Stories Part 2

[47of74]

Yeah here comes Iowa Man wanting some attention.

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After realizing that dipping sauce was not included with his Chicken McNuggets order, an Iowa man called his local McDonald’s and threatened to blow up the restaurant, according to investigators.

Robert Golwitzer, 42, was arrested Saturday evening and charged with making a false report about an explosive or incendiary device, a felony.

Golwitzer allegedly phoned in a threat to a McDonald’s five miles from his home in Ankeny, a Des Moines suburb.

The threatening call to the restaurant was placed “from a phone number associated with [Golwitzer],” according to a criminal complaint. In addition to claiming that he would “blow up” the eatery, Golwitzer threatened to assault an employee, police say.

 

[47of74]

Yeah going through the Mickey D's drive in while you're being chased by cops is not a good idea.

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A woman in Worcester, Massachusetts,was reportedly arrested following an intense police chase after she stopped for food at a local McDonald's drive-thru.

According to a press release from the Worcester Police Department, a woman identified as 38-year-old Johanna Gardell was caught by officers pursuing her for allegedly stealing a company car in Worcester, which is located about 42 miles outside of Boston.

The chase reportedly came to an unconventional end, when Gardell entered a McDonald's drive-thru in the area "in an attempt to order food." Although she hit another vehicle and tried to escape, the car became stuck in a pile of mulch on the McDonald's property.

The Worcester Police Department also reported that Gardell has been arrested and is now facing more than a dozen charges, including failure to stop for police, assault and battery by means of a dangerous weapon—motor vehicle—and use of motor vehicle without authority.

I do wonder if this was an ex-Florida woman....

[47of74]

Iowa man rides again

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Robert Perez, 53, was driving a motorcycle in Iowa City on Thursday when cops pulled over the man, who they say was “making non-sensical actions” while on the road, according to the report.

Perez told an officer “a fellow meth user loaned him the vehicle,” according to the report, which notes the bike had been listed as stolen in a police database.

Following his arrest, Perez “admitted to injecting meth five hours prior” and had on him multiple syringe caps when searched, wrote arresting officer Daniel Boesen.

Another officer spotted Perez taking to Google to look up “how long meth stays in your system after initial consumption,” wrote Boesen.

 

[47of74]

Oklahoma woman wants her turn now.

 

[47of74]

Did Maude Lebowski inspire her?

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In a rather ironic turn of events, a statue in Santa Teresa Gallura, Italy, which was supposed to represent the Virgin Mary, has been viewed by the internet as instead looking like a rather crude body part.

Sculptor Maria Scanu may have hoped that the statue would promote a religious message, however most people are seeing it as anything but that.

The accidentally risqué statue has amassed more than 34,700 upvotes and 1,800 comments on Reddit, with users flocking to the comments in confused amazement at how the statue is supposed to represent the religious figure. One wrote: ‘I think Maria knew exactly what she did.’

 

[47of74]

Tatman arrested for Robbin in Kentucky

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A man named Tatman was wearing a Batman shirt when arrested for robbin’, records show.

Seen above, Alan Tatman, 46, was busted Wednesday for allegedly pilfering merchandise worth more than $500 from a Target store in Lexington, Kentucky. 

Of course he's on probation for prior felony convictions. 

[47of74]

Iowa woman had to make a contribution to the stupid and prove to Florida woman Iowa could hold its own ground.

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Police said that a woman was arrested for stealing a smoker from a Dubuque grocery store.

Since the local newspaper is pay-walled with no guest or so many articles a month option....basically she took her vehicle to a local grocery store, took the $16,000 smoker on a trailer, hitched it to her own vehicle, and drove off.  All while security cameras were watching and able to ID her.  Along with the vehicle's movements all being tracked. 

My suggestion for a free legal tip was that one should make sure to check to see if the security cameras are all working before doing something like this.

[47of74]

My apologies, I meant to stick this story about Florida Woman over here...

 

Edited September 13, 2021 by 47of74

[47of74]

A tired Indiana man will have lots of time to rest in a jail cell.

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An Indiana man who repeatedly called 911 to inform police operators that he was "tired" will spend the next two months resting up in a county jail, according to court records.

Daniel Schroeder, 61, was arrested Tuesday night at his Evansville home in connection with a quartet of calls placed that evening to the police emergency line.

Schroeder’s calls about his weariness came a day after he pleaded guilty to a prior misuse of the 911 system. In the earlier case, he copped to calling police to report that he was upset that a female relative “was not following his rules.”

A judge ordered Schroeder to serve six months in jail, but suspended imposition of the sentence “on the condition the deft does not call 911 unless it is an emergency.”

Yeah, he lasted about a day before he called 911 again to further complain that he was tired.  Genius there got the suspension revoked so now he'll be getting to sleep it off in jail.

[47of74]

Meanwhile down in Missouri. 

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A sheriff's office in Missouri posted a helpful reminder for those trying to sell items online: make sure your drugs aren't visible in your photos.

The Stone County Sheriff's Office said a man listed a catalytic converter on Facebook Marketplace on Tuesday.

The online ad included a photo of the box, but in the background, a "large bag of meth and syringe" were clearly visible on the coffee table.

A citizen who spotted the drugs sent a tip to the sheriff's office, who showed up the next day at the man's door.

Genius here is also a convicted felon. And yep, they found he had a firearm too. 

[clueliss]

That hit my Facebook feed this morning.  Stone county is southern Missouri in the table rock lake area bordering Arkansas.  

[47of74]

William Shatner went to space on the penis rocket

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Anytime I think there’s a chance we’re not living in a simulation, something happens to blow that out of the water. Today, it was 90-year-old Star Trek actor and Priceline “negotiator” William Shatner going to actual space.

The nonagenarian, who many fellow olds remember as Captain James T. Kirk from both the Star Trek films and TV series, became the oldest person to go into space on Wednesday when he boarded Amazon founder Jeff Bezos’ dick-shaped rocket for a 10-minute flight.

In a surprise to absolutely no one, Bezos is reportedly a lifelong Star Trek fan, so now he’s now trying to turn it into a reality show. Bezos he flew Shatner as a comped guest alongside Chris Boshuizen, a co-founder of satellite company Planet Labs, and software executive Glen de Vries (who CNN notes were “both paying customers”) as well as Audrey Powers, Blue Origin’s vice president of mission and flight operations.

It’s just incredible irony that the Priceline guy who tried to sell us on affordable travel for years got launched into space for zero dollars. It’s also hilarious that Shatner’s intergalactic moment has been shaded by critics for his heavy-handedness with the block button on Twitter.

 

[47of74]

Not the brightest syndicate. 

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 A Denver grand jury indicted a group of 11 men and women on 91 criminal counts related to organized crime. The group, which self-identifies as “the Sopranos,” is accused of running a theft ring to support their drug habits. One of the suspects even has the words “Styles Soprano” tattooed on his forehead.

They’re accused of stealing more than $950,000 in motor vehicles, firearms, tools, financial transaction devices and other items between Feb. 19 and Sept. 29. Investigators say the group targeted Kias and Hyundais and used screwdrivers to break the ignition locks. They also allegedly stole credit cards from the vehicles.

According to the 67-page criminal indictment, members of the group gloated about their thievery on Facebook, even live streaming some crimes in progress. Facebook conversations as well as DNA evidence helped lead investigators to the suspects.

Investigators say the thieves used the proceeds of those thefts to support their fentanyl, heroin and methamphetamine addictions.

You’d think people would know that posting about crimes a, b, and c that you committed on FB would quickly become state’s exhibits 1, 2, and 3 but guess not. 

[Cartmann99]

1 hour ago, 47of74 said:

You’d think people would know that posting about crimes a, b, and c that you committed on FB would quickly become state’s exhibits 1, 2, and 3 but guess not. 

Especially after seeing how many of the January 6th insurrectionists have been tracked down because of their social media posts.

[mango_fandango]

Never forget how utterly stupid some people are. 

[47of74]

Yeah no surprise here

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The tri-state area finds itself in a familiar position: A recently released report lists four of the 10 counties in the Telegraph Herald coverage area among the 50 U.S. counties with the highest incidence of heavy drinking.

Forty-one of the 50 “drunkest” American counties are located in Wisconsin, including Iowa County (No. 11) and Grant County (No. 16), according to a study by the 24-7 Wall Street website. Dubuque County (No. 14) and Delaware County (No. 46) in Iowa also made the Top 50.

Data for the study came from County Health Rankings & Roadmaps, an initiative by Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and University of Wisconsin Population Health Institute.

Wisconsin communities figured prominently in the list, landing in the top 11 spots. Outagamie County topped the list.

 

[Cartmann99]

Texas woman arrested for brandishing loaded gun at 7-year-old trick-or-treater

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On Monday, KVUE reported that a woman from Buda, Texas was arrested after allegedly pointing a loaded-gun at a 7-year-old out trick-or-treating.

"The Hays County Sheriff's Office said deputies responded to the 100 block of Quarter Ave. around 7:20 p.m. Deputies determined a resident in the area was yelling at children who were walking outside her house trick-or-treating," reported KVUE's Jeff Bell. "The HCSO said 35-year-old Monica Ann Bradford exited her residence with a loaded weapon and pointed it at a 7-year-old."

According to the report, Bradford has been charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and booked into the Hays County Jail with bail set at $10,000.

Buda is a small town that includes some of the suburbs south of Austin.

The incident occurred after Texas Republicans this year enacted a new law allowing handguns to be carried without a permit or training.

 

[47of74]

Kentucky wants in on the fun

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A dispute over a borrowed sex toy ended with a Kentucky woman stabbing her male cousin with a kitchen knife, according to cops who arrested the alleged assailant on multiple criminal charges.

Police were dispatched late last month to a home in the city of Corbin after the occupant, Crystal Denham, called 911 to report that she had stabbed a relative.

Seen above, the 33-year-old Denham told officers that Michael Barton “had come to her residence and they had gotten into an argument over a sex toy,” according to a court citation. Specifically, Denham added, “she had borrowed it and he wanted it back.”

Sadly, the sex toy in question is not further described in the citation, which identifies Barton as Denham’s “cousin and neighbor.”

 

[Cartmann99]

34 minutes ago, 47of74 said:

Denham told officers that Michael Barton “had come to her residence and they had gotten into an argument over a sex toy,” according to a court citation. Specifically, Denham added, “she had borrowed it and he wanted it back.”

Imagine the conversations you'd hear at a family dinner where the cousins share sex toys.

[47of74]

25 minutes ago, Cartmann99 said:

Imagine the conversations you'd hear at a family dinner where the cousins share sex toys.

I think Thanksgiving will be a bit awkward this year. 

[Cartmann99]

6 minutes ago, 47of74 said:

I think Thanksgiving will be a bit awkward this year. 

Do not eat the turkey! Rufus only knows what's stuffed inside of it.

[Cartmann99]

Woman arrested after using RentAHitman.com to hire a hitman

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Wendy Lynn Wein, 52, of Rockwood, Michigan, wanted her ex-husband dead. Given that this is the age of online shopping, she visited RentAHitman.com to hire someone to do the deed. Unfortunately for her (but fortunately for her ex-husband), the site isn't really a way to link up with murderers but rather a "cybersecurity test site," according to local media. Wein completed a "service request form" to help with an "issue" involving her ex-husband. The site's owner was worried so he called the cops.

From MLive:

Despite using a pseudonym, Wein completed the request with her personal identifying information, officials said.

[…] An undercover officer posed as a hitman on July 17 and met with Wein in a South Rockwood parking lot, police said.

During the meeting, Wein offered the undercover officer $5,000 to kill her ex-husband and provided him with an upfront payment to cover travel expenses out of state, police said.

Wein has pled guilty to a solicitation of murder charge.

 

[47of74]

Rufus went to church!

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A 10-point buck sought sanctuary inside a church for the opening day of hunting season.

Pastors at Grace Sturgis, 300 Timothy Dr., walked into the auditorium Monday morning to a buck trying to find his way out, according to a video the church posted Nov. 15 on Facebook.

The buck made his visit on the first day of firearm deer hunting season in Michigan.

Pastor Amanda Eicher said she saw light in the auditorium that wasn’t supposed to be there when she walked into the church with pastors Luke Eicher and Justin Wickey on Monday morning.

Rufus bless!

[47of74]

Ouch

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The bomb squad was called to Gloucestershire Royal Hospital on Thursday (December 2), after a patient was admitted with a mortar shell stuck in his rectum.

Troops from 11 Explosive Ordnance Disposal Regiment rushed to the Gloucester hospital after being notified by police "that a patient had presented with a munition in his rectum."

The man was a military enthusiast who found the shell while clearing out, but somehow "tripped" and fell onto the 57mm piece of army ordnance that landed him in hospital, according to The Sun. 

The 57mm mortar round was used by the Royal Artillery in the Second World War as anti-tank rounds, though it would later also be used by British tanks in North Africa.

 

[Cartmann99]

6 hours ago, 47of74 said:

The man was a military enthusiast who found the shell while clearing out, but somehow "tripped" and fell onto the 57mm piece of army ordnance that landed him in hospital, according to The Sun. 

I knew when I finished the first sentence that he would say that.