Lori Alexander 57: The Wisdom and the Folly

[ladyicantxplain]

3 hours ago, kmachete14 said:

I also took the term "get creative" to mean give them blowjobs every day for the 40 day interim after giving birth. I fail to see how unrequited blow jobs while being exhausted really counts as sex but you better do it or else your marriage will fail!!!! 

Slow your roll, sistah...the Alexanders do NOT encourage blowjobs or oral.  No, no, no.  Handjobs reign. Oral is sinful.  WTF, you say?  Where are all the screen shots of THESE conversations when I need them?   You will have to trust me that this is how she has advised wives in the past to be "creative"...

Either way, I don't wanna' be that wife and new mama who is either aching in the jaw or suffering from carpal tunnel at the same time I'm in postpartum recovery because my man can't take a sabbatical for my body to HEAL...

Sickening either way.

[Sarah92]

To be crude, if oral and such is forbidden and handjobs reign supreme on the sex but not sex holiness scale what difference does it make who's hand is it in the context of a couple? If the husband has a need why can't he use his own hand? Wouldn't it get the same result? If its intimacy he wants, the husband can get that by spending quality time with his wife and helping with the baby/kids. Yah know actually take on a role outside of workaholic and sex fiend who's only interaction with his wife is to seek release. 

[SuperNova]

Lori Alexander's handy guide to marital relations, or what to do when it's not 10 minutes and lube:

1. Never say no to your husband. And while we're on the subject, even if you say no it's not rape because your body belongs to him.

2. No oral sex. Only organic bread and butter goes in your mouth, ladies!

3. No anal. Lori talked with her dad and he said it's like playing in the sewer. Charming.

4. No masturbating, ladies. Your body is made for your husband's pleasure, not yours. Don't ring the devil's doorbell!

5. It's not ok for husbands to masturbate or watch porn but it's fine to ask your exhuasted wife to play with your weiner for you. 

6. Husbands don't need to worry about their wives pleasure. 

7. Remember to "drain" your husband every chance you get. Men have no self control and if you don't put out HE WILL CHEAT ON YOU!!

8. Always keep in mind that sex is a transactional exchange.

Did I miss anything?

 

[usmcmom]

Let's not forget that, while explaining why anal sex is wrong, Lori actually wrote  "It's the wrong hole."

Because Lori always tries to write in the most discreet, yet scientific, way possible. *sigh*

[PinkPrincess0213]

Only for the babies. Always. As many as you can have, without regard to finances, health or even the best interests of the children. Ignore the intimacy it brings to a healthy marriage or just the physical release that is sometimes needed.

Also, today's post makes me want to hit the roof. It's the lady in the streets/whore in the sheets complex that so many Christian men have as their ideal standard. And you had better hit that switch the SECOND the minister pronounces you married. Or else he'll inevitably cheat on you because he can't control himself.

I struggle with this dichotomy. They are wiser and more spiritual and supposed to be in charge, but no self-control around a mini-skirt? What mental gymnastics are required for this to work?!

[Sarah92]

I'm wondering where all the magic sex knowledge comes from. Most Christian homes I know of hardly breathe a word about sex let alone how to have a healthy sex life. Idk how they expect a wife to automatically know what to do. 

In the counseling realm, I've even had Christian counselors look shocked when I asked them if they asked a client about beliefs about sex/ sexual practices when they mention counseling couples struggling with their sex lives. It was like they didn't give it a thought to explore that background. Like if sex is painful maybe there's a reason? Maybe it's not just something medically wrong ?

[luv2laugh]

See guys, stuff that Lori is spewing right now is exactly why I had to take a long Lori sabbatical.  Making fun of the poor, the needy, and women in desperate conditions is the LOWEST of the low. Women will come to her begging for guidance on their desperate situations and Lori just spews out something like "submit and stretch his income" yet, at the same time, makes fun of people who need welfare. I don't understand how Lori can sleep at night. Sometimes, I wonder if her and Trump are related.

On another note, I could NOT believe that Lori remained on her long vacation instead of being with her Mom as she was dying in the hospital. 

[Katzchen24]

7 hours ago, usmcmom said:

Let's not forget that, while explaining why anal sex is wrong, Lori actually wrote  "It's the wrong hole."

? I'm surprised she didn't mix it up with belly button analogies and talk about innies and outies. 

Please oh please, where can I find these words of wisdom so that I can read them myself.

 

[smittykins]

Some seem to have the idea that "people have been been doing this for thousands of years, they'll figure it out on their wedding night."

[EowynW]

Sent them away to purity camps. 

[SongRed7]

Ironic that on a blog for teaching women by a woman who professes only to "teach women" 11 of the 13 comments on today's blog post (so far) are from men.   

[Koala]

1 hour ago, SongRed7 said:

Ironic that on a blog for teaching women by a woman who professes only to "teach women" 11 of the 13 comments on today's blog post (so far) are from men.   

I think it is HILARIOUS!  Eventually, MRA will be her only audience, and she'll still be shouting to the rooftops that she doesn't teach men.

As for the today's post, has anyone ever noticed that when it comes to men, everything is a NEED!!!!11!!!?

They NEED to lead, NEED all the jobz, NEED Sex, NEED to be reverenced, NEED respect.

Women?  Everything with them is "needs".  Always "needs".

Makes me sick.

[Free Jana Duggar]

1 hour ago, SongRed7 said:

Ironic that on a blog for teaching women by a woman who professes only to "teach women" 11 of the 13 comments on today's blog post (so far) are from men.   

I think Lori has run off some of her fangirls. I remember a couple of comments telling her they were not comfortable with so many men commenting. Even the leghumpers could smell the creeps.

Any man who has time to read a blog intended for women and comment is  questionable. Probably some pervs in their mom's basement.  A decent man (even a fundie one) will be out working one of his dozen jobs. He wouldn't have time for that.

 

[ladyicantxplain]

29 minutes ago, SongRed7 said:

Ironic that on a blog for teaching women by a woman who professes only to "teach women" 11 of the 13 comments on today's blog post (so far) are from men.   

Ah, and the "Jezebel spirit" comments have commenced...

Sickening false teaching.

Be shut down immediately and exposed as false to all who read.

That is what I have to say about the blog, today and every day, until it is shut down  or actually transformed to be the real gospel message.

[Koala]

Reader:

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 I agree that the guilt belongs to the wife. 

Of course it does, honey!  For everything.  HER FAULT, amiright?!?!

?

[Imrlgoddess]

Soooo, if a woman isn't fulfilling her duty to her headship she's sinning and he has the right to withhold whatever he wants from her in the name of spousal discipline.  But if he's acting like a righteous jackass, she's supposed to be even more meek and pray him into being worthy.  mmhmm. 

Looks to me like if he bears no responsibility over her submission, she bears no responsibility over his willingness to care for her.  If she doesn't *deserve* the new dishwasher because she didn't heed something he said, then he doesn't *deserve* her submission because he drank away the paycheck this week.  Why are the women supposed to endure being coupled with irresponsible losers if the men aren't to endure naggy, petty women?

(I don't know if any of that come off right...I'm just trying to say the double standard is ?)

[wallysmommy]

Today’s plagiarized doodle — since when is tithing an expense and women shouldn’t work to avoid it? I was taught to tithe as cheerful giving, thanking God for what he has provided.

[delphinium65]

2 hours ago, Koala said:

They NEED to lead, NEED all the jobz, NEED Sex, NEED to be reverenced, NEED respect.

I hate to break it to Lori (I kid, I would LOVE to break it to Lori), but the rest of the world operates on earned respect.  Most people outside of the fundie bubble, male or female, get the respect they earn.  I respect my husband because he has earned it.  I trust him because he gives me every reason to, and no reason to think I shouldn't.  He respects my opinions, and I respect his.  I fail to see any downside here!  

As with any generalization, of course there are exceptions to the earned respect principle, but the bottom line is if you want respect, show others that you deserve it by your behavior, and by demonstrating respect for them, not by simply having male genitalia.  

[SuperNova]

4 hours ago, SongRed7 said:

Ironic that on a blog for teaching women by a woman who professes only to "teach women" 11 of the 13 comments on today's blog post (so far) are from men.   

Are you talking about the blog page or FB? Her actual blog only has 4 comments and the only man commenting is Dave. Speaking of Dave, why is he always such a grade A creep? 

Spoiler

As a man commented on your blog a few weeks back, the prostitute that was requested most was the one interested in her client.

Yes, each wife should be like this towards her husband. 

If these men are so godly and pure, how do they know which prostitute is popular? 

17 hours ago, PinkPrincess0213 said:

It's the lady in the streets/whore in the sheets complex that so many Christian men have as their ideal standard. 

You hit the nail right on the head.

[SongRed7]

2 hours ago, SuperNova said:

Are you talking about the blog page or FB? Her actual blog only has 4 comments

oops I meant FB....

[Koala]

3 hours ago, wallysmommy said:

Today’s plagiarized doodle — since when is tithing an expense and women shouldn’t work to avoid it? I was taught to tithe as cheerful giving, thanking God for what he has provided.

In the past, Lori has (conveniently) hinted that tithing might be a sin:

https://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2015/05/is-it-sin-to-tithe.html

She begins:

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Michael Pearl believes it is a sin to tithe. 

She concludes:

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Yes, this is radical teaching and you aren't going to hear it taught in many churches today but I challenge you to find one verse in the New Covenant {those books written to the Church; Romans to Revelation} that teaches tithing. 

In another post, she wrote:

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No, Christians do not have to tithe; give a certain, prescribed amount away to the church and others.

In a follow up to that post (and because Lori REALLLLY doesn't want to be parted with Ken's money), she wrote:

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I just want to inform you that no matter what you say, you are not going to convince me that we still live under the Law.

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I'm not going to be publishing any comments that disagree with me. 

She concludes:

In other news:

She eats "so much sardines".  God help me...

[Hisey]

This is interesting. Oh, no, eight years of a black president!

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Celeste Morris I would also like to know the answer to the question do you believe white men are not in power. I am a Christian woman that does most of what the transformed wife says I should do. I stay home, I homeschool my five children, I let my husband lead the family. But I didn’t vote with him. Politically we are opposite. But I believe this is cause he is a white man in America and his privilege blinds him to problems in our society.

Alyssa Roberts Margaret Gordon thank you for your wise comments! ?

Rudyard Kingburg The only group it's ok to criticize across the board is white men. What happens a white man says he has white male pride? Does that honestly sound like power to anyone?

The Transformed Wife Celeste Morris we just had a black man for president for EIGHT years!!! Obey your husband and vote the way he does!

 

 

[ladyicantxplain]

This little exchange right here is indicative of the perverse beliefs of Lori and those who believe as she does:

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Comment: There can be only one leader in any household and it’s the Godly, loving, Jesus following husband. A family situation where there is NO husband is unfortunately tragic and leaderless and usually headed towards many deep problems. Salvation can only be found through obeying the word of the Lord.

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The Transformed Wife replies: Even a husband who is not a "godly, loving, Jesus following husband" is the leader of the household.

 

 

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Comment in response to TTW: The Transformed Wife that’s true, women cannot lead a household and cannot be fathers to their children.

Not a word of this is supported by the Bible.

A man who is not "godly, loving or Jesus following" is NOT  the "leader of the household" - rather, this is what the Bible says of him:

But now I write to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of [Christian] brother if he is known to be guilty of immorality or greed, or is an idolater [whose soul is devoted to any object that usurps the place of God], or is a person with a foul tongue [railing, abusing, reviling, slandering], or is a drunkard or a swindler or a robber. [No] you must not so much as eat with such a person.

Here is another example, from Jesus' mouth:

The Children of the Devil
…Why do you not understand what I am saying? It is because you are unable to accept My message. You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out his desires. He was a murderer from the beginning,refusing to uphold the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language,because he is a liar and the father of lies.

I could go on, but I'm preaching to the choir and I know it.

My point is, a Christian woman who thinks her unsaved, godless husband (idolator) is "the leader of her household" is deceived: she has DEVILS for the "leaders" of her household if she is allowing this man to "lead" them...plain and simple.

This is precisely WHY one of Lori's favorite verses exists (hint: it's not for the sexual reasons Lori has used it - her exegesis has been perverse):

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The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife...

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Principles of Marriage
…And if a woman has an unbelieving husband and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his believing wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let him go. The believing brother or sister is not bound in such cases. God has called you to live in peace.…

A husband and wife are one flesh according to the Word. This is what the bible is talking about here: if one spouse is a believer, the believing spouse SANCTIFIES (sets apart) the ordinarily DEVILISH spouse for the LORD.  The unbelieving spouse gets to reap some of the benefits of the believing spouse's COVENANT of Blood with God through Christ's work BECAUSE they are one flesh.  This is what is means that a spouse's body doesn't belong to him/herself: it's not about sexuality alone; it is about mutuality, and the text is so clear Ray Charles could see it!

Thus, if a woman and man have an unequally yoked marriage, there is ONE LEADER, and it is JESUS CHRIST, by the Spirit of God, living in the BELIEVING SPOUSE'S body.  This DOES NOT MEAN that the believing spouse is to "let the unbeliever lead the house" because he has a penis.  This is precisely why we have this scripture:

 

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Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands as to the Lord. 

It means "Wives, be cooperative with your husbands if what your husband is doing is of the LORD", contrary to what Lori believes it means.

Thus, a wife married to an unbeliever is only cooperative with him as long as he is behaving in a manner that is NOT EVIL.  The moment he is behaving in an evil manner, she is no longer cooperating with him (or rather, the evil manifesting itself through him.)  

By default, a man who is not a believer will do things that will REQUIRE his wife (who is a believer) to LEAD THE HOUSEHOLD at any given time (He may choose to drink away the rent money; he may choose to neglect his family for other interests; he may demand that his kids watch evil shows on TV, but the wife must LEAD the household away from evil.)

I really do not understand why this is so difficult for Comps to understand...

Sorry for the length of the sermon.

[Lgirlrocks]

if men can hold back their sexual urges to save themselves for marriage then why can’t they do the same during marriage? Are men really that horny that if they don’t get sex whenever they want that they will cheat? I obviously know this answer. Nothing. And I mean nothing. Makes cheating okay. If a man or women cheats it is on them not their spouse.

I believe Lori has so many boys commenting on her blog because they want to be in control and she believes they should be. 

[Pammy]

@ladyicantxplain

I would like to remind you that humanity is full of decent men and women. It is unreasonable to assert that being an “unbeliever” is equivalent to being the kind of person who is abusive, irresponsible, evil or ‘devilish’.

It doesn’t take Jesus to make someone into a kind-hearted and respectful human being who can be a good spouse and partner. Those people are found everywhere.