Seewalds 33: Schroedinger’s Uterus

[JordynDarby5]

I was a breech baby too. I do like to joke how was I suppose to know where the exit was its not like I had ever been there before and my brother didn't to leave a map. I can't understand rejecting prenatal care and not doing all you can to try and insure your baby is born healthy. Sure things can still go wrong but so many things can be caught.

[Augustus]

Canadian here, I was able to have everything you would expect from a home birth at my local hospital. I laboured at home until I was the required dialation. My midwives were on call and I spoke to them throughout the day. After we got to the hospital, I spent some time in the tub there and listening to an audio book. I got to push however I want wanted (no water births at my hospital) and then he was born with no medication by my choice. but if either of us needed extra care it was across hall. I didn't see a doctor during my entire stay since I was under midwife care and didn't require any further intervention. 

[VelociRapture]

10 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

I was breech, came out feet first, which my Dad insists is why I have to do everything ass backwards in life! Luckily I was only 5 pounds and they managed to grab my feet and haul me out. I was my parents first born child so I thought they would tell me how beautiful I was. My Dad has told me that I looked like a little old man, I was bald as a cueball, when I came out I was red and angry, also quite ugly. I asked why as a toddler, I always had my arms out in pictures and his response was "Oh your pediatrician said that you would grow out of it. You walked like Charlie Chaplin." 

Note here, my dad isn't mean. I've seen pictures of myself as a newborn and I had a head on me like a football. I got a bit squashed from being the wrong way and I was quite red. I was definitely an old man baby. Once I got older and a bit more responsive, I looked less like a potato. 

My daughter was a 5 pounder too. I like to joke she looked like a Gremlin when she was born - squished face, tons of dark hair, reddish skin tone, pretty much no brown fat, and a pissed off look. I mean, in my opinion she was the cutest little Gremlin ever... but still a Gremlin. 

[JesSky03]

I kind of cringe when I see people saying that they tell their doctors to just do whatever is necessary to get baby out. IMO that is giving the doctor way too much freedom. I'm all about healthy mom and healthy baby however that happens, but to me that doesn't mean giving the doctor all the control in the delivery room. In my case I never specifically talked to my doctor about episiotomies and I was given one without even being told it was happening. She thought it was necessary so she did it. I would have liked the option to discuss the procedure and be able to weigh in on it. Even if you don't want to create a specific birth plan it is a good idea to be on the same page with your doctor about interventions or let them know you want a discussion about it before its done. Ask questions like why is this necessary? What are the risks/benefits of doing it? What are the risks/benefits of not doing it? What if we hold off for a little bit and come back to it later if needed? 

[melon]

My babies were all big,including large for their gestational age.

With my oldest,in my third trimester,every time I saw one doctor,my son was in the breech position.My dr. told me ,if my baby did not turn,they would do a C section.He turned,but he was sunny side up.Posterior position.

I didn't really have a plan ,either.My doctors preferred natural deliveries and encouraged them.They also did not really understand why Mr Melon chose not to be in the delivery room.With my third son,my mother was with me,and asked if she could be in there with me,instead...she had been a baby nurse and her mother,a midwife..used to take her along when she had deliveries and did not have a babysitter,but the dr said no,only the husband.

[NotQuiteMotY]

I don't know if anyone in the hospital when I had my son ever even asked about a birth plan. If they had, I suspect my answer would have been "Get us both through it safely, ideally with as few interventions as possible." I was getting induced, though, and had to be hooked up to an IV and a fetal monitor, so... *shrug* Already more interventions than I wanted.

I didn't ever consider a home birth. We're not far from the hospital where I delivered, 10-20 minutes depending on traffic and time of day, but that was too far for me to feel comfortable, even without the issues that led to the induction. I wanted to have medical help RIGHT THERE if anything went pear-shaped and I wanted the option of pain relief, because I have no tolerance for pain. Having done it once reasonably safely and with no pain relief... I still want to be in the hospital for a second one, because same reasons. Frankly, I'm afraid the next one might arrive at home without planning to because of how fast the first one arrived once labor got started!

[SassyPants]

On 5/8/2018 at 11:07 AM, Carm_88 said:

The Duggar girls seem to have massive babies, which Michelle didn't. It's going to make not having a c-section and getting to 19 harder. 

They need better prenatal care and education-

On 5/9/2018 at 9:20 AM, singsingsing said:

I think you're right - Michelle had a C-section with Jana and JD due to pre-eclampsia. Then all VBACs until Jackson, I think, and then VBACs again until Jordyn and Josie.

But one key difference is that Michelle was, as far as we know, getting decent prenatal care from actual medical professionals, rather than "midwives" who got their "licences" from the cracker jack box. It's entirely possible that Jill and Joy would've wound up with huge babies and C-sections even if they had the best prenatal care in the world. But they're definitely not helping their odds of having successful VBACs by continuing to go this route. It seems like it's lost on them that their mother was maybe able to have so many back to back pregnancies and successful deliveries because she got actual prenatal care, and that Jessa and Anna are just lucky.

Having a vaignal delivery before any C/section is not the same as having C/section the first time around. Totally different expectations in terms of future vaginal deliveries.

 

[singsingsing]

4 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Having a vaignal delivery before any C/section is not the same as having C/section the first time around. Totally different expectations in terms of future vaginal deliveries.

Oh, really? I actually had no idea! I would love to understand more, though. If a woman has a C-section the first time around but then goes on to have multiple successful VBAC deliveries, would that put her more on par with a woman who had a vaginal delivery first and then a C-section?

[AtlanticTug]

3 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

Oh, really? I actually had no idea! I would love to understand more, though. If a woman has a C-section the first time around but then goes on to have multiple successful VBAC deliveries, would that put her more on par with a woman who had a vaginal delivery first and then a C-section?

Yes.

Not the case with Jill who is almost certainly going to be having more c-sections. With Joy it’s not as clear but another 10-lb+ baby may just seal the deal for her. If she wants to succeed she needs to space out the pregnancies (ideally 18 months) and gain as little weight as possible to mitigate LGA. 

[Pecansforeveryone]

I do think the size of some of these Duggar babies would make vaginal birth risky and difficult. My mother birthed her 5th baby, a 10 pound boy vaginally, just barely. The Doctors just barely got my brother out without breaking his collarbone. My moms subsequent two babies, 10.5 lbs and 11 lbs respectively were both c-sections. If these 10 lb babies continue, I don't see vaginal births being feasible. 

[Chewing Gum]

3 hours ago, JesSky03 said:

I kind of cringe when I see people saying that they tell their doctors to just do whatever is necessary to get baby out. IMO that is giving the doctor way too much freedom. I'm all about healthy mom and healthy baby however that happens, but to me that doesn't mean giving the doctor all the control in the delivery room. In my case I never specifically talked to my doctor about episiotomies and I was given one without even being told it was happening. She thought it was necessary so she did it. I would have liked the option to discuss the procedure and be able to weigh in on it. Even if you don't want to create a specific birth plan it is a good idea to be on the same page with your doctor about interventions or let them know you want a discussion about it before its done. Ask questions like why is this necessary? What are the risks/benefits of doing it? What are the risks/benefits of not doing it? What if we hold off for a little bit and come back to it later if needed? 

I’m so sorry that happened to you. It’s wrong and without given consent...Urgh. I’m on a Fb page that is all about a woman’s rights in childbirth and unfortunately we hear this a lot. No matter where you are, consent for any intervention should always be given. 

23 hours ago, SweetJuly said:

 

Thank you so much, both of you! 

I will look into your suggestions, but as we are based in Brussels, neither going to Germany or the Netherlands seems to be much of an option considering I'll be around 1h30 from the nearest hospital there at best But thank you again for your kind words and support!

Maybe you can find a midwife that does homebirths in Brussels? They are rare but if you want I can ask around for you?

[feministxtian]

3 hours ago, JesSky03 said:

I kind of cringe when I see people saying that they tell their doctors to just do whatever is necessary to get baby out. IMO that is giving the doctor way too much freedom

Regarding episiotomies, I had one with my daughter, no asking, no nothing and I felt every last bit of it. A shitty thing to do to a scared as fuck 18 year old. My next birth was with a midwife and I made it quite clear that there would be NO cutting...if I ripped, I ripped. With my last baby, my OB and I were on the same page. I didn't want one and she didn't like sewing them up. We agreed that we'd try like hell to avoid it if at all possible. Well, the first baby had a 13.5 inch head and got cut and then ripped 32 stitches worth. Second baby was a 14 inch head and just a skid mark. Third baby had a 14.5 inch head and besides a little swelling, not even a skid mark. 

[melon]

My babies all had big heads,too.Two 14,one 14.5.I had an episiotomy,each time.

Like said before my babies kept getting bigger.I gained too much weight,with my first,but with the 2nd and 3rd,gained 33lbs,and by my 6 weeks check up,I was within a pound or two of my pre pregnancy weight.

My first was 8 lbs 15 oz, 2nd was 9lbs 7 and 3/4 oz and 3rd was 10lbs 4 oz.

Mr Melon was a big baby at 10lb 6 oz.His mother also had all vaginal births.

I was actually 2 weeks early because of my mother's C sections,but I was 8lbs 3/4 oz.

Totally not related,but my dr advised my to take a Statin for my cholesterol.I refused.I don't want to take Statin.I would rather control it with diet and exercise.

[SilverBeach]

On 5/15/2018 at 7:31 AM, CarrotCake said:

I don't know yet since I don't have any kids (planned) but I can imagine the attractiveness of homebirth. Thinking now, I might also consider one when the time comes. I live 5minutes from the hospital but with 15minutes I would feel te same. Although, I might just change my mind if I am ever pregnant ;-)

That being said, homebirths are way more common here than in the US.

Questions regarding home birth:

Who cleans up the mess?

What is done with the afterbirth?

Who does stitches if needed?

I cannot imagine the attractiveness of home birth, especially after Anna's toilet affair.  I wanted to be in a hospital for the sake of caution. I took absolutely no chances with my child, or myself. But to each her own.

 

[Carm_88]

34 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

Questions regarding home birth:

Who cleans up the mess?

What is done with the afterbirth?

Who does stitches if needed?

I cannot imagine the attractiveness of home birth, especially after Anna's toilet affair.  I wanted to be in a hospital for the sake of caution. I took absolutely no chances with my child, or myself. But to each her own.

 

In the case of the Duggars? Probably Jana. 

Edit: The cleanup part! Not the stitches!  

[ElToro]

I had a homebirth for one of my kids. Had a huge haemmorhage = Lots of mess!

Answers:

1. My husband. Weakly, the following day after very little sleep. The mattress was never the same again... *

2. The midwives took it with them to make sure none was left inside (guess what?! Some was!) Not sure what happens in normal circumstances.... A nice, protein-packed late supper, perhaps?

3. Midwives mainly do stitches here.

* Also the reason he turned green whenever I suggested having a third. Very sensibly, we stuck at 2.

I live about 15 mins from the hospital. It was fine. Ambulance drove quickly and midwives/paramedics did what the docs would have, had I been in hospital.

P.S. Just to add. Had my first in hospital. I wasn't particularly bothered where I had them, but I didn't find any difference in care... it's all personal and women should do whatever makes them comfortable!

[kiwi]

33 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

Questions regarding home birth:

Who cleans up the mess?

What is done with the afterbirth?

Who does stitches if needed?

I cannot imagine the attractiveness of home birth, especially after Anna's toilet affair.  I wanted to be in a hospital for the sake of caution. I took absolutely no chances with my child, or myself. But to each her own.

 

Our midwife cleaned up what required to be cleaned up -not actually a lot. I delivered on the lounge floor (on a cot mattress that was going to be binned anyway - i replace them between babies). I had a plastic sheet down and hospital linen. Everything gets bagged up and sent to the hospital laundry facility to deal with. We used maybe a couple of towels - that I used to cover a heat pad. The towels we used for baby and myself for my shower post birth came supplied in the linen bag. 

After birth was put in a (lined with plastic bag) ice cream container and then midwife disposed of it at the hospital as they would do for a hospital delivery.

Midwives here in New Zealand do stitching, so she would do it if needed. 

 

 

[Sky with diamonds]

I've never been pregnant, but I couldn't imagine a home birth or being too far away from a hospital. I lived at one point a half hour away from the nearest hospital, and that got scary a few times especially during the winter trying to get patients to the hospital even by ambulance. 

I love my home province of Newfoundland, but so much needs to be done there, everything from higher wages, hiring more people, waiting times, and so much more. Not blaming the doctors or nurses, but the government. I hope things are better in the years since I have been away, but I still hear horror stories. 

[mollysmom]

20 hours ago, coffeebean7 said:

I'm all for home births if monitored by someone competent/qualified. However, I'm so thankful I never tried to go that route. So not for me. 

My oldest son wouldn't be alive if we weren't in the hospital and they weren't constantly monitoring. I *hated* that monitor but if I had the random monitoring that I had envisioned, we wouldn't have picked up on the periods without a heartbeat. He had a true knot in his cord (nobody knew) and the cord cinched as he descended. They had to rush me off to a crash c-section, pounding on all the doors to get any available nurse, and gave me general anesthesia to get baby out fast enough. I was doing fine up until that point, nothing to set off any alarms or that would have warranted a hospital transfer had I been at home (which was a 60-second drive to the hospital btw). 

With my second, I had an unplanned unmedicated birth (because it happened so fast), 30 minutes after arriving at the hospital. Some people love their unmedicated births but mine was traumatic and there's no way I'd turn down an epidural if I could get one for any future baby. 

Being informed is good and asking questions about risks of medical interventions is good. I don't know why the Duggars seem to favor home births so much, but my total guess is that they pay cash for medical bills and that has something to do with it.  

I'm still shocked that Jessa went for a home birth after her experience with Spurgeon.

Wow! That's so scary!!! That could have had a devastating ending had you had a home birth!! I'm so glad everyone was ok!!!! 

[Alicja]

I was a breech baby! I like to say it's because I'm a Libra and I have to do things in the most creative way possible

[ihaveanexamintwodays]

Any kids I ever have are going to be hospital births, most likely with epidural, as neat and sterile and nice as it can be (given the circumstances....). If it even looks like there's a possibility of a tear, you bet I'll be screaming (and future-hubby has already been instructed to join me) "CUT! CUT! CUT!" - childbirth shreds your lady parts enough as is, I'd rather have nicely-healing sutures than a tear *any* day. I 100% do not care what the OB does to me so long as it is safe and efficient haha

Honestly, if i didn't want at least one of my spawn to have (either my or my bf's) thick, dark, beautiful hair..... We may adopt ourselves a quiver instead lol

[candygirl200413]

So being a twin my brother who is the oldest came out naturally but I'm assuming my mom had an episiotomy (or he just ripped her coming out?) so she had stitches down there. Then they thought my umbilical cord was strangling and I was going into distress so she obviously had those stitches there too.

She was out of commission for 2-2.5 months. I apologize for the both of us rather often even if it was 25 years ago!

Women, we are a strong group! 

[Chewing Gum]

10 hours ago, SilverBeach said:

Questions regarding home birth:

Who cleans up the mess?

What is done with the afterbirth?

Who does stitches if needed?

 

 

The midwife, husband/partner and here (Netherlands) we have a postpartum kind of nurse that stays for the first three hours after birth and then 6/8h for the first 8 days. They usually are a Godsend.

Afterbirth: whatever you want with it:  some throw it in the trash, we burried it.

Stitches: the midwife unless it’s a grade three tear, then you’re off to the hospital.

[IntrinsicallyDisordered]

7 hours ago, Alicja said:

I was a breech baby! I like to say it's because I'm a Libra and I have to do things in the most creative way possible

I'm an Aries and was also breech, a butt first vaginal delivery (6lbs) in the hospital. Apparently I was so completely folded in half that when they tried to stretch me out to get my length, my legs kept popping back up to my ears   It's funny the way my mom tells it, I was the first, smallest, and easiest birth, no cutting, no complications.  My siblings were all born at home and there were complications for my mom with all, and also for the baby with one.  My mother never particularly wanted home births even though she's pretty crunchy, but my dad didn't want hospital bills   I have never been so relieved in my life as when I found out I wouldn't be disappointing my mom if I didn't have home births, because witnessing hers was more than a bit traumatizing (turned out I'm infertile so barring a miracle all that worry was for nothing!).

As to what happened to the afterbirth, my mother liked to bury it in the backyard underneath a favorite tree.  I don't know if she actually liked doing this or if she felt it was the best option.  My youngest brother was born in December and the ground was frozen, so she put it in a freezer bag in the back of the freezer and we all forgot about it...fast forward a couple years and my best friend was going through the freezer and asked what it was..."oh, that's C's placenta".  My mother thought it was hilarious, I was mortified, and all sleepovers happened at my friend's house from then on.

[just_ordinary]

4 hours ago, ihaveanexamintwodays said:

Any kids I ever have are going to be hospital births, most likely with epidural, as neat and sterile and nice as it can be (given the circumstances....). If it even looks like there's a possibility of a tear, you bet I'll be screaming (and future-hubby has already been instructed to join me) "CUT! CUT! CUT!" - childbirth shreds your lady parts enough as is, I'd rather have nicely-healing sutures than a tear *any* day. I 100% do not care what the OB does to me so long as it is safe and efficient haha

Honestly, if i didn't want at least one of my spawn to have (either my or my bf's) thick, dark, beautiful hair..... We may adopt ourselves a quiver instead lol

I am not sure if I remember it correct but the newest medical scientific research here seems to show, that small tears tend to heal faster and nicer than cuts. Something about „ripping lines“ in the tissue or so. Might be the same thing as why they mostly rip the uterus open in a c-section instead of only cutting it. But this is a rather new development - the tearing thing.