Lori Alexander 54: Embracing the Manosphere

[Briefly]

Once, once only, I had a paycheck that didn't get cashed or deposited for a few weeks.  Mr. Briefly had a huge number of hours worked and got a really good paycheck.  I'm not even sure if we were married yet, or just living in sin as it used to be called, but that was a one time occurrence.  He was painting parking lots at the time (hot, hard, sticky, sweaty work) and his boss was attempting to work the crew to death so there were lots of hours.

Lori would have no clue if she had to take care of herself.  I moved out of my parents house and was on my own for a few months before I met Mr. Briefly and I was fine.  When he and I had our issues an divorced, I was on my own for several months and did fine.  Better than he did, actually.  I tease him that we only got back together because I didn't want him to starve - that's not the reason, but he does see the point!  If something happened and I suddenly found myself single, I would still be able to take care of myself.  My parents wanted their children to not have to be dependent on anyone else.  We taught our daughter self-reliance.  I don't think that Lori ever learned those lessons.  I think she knows that, and that probably has a lot to do with some of the things she says - she knows she's deficient and can't stand that someone else might do better than she ever could.

[Hane]

Back in the early ‘80s, there *was* rumored to be a woman in our office who had a stack of uncashed paychecks in her desk drawer. She was middle-aged and her husband was making bank, so she worked “to have something to do” and used her pay as “mad money.” As I recall, they had no kids. We all thought she was, well, nuts.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Hopefully Ken will outlive Lori so she doesn't foist herself on her children to be taken care of.  I'm positive she'd move in whether she was wanted or not.

Can you imagine Lori's DILs having to live with her?

Or Lori's continuous hateful passive aggressive snark to Alyssa?

Or the damage she would do to Cassie who is already under her thumb, and probably always will be?

Lori describes herself as a taker and that's exactly what she'd be living with her childrem

[quiversR4hunting]

2 hours ago, Imrlgoddess said:

Mini-rant that is somewhat on topic:  My company still issues checks without direct deposit.  But for anyone who didn't cash or deposit theirs Friday, they're screwed today.  Bank levy's aren't announced and the business suddenly finds itself with a frozen account...sounds fun don't it?  They preach and preach about going into business for yourself or sticking with the family business....well, just because one family member was honest doesn't mean they all were.  And the later generations get to pay for the sins of the previous.  

Three paychecks uncashed?  I guess she had the privilege of working for fun money.  

That stinks! I worked for a family owned business and twice I couldn't deposit my check after work. After that, I would get my check, take my lunch and then go cash it at their bank so then I could deposit it in my account at a different bank. 

Good luck with your job. 

[louisa05]

I know a woman (just through a mutual friend) who married at 19 having never moved out of her parents's house prior. She bragged one day that at 30+ years old she had never written a check or opened or paid a bill. 

I'm guessing Lori is exactly the same. Daddy probably took care of everything while she was a college student and then she got married and Ken does. It would also explain her absolute ignorance about what it really costs to live. 

[feministxtian]

13 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

I know a woman (just through a mutual friend) who married at 19 having never moved out of her parents's house prior. She bragged one day that at 30+ years old she had never written a check or opened or paid a bill. 

My MIL used to tell the story of how the hubs didn't know how to write a check (to basically say how dumb he was). She wasn't expecting it when I jumped her shit telling her that she had failed as a parent for not teaching her son basic life skills. Reason #78968875963 why she hates my fucking guts. 

[Sarah92]

At 25 I very rarely use checks, just for rent really. But isn't having three checks not cashed bad for the accounting of a business? I remember I lost a paycheck once and paid to replace it. I've just learned not to mess around with not cashing checks. 

Ive never been around for the good old days like Lori talks about but I doubt that people were simply happier during those times. Depression, untreated disease and war, those simpler times just meant people died quicker. Spouses still cheated and beat on each other, children still abused, unchecked sexual assault with no consequences..... 

[CatholicLite]

Oh my. This paragraph from the article:

Quote

“What kind of woman is the prototype of the ‘90s woman?  What is the modern super-woman supposed to be?  Maybe something like this: she works, builds her own career, demands equal pay, refuses to submit to her husband, demanding equality with him in everything, has an affair or two, and a divorce or two.  She exercises her independence, relies on her own resources, doesn’t want her husband or children to threaten her personal goals, has her own bank account.

This is a reeeeaaaaally specific sort of woman (my bolding). I wonder what woman in his life he (John MacArthur) is basing this off of, and why the hell he had to be a judgy bitch about it.

[feministxtian]

Guilty of almost all of what MacArthur wrote...except for the goals thing...my husband and kids are the reasons I worked so hard to achieve certain things. 

God I hate those idiots...they're all members of the "he man woman haters club" 

[Petronella]

I just don’t understand the point of view that equates financial ability with inevitable infidelity and divorce. That assumption only makes sense if their experience of marriage hinges exclusively on financial dependence...which certainly, for Lori, it does. I wonder if MacArthur assumes his wife would leave him if she were financially able. He’d probably scoff at that idea being articulated, but if he doesn’t think that then what’s his deal? He must think it at some level or he wouldn’t lump those disparate things together.

[SongRed7]

10 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

Ive never been around for the good old days like Lori talks about but I doubt that people were simply happier during those times.

Lori has no idea what reality was like.  She only can recall the "Hallmark movie of the week" version of yesteryear. 

 

[feministxtian]

6 hours ago, Petronella said:

I just don’t understand the point of view that equates financial ability with inevitable infidelity and divorce. That assumption only makes sense if their experience of marriage hinges exclusively on financial dependence...which certainly, for Lori, it does. I wonder if MacArthur assumes his wife would leave him if she were financially able. He’d probably scoff at that idea being articulated, but if he doesn’t think that then what’s his deal? He must think it at some level or he wouldn’t lump those disparate things together.

Financial independence means she won't put up with your shit. Think about it.

[SongRed7]

The way Lori goes on and on and on about living together before marriage in today's post leads me to believe someone close to her (niece, nephew, daughter of an acquaintance, friend of one of her kids) is doing that.   It seem more than the usual "advice" she gives. She blathers on and on like she's really trying to convince someone or send a message. She has some real person in mind no doubt.

 

[delphinium65]

She says today 'Once you move in with your boyfriend, he has little reason to ask you to marry him.'  That's funny, I lived with my husband before we got married, and guess whose idea it was to get married?  Yep, his.  And guess how much our relationship has changed since the wedding?  Very little. So what possible reason could he have had for wanting us to get married?  Tell me, Lori! 

'You are already there to provide all that he needs: cook, cleaner, maybe financial benefit, and someone to have sex with him at night.'  Hate to tell you, Lori my child, but I don't think my husband's reasons for proposing were for me to provide everything he needs.  And that last, 'someone to have sex with him at night'...maybe any warm female body would do for Ken, but my husband doesn't look at women as interchangeable sex dolls. 

'Why should he have to take on all the responsibilities of marriage (commitment, provider, protector) when he can easily get the benefits of marriage (sex and a woman who helps him) for free?' Gee, I dunno, maybe I should ask him and see what he says. I sure as heck haven't figured out why he wants me, but he's made it clear enough that I certainly can't doubt that he does!  

[feministxtian]

19 minutes ago, delphinium65 said:

She says today 'Once you move in with your boyfriend, he has little reason to ask you to marry him.'  That's funny, I lived with my husband before we got married, and guess whose idea it was to get married?  Yep, his.  And guess how much our relationship has changed since the wedding?  Very little. So what possible reason could he have had for wanting us to get married?  Tell me, Lori!

We lived together for about a year...then got married. It sure as hell wasn't my idea. 

Things have changed a lot, but it's been 21 years since we started living together...

[Petronella]

1 hour ago, feministxtian said:

Financial independence means she won't put up with your shit. Think about it.

Yes, that's what I was pointing out. No need to tell me I need to "think about it."

[kmachete14]

Lori's latest post is the only one I "agree" with. I have lived with my boyfriend, now fiancee, for two years, so no, I don't personally agree, but I do see how this article might help Christians. There is no denying that Christians that are actively following their faith ( for at least for 99% of denominations) shouldn't live with boyfriends -- after all, they shouldn't be having sex. Lori doesn't sound militantly crazy here like she usually does -- her arguments do have a semblance of truth. 

 

[Free Jana Duggar]

Yes, Lori's post today about not moving in with your boyfriend was reasonable. The tone wasn't judgy or negative. She didn't even put quotes around 'Christian".  I actually looked to see if it was a guest post. 

If she wrote like that more, she probably wouldn't get so much push back.

 

[cindyluvs24]

I happily cohabited in sin with my husband.  Best thing I ever did. 

[smittykins]

My husband and I lived together for a year before we got married, slept in the same bed, and still managed to wait until our wedding night.  Suck on THAT, Lori!

[Imrlgoddess]

Did anyone else notice Zsu Anderson commented on the living together post on Facebook??? I just caught it!  

Spoiler

 

 

[molecule]

1 hour ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

I actually looked to see if it was a guest post. 

Ha. So did I! Although many people will disagree with what she wrote, a whole lot of other Christian writers make the same argument.

I'm not worried, though. I'm sure Lori will be back to her judgmental posts soon.

[Mellowing With Age]

Had I lived with my husband before marriage, I would not have married him. We live like roommates now. I live my life and he lives his, so it works for us. 

[klein_roeschen]

I don't understand the obsession with living together without beeing married. It's so common here, that bride and groom where questioned when if they are really shure to get married before living together, it's seen as a test for a succesfull marriage. Also with having sex before marriage. The majority here would think you are nuts for waiting for the wedding night. But here living together without beeing married and also having kids are so much standart, that a few years ago more children where born to parents not married than to married parents. We even have a term for it now - life companion - Lebensgefährte

[SuperNova]

2 hours ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

Yes, Lori's post today about not moving in with your boyfriend was reasonable. The tone wasn't judgy or negative.

She tells women that a man won't want to marry them if they live together, that a breakup is "highly inevitable", that she should leave a man who doesn't ask her to marry him after a year especially is she's over 21. She tells women that it's sad to have "illegitimate" children. From my perspective, this sounds negative and judgy.