Stories Part 2

[47of74]

Florida Woman's cousin Louisiana Woman couldn't find her meth and other drugs.  Turns out she packed them in her kid's lunch bag

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Don’t you hate it when you search all over the house for your misplaced methamphetamine and Xanax only to discover that the drugs were inside your four-year-old child’s lunch bag at daycare?

Louisiana cops were summoned yesterday to a child care facility in West Monroe after staffers discovered narcotics inside a bag carried by the daughter of Jennifer Wise, 35.

A police investigation revealed that Wise had left a gram of meth, half a Xanax bar, and several doses of the sedative Clonazepam in the girl’s lunch bag “when she dropped her off at the daycare,” according to an arrest affidavit.

During a police interview Tuesday afternoon, Wise reportedly admitted to purchasing the drugs a day earlier for $75. “Wise said she had actually misplaced the drugs and was currently looking for them,” reported State Trooper Ryan Baker.

 

[FiveAcres]

18 hours ago, 47of74 said:

Florida Woman's cousin Louisiana Woman couldn't find her meth and other drugs.  Turns out she packed them in her kid's lunch bag

 

I hope that she is charged with child endangerment as well. 

[47of74]

Atlanta has reclaimed the busiest airport slot

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Move over, Guangzhou. Georgia's Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport is once again the world's busiest airport.

The US airport was knocked off its No. 1 perch to the No. 2 slot in passenger volume in 2020 by Guangzhou Baiyun International Airport in China, breaking the Atlanta airport's 22-year streak in the top slot.

But in the 2021 rankings released on Monday by trade association Airports Council International, ATL is back on top, a sign of recovery from 2020's precipitous plunge in air traffic as the pandemic took hold.

In 2021, the Atlanta airport saw 75.7 million passengers. That figure is up a whopping 76% from 2020 but still nearly 32% below pre-pandemic 2019 figures.

I went through there on my last trip to Italy in 2014.  There used to be the joke that regardless of whether one was going to heaven or hell one needs to connect through Atlanta first.

[47of74]

A European company is offering payment chips that are implanted inside a person. 

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Instead of carrying your wallet in your back pocket or purse, a tech company wants you to carry it under your skin.

The British-Polish company, Walletmor, is selling microchips as alternative payment options.

This chip is about the size of a grain of rice, costs about $300 and does not come inside a credit card. Instead, it must be implanted in your body, preferably in your hand.

Once you activate it using a digital wallet app, Walletmor says you will be able to make purchases at most businesses around the world just by swiping your hand over a card reader.

They said about 200 people already had the chip implanted.  I wonder if any anti-vaxers who are running around saying the vaccines have microchips are lining up for these chips now.  And also gee, where else could it be implanted?  Hmmmmm..... 🤔

No thank you.  I'm not one of those Branch Trumpvidians who would think this is some sort of micro-chipping thing done by an ebil gobberrnmint but I still wouldn't want that inside me. 

[Cartmann99]

7 hours ago, 47of74 said:

A European company is offering payment chips that are implanted inside a person. 

They said about 200 people already had the chip implanted.  I wonder if any anti-vaxers who are running around saying the vaccines have microchips are lining up for these chips now.  And also gee, where else could it be implanted?  Hmmmmm..... 🤔

No thank you.  I'm not one of those Branch Trumpvidians who would think this is some sort of micro-chipping thing done by an ebil gobberrnmint but I still wouldn't want that inside me. 

Would people who had it implanted be able to get an MRI?

[47of74]

36 minutes ago, Cartmann99 said:

Would people who had it implanted be able to get an MRI?

That’ll probably start showing up on the intake form right after asking about implants down there….

[47of74]

Iowa man is in trouble now
 

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Cedar Rapids Police responded to a black SUV driving the wrong way on I-380 on January 6th. The driver then removed his clothing and ran on foot. Police found him near 42nd St. and Center Point Rd. 

The driver, Andrew Cairy, was officially charged on Mar. 30 according to court documents. Cairy was charged with Serious Injury by Vehicle, Leaving the Scene of a Serious Injury Accident and two counts of Leaving the Scene of a Bodily Injury Accident.  

 

[Cartmann99]

7 hours ago, 47of74 said:

Cedar Rapids Police responded to a black SUV driving the wrong way on I-380 on January 6th. The driver then removed his clothing and ran on foot. Police found him near 42nd St. and Center Point Rd. 

Iowa Man continues his quest to become honorary Florida Man.

[47of74]

Hey stupid there's better ways to determine if a shotgun still works than firing it off before the ass crack of dawn

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David J. Houselog, 65 was arrested at 3:01 a.m. Sunday at his residence on charges of reckless use of a firearm and unlawful possession of a prescription drug.

Court documents state that Houselog fired the shotgun rounds into the ground outside his apartment because he “wanted to see if the shotgun still worked.”

Side benefit to using the better methods: not getting tagged for unlawful prescription drug possession.

Edited April 19, 2022 by 47of74

[47of74]

Ugh/facepalm

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On Thursday, a family identified as being from the United States caused panic at Israel’s Ben Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv when they attempted to board a plane with an unexploded bomb.

One of the family's children had reportedly found the unexploded artillery shell while visiting the Golan Heights and packed it, thinking it would make for a great souvenir.

Twitter had plenty to say about this...

 

[47of74]

Yeah this was almost two years ago but I just learned of it this evening

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It didn’t take long for officers responding to a call of a stolen Toyota Land Cruiser driving through the downtown area of Newberg, home to nearly 24,000 people, to spot the vehicle.  

When the suspect realized he’d been identified, police say he tried to elude them but eventually crashed the Land Cruiser into an occupied Buick Regal near the intersection of East Franklin Street and North College Street. 

Officers arrested the driver, 27-year-old Randy Lee Cooper, and, in the process of the investigation, learned that the Buick Regal was also stolen in a completely unrelated crime reported about three weeks prior. 

Police arrested the driver the Buick, 25-year-old Kristin Nicole Begue, who they said was found to be under the influence of intoxicants.

Opposites attract? 

[47of74]

More Idiots Out Wandering Around

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The Buchanan County Sheriff’s Office is reminding Iowans to slow down after clocking a vehicle at 127 mph on Thursday.

In a Facebook post, the Sheriff’s Office said a deputy stopped the speeder on 290th Street, east of Rowley.

“The driver’s excuse? He just wanted to see how fast his car could go, resulting in a $509.25 citation,” the Sheriff’s Office said in the post. “Not only is this reckless, but just as equally dangerous. Driving like there’s no tomorrow is likely to produce that result.”

Law enforcement in Iowa is working to keep Iowa roadways safer this Mother’s Day Weekend.

 

[47of74]

Ass

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When in Rome, don't drive your fancy sports car down historic stairways.

That apparently went unheeded by a man who this week drove his rented Maserati down the city's Spanish Steps and now faces charges for allegedly causing damage to the landmark, according to police in the Italian capital.

The unnamed 37-year-old Saudi national accused of being behind the wheel was apprehended at Milan's Malpensa airport after police identified him through the car rental company from images of the vehicle caught by surveillance cameras.

He's been charged with aggravated damage to cultural heritage and monuments.

 

[47of74]

Idiots

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The Federal Aviation Administration said Thursday it has revoked the licenses of two daredevil pilots who attempted to switch planes in midair while flying over the Arizona desert, causing one of the planes to crash. One pilot was able to complete the stunt, organized by Red Bull, while the other pilot ended up landing safely by parachute.   

The FAA said cousins Luke Aikins and Andy Farrington violated federal aviation regulations, which prohibit the reckless operation of an aircraft and mandates flight crew members be in the appropriate places and positions upon takeoff and landing. 

According to an investigation into the April 24 incident, Aikins and Farrington piloted two Cessna 182 model aircrafts in Eloy, roughly 65 miles southeast of Phoenix. While mid-flight, the pilots unfastened their seatbelts and attempted to perform a plane swap by skydiving from one aircraft to the other as both planes dived vertically, the FAA said. Aikins was able to complete the stunt but Farrington was unable to make it into Aikins' aircraft, which subsequently crashed.

 

[Cartmann99]

She's missing out on an opportunity to sell overpriced pajamas to her followers.

[47of74]

If anyone is wondering where their "pool toys" are I have a pretty good idea

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These are not your average pool toys.

Customs officers in Michigan discovered a whopping 2,175 pounds of marijuana in a shipment labeled as "pool toys" on May 11, according to a news release from US Customs and Border Protection (CBP).

The illegal shipment was first noticed during an X-ray scan of an inbound tractor trailer at the Fort Street Cargo Facility in Detroit. The paperwork for the shipment stated that it was "a shipment of foam pool toys," Kris Grogan, branch chief for northern/coastal regions at CBP Public Affairs, told CNN. The tractor trailer was headed for Ontario, Canada, Grogan added.

When officers and a K-9 team investigated further, they discovered that there were no pool toys inside the boxes -- just over a ton of marijuana and packing peanuts.

 

[Cartmann99]

Texas Man Guilty of Lewd Acts on Flight from Seattle to Phoenix

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PHOENIX, Ariz. – Antonio Sherrodd McGarity, 34, of Arlington, Texas, pleaded guilty last week to Lewd, Indecent, or Obscene Acts While on an Aircraft and was sentenced by U.S. Magistrate Judge Deborah M. Fine to 48 days in prison, followed by one year of probation. McGarity is also prohibited from flying commercially in the United States while on probation. A conviction for this offense carries a maximum penalty of 90 days in jail. 

On April 2, 2022, during a Southwest Airlines flight from Seattle to Phoenix, McGarity exposed himself while other passengers sat next to him in the emergency exit row. McGarity also masturbated several times. The passenger sitting beside McGarity reported the incident to a flight attendant who then informed Phoenix Police and FBI agents on the ground. Immediately upon landing, McGarity was arrested and charged with committing a lewd, indecent, or obscene act while on an aircraft. In addition to this offense, McGarity has several prior state and local convictions for lewd and lascivious conduct.

The Phoenix Police Department and FBI conducted the investigation in this case. Assistant U.S. Attorneys Kevin Hakala and Tim Courchaine, District of Arizona, Phoenix, handled the prosecution.

[47of74]

28 minutes ago, Cartmann99 said:

Texas Man Guilty of Lewd Acts on Flight from Seattle to Phoenix

There needs to be an amendment to the constitution that eliminates probation and triples prison sentences for Texas fucksticks who do shit like this. (In case you can’t tell my tolerance for Texas fuck stickery is quite low now).  

Edited May 27, 2022 by 47of74
I hate autocorrect

[47of74]

Ah, Alabama....Florida's neighbor.

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A Piedmont woman is behind bars on multiple charges after she allegedly drove her semi-truck into her boyfriend's mobile home Monday morning.

The Piedmont Police Department said 56-year-old Rhonda Young is charged with attempted murder and two counts of first-degree attempted assault after driving her International Commercial Truck into a mobile home in the 600 block of Piedmont Cutoff Road in Piedmont.

The police department said Young and her boyfriend got into an argument before she drove the truck into the front of the mobile home. The semi-truck was in bobtail mode, which means it did not have a trailer attached.

 

[Cartmann99]

1 hour ago, 47of74 said:

Ah, Alabama....Florida's neighbor.

This was her audition to be Florida Woman.

[47of74]

16 hours ago, Cartmann99 said:

This was her audition to be Florida Woman.

I think she'll have some pretty stiff competition from Louisiana Woman and Iowa Woman there.

[47of74]

Illinois man had some serious bad luck

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A Warren County man is lucky to be alive after his leg got caught in an auger. He then hit a horse while driving himself to the emergency room.

“The auger was going around the silo, quicker than it needed it to be, exposed, and I was alone and it just caught my pant leg and it took me down almost immediately and a second later it stopped, thank God. A bolt sheared and if it hadn’t it would have taken my leg if not more,” said Eric Hanson, the farmer involved in the accident.

Hanson says he cut his pants free from the auger and started driving himself to the hospital.

“It’s a two-lane country lane road out here with some hills and I was at the top of one of those hills and I saw a guy that looked like he was gesturing to me but I didn’t quite follow. The next moment I’m over the crest of the hill colliding with a horse,” Hanson said.

 

[47of74]

Dubuque family found something interesting in their back yard 

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The Williams family on Sarah Street in Dubuque just wanted to install a new fence in their backyard Sunday afternoon. When Melissa William's husband was digging out a spot for a fence post, up with the dirt came a World War II era mortar shell. 

"I looked it up online and it said it was like an aerial dart from World War II or whatever. So I sent a picture to my father and he said, no that's, you need to call the police on that one," Melissa said. "And it turns out it was an unexploded one."

According to Melissa, when they pulled it out of the dirt the shell was heavily rusted and she didn't really think it worked. They still put it in a pool of water and called the police.

Fire officials say the mortar shell was specifically an M69 round. This was used commonly by the US between World War II and the Vietnam War. The Fire Marshal says the shell was taken to a safe place and detonated.

 

[47of74]

Iowa family got creative with a headstone 🪦 

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It may not look like it at first glance, but a headstone on the Warren-Powers Cemetery in Polk County has a hidden message.

"Forever in our hearts, until we meet again, cherished memories, known as our brother, father, papa, uncle, friend, and cousin," said Lindsay Owens, daughter of the late Steven Owens.

If you pay special attention to the headstone, you'll notice that the first letter of each phrase reads 'F--- off.' 

It's something that Steven Owens' family members say he often said jokingly.

 

[47of74]

An ancient FJ member? 

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Archaeologists excavating the remains of a Roman auxiliary fort in the UK recently made a surprising and rather hilarious find: a small stone carved with the unmistakable image of a penis—basically an ancient Roman d**k pic, accompanied by a crude insulting message directed at someone the carver clearly disliked.

The stone is fairly small, measuring 40 cm wide by 15 cm tall (15 inches by 6 inches). Experts in Roman epigraphy recognized the lettering as a mangled version of Secundinus cacator, which translates into (ahem) “Secundinus, the shitter." The penis image merely added insult to injury—a clever subversion of the traditional interpretation of a phallus as a positive symbol of fertility. The Vindolanda site now has 13 phallic carvings, more than have been discovered at any other dig site along Hadrian's Wall.

“The recovery of an inscription, a direct message from the past, is always a great event on a Roman excavation, but this one really raised our eyebrows when we deciphered the message on the stone," said Andrew Birley, director of excavations and CEO of the Vindolanda Trust. "Its author clearly had a big problem with Secundinus and was confident enough to announce their thoughts publicly on a stone. I have no doubt that Secundinus would have been less than amused to see this when he was wandering around the site over 1,700 years ago."