Seewalds 33: Schroedinger’s Uterus

[Chewing Gum]

13 hours ago, anjulibai said:

I don't recall, but did Jessa ever give any thoughts about the jewelry box story? Did she ever express regret? Apologize to Jana? 

The story is brought up all the time, but I never can recall if Jessa herself said anything about it. 

Yeah she spoke before or after Jana on some convention. So it’s on one of the 19kac episodes. Don’t know which one. 

[Iamtheway]

On 2018-05-10 at 7:23 PM, Joyfully_Unavailable said:

IIRC Joy said she and Austin were “pretty close” to the hospital which was 30 minutes away! In a medical emergency or botched homebirth, that seems like a long way away...

I can almost see the hospital from my house but it would never even cross my mind to give birth at home if I ever have another blessing. 

If shit hits the fan during delivery I want to be maximum 30 seconds from the operating room not 30 minutes. 

[CarrotCake]

2 hours ago, Iamtheway said:

I can almost see the hospital from my house but it would never even cross my mind to give birth at home if I ever have another blessing. 

If shit hits the fan during delivery I want to be maximum 30 seconds from the operating room not 30 minutes. 

I don't know yet since I don't have any kids (planned) but I can imagine the attractiveness of homebirth. Thinking now, I might also consider one when the time comes. I live 5minutes from the hospital but with 15minutes I would feel te same. Although, I might just change my mind if I am ever pregnant ;-)

That being said, homebirths are way more common here than in the US.

[Meggo]

1 hour ago, CarrotCake said:

I don't know yet since I don't have any kids (planned) but I can imagine the attractiveness of homebirth. Thinking now, I might also consider one when the time comes. I live 5minutes from the hospital but with 15minutes I would feel te same. Although, I might just change my mind if I am ever pregnant ;-)

That being said, homebirths are way more common here than in the US.

I can see the appeal too - being at home has to be so much nicer.
But - I also like the idea of a birthing center that at least LOOKS like home ... but it attached to a hospital - with real live medical professionals attached....

I know birth is natural and all - but so is death. So - I'd prefer to have someone who knows what they're doing. (and I'm completely open to a midwife, doula etc. but - can we be IN a facility please?)

Not that I'm giving birth anytime soon - unexplained infertility - if I ended up pregnant - you'd likely have to peel me off the damn floor.

 

[SweetJuly]

Frankly, I have been so disappointed with the prenatal care here in Belgium so far (not so much with the actual medical side, but with the emotional support and kindness of the health care providers) that I dread having to give birth in a hospital here. I would love a home birth, but as this is my first birth I feel I should seek the safety of a medical facility.

Sometimes I daydream about running off to Israel or Germany, countries with whose health care systems I am familiar and somehow feel more comfortable with, and giving birth in a hospital there. Cost-wise there would be no issues, and my parents say it's a viable option and I should consider it...

The sensible choice for me would be to give birth in a hospital that knows me, my pregnancy, and that is close to our home. On the other hand my heart keeps telling me to go "home"

[Pretzel]

18 minutes ago, SweetJuly said:

Frankly, I have been so disappointed with the prenatal care here in Belgium so far (not so much with the actual medical side, but with the emotional support and kindness of the health care providers) that I dread having to give birth in a hospital here. I would love a home birth, but as this is my first birth I feel I should seek the safety of a medical facility.

Sometimes I daydream about running off to Israel or Germany, countries with whose health care systems I am familiar and somehow feel more comfortable with, and giving birth in a hospital there. Cost-wise there would be no issues, and my parents say it's a viable option and I should consider it...

The sensible choice for me would be to give birth in a hospital that knows me, my pregnancy, and that is close to our home. On the other hand my heart keeps telling me to go "home"

Are you living near the border? Would it be possible for you to get prenatal care from maybe a doctor in Germany but close to you and then deliver in a midwife-led delivery center in a German hospital where that doctor has privileges? 

[AtlanticTug]

I've always found it really interesting to talk to people who had very specific ideas about their birth plans, where they wanted them, how, etc. We needed 5 fresh IVF cycles, 3 frozen cycles and had 6 miscarriages by the time we were done having our 2 kids. We spent well over $100K out of pocket and it took the better part of the first 5 years of our marriage. One of our babies was a preemie, both were high risk pregnancies. I honestly ONLY cared that I walked away with a safely delivered baby. It never occurred to me that I would be upset because I couldn't do it at home or in a bathtub or with three doulas or with essential oils or in the dark or whatever. I didn't have that luxury and I never, not for a second, felt any regret or sadness about the experience. I feel badly for my friends who were depressed that they ended up with c-sections, or who cried for weeks because they didn't want to be hooked up to an IV but had to be (Strep B for example). I feel like I missed that entire bit of pregnancy anxiety.

[Chewing Gum]

1 hour ago, SweetJuly said:

Frankly, I have been so disappointed with the prenatal care here in Belgium so far (not so much with the actual medical side, but with the emotional support and kindness of the health care providers) that I dread having to give birth in a hospital here. I would love a home birth, but as this is my first birth I feel I should seek the safety of a medical facility.

Sometimes I daydream about running off to Israel or Germany, countries with whose health care systems I am familiar and somehow feel more comfortable with, and giving birth in a hospital there. Cost-wise there would be no issues, and my parents say it's a viable option and I should consider it...

The sensible choice for me would be to give birth in a hospital that knows me, my pregnancy, and that is close to our home. On the other hand my heart keeps telling me to go "home"

If you’re interested in reading up about your rights in childbirth, I suggest you join “geboortebeweging” on Fb. You can talk English there if you prefer that. Belgium is very anti-homebirth as the country is very pro “yes heer doktoor”, and without questions asked woman tend to follow whatever medical interventions the doc orders. I’m Dutch and although our hospitals are pretty much 50/50% we do have excellent midwife-led care that maybe an option for you, if you are anywhere near the Dutch border? There are a few midwives in Belgium that do homebirths though! 

[karen77]

I definitely wanted to be in a hospital, for risks for course and for the fact that I really wanted a damn epidural. best thing ever.

[SweetJuly]

59 minutes ago, Chewing Gum said:

If you’re interested in reading up about your rights in childbirth, I suggest you join “geboortebeweging” on Fb. You can talk English there if you prefer that. Belgium is very anti-homebirth as the country is very pro “yes heer doktoor”, and without questions asked woman tend to follow whatever medical interventions the doc orders. I’m Dutch and although our hospitals are pretty much 50/50% we do have excellent midwife-led care that maybe an option for you, if you are anywhere near the Dutch border? There are a few midwives in Belgium that do homebirths though! 

 

1 hour ago, Pretzel said:

Are you living near the border? Would it be possible for you to get prenatal care from maybe a doctor in Germany but close to you and then deliver in a midwife-led delivery center in a German hospital where that doctor has privileges? 

Thank you so much, both of you! 

I will look into your suggestions, but as we are based in Brussels, neither going to Germany or the Netherlands seems to be much of an option considering I'll be around 1h30 from the nearest hospital there at best But thank you again for your kind words and support!

[lumpentheologie]

On 5/14/2018 at 9:07 AM, victoriasponge said:

You did! Effect = noun: 'the' effect or 'an' effect. Affect = verb: 'to' affect, 'he' affected etc.

 

I don't mean to nitpick, but both effect and affect can be both nouns and verbs, although most commonly effect is a noun and affect is a verb.  Effect as a verb means to bring something about or cause it to happen, and affect as a noun means an emotion or an outward emotional appearance (and has the stress on the first syllable). 

[kachuu]

I'm going to be so honest as I am in my 38th week of my first pregnancy... I'm literally smirking at reading birth plans (here or elsewhere on the internet) now....

Oh how i had the "ideal" labor and birth plan going in my head. And you know what happened? The baby decided to be breech and I'm going to have a C-section next week. Highly unlikely he'll flip. He's much too comfortable in my ribs (and man do i feel it)

So to all you future momas out there: be prepared to throw that lovely plan out the damn window.  Baby is going to do whatever the hell baby wants to do. I'm not mad at all my birth plan went up in flames. Not even a little bit. Nope. No frustration on this end....

 

Healthy baby is all that matters. Healthy baby is all that matters...

[VelociRapture]

My “plan” was for me and baby to get through the birth healthy and safely. I’m pretty sure I actually told my Doctors to just do whatever they needed to get her here safely. That turned out to be a good attitude to have because I had only just started reading about the physical birthing process when I ended up in the hospital and found out I was in labor six weeks early. I had no warning signs that I was at risk for a preterm delivery - one of my Doctors actually said I was having a textbook perfect pregnancy at what turned out to be my final appointment. 

So while I understand why many women have plans and want things to go a certain way, I’m also a big believer in remaining flexible enough to keep everyone healthy and safe too.

37 minutes ago, kachuu said:

I'm going to be so honest as I am in my 38th week of my first pregnancy... I'm literally smirking at reading birth plans (here or elsewhere on the internet) now....

Oh how i had the "ideal" labor and birth plan going in my head. And you know what happened? The baby decided to be breech and I'm going to have a C-section next week. Highly unlikely he'll flip. He's much too comfortable in my ribs (and man do i feel it)

So to all you future momas out there: be prepared to throw that lovely plan out the damn window.  Baby is going to do whatever the hell baby wants to do. I'm not mad at all my birth plan went up in flames. Not even a little bit. Nope. No frustration on this end....

 

Healthy baby is all that matters. Healthy baby is all that matters...

Healthy baby isn’t the only thing that matters - making sure the mother gets through the birth healthy and safe is incredibly important as well. 

(Best of luck by the way! I hope everything goes as smoothly as possible for you!  )

[Natalie22]

13 hours ago, Chewing Gum said:

Yeah she spoke before or after Jana on some convention. So it’s on one of the 19kac episodes. Don’t know which one. 

I remember her coming off as if she was slightly embarrassed by it, but didn't really see it as a big deal.  She definitely didn't seem moved when Jana starting crying while telling the story.  I think she said she was a bit nicer to Jana after she gave her the jewelry box, but it didn't seem as if she grasped what a big deal it was for Jana and I doubt that it lasted for long.  

[mango_fandango]

I am not pregnant and haven't ever been (although I would like children). I can't imagine having much of a birth plan. I imagine I'd want my partner/husband to be there, but aside from that... I'd be flexible. I truly understand why some women want to be as detailed as possible, but really, anything can happen in labour. My mum's labour with me was quite long, and I was spine-to-spine. Not so sure with my brother, but I do know he had to spend a brief period in NICU (not preemie, and no lasting/major health issues, Mum just said he was spotty and he needed medicine of some kind). By contrast, my cousin was very fast (4 hours) and needed both forceps and a ventouse. His younger brother was induced. Every birth is different. 

Good luck to all pregnant FJers! 

[feministxtian]

When I was pregnant with my last one, birth plans were just coming into vogue. My OB at the time asked me if I had any plans for the birth...my response was "remove it any way you have to"...

#2 son was a mover and shaker in the womb. My OB and I would joke that he was some sort of alien baby that was going to pop through my belly button. She'd have to chase him down to get his heartbeat and occasionally actually hold him still. I should have known then...he was also my UGLIEST newborn...he needed a haircut, had the biggest eyes you've ever seen and his forehead was all bruised from his fat head (14.5") meeting my tailbone on the way out. He's absolutely gorgeous now but man, those first few months were rough. 

[coffeebean7]

I'm all for home births if monitored by someone competent/qualified. However, I'm so thankful I never tried to go that route. So not for me. 

My oldest son wouldn't be alive if we weren't in the hospital and they weren't constantly monitoring. I *hated* that monitor but if I had the random monitoring that I had envisioned, we wouldn't have picked up on the periods without a heartbeat. He had a true knot in his cord (nobody knew) and the cord cinched as he descended. They had to rush me off to a crash c-section, pounding on all the doors to get any available nurse, and gave me general anesthesia to get baby out fast enough. I was doing fine up until that point, nothing to set off any alarms or that would have warranted a hospital transfer had I been at home (which was a 60-second drive to the hospital btw). 

With my second, I had an unplanned unmedicated birth (because it happened so fast), 30 minutes after arriving at the hospital. Some people love their unmedicated births but mine was traumatic and there's no way I'd turn down an epidural if I could get one for any future baby. 

Being informed is good and asking questions about risks of medical interventions is good. I don't know why the Duggars seem to favor home births so much, but my total guess is that they pay cash for medical bills and that has something to do with it.  

I'm still shocked that Jessa went for a home birth after her experience with Spurgeon.

[ViolaSebastian]

Sorry to go off (on?) topic, but this caught my eye. It seems that Jessa and Ben are selling some of the land that Grandma Mary gave them.

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2018/05/jessa-duggar-ben-seewald-real-estate-scandal-counting-on/

[singsingsing]

I’m confused as to how this would be a scandal. It’s basically the equivalent of Grandma Mary selling the land herself and giving them the profits as a gift. I mean the woman isn’t dumb enough to think the land was actually worth one dollar, and what did she expect, they would live on it forever? Lol. Tabloids...

[Kittikatz]

I don't fathom how selling land is a scandal. There are enough real scandals in this family without making drama about nothing.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

2 hours ago, feministxtian said:

When I was pregnant with my last one, birth plans were just coming into vogue. My OB at the time asked me if I had any plans for the birth...my response was "remove it any way you have to"...

#2 son was a mover and shaker in the womb. My OB and I would joke that he was some sort of alien baby that was going to pop through my belly button. She'd have to chase him down to get his heartbeat and occasionally actually hold him still. I should have known then...he was also my UGLIEST newborn...he needed a haircut, had the biggest eyes you've ever seen and his forehead was all bruised from his fat head (14.5") meeting my tailbone on the way out. He's absolutely gorgeous now but man, those first few months were rough. 

My daughter was not a pretty newborn either, thankfully she got pretty cute pretty quick, aside from her pus-y eye (clogged tear duct that caused her eye to weep and get red and puffy). I praise Rufus every day I had c/sections she was my biggest baby with at over 9 lbs and had a 15.5" head, her brother was a pound lighter but still had a 15" head.  I couldn't get that out after 4 hours of pushing, ,I can't imagine that 1/2 in smaller would make that any less easy. But he was a cutie from birth. 

45 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

I’m confused as to how this would be a scandal. It’s basically the equivalent of Grandma Mary selling the land herself and giving them the profits as a gift. I mean the woman isn’t dumb enough to think the land was actually worth one dollar, and what did she expect, they would live on it forever? Lol. Tabloids...

I think most here speculated that the house and land were "gifted" to J&B and they would sell it to buy their bigger baby factory house. I don't see this as scandalous at all, families do this all the time, and in this case it was probably a tax deal fro the LLC that Boob owns that owned the house.  

[feministxtian]

my boys, this was taken about 5 years ago when my mother died. The tall one started out at 7lbs and 19 inches long, the little one was the fat headed, alien baby

[Carm_88]

I was breech, came out feet first, which my Dad insists is why I have to do everything ass backwards in life! Luckily I was only 5 pounds and they managed to grab my feet and haul me out. I was my parents first born child so I thought they would tell me how beautiful I was. My Dad has told me that I looked like a little old man, I was bald as a cueball, when I came out I was red and angry, also quite ugly. I asked why as a toddler, I always had my arms out in pictures and his response was "Oh your pediatrician said that you would grow out of it. You walked like Charlie Chaplin." 

Note here, my dad isn't mean. I've seen pictures of myself as a newborn and I had a head on me like a football. I got a bit squashed from being the wrong way and I was quite red. I was definitely an old man baby. Once I got older and a bit more responsive, I looked less like a potato. 

[Bethella]

1 hour ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

I think most here speculated that the house and land were "gifted" to J&B and they would sell it to buy their bigger baby factory house. I don't see this as scandalous at all, families do this all the time, and in this case it was probably a tax deal fro the LLC that Boob owns that owned the house.  

Jim Bob never owned the house. It was purchased by Michelle's parents, Garrett & Ethel Ruark in 1990. In 2007 Garrett sold to Grandma, who allowed Josh & Anna to live there. After Josh and Anna went to D.C., there was an interim renter before Jessa & Ben lived there. Grandma sold it to Jessa and Ben 6/27/17, the warrenty deed read "$1 and other considerations" but the estimated sale price/value was $100,000.

[kiwi]

I was breech csection baby. My first was also breech til 30 weeks, I had a very uneventful hospital birth - i had wanted to try a water birth but our maternity unit at the hospital was chocka block full and I ended up giving birth in a post natal room in under 2hrs from arriving at the hospital. Number 2 was born at 34 weeks so no chance of a water birth and number three i made it til 36w5d (close enough to 37 weeks for my midwife!),  I had her at home - we lived a couple of minutes drive from the hospital. I had everything packed ready to go, always of the intention to jump ship if needed. I had baby at 245am, no obgyns are at the hospital 24/7 the closest one lived 15mins away, so in the event of an emergency we would have made it well before him. Her pregnancy was a difficult one, bedrest for more than half, my body wanted her born well before time. so to make 36-ish weeks was a miracle! We were out at the supermarket as a family at 1pm lol!!  

 

Im pro choice, making safe choices for yourself, your baby and your current family! Certainly no extra brownie points for natural, home births!