Lori Alexander 44: Ken Galloping Off on the Horse of Truth The Feminists Are Coming!

[livinglongerthanyou]

19 hours ago, onemama said:

I went to the interlinear here: http://biblehub.com/interlinear/1_timothy/5.htm

I see no pronouns. οἰκείων is genitive and is the same across all three genders, so it doesn't point towards "his" as the interlinear translation would have it.  ἤρνηται is translated as "he has denied", but there is no gender there.. 

In my opinion, both men and women who were able to work were busy working and caring for those under their care.  Jesus rebuked the pharisees for not honoring and providing for their parents, so it makes sense that the apostle Paul would also point out that not caring for the aged and widowed (who couldn't provide for themselves) was the same as denying the faith. 

How would a woman be able to provide for those in her care if she didn't have the means to do so? Ruth gleaned in a field to provide for her mother in law and was commended for her faithfulness, so why shouldn't we work for money to be able to support our parents? That's what I'm planning to do. 

You're right about these people building doctrines on a handful of verses or even one lonely verse.  It's frustrating.   When Ken offered to have private conversations over our grievances with Lori's blog, I took him up on his offer and sent him a message with a list of my grievances.  Among them was my frustration with her use of Bible verses picked out of context.  I've given up on trying to dialogue throught these differences because I realize we read the Bible very differently.  I was accused of wanting to water down the truth when I encouraged him to take a few steps back and look at the full passage.   Lori will go on proof texting and all I can do is avoid her teaching.  There are much better teachers out there. 

Thank you for digging deep and going back to the original languages. This is what is missing in Christianity in general, and in Ken and Lori's version of it specifically. I am not religious, but I am spiritual, preferring to follow the traditions of my Native ancestors. 

Words have meaning and historical context and that has been lost as one translation of the Bible replaces another. 

The best example I can give is if you and I were friends and I was writing you a letter. I might sign it "love" or some other common term of endearment. Originally though, my people would have said (oral traditions usurped written of course) "Msit No'kmaq", which means "all my relations". The meaning behind that phrase is deep, honorable and powerful, for it means we are connected now; in the past through our ancestors and in the future through our children. It is a profound phrase and one which I use to try and help people see how cherished they are and how we are all connected. 

I think the original 40 authors of the Bible must have used similar words and phrases in an attempt to love; to teach; to rebuke and to exhort, but all that understanding is lost in the one hour sermon on Sunday mornings. 

[livinglongerthanyou]

16 hours ago, polecat said:

As a fellow chronic pain sufferer, yeah. 

Chronic migraines here as well as a disorder that causes pain in subcutaneous tissue. If my brain isn't hurting, the rest of my body does. And anything between 4-7 is pretty much a normal day. I have to work, take care of my kids, take care of my house, etc. Sometimes things just don't get done if the pain is really bad (like an 8 or 9) -- if the house gets trashed so that I have the energy to go to my kid's drama production, then that's what's going to happen. So be it.

In normal situations, I'd never begrudge a fellow pain sufferer the "luxury" of lying down and preserving their precious energy. You do what you've got to do. But in Lori's case, I find all of her stories suspect. As you said, that pain sure does crop up conveniently when it's time for someone else to be the center of attention. 

And see, that's another thing that strikes me as off: Most people I know with chronic pain go to an awful lot of effort to "fake well," which we do so that our health doesn't become the central topic of conversation or other people's concerns. Not Lori, oh hell no -- she feeds off that shit. 

I am heart sore that you suffer chronic pain. I do as well - in a nutshell I am going blind, I have a pulmonary disease (never smoked in this life, but I damn well will in the next!) and the O2 and CO2 sensors in my brain stem are broken. I live with low oxygen levels and so carbon dioxide builds up in my body, which in turn becomes lactic acid. Picture how sore you've been after the hardest work out you may have experienced and multiple it by 100. Some days I feel like if I move, my bones will break. I wake up in pain, live in pain and go to sleep in pain. And it sucks, but like you, I chose my important life activities and the rest be damned. 

I have learned to modify activities so I can still do the things I loved to do before I got sick - hunt, fish, trap, dogsled. I am slow as fuck and use my ATV, a scope even on my .22 and I mostly ride in the sled, but I'm still out there. My attitude is that I am going to hurt whether I sit on the couch or get outside, so I might as well be outside. It's almost, sort of spring here and soon topless gardening will begin. If I am going to die, I hope they find me tits up in the garden; that lovely sun beating down on my tired body; dirt under my fingernails and a smile plastered on my face. 

My house is a disaster, but we have downsized to about 700 sq ft and I have an amazing, supportive husband. 

Personally I think Lori is full of shit and I don't think she experiences pain anything beyond a regular headache. She does inflict a ton of pain and suffering though. 

 

[livinglongerthanyou]

11 hours ago, Curious said:

If I am at a 3 or under I consider it pain free.  I can tolerate up to about a 7 without needing to take break thru meds.  Now that I have meds, if I hit 8+ I take a break thru pill because it's stupid to suffer when I don't have to (though my husband/friends still have to remind me about that sometimes)

We haven't always agreed, but I really am sorry you suffer. Chronic pain sufferers forget to be kind to themselves - take medicine when you need it. 

11 hours ago, Curious said:

The weather here has been very rainy and I've been running 4-5 the last few days.  I notice the difference, but it's not bad enough for extra meds (I like my liver and kidneys so try not to heap extra abuse on them ).

I'm hoping you will find this funny......I have taken my pain meds because today was a rough day and I need some uninterrupted sleep.....when you said you liked your liver and kidney I flashed to "Silence of the Lambs" which I recently watched. LOL

[Sarah92]

I just want to say I appreciate all the people sharing their experiences with anxiety, depression, and even physical pain. From experience I know it can be hard to talk about. When people see it as a weakness or misjudge it as Lori does (and many churches and people in general) it can be uncomfortable to raise your hand and say "me too, I struggle with this". 

I tend to have some anxiety that is connected with some low level OCD like checking behavior. Meaning I'll check over and over if doors are locked, if the oven is off etc. Right now it's not bad. But I've had times where it would take over an hour to get to sleep checking alarms, stoves, and doors before I could head to bed. Sometimes I'd want to cry in frustration because I know the stove isn't turned on but I feel like I need to check just in case. As someone going for a degree in counseling, I at times, find it ironic that I struggle with this. However, it helps me understand the fact that people can't just switch off behaviors. Even constant prayer doesn't always take it away, nor does just being a better Christian. It takes time, effort, and changes in thoughts and feelings. 

I personally bought a worry stone that I can mess with. I also use deep breathing YouTube exercises and some muscle relaxation exercises as my anxiety manifests as tightness in the chest and shoulders. 

( Disclaimer: I offer none of this as a professional counselor, only what I personally do and find helpful.) 

[livinglongerthanyou]

12 hours ago, Curious said:

I, too, would normally allow quite a lot of latitude toward a chronic pain sufferer, but there is something about Lori's stories that just don't make sense and we know she is prone to lying/contradicting/hypocrisy.

I find her story about "parasites" to be suspicious as well.  If I had "parasites" I would say I had a tapeworm or I was walking barefoot outside at picked up hookworms (which thankfully has never happened to me!).  She never names the "parasites" and I also find it a bit hard to believe that she and at least several of her children had an active "parasite" infestation and Drs weren't falling all over each other to figure out what was going on.  They live in California, not a developing country which may have medical facilities few and far between.

TL;DR: I think Lori is a liar

Lori is full of shit.

And yes, the parasite thing was very weird. Every time I read that about her, I think of the quarterly deworming we do with the dogs. LOL. 

 

[Liza]

The Transformed Wife:

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"Many want to claim that God’s Word is hard to understand and that it is open to one’s interpretation or in other words “one’s opinions.” But that is not so. To determine what the Bible is teaching is not a difficult task if one is to accept what it states at face value without interjecting opinion or wishful thinking."

Ken's response to all the naysayers:

https://thetransformedwife.com/basing-our-lives-upon-truth-or-opinions/

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here is the jist of it:   They are fundamentalists, BUT, a special flavour with cultish views.  In any case, it is always a no-win situation because the fundamentalist will say:   'I am right.  You are wrong.  The Bible said it and that settles it.'   They always have the "truth".  

"Fundamentalism is to religion what paint-by-number is to art"  (author unknown).

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

This fangirl comment from the "homeworking" doodle infuriates me and makes me so sad.  We're supposed to think this is a good thing and emulate this???!!    Eff NO.

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32 yrs....quit school to raise my little brother and sister in middle school...then since then 1995 to now 2018 raising my five precious children and two with autism! Wouldn't have it any other way....been raising babies since I was nine yrs old....

 

[smittykins]

That reminds me of the section of Quiverfull about the nine-year-old girl who couldn't read yet, but was a sister-mom to her younger siblings. I sincerely hope she didn't actually exist. 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

In her post today I can't tell what she is quoting and what is hers. I think its all quotes but since she sucks at quotation marks I can't tell. But no wonder she loves this author Mary Pride. 

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Picture a housewife coming home with bags of food, having stopped off at the supermarket first, then the health food store (because yeast and other bulk items are cheaper there), and the produce market (for fresh fruit and vegetables), and you’ve got it. This the the picture of the Proverbs 31 woman is trying to convey.

This is exactly how Lori shops. This is the godly way to shop they think. And NO NO NO, this is not what Prov 31 is trying to convey. 

[Briefly]

13 hours ago, Koala said:

Lori's "homeworker" post on FB is a complete joke.  She wouldn't know work if it bit her.

While Lori was enjoying her carpet that "never needs to be vacuumed", wiping her counters with rags she honestly thinks don't need to be washed, and eating week old soup and salad, I was doing...actual work.

I taught my kids the wonder that is making freezer meals, today.  Last night my husband and I went on a "date" to Sam's to buy all of the ingredients and containers.

Then today we made manicotti, baked spaghetti, chili, hashbrown casserole, shepherd's pie, enchiladas, a breakfast casserole,  2 dinners worth of vegetable beef soup, and pulled pork.  We made a hell of a mess doing it, but it's all done, cleaned, and in the freezer now (thank God).  

While we cooked, I explained to my daughter that make ahead freezer meals were a great way for moms w/ careers to save time and make their lives easier.  You see, while I may be a sahm, my daughter wants to go into the medical field.  I think sometimes she worries about how she'll do it all, since I've always been a sahm, but I assure her that she is going to be just fine (and she is!).  

While various things cooked, my daughter did her own laundry, cleaned her room, and read a book she got for her birthday.  She loved learning all of the recipes, and I could tell she really enjoyed the day.  So did I.  

All of that said, my daughter doesn't need to skip college to learn how to keep a house- she already knows how to do that, and so does my son.  In fact, both of my teenage children know how to cook and keep a house.  

I am so proud of my kids, and my heart breaks for the girls who desperately want college and careers, but have the opportunity literally robbed from them by their parents.  It's not right.  

And can I just say again that the idea of Lori being a "homeworker" is a complete joke?  Because it is.  

 

I love everything you said!

Shortly I'm going to go make a few things to put in the freezer for meals/lunches for the week, incidentally.

[Liza]

54 minutes ago, Briefly said:

All of that said, my daughter doesn't need to skip college to learn how to keep a house- she already knows how to do that, and so does my son.  In fact, both of my teenage children know how to cook and keep a house.  

@Briefly  The goal has always been upward mobility, but the folks on Lori's site seem to purposefully aim the other way.  It makes no sense.  What is awful is that they actually think educating a girl is a loss.  It never is.  Even if that female never  works, she will have developed many important skills to get her through life which will make her a better wife and mother.

  I think the big fear is that if their kids get educated, they just might think for themselves ..  what they stupidly call "the ways of the world".   It is a way to control  .. to keep them in the fray.   It has nothing to do with love.  As much as they honour having lots of children, they do not seem to see those children as people separate from themselves who have rights.  Saddest of all, they think this is a good thing.  I still do not understand the twisted thinking.  I read what they say and I think wtf!  Are they nuts?  This is not religion: it is pathology.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

@Koala

I gave credit to you here. 

https://thingsgodlywomensay.wordpress.com/2018/04/29/arrogant-alexnaders/

The link has their name spelled wrong but its corrected in my post title. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

@Liza Yes x 1000! 

I also think these fundies see any kind of success from the children as being disrespectful to the father, to the patriarchy.

If you do better than dad you know more than dad.  And that's impossible, because dad is the head of everything and everyone and he alone knows best about everything.  If a child succeeds more than dad it calls dad's manly godly headship into question.

It seems as if many of the fundies we follow believe that the children, whether married or not, are forever under the headship of the dad,

[EowynW]

When we got married, we almost had to go into section 8 housing. Neither of our fundie parents saw anything wrong with that. They were happy that their grown up stay at home godly kids were starting at such a low level. I'm still all WTF about that. 

[jerkit]

have we talked about the fact that thetransformedwife Instagram doesn’t follow alyssa? She does follow Cassi, both of Emily's accounts, and a couple of the cousins that are Lori’s kids’ ages

[usmcmom]

25 minutes ago, jerkit said:

have we talked about the fact that thetransformedwife Instagram doesn’t follow alyssa? She does follow Cassi, both of Emily's accounts, and a couple of the cousins that are Lori’s kids’ ages

Very interesting. Maybe Alyssa has blocked her.

[Briefly]

4 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

@Liza Yes x 1000! 

I also think these fundies see any kind of success from the children as being disrespectful to the father, to the patriarchy.

If you do better than dad you know more than dad.  And that's impossible, because dad is the head of everything and everyone and he alone knows best about everything.  If a child succeeds more than dad it calls dad's manly godly headship into question.

It seems as if many of the fundies we follow believe that the children, whether married or not, are forever under the headship of the dad,

My parents raised us with the idea that we would do better than they did, just like their parents wanted for them. We want our daughter to do better than we did, we did fine but we still want her to be her best. I think you are spot-on about this.

[ItsaJjungle]

14 hours ago, livinglongerthanyou said:

If I am going to die, I hope they find me tits up in the garden; that lovely sun beating down on my tired body; dirt under my fingernails and a smile plastered on my face. 

This made my day (not that I want you to die or anything!!). I hope we all die tits up doing something we love! When I had my last baby, the guy doing my spinal couldn’t get it in, and after an hour and more than a dozen jabs in my back and a worried expression on my OB’s face, I remember thinking, “okay...this is how I’m going to die. Undignified, ass exposed, pregnanter than anyone should ever be allowed to be and scared to death. This isn’t what I wanted, but dammit, I’m gonna be brave and not start sobbing like I really really want to because dying bravely would be better than dying snotty.” What I should’ve done was sat up, told that bastard to get his hands off my spine and call an expert. Haha (he was a really kind doctor, and got the best doctor at the hospital to come and do a blood patch after I suffered a terrible spinal headache from his torture). But in my terror, I became like a meek child ready to go to my grave. Anyway...that’s a long and pointless story just to say that I love your spark. And I’m stealing some of it for myself (I might need it since I’m headed back to the hospital for another csection in a few weeks). 

[Koala]

2 hours ago, usmcmom said:

Very interesting. Maybe Alyssa has blocked her.

Nope.  Lori *very occasionally* likes something Alyssa posts.

More likely, it's Lori's stupid way of expressing her disapproval, but I have news for her- If anyone should be ashamed of anyone else, her family should be ashamed of her!  

The fact that she goes around treating her family like that just burns me up.  I genuinely hope that Alyssa sees her for what she truly is, and isn't hurt by Lori's rejection.  

[Koala]

As a side note, Lori has long established that her relationship w/ her oldest daughter has been rocky.

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Someone else raised her the first two years of her life while I worked as a teacher 

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Alyssa was definitely the one born with the strongest will in our family

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Alyssa took a lot more discipline, guidance, and talking to than our other three.  I barely had to look at Cassi and she would obey me.  She was a very easy child to raise.  Alyssa received more spankings than the others. 

Notice how she pits the sisters against each other?  Cassi was "easy" to raise, but Alyssa had a strong will, so Lori just had to hit her more often that the other three children.

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Unfortunately, I cut the strings with my oldest daughter when she was younger. As she was growing up and was going through the difficult teenage years of insecurity, instead of drawing her to me through affection and love, I pushed her away from me by being upset often with her.

Makes you really wonder about all of the times that Lori has asserted that she was a "great mother".

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How does a parent break those strings? By being harsh, mean, argumentative, distant, cold, aloof, upset, and/or  not affectionate with their children.

Sounds just like Lori, and I am not surprised at all.  

I really hope that Alyssa realizes that the problem is Lori, not her.

[Frog99]

5 hours ago, usmcmom said:

Very interesting. Maybe Alyssa has blocked her.

Lori has a personal page and she follows Alyssa from that page. 

What is interesting is that Erin follows Lori’s personal page. Neither Lori nor Ken follow her. 

[cara]

I've seen Lori comment using her personal page, but always presumed she avoids it because she doesn't want people seeing Alyssa's clothes and lifestyle. She needn't bother, I think everyone's seen her daughter's page at this stage.  Ken refuses to address it, or tries to deflect anytime he's asked about it. 

Interesting to hear her talk about 'cutting strings' and arguing with her teenagers because her usual stance is that all her children were perfect and never rebelled ever. It must be really weird for her children and extended family to constantly read conflicting or outright false retellings of their lives. How confusing that must be. 

[polecat]

15 hours ago, jerkit said:

have we talked about the fact that thetransformedwife Instagram doesn’t follow alyssa? She does follow Cassi, both of Emily's accounts, and a couple of the cousins that are Lori’s kids’ ages

Alyssa always has positive, thoughtful posts. We can't be having that. 

[Sarah92]

Seriously, I followed Alyssa because I enjoy her feed. She's positive and says uplifting things. She seems to work hard for the things she has. I also want to support her as a small act of rebellion against Lori. 

[jerkit]

1 hour ago, polecat said:

Alyssa always has positive, thoughtful posts. We can't be having that. 

That and all the leggings, crop tops, wine drinking and working. 

I also follow alyssa because she lives a really fabulous life lol. Also, we have the same breed dog.