Seewalds 36: Waiting for the Next Cute Kid Video or Photo

[HarryPotterFan]

On 12/11/2018 at 8:54 PM, Carm_88 said:

Jordyn was the forgotten child for the most part, so that's entirely possible. I remember seeing her wandering around the house in Little Rock and the TTH when she was a toddler, no one really paid attention to her. Josie as a micro premie got a lot of attention, and that's not saying that they shouldn't have focused on Josie. Just that Jordyn was very young and she needed attention too.

Watching that broke my heart. She was still a baby herself and got ignored. I can’t imagine how hard it is to have an infant in the NICU, but you can’t ignore the other kids. Especially one so little. When Michelle finally came back to the TTH with Josie I wondered if Jordyn even remembered who she was.

On 12/11/2018 at 9:15 PM, Alice in Fundieland said:

Yup, it was Jordyn. Poor kid. 

 

Look at that little face. And Michelle and the kids LAUGHED until JB said it wasn’t funny. Poor baby. Michelle should have looked up at her and reassured her she’d be okay while JB ran to help. You know, things someone with actual parenting instincts would do. 

[TeaELSee]

57 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

Jessa's helping promote Amy's store.

 

I’m calling it, no abdomen in pictures.

[Glasgowghirl]

Jordyn went from being the one that got Michelle's attention to getting barely any because of Josie being born so soon. While I can understand Jim Bob and Michelle's need to be around Josie at the hospital but them ignoring all the little ones, more than they usually did. 

Jordyn going straight to Jessa after getting her stuck in the railings and Jackson wanting Jana after getting lost at the airport, shows how little involvement Jim Bob and Michelle have with their children, especially the young ones.

[VelociRapture]

5 hours ago, HarryPotterFan said:

Watching that broke my heart. She was still a baby herself and got ignored. I can’t imagine how hard it is to have an infant in the NICU, but you can’t ignore the other kids. Especially one so little. When Michelle finally came back to the TTH with Josie I wondered if Jordyn even remembered who she was.

It was hard enough having a one week stay with a relatively healthy preemie and we only had our dog to worry about. I imagine it would have been beyond brutal to have a micropreemie who experienced serious complications. That said, I agree with you completely. They had 17 other kids at home to care for at the time who needed their parents too. Between the sheer number of kids and how serious Josie’s condition was there is just no way all of those kids (Josie included) didn’t get neglected at some point during that time period. It’s understandable to a very limited extent, but it’s definitely not excusable.

[SassyPants]

2 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

It was hard enough having a one week stay with a relatively healthy preemie and we only had our dog to worry about. I imagine it would have been beyond brutal to have a micropreemie who experienced serious complications. That said, I agree with you completely. They had 17 other kids at home to care for at the time who needed their parents too. Between the sheer number of kids and how serious Josie’s condition was there is just no way all of those kids (Josie included) didn’t get neglected at some point during that time period. It’s understandable to a very limited extent, but it’s definitely not excusable.

Although Josie's birth and hospitalization was a very critical and likely the most stressful time of their parenting journey, I think at one point or another, all of the kids have experienced basic neglect, mainly d/t to parental time constraints, in the Duggar home. Also, as much as parents of Nicu patients feel the need to be at their child's bedside ,for a critically ill micro preemie there is another caregiver at that bedside 100% of the time. In the beginning of Josie's life, the bulk of Michelle's time would have been better spent caring for and nurturing her other children. Now, later in Josie's stay, when she was growing and feeding, obviously she needed her parents at her bedside learning to care for Josie and her particular needs.

The needs of a micro preemie are so individualized and unique; no 2 extremely low birth weight neonates will have the exact same needs or will tolerate the same level of stimulation.

[HarryPotterFan]

33 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

It was hard enough having a one week stay with a relatively healthy preemie and we only had our dog to worry about. I imagine it would have been beyond brutal to have a micropreemie who experienced serious complications. That said, I agree with you completely. They had 17 other kids at home to care for at the time who needed their parents too. Between the sheer number of kids and how serious Josie’s condition was there is just no way all of those kids (Josie included) didn’t get neglected at some point during that time period. It’s understandable to a very limited extent, but it’s definitely not excusable.

Yeah, I remember you talking about how hard that was. And another element is most parents aren’t able to take extended periods of time off when their child is in the hospital. JB and M are lucky in that they didn’t have to worry about that. So with all those hours in the day, they somehow didn’t have time for both Josie and the other kids. They like to talk about how much time they have for their kids since they don’t work outside of the home, but then they aren’t their kids primary caregiver and kids have to make fucking appointments to see them.

Now I’m remembering that video that went viral a few months back about a grandpa who visits babies in the NICU and PICU. He’s job in retirement is to snuggle and read to babies whose parents can’t be at the hospital due to work. As horrible as it is to have an infant/child in intensive care, there are so many people and programs there to care for the kids. And this helps the babies and comforts parents. 

 

I also feel so bad for Jordyn that she can look back on seasons of 19KAC and see how her parents ignore her and how her mom laughed when she was scared. Same for the Howler boys who got laughed at when they were scared (falling in the orchestra pit, getting lost in the airport). This could really breed resentment.

[VelociRapture]

14 minutes ago, HarryPotterFan said:

Yeah, I remember you talking about how hard that was. And another element is most parents aren’t able to take extended periods of time off when their child is in the hospital. JB and M are lucky in that they didn’t have to worry about that. So with all those hours in the day, they somehow didn’t have time for both Josie and the other kids. They like to talk about how much time they have for their kids since they don’t work outside of the home, but then they aren’t their kids primary caregiver and kids have to make fucking appointments to see them.

Now I’m remembering that video that went viral a few months back about a grandpa who visits babies in the NICU and PICU. He’s job in retirement is to snuggle and read to babies whose parents can’t be at the hospital due to work. As horrible as it is to have an infant/child in intensive care, there are so many people and programs there to care for the kids. And this helps the babies and comforts parents. 

 

I also feel so bad for Jordyn that she can look back on seasons of 19KAC and see how her parents ignore her and how her mom laughed when she was scared. Same for the Howler boys who got laughed at when they were scared (falling in the orchestra pit, getting lost in the airport). This could really breed resentment.

I’ve seen that video before and it never fails to make me smile. I’m pretty sure that’s my dream job.  

I don’t remember if our NICU did that or not. I do know they had peer mentors through a local charity who would come and talk to any parents who might need it though. One volunteer spoke to us the day I had to be discharged without my daughter and it was really comforting to be able to talk to someone who had been there before. 

And, of course, the (phenomenal) NICU Nurses have the best time making little keepsakes for their patients. Our daughter’s first Nurse (who was a year behind me at my High School and who were friends with on social media) did her footprints in ink on a piece of cardboard decorated with Winnie the Pooh stickers. They also made an adorable sign with her name and birth weight on it that hung on her basinette (those are both in her baby book now.) Around the holidays they’ve been known to do footprint art too - they did little footprint turkeys for Thanksgiving this year and it was adorable. 

[HurricaneBells]

10 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

One volunteer spoke to us the day I had to be discharged without my daughter and it was really comforting to be able to talk to someone who had been there before. 

I had stayed fairly calm through the whole emergency shebang but I near lost my mind when they spoke of sending me home first without him. I had never thought of that possibility and was inconsolable but there were people there for us to talk to and give support. It didn't happen in the end but I have so much empathy for any mama going home without their baby and grateful for the extra support regardless.

The OP that wondered who Jessa's 51 is? Probably Amy's boutique. It has an Insta account linked in her post.

[Alice in Fundieland]

I didn’t get to bring my babies home when I was discharged and that was so hard. My oldest spent a week in the NICU, my second spent 11 weeks in the NICU, and my youngest spent 3 weeks in the NICU. My parents were a tremendous help when I wanted or needed to be at the hospital, but my husband and I would often visit at different times of the day just so the other could be at home with the older child(ren). The Duggars had plenty of options that would’ve given them more time to care for their other children, but that’s never been their thing so I guess they didn’t see a need to deviate from their norm. 

[HarryPotterFan]

41 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

I’ve seen that video before and it never fails to make me smile. I’m pretty sure that’s my dream job.  

I don’t remember if our NICU did that or not. I do know they had peer mentors through a local charity who would come and talk to any parents who might need it though. One volunteer spoke to us the day I had to be discharged without my daughter and it was really comforting to be able to talk to someone who had been there before. 

And, of course, the (phenomenal) NICU Nurses have the best time making little keepsakes for their patients. Our daughter’s first Nurse (who was a year behind me at my High School and who were friends with on social media) did her footprints in ink on a piece of cardboard decorated with Winnie the Pooh stickers. They also made an adorable sign with her name and birth weight on it that hung on her basinette (those are both in her baby book now.) Around the holidays they’ve been known to do footprint art too - they did little footprint turkeys for Thanksgiving this year and it was adorable. 

Being a baby snuggler is my retirement plan. I should suggest this to my grandma so she stops asking about great grandchildren. (Her first one is on the way, but my cousin lives on the other side of the country).

NICU nurses are amazing, special people.

[ophelia]

On 12/15/2018 at 7:53 PM, TheMustardCardigan said:

I think it's kinda funny that she calls her "a Duggar girl" instead of "my cousin Amy."

That was a real teaser. For a second I thought that Jana would have opened up her own store and that made me quite happy.

On 12/16/2018 at 4:30 AM, HarryPotterFan said:

Being a baby snuggler is my retirement plan. I should suggest this to my grandma so she stops asking about great grandchildren. (Her first one is on the way, but my cousin lives on the other side of the country).

I want my mother to do that, but unfortunately there isn't a maternity ward in my hometown.

[StraightOuttaArkansas]

Maybe Jessa wrote "Duggar girl" because she secretly wants her own fashion boutique! *hailing the bus right now* In all seriousness though, that really seems like something Jessa would have been interested in doing and could have partnered with Amy (if you put modesty aside). It would have been nice for Jessa to to be a position like that and I am sure she has enough stashed away from TLC money, that she could have outright owned her half. At least she has a that example around her and more importantly, her boys being exposed to a woman not just working, but owning a business.

[ophelia]

That would have been awesome! 

Does Ben have a real job at the moment? So are the boys at least exposed to one working adult?

[Icea]

14 minutes ago, StraightOuttaArkansas said:

Maybe Jessa wrote "Duggar girl" because she secretly wants her own fashion boutique! *hailing the bus right now* In all seriousness though, that really seems like something Jessa would have been interested in doing and could have partnered with Amy (if you put modesty aside). It would have been nice for Jessa to to be a position like that and I am sure she has enough stashed away from TLC money, that she could have outright owned her half. At least she has a that example around her and more importantly, her boys being exposed to a woman not just working, but owning a business.

I think it might also be a subtle way to get back at critics for saying that the Duggar daughters don't work and have no aspirations other than to be SAHMs. As in "Look, we Duggar girls do work and can have businesses, the rest of us simply don't want to!", not realizing that cousin Amy has never really been considered part of the Borg Duggar collective and thus this only puts more focus on the fact that Jessa and her sisters don't work/run businesses. 

[TheMustardCardigan]

It would be neat to see one of the actual Duggar 19 open up their own store. I could see a modern modest clothing store being a success for one of the girls! 

[BachelorToTheRapture]

6 hours ago, StraightOuttaArkansas said:

Maybe Jessa wrote "Duggar girl" because she secretly wants her own fashion boutique! *hailing the bus right now* In all seriousness though, that really seems like something Jessa would have been interested in doing and could have partnered with Amy (if you put modesty aside). It would have been nice for Jessa to to be a position like that and I am sure she has enough stashed away from TLC money, that she could have outright owned her half. At least she has a that example around her and more importantly, her boys being exposed to a woman not just working, but owning a business.

I dont know how much that will help the boys as they may also be told that Amy is sinful and wrong because she's not just like them. Weren't the duggars not allowed to be alone with her and some other rules?

[Glasgowghirl]

20 minutes ago, BachelorToTheRapture said:

I dont know how much that will help the boys as they may also be told that Amy is sinful and wrong because she's not just like them. Weren't the duggars not allowed to be alone with her and some other rules?

I hope none of the kid's are told that about Amy and any children she may have, Amy may not have the same beliefs as them but she is still a Christian. I remember one of the Bates saying her car looked like an illegal pharmaceutical sales reps car on an episode of the show, horribly judgemental thing to say and something that they had been told by other adults around them. 

 

[SassyPants]

6 hours ago, ophelia said:

That would have been awesome! 

rDoes Ben have a real job at the moment? So are the boys at least exposed to one working adult?

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

I'm sure their is some wishful, "if only " with a lot of the married kiddults.

[VineHeart137]

These boys really are too cute. Someone commented that Ben ripped the bandaid off too fast? Don't most people rip off bandaids quickly?

 

[HarryPotterFan]

I thought ripping band-aids off quickly was normal too. I am disappointed that no one thought to actually draw a mustache on the bandaid. That would have been adorable.

[AtlanticTug]

On 12/15/2018 at 8:24 PM, VelociRapture said:

It was hard enough having a one week stay with a relatively healthy preemie and we only had our dog to worry about. I imagine it would have been beyond brutal to have a micropreemie who experienced serious complications. That said, I agree with you completely. They had 17 other kids at home to care for at the time who needed their parents too. Between the sheer number of kids and how serious Josie’s condition was there is just no way all of those kids (Josie included) didn’t get neglected at some point during that time period. It’s understandable to a very limited extent, but it’s definitely not excusable.

I had a healthy preemie (she was "just" early, and had trouble regulating her temp and blood glucose levels in the beginning) and a 2-year-old at home and while it was about the same time as you, I literally wept every day because I felt so badly for my toddler that I wasn't there. I already had guilt over him not being the only child anymore and add to that the fact we were at the hospital. My husband would go home for about half the day but I was stuck there because of breastfeeding and pumping and while my son visited it still wasn't the same.

I don't blame JB & Michelle so much for the initial attention they had to pay to Josie but everything that's come in the following 9 years has been appalling in the context of the other younger kids/girls.

[Carm_88]

Fast is the best way with bandaids, if you wait and tug slowly it hurts more. Fast and it's one quick sting.

[Glasgowghirl]

2 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

Fast is the best way with bandaids, if you wait and tug slowly it hurts more. Fast and it's one quick sting.

Agreed and Spurgeon didn't even seem to flinch when it got removed, people are reaching for things to complain about.

[twoandthrough]

Isn't ripping them off quickly where the phrase "rip the bandaid off" came from? Some people just want to complain.