Lori Alexander 54: Embracing the Manosphere

[Pink Muffin]

Oh, sweetie, that´s because the godly mentor has paid money to boost her posts. She loves when she goes viral 

I wish I could go over there and tell Margaret the reason, but I can´t - I´m banned 

[wild little fox]

When I was a young adult and a Christian I lived in sin with my boyfriend/fiance. Best decision I ever made in my young life because I was all ga-ga in love with love. Once I realized who he really was I kicked his ass out of my apartment. 

 

[klein_roeschen]

11 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

She tells women that a man won't want to marry them if they live together, that a breakup is "highly inevitable", that she should leave a man who doesn't ask her to marry him after a year especially is she's over 21. She tells women that it's sad to have "illegitimate" children. From my perspective, this sounds negative and judgy.

Did a quick mental count of the people I know. My boss lives together with his girlfriend, she's also our coworker and her 2 kids from her former marriage. Coworker 2 met her husband 16 years ago and they married a year after their first child was born, the kid is now 9. Coworker 3 is together with her boyfriend for 23 years, they have a teen and a house together, without marriage. 2 former coworkers of mine got married more than a year after their first kids where born, also lived together even before the kids came along. Others are living together with or without kids. The only couple I know who married before kids had to do it, because she was unemployed and living together and he earned to much and she lost her welfare, wich included her healthcare and the easiest and cheapest solution was marriage.

[AuntKrazy]

I think what fundies like Lori fail to appreciate is that a person does not have to be a Christian to value marriage as a commitment.  Just like a person does not have to be a Christian to have a loving marriage and family.  Just like a woman does not have to be at home all the freaking time to have a neat house.  

A lot of people who have different values than I do live together before marriage because of the value they have of marriage.  No one goes into a marriage thinking, "this is my starter husband, I think I'll trade up in a couple of years." - which for some reason, the fundies seem to think non-fundies cavalierly do.

 

 

[Lgirlrocks]

I am currently living with my boyfriend. While I understand her post, I grew up in a messianic Jewish household, i don’t agree with it. There are both negatives and positives with living/ not living together before marriage. You have to do what works for you. As for getting the cow for free, that’s now how the bf sees it. We both take care of each other and work outside of the home. He values me for more than my cooking and cleaning skills and I value him for more than his paycheck. Neither of us wanted to get married when we started dating. Marriage is something that I decided I want, decided after he told me he loved me. I’m happy the way things are for now. 

[Alisamer]

I'm Christian. And there's NO WAY I'm going to marry someone, ever, without at least going on a long vacation with him first. And I'd prefer living together first, personally. Make sure you can stand sharing a house with the person before committing to them forever. 

I'm not anti-sex before marriage, either. That made sense in biblical times, when there was little to no knowledge about STDs, women and children were property, and birth control ranged from nonexistent to iffy, with a side of danger. I think times are different enough now that each person must decide for themselves how they feel about that. I go by the overarching theme, not the letter.

[ladyicantxplain]

27 minutes ago, Pink Muffin said:

Oh, sweetie, that´s because the godly mentor has paid money to boost her posts. She loves when she goes viral 

I wish I could go over there and tell Margaret the reason, but I can´t - I´m banned 

Margaret is clueless.  This is a public blog on facebook, not "her community".  These are NOT real relationships!  This is a place where, IF Margaret had a clue, SHE COULD EVANGELIZE others and bring them to the love of God and the power of God.  Margaret has chosen a lesser response.  Margaret doesn't understand it is not what goes on around us that "contaminates" us, but what is inside that defiles.

I really feel terribly sorry for Margaret.  She needs the very Jesus she thinks she already has.

[delphinium65]

13 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

As for getting the cow for free...

And why buy the whole pig for a little bit of sausage?  

[wild little fox]

No, working 50-60 hours a week isn't healthy. What we need to concentrate on is better labor laws to protect workers and pay a living wage. Not force women to stay home. If they really were for families to be happy and successful, and not for the subjugation of women and girls, this is where their focus should be fixed! 

[unsafetydancer]

@wild little fox YES! To everything you just said.

[lilwriter85]

19 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

At 25 I very rarely use checks, just for rent really. But isn't having three checks not cashed bad for the accounting of a business? I remember I lost a paycheck once and paid to replace it. I've just learned not to mess around with not cashing checks. 

Ive never been around for the good old days like Lori talks about but I doubt that people were simply happier during those times. Depression, untreated disease and war, those simpler times just meant people died quicker. Spouses still cheated and beat on each other, children still abused, unchecked sexual assault with no consequences..... 

I was thinking that too. My father was an accountant for several years at the company he worked for before he moved to HR. He had tons of stories about having issues trying to close accounts because some people didn't cash or deposit their checks. 

[lilwriter85]

On 9/17/2018 at 1:02 PM, SongRed7 said:

100%  I read the post and I HATE HATE HATE how she thinks one person stands for all of us women/moms who choose/MUST work to support our families. What a joke!  My life is NOTHING like that at all.   And then the commenters. I hate the one who said she had "three uncashed paychecks" in her purse and questioned herself why she was working!  HAHA....like that happens. Almost every woman I know works full or part time because they absolutely need the money.  I can't imagine having one uncashed paycheck in my purse, let alone three.  In fact, most of them are spent even before they are cashed (direct deposited)...

she really does believe this nonsense I'm sure. 

 

A lot of the women I know who work do it because they need money.  However, I know several women who could live comfortably on their spouses' salaries(a few have kids) - but they choose to work because they want to have extra financial security for their golden years.  I understand that kind of motivation.

I had several elderly female relatives who didn't work and even though their husbands had pensions, retirement funds, and received SS sometimes it wasn't enough when health issues came up and they didn't have the money for home health care services or nursing homes. Many women just don't want to end up in poverty in their golden years.

Several months back, a woman commented to Lori and said the reason she worked was for a pension. Lori didn't respond to her. We know that Lori was had health issues, but she doesn't seem to worry about things might get worse as she ages. Health issues can screw up finances. 

There are many women with health issues who are out working so they can purchase medications or additional health care services. I would love to see Lori and her fangirls try to tell my diabetic friend to quit her job even though my friend puts some of her paychecks towards her meds, test strips, and foods that are catered towards diabetics. 

[wallysmommy]

What Lori also fails to recognize is often the husband's pension is only for his lifetime.  That's what happened with my mom.  Her income was cut by 2/3 when my dad died (SS plus pension).  Fortunately, she had worked for 22 years for a large oil company and had her own IRA,, plus lots of stock she purchased through ESOP.  I would laugh, and laugh, and laugh if Ken died and she found out she had nothing because he is lord and master over the money and he spent it all on some vice like gambling.  Schadenfreude in the highest!

Stashing paychecks -- after 7 years in Louisiana they become unclaimed property and the money ends up in the state slush fund unless it's claimed.  Makes you wonder how many paychecks this Diana person donated to her state because of her stupidity.

Sometimes I wish I could just post on Lori's FB the ever so juvenile response of "bite me."

[usmcmom]

Spoiler

 

The Kindergarten teacher even looks a bit like Lori. 

And, so help me, if Lori shares this video she better give me credit for it AND unblock me so I can comment. 

[Briefly]

I lived with Mr Briefly before we got married the first time.  When we got back together, we moved in together again before we got married again.  I got pregnant during that time, so maybe the reason we never conceived before was because we were married legally?  (Just joking!)  I actually would have been happy not go get married again but just to stay living together.  But Mr. Briefly wanted to so I agreed.  I was 6 weeks pregnant at the time.  Obviously, the cow/milk thing did not apply in our case!  Although I found out later that my mom told people we got married 8 weeks before we did, in case they did the math on the 6 weeks pregnant thing.  I didn't get mad at her, though.

[feministxtian]

1 hour ago, lilwriter85 said:

There are many women with health issues who are out working so they can purchase medications or additional health care services

That's pretty much one big reason I work...medical insurance. Fortunately, I was able to get the Cadillac plan since I only have to cover me on the medical. I have hub on the dental. I'm just chilling until he turns 60 and I can get on Tricare for about 20% of what I pay now. I may retire then...we'll see. I also have ESOP stocks sitting, a percentage of my X's pension (don't mouth off to the judge), a pension from one of my jobs and SS. He'll have his reserve retirement, SSDI (until 65), and pension from his previous civilian job. 

We should be just fine...even if (God forbid) something happens to him, he elected survivor's benefits for everything and so did I. 

[zee_four]

On 9/17/2018 at 12:44 PM, SuperNova said:

The opening paragraph to today's blog, "Were old-fashioned women happier?":

  Reveal hidden contents

There is an interesting article in the Daily Mail about a woman who just turned 60 years old and compared herself to her mother back when she turned 60 years old. This woman, Liz Jones, is beautiful and puts me to shame (since I just turned 60 years old) if we were measuring only by appearance. She is in perfect shape and looks amazing for her age but at what cost? (She has spent a TON of money on herself to look this way!)

So Lori is so very obviously jealous of Liz Jones. I clicked the link and she really does look great at 60, actually she looks great, period. So of course Lori has to take her down a few notches because Lori herself looks like a leather handbag and can't stand that Liz looks fabulous.

Besides looking fabulous though, Liz is totally neurotic. She rambles on and on about all the beauty routines that her mother skipped out on, what her mother ate, how she walked, her false teeth, what she wore (a home sewn shift, gasp!). It passes the point of comparing herself to her mom at 60 and obviously shows the root of her insecurity. Cringy at best and I can see why Lori picked this article.

Both Lori and Liz miss the mark. You don't have to be the hardlining stay at home judgy bitch and you don't have to be a career focused and image obsessed woman. These two are the bookends of the spectrum. As an aside, I'm really starting to hate Lori's commenter, A Lady Of Reason. She's sexist, racist, and classist:

"Since they were able to be free to be women, and not a male copy, then probably! I adore the beautiful dresses they wore, even working class girls!"

Oh that Lady of Reason girl is just like all the college girls who have gone far right to stay edgy.

 

What she doesn't understand is Lori thinks only "mature" Christian ladies are allowed to give advice, shs has posted about to regularly (more to stoke her ego really) she doesn't even think young or middle aged mothers should be sharing, they're all committing the sin of pride or something. Anyway Privileged Neo Con Girl is barking up the wrong tree, I think she just wants readers, aka a.ttention and validation.

[Curious]

On 9/16/2018 at 1:52 PM, lilwriter85 said:

Lori mentioned a few times that he was attending the cheapest dental school in the country

I do a cursory look at what school(s) my medical providers have gone to.  I check what internships they did, what they specialize in, etc.  It's all info that's really easy to find online nowadays.   I've not gone to someone due to the school(s) they went to, but I can see circumstances where it might influence my decision in some way(s).

I would definitely NOT go around advertising that I went to the cheapest dental school and I'd be rather annoyed if my parents/in-laws thought that was a great selling point and talked about it all the time.

I want to play what's for dinner tonight since I'm having @Koala's Delicious Pan Roasted Veggies(tm) this evening.  My blood sugar has been a bit wonky lately so I'm making an effort to watch my diet closer and also have more than 1 meat-free day per week.

So tonight my husband made me (yes that's right Lori, my husband cooks for me.  No week old salads for this girl!) a big plate of broccoli, cauliflower, baby taters, green pepper, zucchini, yellow squash, snap peas and mushrooms.  They are tossed in EVOO and red pepper flakes prior to being baked.  

[CatholicLite]

I mean I guess the article "makes sense" for the demographic she's trying to reach, but she could be less judgmental in her phrasing. Of course, the Bible wants you to save sex for marriage, but.... this article seems to imply that women are good for little more than sex for a man, and if/when they lose their virginity to their boyfriend hellfire, etc will rain down upon them and now the boyfriend has an excuse to leave them. 

This whole quote is so demeaning and disgusting. If this is what a woman's relationship is like to her boyfriend, she needs to RUN. No woman is a doormat made exclusively to serve a man. Gross.

Quote

You are already there to provide all that he needs: cook, cleaner, maybe financial benefit, and someone to have sex with him at night. Why should he have to take on all the responsibilities of marriage (commitment, provider, protector) when he can easily get the benefits of marriage (sex and a woman who helps him) for free?

Healthy relationships where boyfriend and girlfriend, etc move in together are not like this. Lori doesn't know the facts of what real, committed relationships are like in this day and age. This might happen in some exclusive circumstances, but for most Christian millenials, I think not.

[feministxtian]

If its a committed relationship is a commitment without the damn piece of paper. Honestly, the only reason we got the damn piece of paper was for the military thing. Domestic partnerships don't count there. 

Marriage was just legalities, the commitment was already there. My daughter and her fiance have lived together for about 3 years now, they bought a house together...who the hell needs a piece of paper when you both sign your lives away with a mortgage????

[Free Jana Duggar]

Send me to the prayer closet. I commented on Lori's blog post to tell her she actually sounded decent today.

I explained that if she wrote more posts with that tone, people might be more willing to listen.  

So what did she do? She edited my comment to show only the positive side.

[Sarah92]

Yeah I don't date a guy just to cook, clean, and have sex with him. There's a couple of things I watch for when when dating

1. Can he do chores? 

2. Can he cook himself meals?

3. Is he willing to change a diaper?

4. How does he react if I mention my period?

5. Does he use maleness as an excuse for behavior? 

Etc. 

basically I have no desire to marry a man-child. I won't have children with a man who won't help with raising them. 

[livinglongerthanyou]

12 hours ago, ladyicantxplain said:

Margaret is clueless.  This is a public blog on facebook, not "her community".  These are NOT real relationships!  This is a place where, IF Margaret had a clue, SHE COULD EVANGELIZE others and bring them to the love of God and the power of God.  Margaret has chosen a lesser response.  Margaret doesn't understand it is not what goes on around us that "contaminates" us, but what is inside that defiles.

I really feel terribly sorry for Margaret.  She needs the very Jesus she thinks she already has.

Margaret isn't clueless. Margaret is a ginormous bitch. She actually wrote that she's too nice to the non-Christians who visit TTW. 

[Melissa1977]

13 hours ago, klein_roeschen said:

I don't understand the obsession with living together without beeing married. It's so common here, that bride and groom where questioned when if they are really shure to get married before living together, it's seen as a test for a succesfull marriage. Also with having sex before marriage. The majority here would think you are nuts for waiting for the wedding night. But here living together without beeing married and also having kids are so much standart, that a few years ago more children where born to parents not married than to married parents. We even have a term for it now - life companion - Lebensgefährte

Same here. Waiting till wedding night to have sex, or marrying without a previous cohabitation is seen a bit weird. Some people have fancy weddings, others just little celebration or only a formal signature in the town hall. Some marry before having children, others wait for the children to be born and throw a big party to celebrate the wedding as a family. Others never marry and many of them have a better relationship than the holier-than-you fundies we discuss here.  What fundies do not understand is that there is not such thing as a right model of family.

[Momto2Princesses]

Looks like lazy Lori used some of Ken's hard earned money to boost another post. No way she magically racked in over 400 comments, when her other posts at best have less than 100.