Josie and Kelton 2: Kelton Gets His Happily Ever After

[picklepizzas]

I love the attempted typing of josies’ look and dress but something is just so off about the top front. I don’t think it’s necessarily that she inserted a modesty panel but it might be that they customized how the white part underneath fit, and it looks weird behind the lace. Particularly the parts near her collarbone where the lace comes up high. 

But generally I love the whole fairy wood nymph vibe. I normally dislike mismatched bridesmaid dresses but hers are really working for me and the flower girl dresses are ridiculously adorable. The bouquets are super nice and on theme but I did laugh out loud at a picture Lawson posted where Josie is holding hers - it’s like half her size. She should have sized it down a bit in acknowledgment of her own small size imo but whatever, it fit her theme nicely. 

In other news, all of Zoolander’s photos from this weekend make me want to barf, esp that one with Kelly. His model expressions are more ridiculous than Jordan from the bachelor. 

[elliha]

I like the dress from the side, it is OK from the front. I like the flowery ties. I actually like both the flowers in her hand and in her hair. I don't know, but I am also the leafy type so they spoke to me. I thought some of the bridesmaids' dresses were too baggy and too sparkly but they were no disaster. I hate to say it but Tory looks exactly like one of my friends who had a horrible pregancy that ended in an emergency caesarian and a long stay in the hospital for the kid and that is all I can think of when I see her. I know she isn't actually my friend but it is hard to get that out of my head. I really hope she doesn't have to go through that. 

[PurpleCats]

Carlin must tan frequently (as in tanning bed tan).  Not modest. /s

[sleepy_doggos]

The apple shaped flowers are pincushion proteas. I've heard they are native in South Africa.
Very trendy, the edgy florist I used to work for loved them. She probably hates them now that they're trendy! Lol

[artdecades]

14 hours ago, JoylessAnna said:

Lawson shared video footage of the rehearsal in his story. As the bridal party’s lining up, the future Mr. and Mrs. Fundie Zoolander can be found in their natural habitat, LMAO. 

These two really know how to find the camera. Everyone is looking elsewhere and those two honed right in on the lens.

[TeaELSee]

18 hours ago, ShesCrafty said:

And something about Kelton just creeps me the fuck out. He oozes smugness from every pore but there’s something else I can’t quite put my finger on

I agree, he strikes me as someone that is trying to appear so earnest while being smug. It’s hard to put my finger on it, but he doesn’t seem sincere to me. I get a strong Eddie Haskell vibe from him. He is my least favorite of the spouses so far.

[QuiverDance]

Too hot for an outdoor wedding. All the pics are hot mess! I learned this lesson the hard way myself. 

[Ausje]

20 hours ago, ShesCrafty said:

And something about Kelton just creeps me the fuck out. He oozes smugness from every pore but there’s something else I can’t quite put my finger on. It just makes me want to knock him down a peg or two. Or throw a martini in his face, not that the little douchebag is worth wasting good gin on. 

To me he always looks as though he's making a face that he's been told is a smile, rather than actually smiling. It makes him look insincere on some photos and plain creepy on others.

[formergothardite]

The disturbing courtship story makes me think that he is more likely to be a Nathan than a Chad. 

[miss_batson]

???

Spoiler

 

 

[Tangy Bee]

Josie has a 70's Farrah Fawcett vibe going on. Fall wedding but not fall weather. Everyone looks so pink and flushed. All I can think about is I hope they took a shower before jumping straight into sweet fellowship. Or at least showered together. Last outdoor, summer  wedding I attended will probably be my last. Sweat soaked dress and undies. Did not feel comfortable hugging. Fixed a plate to go and left. Don't know how Kelly or any of the older ladies survived the heat yesterday.

[HarleyQuinn]

Venturing into BEC territory but the lace detail looks really cheap when you see it up close like that. 

[kmachete14]

I watch the show every week but unlike Bobby moving into the camper they haven't made a storyline yet about Josie and Kelton's living arrangements. Do we know where they will be living as a married couple? 

[CreationMuseumSeasonPass]

My cousin got married in July a couple of years ago. It was an outdoor reception at an apple orchard, under a big white tent. It was also 100 degrees out. Just imagine all that body heat in the middle of an Iowa summer, under a tent, all crammed together. By the end of the night, after hours of drinking and dancing, I took a full pitcher of water and just dumped it over my head. You honestly couldn't tell the difference, before and after. That's how gross and sweaty I was.

[AtlanticTug]

The front of the dress above the waist is horrible. Like really off-putting and I don't even know why. Almost like there is a weirdly sewn-in bodysuit under? I don't mind the rest of the dress but that front panel is totally disqualifying.

She looks like she is 14. Next year she'll have a baby. What a life.

[mstee]

12 hours ago, Seculardaisy said:

A fun game to play with these fundie couples is how many times does the woman appear in photos alone or take photos of things that interest ONLY her and don’t involve her spouse.

The answer is almost never.

Because the life of a fundie woman should revolve almost entirely around the man in her orbit and his interests.

Sorry if I’m being BEC but I’m feeling extra cranky towards the patriarchy today.

I’m surprised at how much underboob Kelton got to touch in those pics prior to marriage. Scandalous. 

[AliceInFundyland]

Also - do NOT like the font activity happening in this set of photos. It clashes with the vibe.  

[Bazinga]

11 hours ago, BunnyBee said:

Congratulations to Josie and Jack Nicholson, hopefully they wont have too many children since he will be spending most of his time fighting Batman and terrorizing Gotham. 

Also I thought the red flowers were apples too ?

Look at Evan's hands on Carlin. That's not even on her back! Hot damn!

[candygirl200413]

Yes, I think I like the dress I thought someone said that day it was a high of 80? I'm real surprise that she wanted that. 

 

[scoutsadie]

1 hour ago, Bazinga said:

Look at Evan's hands on Carlin. That's not even on her back! Hot damn!

Ha ha - you beat me to it; was going to point out the same.

[DarkAnts]

Watching the engagement episode. You do not need a 4 wheeler to see the sights at Arches National Park. There are paved roads all over the park. You may have to hike a little more you save a lot of money.

[elliha]

How can it be worse to kiss than to touch someone's boobs or ass? Fundie logic that I don't get. The couples even in pictures are very close to each other, they obviously touch reasonably sexual parts of each other but not kissing before marriage is somehow modest. To be honest, I would much rather tell people to kiss than to grope each other if I would go about teaching people about modesty when being a couple (I don't tell people that, as long as I don't have to see them have sex or something). I see nothing wrong with deciding to save sex until marriage but I don't get the smugness over no kissing if you are touching each other in the open. I much prefer Muslim modesty in that case that says no touching before marriage and no touching of married couples in public (some think that married people can hold hands or give each other a quick hug but it should be avoided to avoid stirring lust in others). To me that is more consistent and reasonable if you do believe that people are constantly at risk of falling victim to their own lusts (which I don't but both conservative Muslims and Christians often do believe).

[miss_batson]

Ashley at the wedding. She really does look good. 

And sweet Jesus, these flowers is almoust bigger than these girls ??

[elliha]

36 minutes ago, miss_batson said:

Ashley at the wedding. She really does look good. 

And sweet Jesus, these flowers is almoust bigger than these girls ??

Too bad they didn't do the pink dress of the girl next to Whitney as the brides maids' dresses, it would have looked awesome with the flowers in the bouquet. 

[freethemall]

3 hours ago, elliha said:

Too bad they didn't do the pink dress of the girl next to Whitney as the brides maids' dresses, it would have looked awesome with the flowers in the bouquet. 

I generally would have loved if she did a dusky pink + burgundy theme, that would've looked so pretty!