Jill and Derwood 62: Law School Rumors and Boring Sam

[HarleyQuinn]

She legitimately ruins a fun moment between brothers to shove food in her baby's face..

Spoiler

 

 

[xlurker]

For the record, both Lurkerlings got a nice size piece of the whole cake placed in front of them at their high chairs and were allowed to go at it or not--my oldest was a very early speaker, and when she was done stated clearly "More cake Momma peas"   Youngest wasn't very interested.   

As to wedding cake? The Mr and I just put a tiny bit of icing on tip each others noses.

[PennySycamore]

@Kittikatz,  I am so very sorry that your little brother had to go through that.  I can't imagine the pain that he went through with no anesthesia for his surgeries.  My daughter did have anesthesia when she had surgery at 2 weeks of age (but no more than 28 gestational age) for patent ductus arteriosis 31 years ago, but they apparently had not been giving anesthesia to micropremies for until a few years before that.  {{{{{{{Hugs to you and your family}}}}}}

@nastyhobbitses, two of my daughters would fall asleep while they were eating.  I would not be surprised that we also a picture of a daughter napping in a plate of spaghetti.

@Rachel333,  I haven't seen such a cute one year old since I looked at photos my grandchildren when they were that age.

[GenerationCedarchip]

The smash cake thing doesn't really phase me one way or another, as long as no one is forcing the baby into something he/she clearly doesn't want. I didn't want to waste a whole cake, so I just gave my kids each a cupcake. One plowed right in and painted himself and the high chair with it. The other was much more tentative. The only thing that really bugs me at kid birthday parties are a couple I've been to where someone (usually an adult relative other than parent) is basically trying to force cake into the child's mouth when they clearly don't want it.

[singsingsing]

I don’t get/like making a giant production with special backdrops and a professional photographer out of a baby’s first taste of cake. But it’s a personal preference or opinion, not some kind of moral outrage against smash cakes. 

[SassyPants]

1 hour ago, acheronbeach said:

I too find the cake smashing thing distasteful.  I know I'm in the minority, but I find it obnoxious.  

Why would you give a kid enough food for like six or eight people just to destroy it and make the room/themselves totally filthy?  Why would I want to watch that?  IMO, it falls into the category, "stuff that is way cuter when you're the kid's parent."  Invariably, guests end up on cleanup duty after little Kelcie or Jaxxon smears cake onto the floor/upholstery/people.  

You probably think I'm a total downer, but I also dislike the "smashing cake into your new spouse's face" at weddings.  

EXACTLY this! I find it distasteful and a waste of resources. My depression era parents would never have wasted an entire cake for a one year old, and neither did we. A cupcake or piece of cake is just as celebratory. But damn, I’m a party killjoy according to some. I’ve never eaten an entire cake and I’m 60 years old!

[Screamapillar]

Let them eat cake. 

[Hashtag Blessed]

This may be unpopular, but I do feel like you're being a killjoy if you're trying to act like people are somehow morally in the wrong for smashing a damn cake. Like damn, plenty of things are wasteful! Eating too much food at Thanksgiving is wasteful, decorating a Christmas tree with popcorn is wasteful, hell the whole Christmas tree itself is a waste of farmland and water! Piñatas are a waste of paper! Easter Eggs are a waste of eggs! Fireworks are a useless waste of chemicals AND they're dangerous! I bet plenty of FJers don't object to half of those things. There are plenty of things we do for celebratory purposes that can be construed as a waste of time/money/resources. We do them anyway. Because they're fun. 

Look, do you, people! No one is saying you have to do a smash cake. Just like no one says you have to have a big wedding or a real Christmas tree. 

When I'm judging Jill for her lame cake video it is as a social media content creator, not as a mom or a person. As a regular mom, if she wants to home-make an ugly cake for her kid's birthday, who cares? I'm sure it tastes fine. However, as a content creator who's posting videos in the hope of gaining followers, and most likely money, she needs to make more of an effort. If you want people to watch your "show" then you need to give them a little production value. 

If you're a regular Jane, not trying to make it as a social media star, then don't fucking worry about making your life look Pinterest worthy. No one cares but you, so do whatever makes you happy! Some people take professional family photos all the time, some don't. It is a personal preference. When I receive a friend's Christmas card in the mail, and it is beautifully designed with a professional family photo on the front, I don't think to myself "God, this is so wasteful! And now they're forcing me to make a fancy Christmas card too!"  No, I typically think, "Aww, how nice! I should call them." I don't do Christmas cards because it isn't my style, but I'm not going to shit on anyone who does because their joy isn't a personal attack on me. /end rant

 

[SassyPants]

31 minutes ago, Hashtag Blessed said:

This may be unpopular, but I do feel like you're being a killjoy if you're trying to act like people are somehow morally in the wrong for smashing a damn cake. Like damn, plenty of things are wasteful! Eating too much food at Thanksgiving is wasteful, decorating a Christmas tree with popcorn is wasteful, hell the whole Christmas tree itself is a waste of farmland and water! Piñatas are a waste of paper! Easter Eggs are a waste of eggs! Fireworks are a useless waste of chemicals AND they're dangerous! I bet plenty of FJers don't object to half of those things. There are plenty of things we do for celebratory purposes that can be construed as a waste of time/money/resources. We do them anyway. Because they're fun. 

Look, do you, people! No one is saying you have to do a smash cake. Just like no one says you have to have a big wedding or a real Christmas tree. 

When I'm judging Jill for her lame cake video it is as a social media content creator, not as a mom or a person. As a regular mom, if she wants to home-make an ugly cake for her kid's birthday, who cares? I'm sure it tastes fine. However, as a content creator who's posting videos in the hope of gaining followers, and most likely money, she needs to make more of an effort. If you want people to watch your "show" then you need to give them a little production value. 

If you're a regular Jane, not trying to make it as a social media star, then don't fucking worry about making your life look Pinterest worthy. No one cares but you, so do whatever makes you happy! Some people take professional family photos all the time, some don't. It is a personal preference. When I receive a friend's Christmas card in the mail, and it is beautifully designed with a professional family photo on the front, I don't think to myself "God, this is so wasteful! And now they're forcing me to make a fancy Christmas card too!"  No, I typically think, "Aww, how nice! I should call them." I don't do Christmas cards because it isn't my style, but I'm not going to shit on anyone who does because their joy isn't a personal attack on me. /end rant

 

Eating too much is not wasteful, it is gluttony. Smashing a cake and throwing it in the trash is different than gorging one’s self, sorry. Why an entire cake as opposed to a piece or a cupcake? Why serve a 1 year old an entire cake that will ultimately be thrown in the trash?

[Hashtag Blessed]

1 minute ago, SassyPants said:

Eating too much is not wasteful, it is gluttony. Smashing a cake and throwing it in the trash is different than gorging one’s self, sorry. Why an entire cake as opposed to a piece or a cupcake? Why serve a 1 year old an entire cake that will ultimately be thrown in the trash?

How is gluttony not wasteful? You’re wasting calories and nutrients that you don’t need and probably won’t absorb fully. 

A full cake allows for more creative freedom in the decoration. Put simply: it is prettier. I stand by what I said. It is no more wasteful that half the other things we do for special occasions. You’ve never had to throw away uneaten food from a party? Never tossed uneaten potato salad from the 4th of July? Never been to a baby shower and wasted a bunch of toilet paper or diapers on some silly game? Come on.

Like I said, if you feel that strongly about it, don’t do it! 

[acheronbeach]

1 hour ago, Hashtag Blessed said:

How is gluttony not wasteful? You’re wasting calories and nutrients that you don’t need and probably won’t absorb fully. 

A full cake allows for more creative freedom in the decoration. Put simply: it is prettier. I stand by what I said. It is no more wasteful that half the other things we do for special occasions. You’ve never had to throw away uneaten food from a party? Never tossed uneaten potato salad from the 4th of July? Never been to a baby shower and wasted a bunch of toilet paper or diapers on some silly game? Come on.

Like I said, if you feel that strongly about it, don’t do it! 

I think what I struggle with knowing the intent is to make it specifically knowing you'll trash it.  Making a dinner and having leftovers, or eating too much at one meal, isn't turning food into garbage by design.

[singsingsing]

5 minutes ago, acheronbeach said:

I think what I struggle with knowing the intent is to make it specifically knowing you'll trash it.  Making a dinner and having leftovers, or eating too much at one meal, isn't turning food into garbage by design.

I feel the same way about the 'trash the dress' thing that was trendy a few years back, where after her wedding, the bride would have a professional photoshoot where she completely dirtied and destroyed her wedding dress in some way. It's basically the same as the professionally photographed smash cake thing, though on a much grander scale. It's your wedding dress, you (presumably) paid for it, so you can do whatever you want with it, but that doesn't mean I have to understand or appreciate it. 

[Chickenbutt]

My gr dgts FREE smash cake came with her regular bday cake. It was about  a six inch cake I would guess. She dove right in, ate what she wanted, smeared what she could on her face (and her dad). When she was done, she was done. There was another cake for all the guests. 

She had fun, we had fun, we have pictures, so all is good with us. 

[Mama Mia]

11 hours ago, Georgiana said:

Yeah, and like others have said, I'm starting to realize that one of the reasons that Jill comes off so awkwardly on social media is that she clearly tries to stage certain situations/photos rather than leaning in to the situations and moments that organically develop around the house.  Jill has a specific image she wants to cultivate for her family, but it's not genuine and too far off from the truth for her to fake successfully.  

Jessa seems to just clean the rough edges off the life she has, which comes off much better.  I'd wager a guess that Jessa probably wouldn't have forced her kids into the cake, she'd just make a joke about them being hesitant...which is a totally relatable post because we ALL know kids who are fussy about getting their hands messy and people are well aware kid birthdays don't always go as planned.  Jill is trying to convince people that she and her family are something they're not, and she's not savvy enough to pull that off.  So it comes off as weird, staged, and trying way too hard.  

That’s what I think about her social media videos. I feel for her, because I suck at that sort of thing too. But it’s like there is some cute family moment, or some moment she hopes will be cute - and she decides when the moment is pretty much over to grab her phone and film it. Like with that really awkward Derrick book reading session. Maybe it STARTED with the boys listening to their Dad read a bedtime story in a normal way.. But by the time Jill gets the camera and starts filming - everyone is over it, and it shows.. But she just keeps going. Clueless. Same with any normal childhood / family moment situation, she has a vision of a pretty idealized picture and doesn’t grasp that she’s not capturing that. 

[Sky with diamonds]

I have very cute pics of my Neice and nephew doing cake smashes for their first three years. They enjoyed it and I enjoyed being the photographer.

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

I wonder if Jill and OfJill will announce a pregnancy at some point soon. I could see them doing it on the same day as an important episode of Counting On just to get the attention on them.

[kiwi]

3 hours ago, VeryNikeSeamstress said:

I wonder if Jill and OfJill will announce a pregnancy at some point soon. I could see them doing it on the same day as an important episode of Counting On just to get the attention on them.

Like Jinger’s birth episode

[Hashtag Blessed]

8 hours ago, singsingsing said:

I feel the same way about the 'trash the dress' thing that was trendy a few years back, where after her wedding, the bride would have a professional photoshoot where she completely dirtied and destroyed her wedding dress in some way. It's basically the same as the professionally photographed smash cake thing, though on a much grander scale. It's your wedding dress, you (presumably) paid for it, so you can do whatever you want with it, but that doesn't mean I have to understand or appreciate it. 

I understand the comparison but I still feel like it isn’t equivalent. A mini cake costs at most around $30, while a wedding dress costs thousands. And a leftover cake cannot be donated to a secondhand shop for someone who maybe can’t afford a brand new cake for their birthday, the way a dress can. Cake art is also already made to be destroyed, which is to say eaten. 

And maybe it is a cultural difference but unfinished junkfood has never been framed as a bad thing or a waste in my life. Growing up the attitude was “finish your real food but if you leave some junkfood on your plate it’s no big deal because it is junk anyway.” So the idea of wasting something like cake really doesn’t bother me. I had no idea people felt so strongly about it. 

Anyway, back to Jill. I feel like she could find some success at YouTube if she embraced the persona of the down-home fundie wife, who is more concerned saving money and having a nice time with her kids, than she is with aesthetics. But she still needs to learn to edit her videos, present the best bits, and maybe add an intro where she greets the viewer and explains what is going on and why she wanted to share it woth the world. She could gain a following by being herself and finding a way to present her personality to the camera in a way that draws people in. That’s what YouTube personalities do. But she’d have to put in some effort. Unedited home movies are just not interesting enough to get ad revenue for, even if she did have a nicer looking cake.

[SassyPants]

8 hours ago, acheronbeach said:

I think what I struggle with knowing the intent is to make it specifically knowing you'll trash it.  Making a dinner and having leftovers, or eating too much at one meal, isn't turning food into garbage by design.

Yes, this is exactly what I believe too. It’s just another perspective and clearly many do not agree.

9 hours ago, Hashtag Blessed said:

How is gluttony not wasteful? You’re wasting calories and nutrients that you don’t need and probably won’t absorb fully. 

A full cake allows for more creative freedom in the decoration. Put simply: it is prettier. I stand by what I said. It is no more wasteful that half the other things we do for special occasions. You’ve never had to throw away uneaten food from a party? Never tossed uneaten potato salad from the 4th of July? Never been to a baby shower and wasted a bunch of toilet paper or diapers on some silly game? Come on.

Like I said, if you feel that strongly about it, don’t do it! 

If you comprehended my first post, it stated clearly stated that our family did not do it. Moving on...

[kachuu]

13 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

I'm really not bothered by food waste on an individual level. If someone wants to "waste" their own food that's their business and why should anyone else care? Individual food waste is absolutely nothing compared to the massive amounts of food waste that goes on at an industrial scale.

The first thing that popped into my head is how people would say "you need to finish your plate, kids are starving in Africa"

Because our leftovers were ever going to the starving kids in Africa (or anywhere, for that matter?)

 

To be honest, babies are great self-regulators of their little stomachs. If they over eat anything, they spit it back up. They eat till they are full and they stop eating. If you've ever been around small kids, you see they eat smaller portions and eat more frequently which is exactly what nutritionists say people should do. Adults are the ones who continue to eat and eat and eat and eat. My NY in-laws barely eat anything all day and then have this huge disgustingly greasy meal at the end of the day.

 

These aren't adults who are eating a whole cake. These are babies who, as babies do, use their hands to eat their food and play in their food. Have you SEEN babies eat? LOL

 And i have yet to see a baby finish the smash cake. Really, this complaint is BEC.

[SassyPants]

Not everyone ‘s experiences and values are the same. It’s good to see that most folks are able to express their beliefs respectfully. I think until Izzy was encouraged to push Dam’s hands into the cake, the video was fine and Sam was so cute...he was interested in and tasting the cake, they should have just left it at that.

5 hours ago, kachuu said:

The first thing that popped into my head is how people would say "you need to finish your plate, kids are starving in Africa"

Because our leftovers were ever going to the starving kids in Africa (or anywhere, for that matter?)

 

To be honest, babies are great self-regulators of their little stomachs. If they over eat anything, they spit it back up. They eat till they are full and they stop eating. If you've ever been around small kids, you see they eat smaller portions and eat more frequently which is exactly what nutritionists say people should do. Adults are the ones who continue to eat and eat and eat and eat. My NY in-laws barely eat anything all day and then have this huge disgustingly greasy meal at the end of the day.

 

These aren't adults who are eating a whole cake. These are babies who, as babies do, use their hands to eat their food and play in their food. Have you SEEN babies eat? LOL

 And i have yet to see a baby finish the smash cake. Really, this complaint is BEC.

Actually, you think most everyone realizes that a 1 year isn’t going to eat an entire cake, and that’s why a piece or a cupcake seems far less wasteful.

[Hashtag Blessed]

2 hours ago, SassyPants said:

If you comprehended my first post, it stated clearly stated that our family did not do it. Moving on...

Oh, spare me the ad hominem attacks on my reading comprehension. If you don’t have any response to my arguments there’s no need to be a jerk. You made a point, I rebutted it without implying you’re stupid. It isn’t that hard. 

You’re using “wastefulness” as an excuse to be judgmental over something that is pretty fucking harmless in the grand scheme of things. I’ll say again, you and yours do whatever you want but stop acting like you're morally superior because you aren’t.

[KelseyAnn]

13 hours ago, Hashtag Blessed said:

This may be unpopular, but I do feel like you're being a killjoy if you're trying to act like people are somehow morally in the wrong for smashing a damn cake.

 

 

Seriously this, I grew up poor as fuck (splitting peaches with my sister) and even I thought it was cute when I watched my niece annihilate her smash cake. 

And as for the endless pictures parents seem to take nowadays, who cares? What is it hurting? I seriously have no goddamn pictures of me before fifth grade, and I would have loved to have had at a least a few baby pics. 

Why does everything have to be an issue of morality nowadays? 

[singsingsing]

3 hours ago, Hashtag Blessed said:

I understand the comparison but I still feel like it isn’t equivalent. A mini cake costs at most around $30, while a wedding dress costs thousands. And a leftover cake cannot be donated to a secondhand shop for someone who maybe can’t afford a brand new cake for their birthday, the way a dress can. Cake art is also already made to be destroyed, which is to say eaten. 

I meant that I had the same sentiments the person I quoted was expressing toward the 'trash the dress' trend. I even made sure to point out that the 'trash the dress' thing was on a much grander scale than smash cakes. I also added that it's your dress and you can do whatever you like to it, and I don't have to appreciate it. That applies to so much in life...

I think I'm going to have to peace out of this discussion for now. I'm not nearly invested enough in smash cakes and Pinterest trends and wasting junk food to make any kind of meaningful contribution here, haha.

[KelseyAnn]

What is Trash the Dress?