Lori Alexander 57: The Wisdom and the Folly

[SongRed7]

14 hours ago, lilwriter85 said:

I've wondered quite a bit, if her blog has fucked up some of Ken's relationships with his clients. Ken has also written some pretty fucked up things too especially about working women. I keep hoping one of his female orthodontist clients or women who work for his clients  go public with their contact with Ken.

I wonder, too. Afterall there are lots of pictures online of Ken with the office staff at a lot of different offices where he has consulted.  It seems like 98% of the staff are women (which is true in most dental/orthodonic practices). And his son in NY has a female partner.   How does that all wash out?  when Lori was a little more obscure, they could keep quiet about it. But since her brand of crazy has gone "viral" several times as Lori likes to remind us at ALL THE TIME, I'm sure there are some folks who know.  

Heck, even if people they know casually know that she wrote a book...all it would take is for one to find it on Amazon and they would be exposed to the darker side of Lori-world.  It's all in plain sight. 

[Loveday]

13 hours ago, fluffy said:

I thought this too until election time ramped up. Then she can't post enough about how "Democrats are evil," and I quote. She has no basic understanding that people are not "evil" if they simply disagree with her. She will whip herself into a frenzy arguing that women are too emotional for politics. lol 

She is still lamenting what poor ole Kavanaugh went through. I've never seen a more political animal who simultaneously protests that women should not vote and we should not worry about current events because "this world is not our home." Within the same post, she argue Christians should not worry about politics and then lambast Democrats. She understand the world very simply: Her side is godly and those who disagree are evil and in the grip of Satan. That is the kind of simpleton language she uses.

She went to town on the refugees recently. She is much more concerned that we obey the laws of the land than act as Christ would toward the hungry, poor and disenfranchised. She had a meltdown when younger women disagreed with her and posted scripture to illustrate why they thought we should be merciful to refugees. 

Overall, I saw just how political and angry she is. It won't surprise anyone that she shows no grace to other opinions, no matter how thoughtfully articulated.

Oh, I totally agree about her political posts. And I'm sure she's far worse in her chat room posts. I was only referring to things like wildfires and hurricanes, or mass shootings just a couple of hours up the road from where she lives, that sort of thing. She doesn't even mention church or synagogue shootings, never spares so much as a 'thought' or 'prayer' for the victims. It's as if these things don't even exist in Lori's world. Of course, she does say she never watches the news, but considering all the political crap she spews forth, I'm pretty sure she's lying about that.

[SongRed7]

12 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

Maybe Lori's idea of the world is skewed because of where she lives?

I think this is somewhat true.   Nothing wrong with having nice things, etc.  But I also don't think it's the norm across the board/country especially among Lori's followers....even though she probably thinks they are just like her or she's terrible tone-deaf when it comes to understanding other people's situations (which we know is true).

Even Alyssa (who works part-time at a ballet studio, has her new gig as a "nutritional" consultant, and whatever sponsorships she has) can't be making a ton of money.  But she always is shown wearing a lots of different cute outfits and seems to have an extensive wardrobe (that  doesn't look like it was purchased at Walmart or even JC Penney or Sears -- nothing wrong with those stores...I shop at those stores).

My one REALLY nice thing is a power blue Michael Kors bag that I won a school fundraiser event. 

[Petronella]

On 11 November 2018 at 3:56 PM, louisa05 said:

The mom in this case is a helicopter parent who can't let go.

Wow, these tales of enmeshed families really are something. And, yes, this is very unhealthy parenting. You know what I appreciate most about these stories? The *proper* use of the term "helicopter parenting". I hate when people haul that phrase out to describe any parents who are even remotely involved in their children's lives. Parents *should* be involved. But not like this! Yikes!

[Alisamer]

Lori doesn't care about other people. She doesn't say anything about natural disasters or tragedies, not even "thoughts and prayers". (With the exception of telling us how she had to call her son-in-law to tell her how to evacuate when a fire was threatening, because she's too stupid to throw stuff in a bag and drive AWAY from the smoke.) She never, ever shares the actual gospel. She hardly ever even mentions Jesus, and she never mentions being saved. She enjoys other peoples' suffering. I seriously believe she has some sort of personality disorder. At least she's chosen to hurt people at a distance via the internet, rather than physically like she did with her children and Ken and her cat.

I'm kind of glad she decided to be "submissive" with Ken. She's actually not, but at least he could use that as a way to try to curb some of her worst offenses.

[SongRed7]

25 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

She never, ever shares the actual gospel. She hardly ever even mentions Jesus, and she never mentions being saved.

I was wondering that too.  She frequently mentions growing up in a  Christian family and going to church, but she never talks about actually coming to terms with her beliefs.  It's like she's a Christian by default.   Of course, a person's belief is between them and God, but I thought it funny she never mentions it.   This is what she wrote about her testimony on old blog posts titled, My Boring Testimony.

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2014/01/my-very-boring-testimony.html

 

If you look at the comments under this blog post, a reader questioned her about it...saying just because your parents are Christians, that doesn't make you one by default. She never directly answers, but Ken comes charging in answering for her, saying she was too young to remember. 

 

 

[AuntKrazy]

13 hours ago, Coconut Flan said:

 My daughter's MIL ordered one of those playhouses that you see the stars have in the backyards for granddaughter.  She forgot their backyards are quite a bit larger than average.  We don't consider her quite normal though.  Anyone have any ideas what to do with a playhouse that has to be constructed and will take up half of the level land in the backyard?  We've considered a bonfire, giving it away, having it "stolen," and putting it in her yard.  

Could it be donated to the granddaughter's school? (if she goes to school).

[ladyicantxplain]

Lori did not grow up in Christianity; she grew up in Churchianity.  

Now I will not judge her eternal soul. That is not my job. But I will look at the fruit, because a tree is known by its fruit.

People can make pretty little lives on the outside,  and live them, thinking all the while that the pretty life is Christianity, based upon the idea that "We did everything God's way and look how BLESSED we are!"  People can think because they followed a bunch of rules and created uber-obedient children that "walk in the truth", that this is Christianity.

It's not.

It is religion.

We do not know what the Alexanders do privately: do they give to the orphan and the widow?  Who knows.  I do know that Lori vehemently denies that she is even TO DO the very basics of Christianity and the Great Commission. (She has regularly argued that Mark 16, among other commands of our LORD, is NOT for people today).

My mother and father were card-carrying members of the First United Methodist Church in their small town when they adopted me. My mother was a Sunday School teacher. My father, a successful college graduate in a white-collar field, respected by his peers.  Their external life was "pretty" and the adoption application and all the letters of support were lovely.  But behind closed doors, our lives were hell on earth: every kind of abuse you could imagine was present. Some people still do not believe me when I tell them. 

This is what religion does.

It is death.

I want to see Lori and Ken start to preach LIFE.  Because thus far I am not impressed with their message. It has lacked LIFE giving truth and has fallen flat as religious.

 

 

[Coconut Flan]

8 minutes ago, AuntKrazy said:

Could it be donated to the granddaughter's school? (if she goes to school).

That's a good idea, but they don't have room for it either.  

[Alisamer]

23 minutes ago, SongRed7 said:

If you look at the comments under this blog post, a reader questioned her about it...saying just because your parents are Christians, that doesn't make you one by default. She never directly answers, but Ken comes charging in answering for her, saying she was too young to remember. 

Ummm... maybe this is the Baptist coming out in me, but IMO if you are too young to remember, you are too young to make that decision! So, if she's never actually accepted Jesus, she's not saved, and not Christian.

Which explains a lot about how twisted and awful she is.

[EowynW]

49 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

Ummm... maybe this is the Baptist coming out in me, but IMO if you are too young to remember, you are too young to make that decision! So, if she's never actually accepted Jesus, she's not saved, and not Christian.

Which explains a lot about how twisted and awful she is.

Eh... Baptists (I'm a 3 generation baptist PK married to a 3rd generation baptist PK) are REALLY BAD about making a big deal about conversion stories and insisting it has to be boiled down into one big memorable clear defining moment of belief. This line of thought is harmful and needs to die. 

I actually kind of understand where Lori is coming from just this once. I was born in a Christian home, fundie, but still very sincere. Jesus, the Gospel & what He had done for us was woven into every fiber of my life. I grew up believing. I don't have a fancy testimony or one huge defining moment of a conversion story either. Yet my faith is alive and well. If you talk to other believers raised in Christian home you will find a similar story. Now as I got older, my faith evolved, I left fundiedom  and I worked through doubts and started viewing everything through discerning eyes, but it's still there. Still no big "oh I walked down the aisle sobbing and gave my heart to Jesus moment." I have a deeper richer faith that grew as I did.

[ladyicantxplain]

I'm not sure about all this "testimony" talk.  This is good conversation and it is really making me think, because I did NOT accept Christ until I was in my mid thirties.  It was very dramatic; Saul-to-Paul kind of thing, really.  No one who knew me before can believe my life now. Those who know me now cannot imagine the person I once was.  They are always shocked when I get out the pictures and start telling the stories!

That being said, I think conversion can (and certainly ought be) a very quiet thing in one's early youth, if one's parents are already in covenant with God (see Acts 2:39).   I think of my own children: they believe and are vocal about their faith, and have prayer lives that regularly stun me, because it's clear that the Spirit of God DOES abide in them at their young ages.  They know things that they could only know by the Spirit. Things that I have not told them; things of the Bible, and of the Kingdom of Heaven.  I am so thankful to God.

However, even their testimonies of what Jesus Christ has DONE in their lives are not "boring".  They have seen in the Spirit. (John 3:3)  They have laid hands on the sick, and seen them recover. (Mark 16:18). They have preached the gospel. (Mark 16:15)  They have seen Jesus heal their baby sister of cancer. (1 Peter 2:24; James 5:14).  They have seen their brother blue and not breathing, and then pink and full of life after prayer.  They have seen others miraculously healed and restored.  They have seen Jesus turn hatred to love in  people's hearts, supernaturally.   THIS IS NOT BORING!  This is supposed to be normal Christianity, according to the Word of God.  Normal, but not boring.

I think I want to see the follow-up post that Lori said she would write (in the comments after her blog post about her boring testimony).  Because certainly it would not be boring, and it would be filled with stories of the supernatural power and love of God through Jesus Christ.  One can hope.

The definition of testimony in Rev. 12:11 is: witness, evidence, testimony, reputation.    So, what of Jesus Christ have we WITNESSED?  What EVIDENCE of Jesus Christ's living in us have we?  Our testimony is prophesy (speaking and forthtelling of what He has done in our lives - see Rev. 19:10).  Our reputation should show forth Christ's life in our lives.

 

[SongRed7]

58 minutes ago, EowynW said:

Still no big "oh I walked down the aisle sobbing and gave my heart to Jesus moment." I have a deeper richer faith that grew as I did.

I grew up fundie-lite and when I was a child, I believed if I didn't answer one of those "altar-calls" (with endless verses of "Just as I am" playing in the background with a visiting preacher saying over and over again...say yes today, folks. If you don't it could be too late. Step out and come to Jesus at the altar.  ) I was always terrified to go and terrified not to go.  One time I mustered the courage to go (I was in 5th or 6th grade) because a lot of other kids my age went.    Looking back now, I already had faith in Jesus and that WASN'T required for salvation.  In my heart I already had real belief (although I was in no way a mature Christian) but that's the kind of spiritual abuse that went on. 

Again, I won't judge Lori on this as its between her and God. I only pointed it out, because Lori doesn't really talk the Gospel or Salvation at all, mostly just rules and regulations as if those are only what is required and what is most important. 

 

[AuntKrazy]

I think of my spiritual life as evolving with sort of "punctuated equilibrium" events along the way.  I hope I'm a little bit more like Jesus today than I was yesterday, and there have been identifiable events where I have been changed and transformed; but asking me for a single time when it all began is like asking me to reduce my love for my husband to a single one time moment.  I loved Mr. K before I married him.  I love him in a deeper more connected way now.  I'm not entirely sure of the mechanics of it; and to be honest, I don't really think it matters.  What matters is the relationship I cultivate in the now.

 

 

[Alisamer]

33 minutes ago, ladyicantxplain said:

That being said, I think conversion can (and certainly ought be) a very quiet thing in one's early youth, if one's parents are already in covenant with God (see Acts 2:39).   I think of my own children: they believe and are vocal about their faith, and have prayer lives that regularly stun me, because it's clear that the Spirit of God DOES abide in them at their young ages.  They know things that they could only know by the Spirit. Things that I have not told them; things of the Bible, and of the Kingdom of Heaven.  I am so thankful to God.

Oh, I agree. I didn't have a huge come-to-jesus moment either, though I did go up in front of the church as that's just how it's done in my church. My "testimony" is pretty boring too - grew up in the church, believing, and decided at age 8 or 9 I was ready to make it official and join the church because I understood the choice I was making. I don't expect everyone to have some major conversion. But I really don't think Lori is Christian. She may have grown up in the church, but she has shown over and over that she is not in any way Christian. No matter how much she quotes the Bible, she only quotes the rules she likes. I don't think she understands what being Christian is. She never does anything to serve those in need. She is blatantly flat out mean to her own daughters. She is focused entirely on herself, and can't be bothered to do any volunteering, tithe to the church she attends, or even sit by her mother's side as she was dying.

She sits on her ass and kisses up to MRAs, actively making her followers lives more difficult and painful, while proclaiming her rules as the only way to be "Godly".

[feministxtian]

21 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

But I really don't think Lori is Christian. She may have grown up in the church, but she has shown over and over that she is not in any way Christian. No matter how much she quotes the Bible, she only quotes the rules she likes. I don't think she understands what being Christian is. She never does anything to serve those in need. She is blatantly flat out mean to her own daughters. She is focused entirely on herself, and can't be bothered to do any volunteering, tithe to the church she attends, or even sit by her mother's side as she was dying.

By their fruit you will know them...and well, in this case, the fruit is pretty rotten. 

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

I think if you don’t have love and true compassion for every living thing you are like an empty noise.  Lori is empty noise and rotten fruit.  Truely a horrible human being who should just shut up.

Go away Lori and take that nasty little man thing you married with you.

[Lgirlrocks]

Going back to not sharing about the news TAM didn’t once mention the shootings either. Both women have one agenda and don’t seem to stray from it. Sharing about the news and sending prayers for the shootings at the synagogue as well as other things don’t pare well with their brand. Lori won’t go viral for sending a prayer and TAM can’t use it because it isn’t making her mamma bear come out. 

[klein_roeschen]

3 hours ago, Alisamer said:

Lori doesn't care about other people. She doesn't say anything about natural disasters or tragedies, not even "thoughts and prayers". (With the exception of telling us how she had to call her son-in-law to tell her how to evacuate when a fire was threatening, because she's too stupid to throw stuff in a bag and drive AWAY from the smoke.) She never, ever shares the actual gospel. She hardly ever even mentions Jesus, and she never mentions being saved. She enjoys other peoples' suffering. I seriously believe she has some sort of personality disorder. At least she's chosen to hurt people at a distance via the internet, rather than physically like she did with her children and Ken and her cat.

I'm kind of glad she decided to be "submissive" with Ken. She's actually not, but at least he could use that as a way to try to curb some of her worst offenses.

I think she choose to "preach" online out of a lack of offline victims and the far greater number of people she can reach online. Her children are grown up and married, her grandchildren aren't within the reach of her children and I think they don't have much offline contact with other people. If I would know her personally, I would avoid her like a radioactive plague. And in offline social settings, if someone disagreed with you, you can't delete it. But thanks to the internet, she could create a place where she is cheered for her hatefull views. Where she can delete everything and everyone what even slightly isn't in her favor. In her online life, she can exactly creating what she want's and without even leaving the house and meet with actual people.

[delphinium65]

22 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

Going back to not sharing about the news TAM didn’t once mention the shootings either. Both women have one agenda and don’t seem to stray from it. Sharing about the news and sending prayers for the shootings at the synagogue as well as other things don’t pare well with their brand. Lori won’t go viral for sending a prayer and TAM can’t use it because it isn’t making her mamma bear come out. 

My operating theory on what makes Lori tick has to do with relating to others.  I think most people find it difficult to truly care about people they can't relate to...if a tragedy involves a child close in age to ours we tend to feel it more, if a friend's parent dies, and we have suffered a similar loss, we sympathize more, a former immigrant will have greater concern for the plight of immigrants than others will, etc.  If we see ourselves in another person we probably will care more about him/her. Note I am NOT saying it is impossible to care about non-relatable people, it just doesn't come as naturally.  Lori's big problem, I think, is that she is unable/unwilling to relate to anyone.  The problems other people have don't touch her, because she is simply incapable of relating to those people. Since she's that way, she thinks everyone else is too, and she doesn't even see her own deficiency.  

[SongRed7]

4 minutes ago, delphinium65 said:

Lori's big problem, I think, is that she is unable/unwilling to relate to anyone.  The problems other people have don't touch her, because she is simply incapable of relating to those people.

I think you nailed it on the head.  And that is why she goes so hard on thinking women need to be taught to love their husbands and their kids. Because SHE didn't have that natural feelings of love.  Not to mention all of the other things she believes women need to be taught or unlearn (how to be unselfish, not to be contentious, not to plays games to get  your own way.) BECAUSE she was like this...she assumes everyone else is this way too.   There is no room for individual variation in life.  

She can't relate to anyone but herself either because she has some personality defect or simply refuses. 

[ladyicantxplain]

2 hours ago, delphinium65 said:

If we see ourselves in another person we probably will care more about him/her. Note I am NOT saying it is impossible to care about non-relatable people, it just doesn't come as naturally. 

Yes!  You have just described the ability of human beings to empathize, which is something that many of us have long noted as seemingly deficient in Lori/Ken's writings and comments online.  

Empathy is being able to understand the feelings of another; an ability to "put yourself in their shoes", if only for a moment, in order to advise from a place of understanding.

A synonym for empathy is COMPASSION (which means "to suffer with").

Jesus acted from compassion in everything He did for others:

When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.

— Matthew 14:13-14

Two blind men were sitting by the roadside, and when they heard that Jesus was going by, they shouted, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!” The crowd rebuked them and told them to be quiet, but they shouted all the louder, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!” Jesus stopped and called them. “What do you want me to do for you?” he asked. “Lord,” they answered, “we want our sight.” Jesus had compassion on them and touched their eyes. Immediately they received their sight and followed him.

— Matthew 20:30-34

When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So he began teaching them many things.

— Mark 6:34

We are admonished to be people of compassion as Jesus is:

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

— Colossians 3:12

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us all in our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

— 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.

— 1 Peter 3:8

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.

— Philippians 2:1-2

If indeed the Spirit of God resides in a person, they will NATURALLY be compassionate, because it is His nature to be compassionate.  While it may be more challenging to be compassionate in ALL situations, it will be the default response to another person's suffering.

The default response I've seen to others' suffering coming from Lori/Ken looks more like self-righteousness and fleshly judgement: "You must be suffering because you did...", or alternatively, "Suffering is good for you; God's will is that we rejoice in suffering..."

The response that JESUS had towards suffering is neither of these.  The response Jesus had was to COMPASSIONATELY REMOVE the suffering.

[Briefly]

21 hours ago, louisa05 said:

I buy some pretty expensive make up. So what? And I have an expensive bag. But I bought it with Christmas money and have had it for three years come January. I have an iPhone. Because I have to have an app to get work. No phone, no work. But the phone is three years old. And my plan costs $45 a month. If you're paying "hundreds", you have a bad plan or several phones on the plan--and probably some kids who don't need an expensive phone or possibly any phone at all.

But all of that said, I really don't want to hear about the cost of the stuff I work to buy from Lori who brags about stuff that costs 4 times what I pay for anything. I've never paid $75 for a skirt nor would I consider that price a bargain.  And, at the end of the day, I work to pay the utilities and buy the food. And I save up extra for stuff I want. Mr. 05 pays the house payment, insurance and car expenses and saves up extra for stuff he wants. She would never bitch about a man doing that. So she can shut it about women who do it. 

Right now, I'm the breadwinner.  Mr. Briefly's self-employed with our side business that became his job when he got laid off, it's not gotten to where we are seeing some light at the end of the tunnel.  But it's basically a full-time job for him.  

I wasn't quite finished but I think I hit the enter key, my computer screen glitched!  Anyway.  We are making it, the bills are paid and the roof is over our head.  But we are just like most people, we work for a living because we don't want to starve or live on the street.  We are not rich, although Lori would not understand it.  If we want something, we work and save for it.  My big weakness is good handbags and Fenton glass.  I have a few handbags, but like you, I saved for them.  That does not make it a sin or me a bad person!  Lori is so out of touch with what is reality for most people.  I think she would probably just implode if she were faced with what is real life for most of us.  Real life is not necessarily bad, I have always worked and I don't mind it.  Real life is probably a totally alien concept to her.

[ladyicantxplain]

Regarding the iPhone and expense conversation, my having an iPhone or not makes so little difference in my ability to live it is absurd.   I do not have cable TV. I have internet because I have to: we homeschool with distance learning, and I have an online church and ministry.  ALL of my family lives several hundred miles from here: I am literally CONNECTED to humanity through my phone, laptop and high-speed internet.

I cannot work, as my children require 24/7 care and it would cost over $25 per hour, per child to pay someone to do this so I could work somewhere.  I could not earn $25 per hour at this point in my life, since I have not worked in my field for over 25 years. I bought the fundie lifestyle hook, line and sinker.

Though I am extremely grateful to be home, the iPhone is hardly gonna' make it or break it for me to be able to be home.  It's an absolute miracle that I am at home with my kids.  I do not take it for granted. 

People have no idea what it takes, until they spend a night in my home with me and see.  Until someone does so, I take NOTHING they say about my expenses and choices and lifestyle seriously.  No skin in the game; no say in my life.

Lori should never judge how women are spending their money. It is rude.  No one knows the details of one's financial life until they see the details of one's home.

[feministxtian]

After our 3 years of hell, I've gone a little nuts here and there...and? I worked my ass off for those overtime checks...now that there's no more OT, there's no more "fun" spending either. I'm good with that. But...goddamn did I have a good time while it lasted...there'll be more OT and there'll be more fun spending. 

The savings is going to go towards some things I want, like hopping on a plane and visiting the kids in Denver every few months. Depending on what happens in January, I may be blowing serious cash for new furniture...

HOWEVER...if I ain't got the cash, I ain't buying it (well, except for my car)...

I'm willing to stake my next paycheck on this one: I bet most, if not all of us "attached" folk around here have better, more loving, more exciting, happier lives than Lori and Kenny-boy would dream of having...we don't need those "rules" to have a good relationship.