Gary Hawkins 9: He still makes my dinner come back up

[HumbleJillyMuffin]

4 hours ago, Dandruff said:

Biscuits, butter, jam, and a huge pot of sick rhinocerus puke.  Yummy.  Hope those ladies brought their appetites.

Well at least one of them didn't bring her bra...

[Dandruff]

10 hours ago, HumbleJillyMuffin said:

Well at least one of them didn't bring her bra...

I dunno...something's peeking out that looks like it could be a bra strap, but...

[MayMay1123]

1 hour ago, Dandruff said:

I dunno...something's peeking out that looks like it could be a bra strap, but...

She is wearing something under her shirt, but when your boobs are fitting under the table you're sitting at, you probably aren't getting any support. Weedy gravy...i think if one was very very stoned on the type of weedy that makes one ohmahgawd starving, maybe...just maybe, you might eat weeny gravy if there was nothing else within a couple of miles and you had spent all your money on the weed...but probably not. And ew, ghaw, get your nasty feet out of pics and videos before you post.

[thoughtful]

23 hours ago, keepercjr said:

Though he originally spelled it “weedy” gravy.

Well, if it had weed in it, that might explain a lot about Gary's inability to focus and speak or write coherently.  

But I suspect he comes by that condition without the aid of any substance.

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

OK Folks Bro gone done another video.  They’re at the beach, the trip to the beach was Becky’s present.  OK by me, the beach is a wonderful gift.  Anyhow Bro tells us eleven billionty times they’re at the beach!  The lady who needs a good bra was with them and she still needs that bra.  The shocking part is she’s wearing a pair of pink and purple yoga pants and whoa are they tight!  So defrauding (they actually look ok on her). Oh and happy birthday even though it’s not your birthday to Jesus.

Sister Koolaid will be happy when the holidays are over.  HAYMAYUN!!!

[Beermeet]

How horrible would it be if any of us were at the beach taking a nice Christmas stroll and HAYMAYN! Fuckin' Bro. Gary.  I would watch from afar, maybe do a walk by.  There would go my lovely stroll on the beach!  It would immediately turn into Ween Watch 2018.  Halleylluer!  Shit, idk if we could pull it off. My husband and kids know about him. Oh dear. We'd be rolling in the sand laughing in no time.  Uncontrollably.  ?

[Mar]

Ok folks, did you go into debt because your presents was made with each other money? And did you know that Santa not real? 

His spelling/leaving out words and letters/ punctuation is especially bad in this post. He probably had too much pink weeny gravy. 

[catlady]

17 hours ago, Beermeet said:

 Ween Watch 2018.  ?

For some reason, I found this phrase SEVERELY funny. 

and is “each other money” different than regular money?  

[keepercjr]

2 hours ago, Mar said:

Ok folks, did you go into debt because your presents was made with each other money? And did you know that Santa not real? 

His spelling/leaving out words and letters/ punctuation is especially bad in this post. He probably had too much pink weeny gravy. 

And yet people see this writing and think “we need to have him come preach at our church!”

[thoughtful]

I have lots of work I should be doing, but I feel compelled to re-write some familiar texts in Weenese. I think I'll start with the Declaration of Independence:
 

Spoiler

 

OK, folks  - when in Curse of humane things it become nesesary for one peoples to melts the politics band which have connect them with other an assume the seperated and equals statiun  the Laws of GOD entit them,  opinions of mankind (not that those mattr – only opinion of GOD and JESUS!) say they should tell why.

We hold these truth slef-evident, all men are creted eekwal, they are ndowed by they’re Creater with curtain unalien Rites - Life, Liburty and the Hirsute of Happyness.

 

Hmmmm . . . perhaps Shakespeare next . . .

[Alisamer]

Wait, he actually TYPED "haymen"?

I mean, I know he SAYS it that way, but to type it...

Gary. Are you reading here? Spellcheck. Autocorrect. These are things to learn about.

Also, I'm glad Facebook tries to limit itself to ages 13+, because we've got both Bro Gary and the president doing their best to ruin Santa Claus for kids now. I'd suggest they read that "Yes, Virginia" letter except I'm not convinced either would actually comprehend what it says.

[thoughtful]

Gary meets the Bard of Avon:

Spoiler

OK, folks - to be, or not, that is question:

Weather 'its noblar in the mine to suffor

The sling an arrow of our tray just forechin,

Ore to take arm aginst a see of tribbles

And by opposum end them.

JESUS! HAYMAYUN!

 

[Mar]

1 hour ago, Alisamer said:

Wait, he actually TYPED "haymen"?

I mean, I know he SAYS it that way, but to type it...

Gary. Are you reading here? Spellcheck. Autocorrect. These are things to learn about.

Also, I'm glad Facebook tries to limit itself to ages 13+, because we've got both Bro Gary and the president doing their best to ruin Santa Claus for kids now. I'd suggest they read that "Yes, Virginia" letter except I'm not convinced either would actually comprehend what it says.

I‘m pretty sure that some (a lot) of the words he writes are spelled SO wrong, that not even spellcheck or autocorrect could possibly recognize them. ?‍♀️?

[Dandruff]

3 hours ago, Alisamer said:

Wait, he actually TYPED "haymen"?

I mean, I know he SAYS it that way, but to type it...

He probably read it here and now thinks that's the right way to spell it.

[thoughtful]

15 hours ago, Alisamer said:

Wait, he actually TYPED "haymen"?

Well, most of Gary's debate points are strawmen.

I'll be here all week. Be sure to tip your waiter.

[Four is Enough]

Oh, @thoughtful, STOP!! It's tooo painful~~ ☠️

Based on the way I've heard him speak, I've long thought that Bro Gary might dictate his "homey little sayings" into his phone. I know Mr. Four's Baltimore accent throws off his smartphone. He has a difficult time sometimes making it understand what he's saying, and he's a LOT more coherent and grammatically spoken than Bro Gary.

 

[AuntKrazy]

20 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Gary meets the Bard of Avon:

  Hide contents

aginst a see of tribbles

 

 

Am I the only one who pictured furry little tribbles wreaking havok on the truck engine and eventually attacking Gary within the camper? (the trouble with tribbles!)

[thoughtful]

4 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

Oh, @thoughtful, STOP!! It's tooo painful~~ ☠️

I put them under spoilers for a reason!

3 hours ago, AuntKrazy said:

Am I the only one who pictured furry little tribbles wreaking havok on the truck engine and eventually attacking Gary within the camper?

I hadn't thought through the whole scenario, but I was definitely thinking of those warbling little fuzzballs when I wrote it!

 

[PumaLover]

On 12/24/2018 at 8:41 PM, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

OK Folks it looks like Santa brought the boy a new KJV Bible.  HAYMAYUN

Bro Gary’s foot is centre stage and badly needs a pedicure.  Ewwww

  Hide contents

 

OK folks, is that a dog or a pot belly pig getting into the bed on the floor!? I keep looking at it and seeing a pig, LOL.

And I had to laugh at the "hayman!" I think he's trolling us. Hi, Bro Gary!

[MayMay1123]

29 minutes ago, PumaLover said:

OK folks, is that a dog or a pot belly pig getting into the bed on the floor!? I keep looking at it and seeing a pig, LOL.

And I had to laugh at the "hayman!" I think he's trolling us. Hi, Bro Gary!

Oh gawd, I just had to go look closer... there's all kinds of crap all over the floor and a stuffed leopard on the back of the couch wearing ghaw's hat... and the foot is even more vomit inducing in close up... why did I do that? Why? 

[griffin]

That's a morbidly obese dog that can hardly walk. It was in an earlier video too. Sad. 

It's the Dec 17 video. Right in the very opening seconds. 

[PumaLover]

Thanks @griffin, definitely a dog. Poor thing!

I can't keep all the fundies straight. Where are they staying now? Is this with his family? Also I hadn't noticed that the leopard was wearing his hat. That made me laugh. In fairness I have a large stuffed puma on my couch. No preachin' hat on it, though.

[keepercjr]

                 

1 hour ago, PumaLover said:

Thanks @griffin, definitely a dog. Poor thing!

I can't keep all the fundies straight. Where are they staying now? Is this with his family? Also I hadn't noticed that the leopard was wearing his hat. That made me laugh. In fairness I have a large stuffed puma on my couch. No preachin' hat on it, though.

I believe they were staying in the home (maybe house sitting?) of the pastor of the church where Gary was "preaching".  I think the pastor was out till the 1st of the year according to the church fb page (vacation?).

i hope they clean up after thmselves when they leave.  My house is no picture of perfection but I don’t make messes at other people’s houses.

Spoiler

Before they had a chance to make a mess (at the beginning of their stay) and an Xmas eve photo

 

[Koala]

That is ridiculous, and the thought of him making such a mess, and propping his nasty feet up on my furniture makes me   I am a neat freak (no questions asked), and also a creature of habit.  I get uneasy if I'm not in my specific spot at the dinner table.  The idea of random strangers up and moving into my house...well, it just doesn't bear thinking.

Seriously, where do these people reside?  Do they have a home, or do they just float from place to place?  How on earth are they able to support and educate 2 growing children?!  Dear god, it's absurd.

And that video!  If he said, "we're at the beach..." one more time, I think I'd have lost my mind.  Good lord man, look in front of you.  Of course it's the beach.  Any fool can see that.

[thoughtful]

Robbie Burns, anyone?

Spoiler

OK, folks, my Luv is like a red, red ween

   That makes the gravy pink.

O my Luv is like the biskits, too

   My luv, she dusnt’ stink.

 

So fare you are, my bunny lass,

   So deep in luv am I;

And I will luv you still, my deer,

   Till all the gravies’ dry.