M Is for Mama 2: Quiverfull/Pinterest

[luv2laugh]

1 hour ago, Anonymousguest said:

I find I have the same problem as Braggie and my mom. "My baby girl is so smart she's 3 and she's already reading. But she still wakes me up at 3am and refuses to wear pants in public " or receive a compliment " you have such a beautiful house, perfect for entertaining " "yes, but it's so much work to clean and the open space is tooloud when people are over." I'm sure it's the result of my up bringing. Why I do it I'm not sure. I don't want to sound like I'm bragging or that I think that I'm better than someone else, because I definitely don't. I don't feel worthy of the compliment, and though I definitely think my kids are worthy of the praise I still feel guilty for doing it. I guess it comes from a place of insecurity. I'm trying hard to get over it and be conscious of it and bite my tongue when struck with the urge to temper my praise or compliment with something negative. 

The more I read about Braggie, the more I suspect she also is coming from a place of insecurity. I don't think she's a narcissist. If a cluster B is involved it's more likely borderline. She desperately wants people to like her and see how worthy she is, but she is terrible afraid of their judgement and rejection. Narcissists are overly confident. It never occurred to them that someone might disagree with them, and if someone does it's *their* problem. Like Jill Rod. She says whatever she wants, not caring if people disagree or what they think of her. If they disagree it's because there is something wrong with them, or they are actually persecuting them. The things she's shared about the body image, trichotillomania, the fact it takes 2hrs to write a post and it needs to be be 100% perfect before posting... All that says BPD to me.

I do feel sorry for her. Unfortunately I have lots of experience with BPD in a family member. I know they come off as being self centered and manipulative, and they are hard to live with. But it comes from a place of self loathing and insecurity, not from one thinking they are the center of the universe. 

Do you post your brags online and make everything about you while doing so? Do you continue this despite your followers asking you how you’re truthfully “doing it all” or do you continue to be a phony because you feed on that attention? Do you share your kids flaws on an Instagram of their birthday or on a blog? Do you spend hours scouting deals and decorating while allowing the oldest of your 8 kids to parent? Do you joke about loving child labor, brag about their strict cleaning routines, and about fuss juicing them?

On an unrelated note, Histrionics are deeply insecure as well as borderlines. Histrionics have a deep need for attention similar to all within the realm of Cluster B Personality. She may not have any of these at all and may simply just come off via her posts as a self-righteous jerk. The only thing we can say for certain is that she comes off as a cold, self-righteous person who fervently enjoys receiving attention. 

No one knows for sure what her problem is or IF she has a problem at all but on a different note, Trump’s narcissism is driven by deep insecurity.  There are also insecure people with no issues at all. Many people are simply just insecure and have to work on developing confidence.

I’m not going to repeat my previous earlier observations & opinions but Braggie has admitted over and over to not being emotional nor sympathetic to her children. I’m not surprised she finds it easy train them to serve her, do her jobs and discipline them. She apparently spends her time irresponsibly and continues to brush off everything as sin rather than do something to change what bothers her.

You can continue feeling sorry for her. I don’t as she’s shown herself to be irresponsible by doing nothing to change what is bothersome to her. I feel sorry for her kids and everyone else that has to pick up her slack while she goes shopping, saunters off to the gym 3x/week, or sits on her butt for hours researching Anthro deals on Poshmark/eBay. This is not what someone with 8 kids can honestly say that they’re responsibly spending their time on. 

Edit: For example, if I’m a grumpy person to my friends, it’s easy to address it as sin, thank God for His grace that I’m undeserving of, and move on rather than do the hard work of fixing it so that it no longer continues.

[nastyhobbitses]

11 hours ago, sleepy_doggos said:

And she had to remark they put food on there she didn't like. Ugh. My mom is hard to shop/gift for (even with little things like this plate of food) and it turns me off giving her gifts. My gifts were never right for her, even as a kid, and I still feel that during Christmas time. It's like she always expects gifts to disappoint her and they always do.
I really wish my mom would go to therapy too.

This thread is full of mom bullshit. Ha. Thanks abbie! We're grateful for you pointing this shit out to us!

Abbie should have gone into professional tennis with the strength of those backhand compliments. 

[pandorasjen]

Braggie reminds me of a ‘friend’ I have. We were friends in high school and are Facebook friends now since she lives in a different state. 

Constantly looking for validation, constantly having babies. My Facebook friend though has had around 20 miscarriages and has 7 living kids.

Its a total need for attention. It goes in a pattern too. It’s either baby or lost baby, then it’s her special needs kids, then if neither of those are getting her the attention she wants, it’s long rants about how everyone always says mean things to her and don’t you know how hard it is to have special needs kids and/or dead babies?! 

I’m not trying to come across as a total bitch, but, there’s only so much I can take considering she can never reach out to anyone else AND she involves her kids with every baby death. She says her kids are sad all the time about their dead siblings. How about you actually care about the ones you have here and their needs instead of chasing more babies! I could go on forever lol. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

So...... Ummmm... I guess your "friend" has never considered that 20 or so miscarriages is perhaps God's way of saying no more.  Concentrate on the ones you have and be thankful.

20 miscarriages is a lot. Are they truly miscarriages or is she assuming that every time she has even a slightly late period she miscarried?****

I worked with a wacky fundie like this years ago.  Well, she wasn't wacky per se, but definitely fundie  and very very naive.  Her husband, however, was a total loon and a really evil manipulative SOB.  She was a young married (about a year) and she didn't seem to know much about the facts of life, nothing at all really.   

She was distraught and freaked out most of the time.  We all thought she was borderline nuts until one day a friend found her sobbing her heart out in the ladies.  After she calmed down a little she told the other woman she'd miscarried.  My friend of course is sympathetic and offers to drive her to the doctors until ......... She sobbed and wailed "What will I tell my husband.  This keeps happening every month. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. He going to be so so angry I've failed again. I'm terrified to tell him tonight it's happened again. I've had 11 miscarriages this year"  My friend said "what the what......" Then the whole story came out......

Her husband had her convinced that every time she had her period she had "done something wrong" to intentionally cause a miscarriage or sinned in some way so God caused her miscarriage. Because of course she was pregnant (super special fundie sperm I guess).

When we all learned this we tried to tell her that she wasn't pregnant and it was a period not a miscarriage.  Someone even brought in a 'tween book on the facts of life for her.  She was insistent that her husband was right and even said her parents had raised her to believe being married was so she could get pregnant immediately and have as many babies as possible all the time.  This was her "special gift" to her husband and was her solemn duty.  She was really fuzzy on exactly how one got pregnant or why,  although she did know it was because she allowed hubby to "put his thing in down there" while she lay still.  She assumed once she got married she'd never have a period again because she'd be pregnant continuously.

She left the office about 2 months later so I never knew what happened to her.  I hope she read the book we gave her.  I hope she left the asshat she married, but I fear not.

**** Absolutely no snark or shade to anyone here who has miscarried or knows someone who has.

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, pandorasjen said:

Braggie reminds me of a ‘friend’ I have. We were friends in high school and are Facebook friends now since she lives in a different state. 

Constantly looking for validation, constantly having babies. My Facebook friend though has had around 20 miscarriages and has 7 living kids.

Its a total need for attention. It goes in a pattern too. It’s either baby or lost baby, then it’s her special needs kids, then if neither of those are getting her the attention she wants, it’s long rants about how everyone always says mean things to her and don’t you know how hard it is to have special needs kids and/or dead babies?! 

I’m not trying to come across as a total bitch, but, there’s only so much I can take considering she can never reach out to anyone else AND she involves her kids with every baby death. She says her kids are sad all the time about their dead siblings. How about you actually care about the ones you have here and their needs instead of chasing more babies! I could go on forever lol. 

That sounds like Lisa Metzger. She’s given birth to ten and had 18 miscarriages. And her living children cry over her miscarriages. She also drags them to abortion protests on their birthday and says she’s had an ectopic pregnancy that turned out fine. 

[So-Virgin-It-Hurts]

On ‎11‎/‎22‎/‎2018 at 3:33 AM, luv2laugh said:

In fact, bizzarely enough, my mother is jealous of my accomplishments. She will bite her tongue to congratulate me on my accomplishments but follow it with an insult or some remark as if she thinks we’re in competition with each other. I hope Braggie Abbie does not end up like that. 

Did we have the same mother???

[FilleMondaine]

@So-Virgin-It-Hurts and @luv2laugh and the others, let me join in the chorus! There was another poster here who talked about her troubles as a mother (or mother-to-be) with a mother like ours. She was looking for resources, and I thought I would share what really really helped me:

Books: Bringing up Bebe, Positive Discipline series, How to hug a porcupine series,

Therapy: lots and lots. And couples therapy, too, so that you and partner can hammer out parenting expectations

TV/Movies: You know those mothers that you secretly wish you had, but couldn't tell your own parents for fear of punishment? What did you like about that parent? I mean specifics, like how do they respond when the child comes home late? How do they talk about sex? Use those exact same words, because people like you and I need to practice appropriate responses because we never had them at home. For me--this is so sad--for me it was a fracking revelation that a kid would come home late to a parent asking "are you ok?" before yelling.

Speaking of thread drift, thanks for the Freckled Fox update. I wanted to hear how she was doing, but unwilling to forge through GOMI.

And hugs to everyone who walked out of these situations. We are so strong and so awesome!

[Walking Cat Bed]

My mom was another with lots of miscarriages.

 

I'm one of three, but there were at least a dozen miscarriages that she tried to get medical help to "keep". I don't remember going to the doctor's for a dozen checkups, but she'd go back for another "miracle treatment" that would help her stay pregnant. And we knew from a young age that she was "trying to save our brother or sister" (my brother was barely older than a toddler the day he was crying in the living room because "the baby died" -- she was still in the first two or three months). And, when I was seven or eight, she told me she had "prophetic" dreams about my "brothers and sisters in heaven" -- including one where they were all getting dressed in armor to fight against "spiritual warfare", and that they'd told her their army was the miscarried and aborted (and that the aborted were "furious that they never had a chance"). 

 

Between her multiple miscarriages and my sister's three increasingly difficult pregnancies, I have a "family history of fertility issues" for anyone who's not likely to accept that I don't want kids. 

[EowynW]

https://m.youtube.com/channel/UC-PepfX4nM19zhdgEn3o5kg/about

she seems to be handling her kids better than Braggie, from what little I saw. 

[bea]

https://m.youtube.com/channel/UC-PepfX4nM19zhdgEn3o5kg/about
she seems to be handling her kids better than Braggie, from what little I saw. 

Wow, she’s terrifying. Up at 2:55am! Four cribs in the room! And their names, OMG. KingJames? Really?
[emoji23]

[EowynW]

I meant to add sarcasm warning to my post with the link but forget. It's been a long day, LOL. 

[bea]

Send the ferrets. The vegan-Australian-Finnish family is just BONKERS. Taina Licciardo-Toivola is the mom of 10 and dad Paul is some kind of preacher about the End Times.

Holy crow. I cannot stop looking at these Instagrams and videos. The oldest son is Leonardo and is married to Jenna, who’s 18, they’re both thin as rails and clearly have modeling aspirations and it’s just so CREEPY. The kids are Leonardo, Cleopatra Taina Bride, Jerusalem, Shakespeare, Romeo, D'Artagnan, KingJames Ocean, Aphrodite, Nefertiti Butterfly Bambi and Omega Royal Fox.

 

Nefertiti. Butterfly. Bambi.

 

Ack.

 

(Apparently they have their own thread about Australian Finnish Vegan Doomsday Cult, I know I saw it, just can’t find it.)

[imokit]

@bea

 

Creepy blanket training people who believe colour is bad ?

[luv2laugh]

Braggie will never be someone like Jen Hatmaker. She would have to completely rewire her personality to have similar appeal. Jen Hatmaker makes everyone want to be her BFF. She truly represents Christ-like love in her life and in parenting. Even Beth Moore, Ann Voskamp, and Candace Cameron Bure. There’s a reason why Christian women look up to them and can’t stand people like Lori.

Off topic but I’ve changed my avatar to the beautiful Leslie Mann. She was in a Jergens commercial and made hilarious expressions! 

Leslie Mann’s face in the avatar is the EXACT face I make 99% of the time I read about the bloggers disccused on FJ.

If you don’t know her, she’s an actress and her husband is Judd Apatow made Knocked Up, This is 40, etc. and writes THE BEST tweets.

[PopRox]

I I took one look at at her table decorations and thought "how the hell do have room to eat with all that junk on the table?"

Granted, at our Thanksgiving this year (where at least 6 people contributed to the meal, maybe more), you just fixed your plate and found a place to sit down. No formal place settings, just "here's the food, there's the plates and silverware, go nuts." And we probably had way more fun than any Braggie's guests.

 

[TShirtsLongSkirts]

12 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

If you don’t know her, she’s an actress

She'll always be Ursula from George of the Jungle to me! 

[So-Virgin-It-Hurts]

16 hours ago, imokit said:

@bea

 

Creepy blanket training people who believe colour is bad ?

Just spent HOURS looking at these people! 

[luv2laugh]

I am pretty sure this is the school where Abbie said she taught since I believe she said  she worked for her church’s Christian school.

I find it really weird that the school’s disciplinary code includes calling a parent to come to the principal’s office to “administer a spanking”. It seems very “old school” to me. Do they really think that solves anything?

[BobJonesBabe]

11 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

I am pretty sure this is the school where Abbie said she taught since I believe she said  she worked for her church’s Christian school.

I find it really weird that the school’s disciplinary code includes calling a parent to come to the principal’s office to “administer a spanking”. It seems very “old school” to me. Do they really think that solves anything?

That makes me want to throw up. Even though I went to a Christian school that did this. Including both my sister and myself. We were the good kids. But it happened to pretty much everyone. And often it was actually the teacher who did so, but my mom was a teacher there and so it was her. Witnessed by the teachers. Ugh (Including a pregnant teen--spanked for getting pregnant.) 

[luv2laugh]

WHAT in the world?!

[BobJonesBabe]

16 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

I am pretty sure this is the school where Abbie said she taught since I believe she said  she worked for her church’s Christian school.

I find it really weird that the school’s disciplinary code includes calling a parent to come to the principal’s office to “administer a spanking”. It seems very “old school” to me. Do they really think that solves anything?

Also, if a child fails to respond after that many “visits,” it’s not a spanning that child needs, but some sort of intervention, love, or therapy. So, so sad. I hope they only gave this in their handbook as a warning, and not an actual practice with their students. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I have no clue what a spanking would do for a pregnant teen beside harm them. If an insane amount of religious shaming wasn’t enough to deter a person, a spanking sure as hell won’t. 

[Hane]

@JermajestyDuggar, but don’t you realize that spanking is a panacea that will instantly render every child perfectly behaved and sinless? [/sarcasm]

[luv2laugh]

If fundies want people to not get abortions, shaming and spanking those who get pregnant is not going to work. It will produce the opposite effect. Fundies aren’t too bright.

[Glasgowghirl]

If a parent came to any school here and smacked their child, chances are police and social services would be called. That would apply to Catholic and Non denominational school's.

I feel sorry for any child that has parents like this. When my cousin and his ex found out they were going to be parents, they were 14 and 15 and while we were all shocked, the school was supportive and made sure she was still able to sit her exams. It was her PE teacher that noticed that she was putting on weight around her belly and phoned her mum, turned out she was six months pregnant.