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Stories Part 2


laPapessaGiovanna

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Snakes are now telling people to enter other people's homes

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A Louisiana man busted early today for allegedly trying to enter a neighbor’s apartment at 2 AM explained to police that “a big snake told him to open the victim’s door and go inside,” according to an arrest affidavit.

On a related note, Jessie Terry, 52, also reportedly told arresting officers that he had smoked crack “within the last hour.”

Terry was collared after police responded to the West Monroe residence of a woman who reported that Terry “attempted to open the back door to her apartment.”

 

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46 minutes ago, 47of74 said:

A Louisiana man busted early today for allegedly trying to enter a neighbor’s apartment at 2 AM explained to police that “a big snake told him to open the victim’s door and go inside,” according to an arrest affidavit.

He also said to hurry, as his shift at the Garden of Eden started in an hour, and he still had to pick out an apple.

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20 hours ago, Cartmann99 said:

I knew when I finished the first sentence that he would say that. :pb_rollseyes:

I hate to kink shame, but damn!

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Fuck you Vishal

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The CEO of Better.com fired more than 900 employees at once in a Zoom meeting last week, reportedly accusing them of "stealing" from their colleagues and customers by being unproductive and only working two hours a day.

Just in time for the holidays...

"If you're on this call, you are part of the unlucky group that is being laid off," the CEO, Vishal Garg, told the staff. The 900 layoffs, which included the firm's diversity, equity and inclusion recruiting team, amount to about 9% of the workforce. He told the employees they could expect an email from HR detailing benefits and severance.

 

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Rent-a-Hitman dot com snagged another one trying to solicit murder;

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Wendy Wein wanted her ex-husband dead.

In July of 2020 the Michigan woman came across a website, Rent-A-Hitman, that promised to "handle your delicate situation" privately and in a timely manner.

"This is kind of weird that your company is not on the deep or dark web," she wrote in a message to a man she believed was the site's chief consultant, Guido Fanelli. CNN obtained a copy of the message. "I prefer not going to jail," she added. "Thanks for your time."

Guido Fanelli is actually Bob Innes, a California man who runs the website. Rent-A-Hitman's "operatives" have never actually killed anybody. Instead, the site exists to dupe people who are looking for hired killers.

Yeah, Innes turned it in to law enforcement and she's been run up for trying to hire a hitman.  She's now on her way to the big house.  Idiot.

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1 hour ago, 47of74 said:

Yeah, Innes turned it in to law enforcement and she's been run up for trying to hire a hitman.  She's now on her way to the big house.  Idiot.

She's probably related to someone who has called the police wanting a refund from their drug dealer.

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6 minutes ago, Cartmann99 said:

She's probably related to someone who has called the police wanting a refund from their drug dealer.

Yeah and I was just taking a sip of Diet Pepsi when I read that - just about hosed my laptop down with soda.

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Someone outside of Florida really wanted some beer

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A Cranston man was arrested after he stole a delivery truck that was parked outside a Providence liquor store Monday afternoon, according to Providence Police Commander Thomas Verdi.

Verdi said 44-year-old Jeremy Fellela hopped into the driver’s seat of the truck, which was delivering what appeared to be bottles and kegs of beer to A to Z Liquors on Douglas Avenue, and started driving away.

A 12 News photojournalist was in front of the liquor store when Fellela initially stole the vehicle. The truck’s liftgate was open and the ramp was down on the ground when Fellela drove off, spilling bottles and kegs into the street.

Officers immediately began pursuing Fellela, who led them on a slow-speed chase throughout Providence. The chase ended when Fellela crashed the truck into a utility pole at the corner of Isabella and Longwood avenues, according to Verdi.

 

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1 hour ago, 47of74 said:

A 12 News photojournalist was in front of the liquor store when Fellela initially stole the vehicle. The truck’s liftgate was open and the ramp was down on the ground when Fellela drove off, spilling bottles and kegs into the street.

Theme music:

 

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Quarter pound settlement with cheese

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McDonald's has a settled a lawsuit with former CEO Steve Easterbrook, forcing the disgraced executive to repay his severance package of more than $100 million.

Easterbrook was fired in 2019 after the fast food giant's board determined that he violated company policy by demonstrating "poor judgment involving a recent consensual relationship with an employee." In August 2020, McDonald's filed a lawsuit against Easterbrook for lying to the board about the extent of his relationships with employees.

In a filing to the US Security and Exchange Commission Thursday, McDonald's criticized Easterbrook for his "misconduct, lies, and efforts to impede investigations into his actions" and that the settlement is the best path forward.

"This settlement holds Steve Easterbrook accountable for his clear misconduct, including the way in which he exploited his position as CEO," Enrique Hernandez, Jr., the chairman of McDonald's board of directors, said in the filing. "The resolution avoids a protracted court process and allows us to move forward."

 

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2 hours ago, 47of74 said:

McDonald's has a settled a lawsuit with former CEO Steve Easterbrook, forcing the disgraced executive to repay his severance package of more than $100 million.

I'm waiting for the update where he repaid the money with a pile of McDonald's gift cards.

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This is Florida Man level of stupid, right here.

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Moments after robbing a Wells Fargo branch in Delaware, a man deposited some of the stolen loot in an ATM outside the bank’s front door, according to police who arrested the suspect on a felony charge.

Investigators say that McRoberts Williams, 44, approached a teller Saturday morning at a crowded Wells Fargo in Wilmington and handed her a note reading “This is a robbery, I need $150.”

After the 25-year-old bank employee provided Williams with cash, he fled the bank. But instead of racing from the crime scene like your average bank robber, Williams exited the Wells Fargo and “made a deposit in the atm on the exterior of the building,” the Delaware State Police report.

During a post-arrest interview, Williams reportedly confessed to the bank robbery and said that the stolen cash was “immediately deposited...back into the Wells Fargo ATM.” He claimed to have traveled to Delaware “by riding on the exterior of a cargo train” and that “his mind is currently being controlled by a third party via an implant located somewhere in his body.”  

 

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Yeah don't do yer drug dealing at Wal-Mart.  Especially if yer a convicted felon.  Most especially with a firearm.

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A convicted felon who possessed a gun and drugs he intended to distribute inside a Wal-Mart, was sentenced to seven years in federal prison on Tuesday.

41-year-old Sylvester Cunningham received the prison term after a guilty verdict at a two-day trial back in July 2021. Cunningham was convicted of being a felon in possession of a firearm, possessing crack and powder cocaine with the intent to distribute, and possessing a firearm in furtherance of a drug trafficking crime.

Evidence at the trial showed that Cunningham, who was in a wheelchair, entered a Wal-Mart and transferred from his wheelchair into a Wal-Mart electric shopping car. A short time later, while looking for a lost cellphone, a Wal-Mart employee lifted the cushion of Cunningham’s Wheelchair and saw a .357 caliber revolver.

 

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Hy-vee, or Kim-vee as I call them, is adding a new armed force to its retail stores

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Hy-vee is introducing a new retail security team to its stores as part of its ongoing effort to ensure the health and safety of its customers and employees.

Hy-Vee says that the retail security officers will be present during store hours and will be trained to defuse situations and protect the safety of Hy-Vee employees and customers. The chain says that most of the security team come from a law enforcement background.

Sounds good in theory but I sure as hell hope they're not opening this to every psychopath with a law enforcement background.

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PBR had a bit of an issue with their Twitter account

 

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Pabst Blue Ribbon is eating humble pie after a vulgar tweet was shared from the brand’s official Twitter account earlier this week.

The tweet, which was posted on Monday morning, suggested that those abstaining from alcohol in January try “eating a—” instead.

The post was soon deleted from the brand’s account, but not before Twitter users responded with shock, confusion and, in many cases, bewildered amusement. A few notable brands, including Slim Jim and the delivery app Waitr, even got in on the discussion.

PBRTweet.thumb.png.f766c07ef9eadd44e584b21ca98b1373.png

What's the difference?

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What's inside?  An information desk!  London edition

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Just six months after opening, London's newest tourist attraction is shutting its doors.

The much-derided Marble Arch Mound, which cost a reported £6 million ($8.15 million), and was overseen by Westminster Council, will close January 9 after developing a reputation as a major disappointment and having been the source of widespread mockery on social media since July.

Ahead of its impending closure, tickets to the attraction are being sold for free, and are available on the door as well as on the Mound's official website.

The Mound -- situated on the corner of Hyde Park and Oxford Street -- had promised sweeping greenery, unique views of the city and a light exhibition inside. It was conceived by Westminster Council as part of a "smarter, greener" future for the borough.

 

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Employer got stupid with a former employee.  US government didn't like that too much.

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When Andreas Flaten didn't receive his final paycheck from a former employer last January, he complained about it, calling up the US Department of Labor to lodge an accusation of wage theft. That employer responded by leaving more than 91,000 pennies on his driveway in Fayetteville, Georgia.

Now the US government is suing that company, arguing the act constituted illegal retaliation.

In a complaint filed with a federal court in Georgia, the Department of Labor accuses A OK Walker Autoworks and its owner, Miles Walker, of more than just pettiness.

The lawsuit claims the auto-repair shop bilked its workers out of money they were owed. The lawsuit accuses the company of "repeatedly and willfully" failing to pay time and a half for overtime, instead relying on a flat rate of pay regardless of whether someone worked more than 40 hours in a week.

 

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Another one not thinking things through.

 

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Francis escaped the Vatican and hit a record shop 

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Pope Francis has long lamented that he can't walk around town unnoticed like he used to before becoming pope. But he seems to have nevertheless kept his sense of humor after he was caught on camera making an unannounced visit to a Rome record shop this week. 

Francis wrote a note to the Vatican reporter who happened to be in the right place at the right time the evening of Jan. 11 when the pope slipped out of the Vatican to bless the newly renovated Stereo Sound shop near the Pantheon. 

Javier Martinez-Brocal, director of the Rome Reports news agency, filmed Francis leaving the shop, in footage that went viral and even got written up in the Vatican newspaper, L'Osservatore Romano. 

Martinez-Brocal wrote the pope a note afterward, explaining that he wasn't a paparazzo and regretting Francis can't move around unnoticed anymore, but adding that the story provided a much-needed dose of good news for a world inundated with tragedy.

After seeing the picture I think he might have gone unrecognized a bit longer if he had one of his assistants get him a plain priest’s outfit like Johnnie Walker used to.  

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  • 3 weeks later...

Some people got stupid at a Golden Corral

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More than 40 people may have been involved in a brawl at a Golden Corral in Pennsylvania, police say. The fight allegedly broke out after a customer became enraged when the buffet ran out of steak.

Investigators are trying to figure out who started the fight that broke out Friday night at a Golden Corral in Bensalem, Pennsylvania. Video of the incident shows punches being thrown and high chairs flying.

Police confirm the brawl may have involved more than 40 people and happened following an argument among some customers. They did not say what caused the argument, as that is still under investigation.

But former employee Dylan Becker says he heard from his friend, a current employee at the Golden Corral location, that the fight started over steak.

 

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  • 1 month later...

The truck eater in Davenport, Iowa had a snack recently.

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The Brady Street railroad bridge in Davenport was hit by a truck Wednesday.

The top of the box truck was damaged from the crash.

It's the same height as the can opener in Durham, North Carolina used to be (11'8").  It had warning tubes to let drivers know if they'd hit the truck eater in Davenport so it's the driver's fault.

Edited by 47of74
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  • 2 weeks later...

Science!

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The world’s biggest family tree linking around 27 million people has been created by scientists. The genetic model combines thousands of modern and prehistoric genomes, providing new insight into key events in human history.

The breakthrough is a major step towards mapping the entirety of human relationships, with a single lineage that traces the ancestry of all people on Earth. The family tree also has widespread implications for medical research, identifying genetic predictors of disease.

“We have basically built a huge family tree, a genealogy for all of humanity that models as exactly as we can the history that generated all the genetic variation we find in humans today. This genealogy allows us to see how every person’s genetic sequence relates to every other, along all the points of the genome,” says principal author Dr. Yan Wong in a university release.

The University of Oxford team combed through eight databases containing 3,609 different genome sequences from 215 populations. They included samples from across the world; some being over 100,000 years-old. The resulting network contained almost 27 million ancestors and 231 million ancestral lineages.

I'm trying very very hard (and failing) not to make the rather obvious jokes about this tree likely not forking in some places. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Chicken tenders are not a police matter

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Since some citizens remain confused about the proper use of the 911 system, a reminder: Do not call the police emergency line if you have encountered a chicken difficulty at KFC.

On Tuesday evening, Lisa Castro called 911 to report being “upset because she only got 4 pieces of chicken instead of 8,” and that the manager of a KFC in suburban Cleveland, Ohio “won’t give her the rest of the chicken.”

The 62-year-old Castro, who lives about two miles from the KFC in Euclid, asked for an officer to be dispatched to the restaurant, saying she would be waiting in a Dodge SUV.

Upon arriving at the KFC (seen below), a Euclid Police Department officer explained to Castro that her chicken beef was “not a police matter,” according to a call report that classified the incident as a “civil matter.”

Probably lucky she didn't get hit with a misuse of 911 charge.

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A teacher resigned after a tirade made its way to social media

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A teacher at an Onslow County high school has resigned, a day after a video surfaced of him berating students in a foul-mouthed tirade.

Onslow County Schools confirmed that it happened during first period on Thursday at Southwest High School

WITN was sent a recording that was posted on social media.

“You can go through life on the **** system and get your paycheck on the first and 15th from my taxes and live an absolute horrible life. I don’t care. You can be another statistic, I don’t care,” the teacher is heard on the recording.

Where I grew up if a teacher had done that he or she would have been named teacher of the month by the administration.  The administrators always loved teachers like that.  The ones that actually cared for students...not so much.

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Florida woman’s cousin Louisiana woman is in trouble now. 

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A woman in Louisiana stole a vehicle to pick up her boyfriend from jail, according to the Grant Parish Sheriff’s Office.

Officials say Alaina Cole, 21, admitted to stealing the car and was trying to bond her boyfriend out of the Grant Parish Detention Center.

 

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