Josie and Kelton 2: Kelton Gets His Happily Ever After

[Iamtheway]

1 hour ago, Kangaroo said:

Either Addie or Ellie (I'm not sure who is who) is missing from the sibling photo. Seems a bit strange that one of the younger kids would be missing? 

I think it’s Ellie. And yes, I did go in to the Bates family blog and went through all the kids in order to see who was missing. 

1 hour ago, Seculardaisy said:

I wonder if the person with the original “josiebalka” handle is a weird fan. There are so many fake creepy Bates IGs out there. That would be annoying.

Any sensible (and I use that word very loosely) fundie maiden should register their new instagram name before they announced their courtship publicly. 

And the role play accounts creeps me out. 

[Vivi_music]

I must not be suited for a snark board... 'cause I pretty much have no opinion on the wedding. The dress is fine to me, so is the greenery grown and I don't mind the bridesmaid dresses. I remember the first weddings, with those t-shirt dresses, or the dresses with ''modesty panels'' added just to be ''holier than thou'' (like Erin's). Their was nothing pinteresty about that. So in all fairness, they have certainly up their game. For me now, they pretty much look like normal ''mainstream'' weddings. I certainly wouldn't know it was a fundie wedding if I didn't know the Bates.

The one thing I can snark about is indeed the fact she looks like a childbride. I hope she's happy. But man! They are young.

And REALLY, I know in their world it is normal to marry young. I know she is not even the youngest fundie bride. I know it would never be even fathomable to see one of them live with ther partner before mariage. I know mariage is the only way for fundie kidults to finally experience freedom. I know all of that. I've been following the fundies for more than 10 years.... and for some reasons it still makes me made that the cult limits their option in life.

 

 

 

[SassyPants]

The hair...and she's a hairdresser, right???? I think the hair and crown are the worst part of the entire affair.

[sleepy_doggos]

I don't think it's really fair to make child bride comments based on her size. Her age, yes, but women come in all shapes and sizes, even extra small! She may not be ready for marriage for all we know but it's not due to how tiny or large her frame is.

 

ETA: this was not directed at anyone in particular. Just saw this sentiment echoed a couple times within the thread.

[Illmarryyoujana]

This wedding seems more snarked on than any of the rest, despite it seeming like she was more able to make her own choices than her sisters and definitely more than her Duggar counterparts. The gown was gorgeous, I’m still searching for the apparently heinous modesty panel. The bridesmaids dresses were quite lovely as well. I’m a fan of them not being the exact same as each other’s. I love her hair—that it was down and casual, in addition to the wreath.  The only thing that wasn’t my taste, as an event florist, were the bouquets. The greenery was absolutely delightful, but just a bit much. But again, that’s just me personally and not what I would give to a client on their wedding day. The venue though was absolutely fantastic, I loved the ring of flowers at the alter. I’m glad it seems she got the wedding she wanted and had many personal touches to her day. 

 

ETA — the bouquets may have looked quite lovely in person and simply didn’t photograph well. 

[Mudgie]

I hope her wedding was everything she wished it to be and brings her joy and wonderful memories for many years to come and I say that with complete sincerity.

I will say two things, Josie needs to seriously lighten up on the highlights. Blonder isn't necessarily better.

I think her dress and the bridesmaids dresses are very reminiscent of 1970's country music singers.

[Vivi_music]

21 minutes ago, sleepy_doggos said:

I don't think it's really fair to make child bride comments based on her size. Her age, yes, but women come in all shapes and sizes, even extra small! She may not be ready for marriage for all we know but it's not due to how tiny or large her frame is.

I agree maybe childbride was a bit too far in my previous post. She is naturally petite which is just how she is.

[freethemall]

7 hours ago, eleanora3 said:

Some more pics. The dress looks better when you can't see all the busy-ness up close. 

I don't know, from afar the top just looks boring because the white modesty panel they added in washes out all the embroidery detail. And again, that weird V at her neck drives me crazy every time I look at it.

[JoylessAnna]

Lawson shared video footage of the rehearsal in his story. As the bridal party’s lining up, the future Mr. and Mrs. Fundie Zoolander can be found in their natural habitat, LMAO. 

[VelociRapture]

Just a quick shout out to the US Senate for sending the Balkas the ultimate wedding gift of a conservative majority Supreme Court. I’m sure Kelton*, who has been vocal about supporting Trump, will be thrilled by the confirmation of Brett “I LIKE BEER AND DID NOT ASSAULT THAT MEAN DOCTOR LADY!” Kavanaugh. 

*As we all know, Josie’s thoughts and opinions don’t matter because patriarchal society bullshit. 

[metheglyn]

53 minutes ago, JoylessAnna said:

Lawson shared video footage of the rehearsal in his story. As the bridal party’s lining up, the future Mr. and Mrs. Fundie Zoolander can be found in their natural habitat, LMAO. 

I just watched the Instastory and Evan's holding out his phone for them to mug at, so they're definitely playing it up duckface, cheesy grin, and all. They haven't instagrammed it themselves, though, so they've probably got a whole stockpile of pics of themselves floating around that they *aren't* sharing with the world above and beyond the ones they *are*.

[Dandruff]

5 hours ago, ShesCrafty said:

And something about Kelton just creeps me the fuck out. He oozes smugness from every pore but there’s something else I can’t quite put my finger on. It just makes me want to knock him down a peg or two. Or throw a martini in his face, not that the little douchebag is worth wasting good gin on. 

He reminds me of some guys I knew in college who joined the Young Republicans.  They'd come back from meetings completely douched out - smug, arrogant, and validated - and it would last a day or two before they'd chill.  I figure Kelton and his comrades reinforce each other's opinions and behaviors daily vs. weekly or monthly, and it's further supported by pretty much everyone else he knows and respects.

I think his hair at the wedding looked ghastly.  Wonder how that came about.

[coffeebean7]

I think it’s all really pretty! Except the bouquets are a bit too much. Other than that I think it’s a huge step over her siblings’ weddings. 

 

That picture of “Mr and Mrs Zoolander” is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a while. lol

[miss_batson]

Carlin not so modest back. Kelly have to say looks good, better than ever. More cute kids, and Jeb doing "like a boss pose". 

[Melissa1977]

I find the wedding romantic and beautiful, except for the groom. Sorry.

 The wedding showed Josie's taste and style, it wasn't the neutral/impersonal wedding we've seen so many times, plus it wasn't weird (like for example John and Chelsy's one). Josie is not a millionarie, but probably had a nice budget and I think the wedding reflected this. The dress, the leaves crown and the landscape really fitted the romantic atmosphere she was looking for.

 

 

[just_ordinary]

I wonder if they saved money by not renting a church? Here, if I want to use a church it is free, although a little donation is kind of expected (like 50-100€). But I could imagine those big churches charge some money. I am sure some of you can enlighten me. 

As Josie is earning her own money, she might have been able to save up a nice amount for any extra she wanted to have. When you don’t have to pay rent or  groceries, electricity bills and such this could add up quickly.

[formergothardite]

7 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

Just a quick shout out to the US Senate for sending the Balkas the ultimate wedding gift of a conservative majority Supreme Court. I’m sure Kelton*, who has been vocal about supporting Trump, will be thrilled by the confirmation of Brett “I LIKE BEER AND DID NOT ASSAULT THAT MEAN DOCTOR LADY!” Kavanaugh. 

*As we all know, Josie’s thoughts and opinions don’t matter because patriarchal society bullshit. 

I'm still so depressed over this. I'm pretty sure Kelton(and most of the Bates) is one of those people who doesn't think it actually matters if he sexually assaulted someone years ago because boys will be boys. 

[Oh_Dear!]

 

josie’s first post as a married woman

 

[WiseGirl]

10 minutes ago, Oh_Dear! said:

 

josie’s first post as a married woman

 

Damn, he really looks young here! IMO they look like they should be at their high school senior prom, not getting married.

The wedding venue was beautiful, I liked Katie's dress the best of the bridesmaids, but I don't think the dresses photographed that well. For instance I like Carlin's in isolation better than in the group shot if that makes sense. I like Josie's dress from the side better than the front. Next up, Abbie & JD's then Carlin's and Fundie Zoolander.

[SilverBeach]

10 hours ago, Illmarryyoujana said:

I’m a fan of them not being the exact same as each other’s.

I think it visually detracts from focusing on the bride.

[Seculardaisy]

A fun game to play with these fundie couples is how many times does the woman appear in photos alone or take photos of things that interest ONLY her and don’t involve her spouse.

The answer is almost never.

Because the life of a fundie woman should revolve almost entirely around the man in her orbit and his interests.

Sorry if I’m being BEC but I’m feeling extra cranky towards the patriarchy today.

[sleepy_doggos]

I wonder if they saved money by not renting a church? Here, if I want to use a church it is free, although a little donation is kind of expected (like 50-100€). But I could imagine those big churches charge some money. I am sure some of you can enlighten me. 

As Josie is earning her own money, she might have been able to save up a nice amount for any extra she wanted to have. When you don’t have to pay rent or  groceries, electricity bills and such this could add up quickly.

It can still cost to rent outdoor spaces or barns/event spaces, or even take a donation to use a friend's land, so it may not have saved that much over a church.

 

 

Carlin not so modest back. Kelly have to say looks good, better than ever. More cute kids, and Jeb doing "like a boss pose". 

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One of my professors told us that now we're in PT school we won't be able to stop looking at people's scapular issues... Girl got some muscles she needs to strengthen. Lol.

 

[miss_batson]

Josie and Ashley (Nathan's ex). Pitcure that shows how tiny and short Josie really is. 

[BunnyBee]

Congratulations to Josie and Jack Nicholson, hopefully they wont have too many children since he will be spending most of his time fighting Batman and terrorizing Gotham. 

Also I thought the red flowers were apples too ?

[LilMissMetaphor]

It's all a bit too "lusty month of May" for me.