Joy & Austin 23: Still Sticking Around

[Jana814]

I'm pretty good with accents. I can easily stop a New York one. 

[PigtailHeadband]

2 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

but I kind of laughed at the New England part - especially because my state is pretty much all “annexed territory” or “on probation”. 

As a fellow New Englander I've always loved this map. But as a native "Masshole" this one is my favorite:

 

[Dandruff]

1 hour ago, Carm_88 said:

I pretty much assume that Americans don't know that we exist.  Also I don't mean to be picky, but if it's Trailer Park Boys can we at least put it over Dartmouth?  East go east! Poor New Brunswick though. The Bay of Fundy (Not joking) is beautiful! 

Thanks to the last few years of enjoying your posts, I'm almost convinced that you exist.  Up there..somewhere.  How is it that the Internet is able to reach such remote dwellings?

[Carm_88]

4 minutes ago, Dandruff said:

Thanks to the last few years of enjoying your posts, I'm almost convinced that you exist.  Up there..somewhere.  How is it that the Internet is able to reach such remote dwellings?

We aren't quite sure yet. Something about Marconi and a kite.  

[Cheetah]

On a similar note... I saw this for the first time about a month ago, although I guess it's about 5 years old.  

[rainbowbabycakes]

Y'all made me have to google, and I found these

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Knight of Ni]

I picked up one of the Bumbo seats from a yard sale and never got to use it. My daughter’s thighs were too big for the leg holes. She was such a chunky little baby. 

[TZmom]

2 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

I pretty much assume that Americans don't know that we exist.  Also I don't mean to be picky, but if it's Trailer Park Boys can we at least put it over Dartmouth?  East go east! Poor New Brunswick though. The Bay of Fundy (Not joking) is beautiful! 

I thought it was funny that the only place labeled in NS was New Glasgow (which is basically my hometown and so small). It's also funny that we are only known for TPB- I went to the same high school as Bubbles, and I am sure he based his character on the other people who attended. It is dead on for the boys I went to school with.

[VelociRapture]

59 minutes ago, Dandruff said:

Thanks to the last few years of enjoying your posts, I'm almost convinced that you exist.  Up there..somewhere.  How is it that the Internet is able to reach such remote dwellings?

 

55 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

We aren't quite sure yet. Something about Marconi and a kite.  

You’ll never be able to convince me that all Newfoundlanders don’t look exactly like this:

 

(Who is a good, fluffy, and adorable Newfoundlander?! WHO IS A GOOD, FLUFFY, AND ADORABLE NEWFOUNDLANDER?! )

[Chewing Gum]

I cannot imagine Joy having a lot of kids after Gideon. Not just because of her c-sec, but she seems to enjoy working a lot and should be given the chance. 

Also, Giddy isn’t chunky, as anyone with a real chunker can tell you...that is one skinny baby. Fine! But not chunky. 

[Ivycoveredtower]

3 minutes ago, Chewing Gum said:

I cannot imagine Joy having a lot of kids after Gideon. Not just because of her c-sec, but she seems to enjoy working a lot and should be given the chance. 

Also, Giddy isn’t chunky, as anyone with a real chunker can tell you...that is one skinny baby. Fine! But not chunky. 

from what we have heard Joy is one of the biggest Kool-aid drinkers of the Duggar kids so liking to work with Austin isn't going to stop her from popping out a dozen or two babies. If her pregnancy's fallow the path of Gid's that's the only thing I can see stopping her and that's only a maybe because multiple c-sections didn't stop Michelle 

[agentshade]

23 minutes ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

from what we have heard Joy is one of the biggest Kool-aid drinkers of the Duggar kids so liking to work with Austin isn't going to stop her from popping out a dozen or two babies. If her pregnancy's fallow the path of Gid's that's the only thing I can see stopping her and that's only a maybe because multiple c-sections didn't stop Michelle 

With Michelle, there's the fact that most of her C-sections were of her youngest kids. Like her first was Jana and John David, her second was Jackson, and then everyone after Jackson was a C-section as well. Had Michelle had all those C-sections in her earlier pregnancies, things could have turned out differently. 

I can definitely imagine Joy having 8-12 kids if her future pregnancies/births go smoothly. But if her next couple births turn out to be like Gideon's, that's very subject to change.

[Taylurker]

1 hour ago, agentshade said:

With Michelle, there's the fact that most of her C-sections were of her youngest kids. Like her first was Jana and John David, her second was Jackson, and then everyone after Jackson was a C-section as well. Had Michelle had all those C-sections in her earlier pregnancies, things could have turned out differently. 

I can definitely imagine Joy having 8-12 kids if her future pregnancies/births go smoothly. But if her next couple births turn out to be like Gideon's, that's very subject to change.

Not quite - Johannah and Jennifer were both VBACs. Jordyn-Grace was born via c-section because she was transverse and wouldn't turn. Then Josie was an emergency c-section. But you're correct that it's definitely a good thing that she had those last 3 cesareans for some younger kids rather than at the beginning, because the more c-sections you have, the more dangerous subsequent pregnancies become.

[StraightOuttaArkansas]

On the south and accent thing: I was totally used to knowing what other Americans thought about the South and while annoying and something disappointing, not such a huge bother in my everyday life. I got it, not a lot of people want to visit the south and we don't seem to export our best and brightest (the Duggars for example). What got me was moving abroad and how much of the stereotypes followed me to countries that didn't know Arkansas existed (nor how to pronounce it) but knew and believed every stereotype. Also as a teenager I wanted out of the South like yesterday so I spent a long time ditching my southern accent. I am very good know and only certain words betray me (or if I talk to my family/hear a southern for a while). I am still seriously ashamed of my accent though.

On Bumbos: I have an almost 3 month old and we have bought one (only because it was deeply discounted, those suckers are expensive). We don't plan to use it much and know they don't last long, but before getting it I did a lot of reading. They do hinder development in learning to sit since they are not actually a flat seat but a slight backward incline. The other thing is that they hold the baby in place which does not make them use all the muscle groups as intensely as they need to in order to learn independent sitting. That being said and know those things. We are careful in how we use it. Our baby is/was getting a flat head on the side (despite ample tummy time, not much you can do when he lays it on the side) and really enjoyed sitting up and using his head control that way. We did sit him on our laps and we never let him slump, just a few minutes at time and it has actually helped the flat head situation and he has excellent head control already for minutes at a time (we have only been using it for 2 weeks). I am all for his learning to sit independently and developing on his own time, but I think it can be a useful way to add another position for play and practice. I also see it useful for containing a baby. Sometimes you just need them to sit still and be contained for a few minutes. Nothing wrong with that. I do think Joy will use it wrong and too much because likely no one will tell her the risks of extended use nor that while containing is fine sometimes it should not be the majority. Oh also, while I don't doubt a bigger kid could tip it over, they are pretty stable massive chunks of seat so I could totally see myself setting on the seat of the car if we were hanging out somewhere. Better that than being stuck in the bucket seat like poor Sam.

[SapphireSlytherin]

29 minutes ago, StraightOuttaArkansas said:

so I spent a long time ditching my southern accent

Same same same. 

Like you, there are certain words that will always give me away - that long "i" sound, though! I'm good with having what I refer to as "a Southern undercurrent" in my speech. Most people don't pick up on it until they've been around me a few times. 

However. When I'm angry, drunk, or with other Southerners, all bets are off. lol

I don't have the lilting coastal accent, or the almost Elizabethan English Appalachian accent - I have what's known as the MidSouth accent, which is very distinct in its own way. When we were in Dublin in May, a family was on one of the "tasting class" tours with us. They were sitting next to me. When they spoke to the distillery "taste master" - I swiveled in my seat and said, "Memphis!" I was right. They all currently lived in Memphis, but had spent their growing up years within 50 miles of my hometown. LOL

 

[VelociRapture]

25 minutes ago, StraightOuttaArkansas said:

On the south and accent thing: I was totally used to knowing what other Americans thought about the South and while annoying and something disappointing, not such a huge bother in my everyday life. I got it, not a lot of people want to visit the south and we don't seem to export our best and brightest (the Duggars for example). What got me was moving abroad and how much of the stereotypes followed me to countries that didn't know Arkansas existed (nor how to pronounce it) but knew and believed every stereotype. Also as a teenager I wanted out of the South like yesterday so I spent a long time ditching my southern accent. I am very good know and only certain words betray me (or if I talk to my family/hear a southern for a while). I am still seriously ashamed of my accent though.

On Bumbos: I have an almost 3 month old and we have bought one (only because it was deeply discounted, those suckers are expensive). We don't plan to use it much and know they don't last long, but before getting it I did a lot of reading. They do hinder development in learning to sit since they are not actually a flat seat but a slight backward incline. The other thing is that they hold the baby in place which does not make them use all the muscle groups as intensely as they need to in order to learn independent sitting. That being said and know those things. We are careful in how we use it. Our baby is/was getting a flat head on the side (despite ample tummy time, not much you can do when he lays it on the side) and really enjoyed sitting up and using his head control that way. We did sit him on our laps and we never let him slump, just a few minutes at time and it has actually helped the flat head situation and he has excellent head control already for minutes at a time (we have only been using it for 2 weeks). I am all for his learning to sit independently and developing on his own time, but I think it can be a useful way to add another position for play and practice. I also see it useful for containing a baby. Sometimes you just need them to sit still and be contained for a few minutes. Nothing wrong with that. I do think Joy will use it wrong and too much because likely no one will tell her the risks of extended use nor that while containing is fine sometimes it should not be the majority. Oh also, while I don't doubt a bigger kid could tip it over, they are pretty stable massive chunks of seat so I could totally see myself setting on the seat of the car if we were hanging out somewhere. Better that than being stuck in the bucket seat like poor Sam.

My daughter had a flat spot as well - her’s was the back of her head. I never used a Bumbo* because she (and I) preferred that I held her. I also used the baby carrier a lot, but it can still happen regardless of what you use or how you use it. Our Pediatrician doesn’t like using helmets to correct it unless it’s severe, so we just left it alone and eventually it went away on its own. 

(Just in case you were in any way concerned about the flat spot.  )

*To be clear, we had extra worries than the average parents since she was a late-term preemie. We had already decided not to use a Bumbo and having a preemie made that decision even firmer for us because everything makes you worry more when you have a preemie. Lol!

[StraightOuttaArkansas]

@VelociRapture Thanks for the tip. They seem to not want do helmets here either, which is fine. I have a read a lot that it goes away on it's own too. It is all just so scary thinking you can do lasting damage to your baby even when you are trying to do the right thing (back sleeping and all). I have no idea how I made it with my first. I guess there is a benefit to being a teen mom? I feel way more paranoid at 31 than I was at 17.

[Ais]

100 times this @StraightOuttaArkansas! I was 19 when I had my first, 20 with my second (who turned 18 today, not sure where that time went) and even with a 1 year old and a newborn I didn't worry about things as much as I did when my third was born at 30.

I was/am so much more aware of potential problems and things that can go wrong. It even extends to milestones etc. My first two sat up, crawled, and talked early and they both walked at 9 months. I didn't give it a minutes thought whereas with the youngest I constantly checked his development. I swear I just expected them to do it and they did, there is a definitely a truth to the old saying "Ignorance is bliss". 

Disclaimer: I do not recommend ignorance as a parenting strategy

[Carm_88]

11 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

 

You’ll never be able to convince me that all Newfoundlanders don’t look exactly like this:

 

(Who is a good, fluffy, and adorable Newfoundlander?! WHO IS A GOOD, FLUFFY, AND ADORABLE NEWFOUNDLANDER?! )

I'm totally a big fluffy dog!  

[Screamapillar]

My pediatrician actually recommended the Bumbo chair, just used in moderation and with common sense like any other baby product. At six months my daughter wasn't interested in sitting independently. We would prop her up against pillows or something to practice sitting and she would just wiggle her way down and roll over to her preferred position, on her tummy. Once we got the Bumbo we'd put her in it for a few minutes then take her out to practice sitting on her own without support for a few minutes and it helped her a lot. She just needed a little encouragement that sitting could be as fun as being on her tummy, I guess.

[Mama Mia]

3 hours ago, Ais said:

100 times this @StraightOuttaArkansas! I was 19 when I had my first, 20 with my second (who turned 18 today, not sure where that time went) and even with a 1 year old and a newborn I didn't worry about things as much as I did when my third was born at 30.

I was/am so much more aware of potential problems and things that can go wrong. It even extends to milestones etc. My first two sat up, crawled, and talked early and they both walked at 9 months. I didn't give it a minutes thought whereas with the youngest I constantly checked his development. I swear I just expected them to do it and they did, there is a definitely a truth to the old saying "Ignorance is bliss". 

Disclaimer: I do not recommend ignorance as a parenting strategy

I wonder how much of the increased worry is age, and how much is the ubiquitous fear mongering / competition / information from 24/7 web access and social media ? I know all of that was becoming a thing 18 -20 years ago, but has really  I would be a nervous wreck if I knew every single solitary danger and latest ( often conflicting ) piece of advice on the planet, just by looking at my phone ! Yikes. 

@StraightOuttaArkansas The flat head thing is interesting - I was a social worker during the transition to the recommendation to back-to-sleep. A year or two before - I had one client who had CPS become involved because her baby had a flat head due to the baby insisting on sleeping on it’s back, in a set position. She was accused of neglect.  When she came back in a few years later, and it was now a very common issue- she felt very vindicated ! 

 

 

[Ais]

@Mama Mia I think it's a combination of factors. As you say we didn't have the same volume of information or unlimited access to it which is both a blessing and a curse. The internet is amazing for speedy answers, reassurance that you aren't crazy or confirmation that whatever substance is leaking out of your child this time is completely normal, but unfortunately it is also populated with very plausible looking crazy people offering their opinions as fact which can be incredibly dangerous.

When you are a young mum you generally have very few peers who are also parents and therefore very few people to compare yourself or your child to. As an older mum there are usually lots of other people in the same boat and everyone has a different idea of the best thing which can lead to you questioning your own judgement on everything. Invariably everyone you meet knows someone who knows someone that a god awful thing happened to, making every tragedy feel personal and possible. 

In my own case my youngest was a huge surprise. I have endometriosis, pcos, had been told I would never conceive again and that I needed a hysterectomy (age 29). I had a very un-fundie one night stand with my now husband and fell pregnant. Because I got pregnant against the odds I became convinced I would miscarry. Then I was sure something would go wrong in the delivery and when that didn't happen I was terrified of cot death/SIDS. It seemed unrealistic that I could be so lucky. I think that's a big thing, the world is such a small place now, we are so aware of the potential tragedy that it seems unlikely that we are lucky enough to carry and raise healthy children to adulthood without messing them up too badly.

 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

10 hours ago, Ais said:

As an older mum there are usually lots of other people in the same boat and everyone has a different idea of the best thing which can lead to you questioning your own judgement on everything.

I guess my experience as an older mom has been a bit different. I had my kids at 38 and 40, and although we know lots of people with kids, all those kids are at least 8 years older than ours. So, I could get sympathy and stories from my family and friends, but when I asked how they dealt with different technologies or recommendations, the answer was usually, "Oh. That's all changed since my kids were little. Good luck with that!" 

I also count myself lucky that I didn't get my first smart phone (and daily internet access) until my youngest was 2. When I had a "baby concern", I could ask their pediatrician, my mom, my sister, or my friend, or read a parent's magazine, but I couldn't Google and freak myself out. I think that was healthier, in my case. (Google did help me identify hand, foot, and mouth disease when my then 4 year old brought it home. I stuck to sites like the Mayo Clinic's and got useful info on treating symptoms, and knowing when we might need to see a doctor.)

I have no idea how I would have been as a younger mom, but I think that some parts of being older have been a help, for me. 

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

I’ve had babies from teens through thirties. I’ve never been very anxious at any age, but I’ve definitely become less crazy about stuff. With my first, everything she touched had to be spotless, she couldn’t walk around in a diaper, everything was done “by the book”, etc. I did worry at being judged for being a young mom so I wanted everything perfect all the time and now I couldn’t care less. I’m much more relaxed in that sense. We do what works for us and if you don’t like it, oh well!

[SamiKatz]

8 hours ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

I guess my experience as an older mom has been a bit different. I had my kids at 38 and 40, and although we know lots of people with kids, all those kids are at least 8 years older than ours. So, I could get sympathy and stories from my family and friends, but when I asked how they dealt with different technologies or recommendations, the answer was usually, "Oh. That's all changed since my kids were little. Good luck with that!" 

I also count myself lucky that I didn't get my first smart phone (and daily internet access) until my youngest was 2. When I had a "baby concern", I could ask their pediatrician, my mom, my sister, or my friend, or read a parent's magazine, but I couldn't Google and freak myself out. I think that was healthier, in my case. (Google did help me identify hand, foot, and mouth disease when my then 4 year old brought it home. I stuck to sites like the Mayo Clinic's and got useful info on treating symptoms, and knowing when we might need to see a doctor.)

I have no idea how I would have been as a younger mom, but I think that some parts of being older have been a help, for me. 

My friend who is a nurse, said she Googled some symptoms she was having at one point and it turned out she might have had prostrate cancer