Lori Alexander 35: Closing Windows Because of the Fires

[Curious]

39 minutes ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

So do this apply to Lori too? If this woman should stop following Christian teachings...

 

 

I don't mean to be disrespectful in asking this, so please take it in the spirit it is offered.

I don't get this "ask the spirit to guide you" type stuff as in the screenshot above.  I just can't wrap my head around what it means or how you do this.

Honestly, I don't understand things like "we prayerfully considered on x and the Lord led us to do z" either. 

Even when I was a practicing Catholic I never understood this or prayed for actual things or opinions(?) about things.  Mind you, I left the Church before I was 18 so my prayers were mostly for other people in my life to stay healthy, get well, etc.

Can someone break down these concepts for me crayon style?

TIA

[Florita]

I love that Lori uses shitty grammar in a post about homeschooling. (Hint: It is called pronoun-antecedent agreement.)

Lindy Johnson is an idiot. People like her are why there are so many cults in this world.

[molecule]

After I read her post a second and third time, I no longer thought that Lori drove past a chat room member's school. She said they were talking about it in the chat room because "a woman told me." I wondered if this was maybe someone Lori knows in her community. I hope so, because stalking high school kids is about as creepy as peeking in people's houses so she can criticize them on the internet, . . . oh, never mind . . .

[lilwriter85]

2 hours ago, Curious said:

I know it's been a long time since I was in high school, but I am going to call bullshit on this.  I'm pretty sure that every high school has a dress code.  It might not be keeping covered from head to toe like Lori would like, but a dress code nonetheless.

She makes it sound like the girls were all in tube tops and daisy dukes, which I very much doubt meets a school dress code, even in California.

I'm just going to call bullshit on this one, given we know Lori is highly prone to exaggeration based on past experience.

Also, who the fuck drives by a stranger's kid's high school to gawk at teenagers?  That is SUPER CREEPY.

You can't post screenshots and/or copy/paste directly from private pages/groups.   You can summarize/paraphrase what happens on them, however.

I also call bullshit on that too. Usually many public schools have rules regarding length of shorts from the knee up and also regarding tops. It's just a stupid attempt of Lori to show "how ebil public schools are".

Lori posted yearbook pictures of her son's classmates to bitch about their prom or homecoming dresses, I wouldn't put it past her to be driving by schools to see if she could find something to complain about.

[jerkit]

Once again, Lori, look to your own goddamn family before you whine about other women’s dress. I think they look great and should wear whatever they damn well please, but all the women in your family haven’t gotten your message about the evils of yoga pants, short shorts, and bikinis.

[Sarah92]

1 hour ago, Curious said:

I don't mean to be disrespectful in asking this, so please take it in the spirit it is offered.

I don't get this "ask the spirit to guide you" type stuff as in the screenshot above.  I just can't wrap my head around what it means or how you do this.

Honestly, I don't understand things like "we prayerfully considered on x and the Lord led us to do z" either. 

Even when I was a practicing Catholic I never understood this or prayed for actual things or opinions(?) about things.  Mind you, I left the Church before I was 18 so my prayers were mostly for other people in my life to stay healthy, get well, etc.

Can someone break down these concepts for me crayon style?

TIA

Spoiler

 

You're not being disrespectful at all and I think you ask a very important question.  I have to admit I probably haven't thought about this as much as I should have. This actually concerns me and I'm now encouraged to study into this more myself. 

Even as a Christian, I have to admit it seems kinda like magical thinking right? I can really only talk about my experience with and struggle with prayer. So please bear with me and know that I am no theologian or expert in Scripture. But then again theologians aren't always very good at speaking to the "crayon style" as you put it. I know I've almost thrown a couple of books because of their complicated writing. 

So anyways after that intro, on the "ask the spirit to guide you" part. This is Christianize and sounds slightly mystical and weird.  "The Holy Spirit is often referenced as the part of the Trinity ( a whole other subject ) that acts as a guide, is empowering, and helps us discern truth. So when a person references asking the Holy Spirit to guide them they are usually saying they need help with a decision, are feeling lost, or need help discerning the truth. 

Romans 8:26-Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.

Acts 2:4- And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit gave them utterance.

Luke 4:1- And Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit in the wilderness. 

The being lead by God after prayer can be complicated in my opinion because God sometimes chooses to remain silent. First prayer is seen as an important part of developing a closer relationship with God. The thought is that if you do not communicate with a friend or loved one it can be hard to maintain a relationship. Prayer is seen as communication and Christians are encouraged just to pray in all things whether its just to tell God about their day, give thanks, praise God, ask for help, ask for guidance, etc. It's all part of a relationship with God. 

Prayer seems different to a lot of people. I know when I was attempting to choose my college, I was praying a lot. When I stepped foot on my campus I just felt utter peace and certainty that I was supposed to go there. I felt at home. Of course Lori would probably say this was the devil but oh well. 

Another example is kinda a weird story. I studied abroad for a semester and went to Germany for Thanksgiving with a group of friends. Many of us had to take different flights. As a result, I flew by myself. I came into my terminal and looked around for my friends and they were no where to be found. My cellphone wasn't working or something so I just couldn't call people to find them. So I'm wandering around an airport I'd never been to, in a foreign country, completely lost. I even went outside to check out the pick up lane. By now it's getting dark and I know that we're supposed to be catching a train soon. I'm scared and praying; I probably wasn't thinking clearly from fear and traveling exhaustion (I was probably being stupid, idk). Anyways, I come back inside and look over to see a staircase going down. I didn't even really read the sign, I just got a really strong feeling to go down the stairs and so I went. I rounded the corner and there was my friend group all worried about me. I came into a different terminal than expected and somehow wandered my way over to them. I feel like God gave me that push to go down the stairs.

This isn't my only instance and some would think its ridiculous but it's my experience. So sometimes I have felt strong direction.  If I don't feel a particular direction I just go with what seems to be the best decision in line with my beliefs. 

However the part I struggle with are the prayers that seem to go unanswered. I won't lie about that, at least not anymore, but it is really hard. I can paint a smile on my face but that doesn't mean the questions about God's faithfulness aren't still there in my head. In my opinion, sometimes the answer is silence and we can only do the best we can with what we've been given.

My life verse is Hebrews 11:1- Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

Prayer is heavily connected to having faith that God has an ultimate plan. 

So sorry for the length of this and I hope that I at least sorta answered the question. I honestly felt like there was so much that I could say because of the interconnectedness of it all. I was tempted to go into the Trinity and faith etc. but I shall refrain. If I didn't answer something let me know. And if anyone sees anything that they felt might be wrong feel free to let me know, I welcome different views and correction. 

Also sorry for any spelling and grammar mistakes I'm trying to type this out as fast as possible. 

 

 

[delphinium65]

Why is Lori even talking to her leghumpers about feeling 'led' to homeschool, or about anything? According to her own rules women shouldn't be bothering their heads with problems like that, they're just supposed to do what the menfolk say.  She should be telling her worshippers to leave all those decisions to their husbands, right?  

[onemama]

@Sarah92, I think you did a very good job explaining the concept of being guided by the Holy Spirit. It sounds a lot more mystical than it is!

@delphinium65, good point. I think Lori actually sees herself as a bit above her follower's husbands. She says a lot about how they must follow, submit and obey, but she keeps teaching that there's only one proper way to live: her way.  I don't think Lori is the submissive wife she wants everyone to believe she is, at all. She's an inflexible control freak who must have her way or nobody's happy. 

[Sarah92]

@onemama Thank you! It was hard to put into words something that is some intertwined with other things in my head so I was worried. 

 

The whole home schooling kids to keep them away from the evil, heathen teachers and kids just kinda gets to me. It just seems really judgmental to me. When I was a freshman, I would sometimes sit with some of the "bad kids" because I kinda became gym buddies with one of the girls who sat with them. She was very nice and welcomed me. I didn't agree with a lot of what they did but I was still friendly and respectful (just like my parents taught me).  We never got super close and I only sat with them for half a semester before I sat with someone I became closer to. But guess what? I turned out okay. I talked to ungodly, heathen teachers and students and didn't lose all my faith. I'm pretty sure Christians are supposed to go out and minister to people, not stay locked away in our homes. Ironically enough, my faith crisis was more spurred on by the church and a private Christian school than anything else. If homeschooling works for you that's great! I've met some great home-schooled individuals but we shouldn't condemn others over something like this.  

[fluffy]

6 hours ago, delphinium65 said:

Why is Lori even talking to her leghumpers about feeling 'led' to homeschool, or about anything? According to her own rules women shouldn't be bothering their heads with problems like that, they're just supposed to do what the menfolk say.  She should be telling her worshippers to leave all those decisions to their husbands, right?  

You are 100% correct! She has made homeschooling an idol, if you ask me. There are even followers who point out that their kids' schools allow youth group to meet after class or have teachers or principals who are Christian. Women have posted that their time in public school saved them from some horrible situations and on and on. Lori refuses to listen. She refuses to be polite. She always says "don't expect that positive situation to last long."

Some of her readers have husbands who don't agree with homeschooling, but Lori always finds fault with them and sets up her readers to argue with their husbands and try to get their way via manipulation or prayer. It drives me batty. You'll have husbands who are physically violent and she's all pray it away. But some of the saner sounding spouses believe in their kids being equipped with some book learning and Lori always knows best. She never says "God wants you to trust your husband, who is the leader of your home." I wish Ken would call her out on this. 

Two things her readers sometimes disagree with her on:

1. homeschooling

2. beating their offspring within an inch of their lives 

 

[PennySycamore]

@Frog99, one of my daughters shared on FB that post of Jen Hatmaker's yesterday about abused women coming to her and calling on the church to no longer silence women.  My daughter also shared Jen's snarky post from the 19th about how white men just don't have a place at the table.

[Sarah92]

So I almost get the feeling that we need a K.B Davies forum because man some of his stuff is just bad. He complained about the below post being reported and deleted by agents of Satan. Of course a commenter reposted it (I promptly reported that post because I'm a jerk). 

 

edit: looked a bit more into his page and realized he's a narcissistic false prophet. 

[mango_fandango]

Wow. What an asshole. It’s not “denying” sex or abuse if the woman says “not tonight honey, I’m not feeling great” or whatever. Most men would just go “ok, hope you feel better soon” (insert appropriate response) and go to sleep happily. 

[Sarah92]

5 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Wow. What an asshole. It’s not “denying” sex or abuse if the woman says “not tonight honey, I’m not feeling great” or whatever. Most men would just go “ok, hope you feel better soon” (insert appropriate response) and go to sleep happily. 

Reading more into his comments is confusing. Apparently it can't happen in a Christian house because a  wife isn't a Christian if she says "no" for any reason. The moment she says "no" it means she's not a Christian. But he pretty much refuses to answer questions or clarify his stance. People wanted to know if he thought a husband forcing sex was rape. It took him forever to say that  the husband supposedly couldn't do that because it would mean that he wasn't a Christian. So rape can't happen in a Christian household because the people involved aren't Christians. Yet it still lays all the blame on the wife because "it wouldn't have happened if she'd just agree" (my deduction, not his).

 We thought Lori was rude in replies but this guy might just take the cake. 

[Frog99]

@Sarah92 I can’t even wrap my brain around his argument. I think you did a great job breaking down his nonsense. I have viewed his page only a couple of times but my immediate thought was that he is a narcissist. I might have to do some digging. 

Lori’s post this morning is a confusing bit of nonsense. And I don’t know who Kate Singh is but I don’t like her either. She’s awfully judgmental. I don’t understand why people can’t write without making inaccurate assumptions about others. A friend posted a phrase yesterday that resonated with me- along the lines of whenever he finds himself in a place of judgment of others, it reveals an unhealed issue or need within himself. I do that naturally I think- it’s important to be aware of countertransference but I’ve been on a journey to dig even deeper. 

[onemama]

33 minutes ago, Frog99 said:

Lori’s post this morning is a confusing bit of nonsense

In my opinion, Lori made it confusing with her "biblical" additions.

34 minutes ago, Frog99 said:

I don’t know who Kate Singh is but I don’t like her either. She’s awfully judgmental. I don’t understand why people can’t write without making inaccurate assumptions about others.

I read  her post and it's nowhere near as judgmental as Lori's. I don't agree with everything she says. I don't think that all families can afford to have a parent at home full time, but I do agree with scaling down, deciding to cut back on work and spend more time with our children and spouse. If your life seems unmanageable, your kids are stressed, you wish you had more time for your home, garden, friends and family, ask yourself whether you can slow down a bit. Spending more time at home may be a lot more enjoyable than you thought it would be. 

In that spirit, I can take that blog for what it's worth. Lori's additions ruin it. 

Here's her post: https://katesinghsite.com/2017/12/06/the-joys-of-the-simple-life-why-we-choose-it-when-we-choose-family/

 

[delphinium65]

Lori has just pissed me off even more than usual.  I'm going on a rant here, and I honestly don't know how long it's going to be, or where it's going to go. 

In her steaming pile of bullshit titled 'The House Sits Empty All Week Long' she is quoting another writer, and adding her own not even worth 2 cents in italics.  We have this little gem included:  'This is not a call for us to go back to oppressive times or forget our fight for equal rights and voting (yes, it is since you can forget everything feminism accomplished because all it did was drive a wedge between men and women).'  I know Lori has spoken against women voting, or having any rights, but this is just stated so bluntly, and she doesn't even try to claim that those weren't 'oppressive times.'  She is stating as clearly as possible that she is opposed to women having rights, and still her leghumpers hang on every word she says??!  

There are some things that Lori could say, and the source she quotes does say some of them, that I would actually be OK with.  Things like: 

'Ask yourself if it is all worth it? Are you happy? Is that house, those cars, the expensive vacation, the classes, the over scheduling, the technology, the Ivy League degree…is it worth it? Are you thriving and living in the present?'  I agree that many of us are far overloaded, and don't even enjoy the things we have. 

'Nothing is more important than family happiness and well being.'  Not sure I'd go so far as to say NOTHING, but it is very high on the list. 

The idea that it's better for one parent to be the primary caretaker of the children, and avoid daycare if possible-and yes, Lori, it IS fine if that's the father!  I wouldn't even argue that most of the time the mother is the better choice for that task, But, even if-big if!-most women are better with children than most men, that does NOT mean there's something wrong with everyone else! 

Saying that it is difficult, and for some/many/most (?) people impossible, to juggle working full time and tending to the needs of children.  The more demands you have on your time, the less able you will be to meet all of those demands.  You've only got so many waking hours available, and if the demands are too great, something is going to go undone, or be done poorly. Sad, but true, and not just for women. 

Simplifying our lives, and living within our financial means, is a good thing.  Again, I wouldn't argue that point, it's a lesson many of us would do well to learn, and I'm including myself in that.  

Having children is a wonderful thing.  Pretty much true, but that doesn't mean every woman, everywhere, must do it. Most people, male and female, have the urge to reproduce, which is a good thing, otherwise humanity would become extinct.  But having children is not an obligation for everyone. If you don't want to, don't. There are plenty of other people who want children, so there's no reason for you to feel guilty about that! 

Now, what isn't on that list of things I'm OK with?  Lori's absolute, dogmatic, you must live this way no matter what!  You must do what your husband says, no matter whether he's responsible, caring, or even sober enough to make any decisions.  You must remain at home 24/7, only making the shortest excursions outside your own doors for the bare necessities.  You must homeschool your children, and never, ever allow them to discover that people who live differently are just as decent and human as you are (much more decent in her case!).  You can never work outside of your home, even if you become homeless because your husband is irresponsible, has substance abuse issues, or dies and leaves you with nothing.  There are no, repeat, NO exceptions, because sky daddy says so.  Lori doesn't give a damn if families suffer, as long as they're doing things HER WAY. And it is her way, not that of any deity who actually cares about human beings.  No, Lori says you as a woman have to get married, have to pop out as many babies as possible, take all responsibility for those children, take all the blame if things go wrong, and never EVER question the authority of a man.  And she claims her views aren't straight out of The Handmaid's Tale?  

There's a phrase that comes to mind, one that ends with 'and the horse you rode in on,' that fits the occasion perfectly! 

OK, I'm done.  

[Frog99]

@onemama I agree that Lori’s additions are what made it difficult to read. 

I read the original post before I commented here- and prior to this I had read something else written by Kate Singh (Lori referenced her in the past). I think she makes sweeping assumptions and that is my issue. I might be a bit more sensitive to that because I myself am on a journey of introspection- challenging myself to really think about my beliefs, etc. 

This is one example:

”Our country is a mess.  We have built all the towns for cars. We are slaves to the car.  Look at suburbia and the strip malls.  We drive everywhere.  We go to dirty, crowded box stores to find a deal.  We work jobs we detest…jobs that make us drink a lot on the weekends to forget the misery waiting for us on Monday.  Our children hate us by puberty.  They have been trying to get our attention for years.  Now they are just done with us.”

Second example: 

“People that both work and have families don’t have true peace and happiness.  They can’t really enjoy the children and their homes aren’t truly clean and tidy or run efficiently.  And who can cook from scratch after work?”

Nothing in either of those statements ring true for me or anyone I know (aside from needing a car but I’ve never lived in town so that would be necessary regardless and we could never go to just one car).

I think it would have been more authentic (and maybe more impactful) if she had kept it to her experiences as opposed to overgeneralizing and assuming. 

[Chocolatedefrauded]

I hate the assumption that all working mothers are miserable! Some of us love our jobs. We don't all work just to afford fancy vacation & expensive cars.

we live in the expensive Northeast, have no debt besides a mortgage & don't drag our child around to many activities. Our life is just fine, thank you! Our child is well adjusted, has friends & does very well in public school. Weekends can be pretty laid back. So all those bloggers can stop trying to point out the errors of our ways!

[EowynW]

I do agree many in this county are in an exhausting rat race, trying to stay ahead of stuff but I did find it a tad judgmental.

i freely admit Mr. EW & I are weird and like a slow pace, away from the race, being connected to our food and the earth, small house, working towards independence and self sufficiency in many areas,  etc. I suppose I'm turning into a hippie, much to my fundie mother's horror  Our ideal life would be both of us working part time, or running a home based business or shop so we both get home time and kid time, if we decide to have kids. The thought of me home raising kids full time and him busting his body to make ends meet 65 hours a week makes us both feel depressed lol  

 

[Sarah92]

Idk about having children. I'm a person that enjoys a quiet home. Homes that are too loud for long periods of time set me on edge. Plus not sleeping enough gives my migraine. So the thought of having a baby does not sound appealing. I'd have to really think about it and talk about it will my husband. I'm not going to pop one out for the sake of submission.

I do have to agree that sometimes we are too busy. I watch all these parents that have their kids in a million different things and can't help but wonder if it's healthy. But I try not to judge it too much because I'm not them and I don't know their lives. I just don't think we should use busyness to avoid dealing with larger issues.

If I was to have a kid I'd probably limit the amount of activities they do to a couple of things. But that does stem from one: my love language is spending time with people and two: I was raised to eat dinner with my family almost every night and that's very important to me (foodie fam problems). So being so busy that I can't spend time with people  bugs me. That would include my husband, I don't want him working three jobs just to support us. 

[dairyfreelife]

Quote

A $1700 to $3000 mortgage (oh yes, in Northern California, yes)

Um...California, especially if it's around San Francisco, is very expensive. That seems rather normal and with 20% down with current 4% interest rates, that's anywhere from a $450K-800K. In most of California that seems like typical prices to small to middle-class level homes. Elsewhere that would buy you upper-middle class to mansion size homes. Of course you'd make more in California for the same work in most cases too to afford the level. So I guess she's just whining about women working so someone isn't home during the weekdays meaning the house is empty. But since Lori never really tended to her home, just sat in it mostly, was it really any better for her to be home? Not a lot of difference really. 

[Hane]

12 minutes ago, dairyfreelife said:

Um...California, especially if it's around San Francisco, is very expensive. That seems rather normal and with 20% down with current 4% interest rates, that's anywhere from a $450K-800K. In most of California that seems like typical prices to small to middle-class level homes. Elsewhere that would buy you upper-middle class to mansion size homes. Of course you'd make more in California for the same work in most cases too to afford the level. So I guess she's just whining about women working so someone isn't home during the weekdays meaning the house is empty. But since Lori never really tended to her home, just sat in it mostly, was it really any better for her to be home? Not a lot of difference really. 

She’d probably recommend that her fangirls move their families to East Buttf*ck, where you can buy a house for $25,000 and it doesn’t matter what the public schools are like, because you’ll be homeschooling, and God will magically provide your headship with a job.

[SuperNova]

Lori's italicized interjections in today's post are so funny (and rude). It's the written equivalent of someone shouting out corrections to the pastor in the middle of a church service. The audacity (and laziness!) of taking another writer's post and adding your own comments would be surprising from anyone else (except Lori). 

[EowynW]

I get really uncomfortable when people prescribe a certain lifestyle as "god's best way." Reminds me off my fundie preacher brother in law saying "God originally intended for the family to be like this. To live on the land, with the husband out tending the fields and the wife in the house tending to the home and children and maybe a small garden." 

Gag me with a spoon.