Lori Alexander 54: Embracing the Manosphere

[Briefly]

6 minutes ago, Koala said:

What's for dinner, guys?

I've taken the last couple of nights off.  Hot flashes are a bitch. ?

Last night we had the best Chinese take-away I've ever tasted.  Tonight my husband is grilling cheeseburgers.  My contribution?  3 pans of onion rings (which I tossed in the oven). Done.  

 

I started drinking a little soy milk on a daily basis, maybe a cup full.  It took a little while but it did seem to help the hot flashes.  I am past menopause now so I quit drinking it regularly, but it did seem to help a little.

We had Digorno's pizza tonight. Mr. Briefly was going to surprise me with a cooked pizza when I got home but I got home earlier than he expected me to and the pizza was not in the oven yet.  I did not complain!

[SongRed7]

Dinner was take out here tonight, too.  Italian. I had baked ziti with a side of steamed veggies (green beans and carrots). Everyone else got their favorites. I also had a glass of wine! 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Dinner is a ham-broccoli-carrot casserole and a Big Salad (TM) of orange and red tomatoes, cucumbers and radishes.

[Curious]

7 hours ago, Koala said:

  Quote

 I never pushed them to go to college. Our oldest one never went and the other one did, although if it were up to her, she would not have since all she wanted to do was be a wife and mother.

 

It's true that Alyssa never went to college, but she didn't sit around waiting for Mr. Right either.  She joined a ballet company and toured with them when she was 18.  I'd argue that this is pretty similar to getting an education.  

[pamplemousse]

Dinner here is a Boca veggie chicken patty on a bun with cheese and a side of red grapes.

[Frog99]

The 11 year old is at a friend’s house, husband is working late, so it was just me plus the 9 year old. We had sandwiches- neither of us were very hungry. 

I don’t understand why Rachel Hollis is considered a false teacher- she referenced her faith and upbringing- but I didn’t see her book as a biblical guide or something that could be used for bible study. 

And I don’t understand why someone can’t say they want to be a wife and mother, and not go to college or pursue a career. We are all different- and that’s the beauty of it. Own who you are without apologizing. I have friends who stay at home and friends that work. We support each other. I think the vast majority of those negative reactions Lori and her minions reference are made up or imagined. 

Alyssa’s instastory today showed her old ballet studio and referenced her instructor. She said that some of her body image issues came from her instructor. That’s certainly possible, but I found it interesting. I think Lori had just as much, if not more, to do with it. I also believe that Alyssa still has body image and food issues. In fact, it would appear Lori’s sisters and kids also have some food/body issues as well- makes you wonder what it was like growing up in their house. 

I am still rooting for Alyssa, but as a clinical social worker, I have grave concerns about her claims. They further stigmatize mental health, and they could lead someone to stop medication or avoid seeking treatment. 17 years ago, I worked with a paranoid schizophrenic who stopped taking medication after she started attending a church that denied the necessity of mental health treatment and medication. The consequences for her children were almost lethal. Fortunately her children were kept safe and she was stabilized fairly quickly. But working with her to process what happened was so sad. And knowing the part a church had in it made me angry (because of course none of those people were around to support her). 

[KDA]

Right now, I'm truly hating how Lori is telling everyone that when they take a step of faith and quit their jobs and come home, the Lord will provide! Newsflash: It doesn't work like that.

I am currently a SAHM. I was working, but I'm not any more. Stupidly, I decided to quit my job to focus on writing. But my father ended up in hospital at the other end of the country, I was unable to write, and I spent money we didn't have on travel expenses to be with him. We're relying solely on what hubby makes in our business.

It's Saturday, here. My hubby closes his shop in 2 minutes. He has made no sales all day. We are closed tomorrow. We will be open on Monday, which is usually the quietest day of the week and usually doesn't degenerate any/many sales. We will get *some* money on Tuesday, enough to buy groceries, at least. Tonight, I have no idea what we're going to eat. In the fridge we have half a bottle of milk, a tub of margarine, a loaf of bread, a measly amount of ham, a small amount of cheese, and some carrots. We also have a tin of spaghetti, half a dozen potatoes, some flour, and 4 eggs. That has to feed us today, tomorrow, and maybe Monday as well. We need food for the dog and cat as well. I can scrape together $5.20, which will buy the pets some food. Right now, I'm not quite sure how we are going to survive.

No Lori, the Lord DOES NOT provide for people who choose to quit their jobs. Please do not preach that He will, because it's just wrong. I can go without food for a couple of days. So can my husband. But I have 4 children, 2 of whom are growing teenagers, 2 are younger. They need to eat. Many, many others are in our situation all over the country and the world and stupid Lori is sitting there in her flash house, with plenty of nourishing food, a healthy bank account, and telling people to "have faith, God will provide". Utter bollocks. 

I came home. Admittedly, it was to write naughty books and not just keep the house (although I do that too,) but still.... I came home. Now we're all f*****g hungry.

[Koala]

@KDA I am so sorry you are going through a hard time, and I am really regretting the unfortunate timing of my "what's for dinner" post.  

I can't stand the thought of anyone being hungry... 

I am sending good thoughts your way, and this encouragement- please reach out to family (if you have any), or even close friends for help.  I know that if someone I was close to didn't have enough to eat, I would definitely want to know, so that I could offer groceries here and there until they got back on their feet.

I am not super creative in the kitchen, but a lot of FJ members are.  Maybe they can offer suggestions for what to make w/ the items you listed.  

Anyway...good thoughts for you guys.  Hang in there.

And let me add one more time- please reach out to friends and family for help, because NONE of you deserve to go hungry.  No one does...

[KDA]

@Koala Thank you so much for your kind thoughts. Honestly, my rant had nothing to do with your "what's for dinner" post. I was just really angry in general and for some reason, I chose to vent in here. I'm sorry. It's probably a really inappropriate place to do it.

We do have family to help us, so we're really lucky in that regard. We also have a mortgage-free house. Others in our situation are not so lucky.

I'm just really, really angry that Lori claims the Lord will provide when we "obey and come home". It's so, so wrong. 

[PennySycamore]

@KDA,  this is a fine place to rant about how unrealistic, awful, etc Lori is.  You can also find some threads for your rants on Are You There, FreeJinger.  

I'm in a closed FB group that was discussing a book written in the 80s about how mothers could manage to stay home with their kids by economizing and downsizing and so on.  Some of the women in the group were saying that they wish that a new edition would come out.   Well, I don't!  It may (or may not) have been okay for the times when it was written, but these aren't the 70s and 80s.  Times have changed.  I did post that I liked another book Of Cradles and Careers about shaping your job to fit children into it better because I found it more inspiring and less judgmental.  That book would work better today.  

I've done the stay-at-home mom thing and think it's a good path for some mothers, but not nearly all.

[Liza]

Spoiler

 

Spoiler

 Clearly, Lori becomes more and more unhinged as time goes by. 

1.  Now, she suggests a child going to see her molester daddy in prison?   

2.  And, of course, let's attack all Christian women as well ... thought it used to be only  women who were not "christian", Lori.

 

[klein_roeschen]

What if giving women the opportunity of working outside the home is the Lord's way of providing? Aren't they always saying that he works in mysterious ways?

Today I will make Quarkkeulchen, a dish made of cooked and mashed potatoes with quark cheese, formed into patties and than fried in the pan with plum preserves and vanilla sauce. And tomorrow potato gratin stuffed with veggies and chicken. And today I will make a peach tiramisu with Eierlikör (a delicious, thick, creamy, sweet liqueur with about 20 per cent alcohol I made a few weeks ago) for tomorrow when my best friend will be coming over and we are starting to watch the second season of the handmaid's tales.

[Melissa1977]

@KDA

I'm so sorry for your situation. I really hope your financial situation will improve soon. Send you a hug!

[KDA]

1 hour ago, klein_roeschen said:

What if giving women the opportunity of working outside the home is the Lord's way of providing? Aren't they always saying that he works in mysterious ways?

 

I think this is exactly right. I have had many different jobs throughout my married life, all of them basically fell into my lap, right when we needed them most. I definitely believe that was the Lord providing for us. 

Me not working now is nothing to do with being obedient to God's will (because I don't believe God does not want women to work, if they want/need to work) and everything to do with focusing on a new career path for me. We had a plan... but sadly, life doesn't always go to plan.  Of course, Lori would say we're flat broke right now because we're not trusting the Lord but actually, we kinda are. We always have. And we haven't starved yet (thanks to generous family and friends who have helped us out both today and in the past). 

Hubby's business will pick up again soon - that's the nature of retail. We've had this shop long enough now to know how it goes. And if I need to, I will find work again. But I'm not just going to stay home and do nothing and let my family starve because Lori thinks God will magically provide for us (by raining money out of the sky, maybe?) if I do.

 

@Melissa1977 - Thank you! Hugs are appreciated  I am very confident that our financial situation will improve soon.

[onemama]

3 hours ago, klein_roeschen said:

What if giving women the opportunity of working outside the home is the Lord's way of providing? Aren't they always saying that he works in mysterious ways?

Exactly!  I asked God to provide for us at a time when my husband lost his job and we both had to go to the job center and start applying.  Lori doesn't seem to know that getting outside help from the government means that you have to do things their way, and their way means that both parents must start actively seeking employment.  

2 hours ago, KDA said:

I have had many different jobs throughout my married life, all of them basically fell into my lap, right when we needed them most. I definitely believe that was the Lord providing for us. 

I can say that about my current job. I asked for God's provision and he gave me a career counselor who chased me down the hall one day with a brilliant idea: forget about waitressing, go for an early morning job!  I had a job within weeks. It's hard in the winter but I don't have to deal with traffic, the stress of getting us all out of the house on time or having to call in sick whenever one of my kids comes down with something. I'm there for them when they need me and I'm earning some well-needed money.  I choose to see that as God's provision.  

 

2 hours ago, KDA said:

sadly, life doesn't always go to plan.  Of course, Lori would say we're flat broke right now because we're not trusting the Lord but actually, we kinda are. We always have. And we haven't starved yet (thanks to generous family and friends who have helped us out both today and in the past). 

I wish Lori's followers could see this and take it to heart.  Trusting God doesn't always look the same.  A hug from me too!

[SongRed7]

Lori must not have gotten enough likes this week.  Get out your seat belts! This one is going to be bad!  Get out the popcorn!  

Holy f***

[SweetLaurel]

@KDA   Big hug to you.  Lori banned me because I said as a widow, I kept waiting for God to write a check for the mortgage and to feed the kids - and when he didn't - I went to work.   Blasphemy!!!   Well, I've always worked over the course of my marriage because the husband wouldn't have it any other way (more blasphemy!!) and had quit my last job to build one of my businesses just a couple weeks before he unexpectedly passed - bad decision.    Over the last 7 years, I've worked retail, and built two businesses (yay to us naughty book writers!) and raised the kids (again! I didn't loath them or hate God and His Perfect Ways, I did what needed done.)  This past Jan I put both my folks in assisted living when their health failed at the same time, cleaned their house out alone, and lost my dad.   Writing?  LOL!  Not had a book out since Feb.   Yeah - I understand what you are saying.   

Hit the food banks. That is what they are there for.  You can donate when things settle down for you.  Glad you have a roof over your head - but don't be too proud to accept help.   Call your state's version of SNAP (food stamps) and see if you qualify.   It sure can't hurt to ask.   Another big hug, just because.    

[wallysmommy]

@KDAIf you can, stick with the writing career if that's your dream.  My mom wrote and submitted to publishing houses for 7 or 8 years before becoming published.  She got an agent, and wrote a book targeted at a new line Berkley was publishing.  She published 13 books (historical and contemporary romance) after that.  She didn't make a lot of money, but she was proud of her success.  She had been laid off from her job, and was writing.  She was ready to quit because of the rejection letters.  My dad bought her a new, fancy laser printer (back in the 90's you know what those cost).  When she said she was quitting, he said "get in there and finish that book."  It was the first one she sold to a publisher.  Long story, but my message is keep persevering if that's your dream.  BTW, she was married to an Assembly of God minister.  No hiding she wrote "trashy" novels when a story appeared on the front page of the lifestyle section of the newspaper with her picture and an enlarged version of her book's cover.  To her, God's "perfect" way was that she follow her dream.  Picture hanging with your mom at bookstores while she signs copies of this book.

Lork knows nothing of which she speaks.  She is miserable old fishwife.  This is why my alter ego, Misty Shagella, wrote to her last week that her advice was callous and cavalier.  (I had to use a fake profile because she blocked the real me).  She's never missed a meal.  She never has to count change to buy enough food to feed her children.  She criticizes Ken for eating fast food instead of being grateful they have the means to buy junk food (steak is junk food, BTW).  She's never had to deal with an alcoholic husband who had no job when she was 22 with a 2 year old and a newborn.  

I used lots of words, hopefully more coherently than Lori might, to say, this is a place to vent when you are frustrated, offer support when you are hurting, and and to sometimes have a good laugh.  We are irreverent, and that's okay.    We stray off topic, and we talk about all kinds of crazy things.  It's a good place to hang out.

 

[teachergirl]

Didn't one of her sons switch from law to dental school? My sister who works for an association of dentists says it it not uncommon for new dentists to have upwards of 200-300.000 in student loan debt. Are we to assume that since it's the GM son that the rant about college debt does not apply to them? Is it even feasible that they helped him with some of that debt?  My point is that at some point his wife may need to work when the reality of how much a new dentist makes versus how much that student loan payment is comes to a head... Lori is a mindless privileged twit.

[crawfishgirl]

I remember something about Ken helping his son buy into that dental practice, and maybe even Ken is a part owner?  I think that Ken knew the retiring dentist and helped him get started.  I'd be surprised if he and Lori didn't pay for most of that education.

[teachergirl]

is he a practicing dentist at this point or still in school? I just cannot see them paying a high six figures for one of their kids.

 

[Briefly]

5 hours ago, klein_roeschen said:

What if giving women the opportunity of working outside the home is the Lord's way of providing? Aren't they always saying that he works in mysterious ways?

That's exactly what my answer is if someone tells me I should have stayed home.  We need to eat, have clothing and a roof over our heads.  I've always worked, except for just over a year when we moved from Texas to Oklahoma and our daughter was young.  She was 10 months when we moved and I went back to work right around her 2nd birthday.  I would not trade that year for anything, we wish we could have done that longer but it wasn't possible. And we were ok with that because we knew we needed me to work.  Then when Mr. Briefly's job was eliminated, we were doubly glad that I was working already.  We do think God provides for us.  He provides food & our mortgage through my paycheck.

[crawfishgirl]

I googled it, and this appears to be his practice's website:  https://www.bartlettalexander.com/

Quote

Dr. Steven Alexander is native of sunny Southern California, where he grew up in a family that was surrounded by many orthodontists as family friends. Steven confirmed in his mind that orthodontics would be his profession at age eleven as he traveled with his father around Europe with a number of famous orthodontists as they lectured and spent the evenings talking about how beautifully aligned teeth can make a true difference in a life.

This is from his son's dental website.  Ken really shouldn't have claimed that he didn't go to Europe - he even took his young son.  Sounds like he turned it into a vacation for his family....  or at least one member of it.

[SweetLaurel]

50 minutes ago, wallysmommy said:

She published 13 books (historical and contemporary romance) after that.  She didn't make a lot of money, but she was proud of her success

OH - I read that book!   Yay your mom!  And yeah, I'm dating a guy now who thinks because I have 14 books published I'm rolling in it.  LOL!   Ummm - very few authors make much - right, @KDA?  But we love it.   And there is always hope that one day we will be be Nora or Stephen or James.    Gotta keep plugging.   And working that second or third job in the meantime. 

And I'm firmly in the path of 'if you are on your roof and God sends you a boat and a helicopter - take one!'  If you are capable of working, take the job!   Lori is an entitled ass who has no clue how real life is for most people.  

[wallysmommy]

4 minutes ago, SweetLaurel said:

OH - I read that book!   Yay your mom!  And yeah, I'm dating a guy now who thinks because I have 14 books published I'm rolling in it.  LOL!   Ummm - very few authors make much - right, @KDA?  But we love it.   And there is always hope that one day we will be be Nora or Stephen or James.    Gotta keep plugging.   And working that second or third job in the meantime. 

And I'm firmly in the path of 'if you are on your roof and God sends you a boat and a helicopter - take one!'  If you are capable of working, take the job!   Lori is an entitled ass who has no clue how real life is for most people.  

My mom didn't get much backing from her publisher because she was mid-list.  Writing is tough, and you have to be prepared to deal with a lot of rejection.  Which genre are you writing?  

I almost used the same roof/boat/helicopter story as an example!  Great minds think alike.