Lori Alexander 35: Closing Windows Because of the Fires

[Sarah92]

I might just have to go back and read this when I have free time. And the whole passive aggressively throwing Lori under the bus thing is kinda gross. And it shows me what happens when you preach not actually communicating with your spouse. 

[Botkinetti]

I think Lori would kill to be Gwen Shamblin.

Gwen has a cult obsessed with her and her bizarre teachings. Lori has to buy followers.Lori would love a place where she could direct the food that everyone eats and shame those who fall short. If Lori knows about Gwen she must be jealous as hell.

[Curious]

9 hours ago, fundamentallyfearless said:

I wasn’t here when Ken stepped onto FJ grounds either but I went back and looked and HOLY HELL is it an entertaining read

I think I swore more in the Ken threads than I have everywhere else on FJ combined.   In RL I swear like a sailor, but I try to be slightly more professional on FJ and an admin/owner.   I don't always succeed, but I swear WAY less online than I do in RL.

Ken and his "you ladies have foul language so I don't let Lori read here" when he "let" her read Sunshine Mary and Cabinetman was just too much for me.   I would purposely find places to swear I normally wouldn't have just to annoy the fuck out of him

[Botkinetti]

The Ken threads are hilarious to read. You could feel his blood pressure rise as he realized that people were quoting his and Lori’s words back at him and his blocks of texts were nonsensical. Used to his idiot wife and her inability to argue he just kept flailing around trying everything he could think of so he could tell himself that he had changed the minds of posters. He is an evil pompous windbag.

[SilverBeach]

Lori and Gwen Shamblin should co-lead a cult, except Lori wouldn't be able to stop herself from criticizing Gwen's husband. It would be epic.

[Curious]

5 minutes ago, Botkinetti said:

The Ken threads are hilarious to read. You could feel his blood pressure rise as he realized that people were quoting his and Lori’s words back at him and his blocks of texts were nonsensical. Used to his idiot wife and her inability to argue he just kept flailing around trying everything he could think of so he could tell himself that he had changed the minds of posters. He is an evil pompous windbag.

oh that reminds me of when he said that reading the comments and quoting them here was like reading Lori's diary

[usmcmom]

Ken was the first person to whom I EVER said (verbally or in wrting) "FUCK YOU!" I say it a little more now, but only in my head.  He disrespected our troops and this Marine Mom doesn't handle that well. It's like someone flips the crazy switch for me. 

Each time I go back and read Ken's threads, I laugh 'till I cry; and it's not because he was so witty.  Oh man; was he ever stupid while here!! I mean, he's pretty dim when he comments on Lori's stuff but we got to see it in huge, highly concentrated doses here and....STUPID! 

Good times. 

[Sarah92]

I've mentioned it before on here but the guy tried arguing that borderline personality disorder was caused by feminism. Considering that's my field I was furious to read such ignorance. I did my very best to reply without saying a ton of cuss words. I'm a little upset that he never saw fit to reply to that.  But who's that dumb to say something that probably no psychological research would back up? I've refrained from cussing on here a ton but man it's a struggle with the stuff she throws out. 

[Koala]

1 hour ago, Curious said:

oh that reminds me of when he said that reading the comments and quoting them here was like reading Lori's diary

I so remember that!   And that quoting her here was violating her right to free speech!  

In other news, after a week with grandchildren, Lori has decided to post about how Jesus wasn't an example of a parent, and children need pain.  One can only assume that this post is directed at Emily or Cassi.  (My bet is on Emily).

Quote

Let’s examine some of the words in these verses. Chasten means to “correct by punishment; to inflict pain for the purpose of reclaiming an offender.”

Quote

God understands the selfish nature of the flesh and that it needs to be trained and disciplined with pain. In Proverbs, we are given numerous verses about the power of the rod to correct the flesh. 

Quote

 If He uses pain to deal with our sin, so should we with our children. 

Quote

Pain is a great teacher. All throughout the Word, we are told about the benefit of pain...

She's a sick woman, and it's heartbreaking that time with her grandbabies brought about a post like this, instead of something about the joys of being a grandmother, or the wonder and excitement on her grandchildren's faces on Christmas morning.

Whichever mom this post was directed at (again, my bet's on Emily), she needs to think very carefully about leaving Lori unattended with her kids.  I don't believe for a moment, that Lori wouldn't hit first and ask questions later.

[Loveday]

Quote

If He uses pain to deal with our sin, so should we with our children. 

This sentence just appalls me. 

[usmcmom]

I think the thing that bothers me the most about Lori is that she equates a baby's "bad" behavior with sin. A baby or toddler acting with impatience, throwing a tantrum or failing to obey in an instant is NOT sin. 

I've always thought that sin is something committed when the person knows full well the consequences of his or her actions. When he/she knows something is wrong, yet does it anyway, that is sin; but only if one can comprehend the consequences. A three-year-old may just be learning that a lie is wrong but he cannot fully comprehend WHY it is wrong or what consequences that lie might bring; so, in my opinion, he is not sinning when he lies. He should be corrected and guided about why it is wrong to lie, but he should not be labeled a sinner. 

A toddler does not have the emotional and mental capacity to always control her temper. She does not have the verbal skills to express her anger and so tantrums occur - that is not sin. That is a child still learning to master her own feelings. At age two everything is SO big and SO important that she just cannot separate the disappointment of the wrong colored cup from something an adult would consider tragic, so sometimes  a tantrum occurs. The adult in the room should handle this by being calm and in charge "The blue cup is dirty, you can use red or green today" or "You want the blue cup? Okay." A loving adult does not label their child a sinner and start beating them. It just makes me sick to think of parenting this way. 

[jerkit]

“ His purpose was to point people to their need for a Savior. He wanted people to clearly see their sin and that the wrath of God was upon them because of it. “

 

Once again, Lori misunderstands the entire point of the gospels. Probably because she only reads Romans-Revelation again and again, missing the whole story of the Bible.

 

oh and also. Lori, your grandchildren were misbehaving on Christmas. Why did you not beat them so they would smile pretty for your picture?

[AlwaysDiscerning]

She says here there is nothing godly about spanking. I had to read that a few times in light of today's post. 

 

[Koala]

I just hope none of her children/dils/sils are cruel to their children in order to get Lori's approval.  

The jury is in on Erin and Ryan (if Lori's post are true).  The way they treated poor Emma was inexcusable.

Cassi, on the other hand, has always been referred to as the tenderhearted one.  

Quote

Cassi remembers every single time she got in trouble.  She has such a tender heart and hated to disappoint us.  She remembers several times she got spanked and just remembers me using my leather strap. 

This leads me to believe that maybe Cassi won't want to put her children through what Lori put her through. One can only hope...  

The fact that she was so quick to defend Lori's parenting in the Amazon reviews really makes me worry, though.

As far as Emily, she seems more likely to have a more gentle parenting style.  She's posted about staying up all night with her baby, and how it was worth it, so we know she didn't just leave her to cry all night as Lori would recommend.  

Maybe, just maybe she won't hit her children.  Maybe Lori saw that over the Christmas holiday, and that's why she's lashing out via her blog now.  I think it genuinely makes her furious that anyone would parent without inflicting pain on their kids.

[EowynW]

Wtf kind of gospel is she believing in 

[Koala]

Spoiler

Did anyone notice that Alyssa had an Instagram pic of her, her sister, and the 2 sils?  It was there, and now it's gone.  

Wonder which one of them asked for it to be deleted?

 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

So ......... if Cassi remembers every single time she got spanked...... that means more than once.  How many times was it?  How old was she when it stopped? 

If Cassi remembers Lori using her trusty leather strap as a separate incident from spanking, how often did Lori use the strap? How old was Cassi when Lori stopped?

Cassi "....just remembers me using my leather strap"  I realize this is Lori who is not the clearest writer in the world -- but this means only Lori was using the strap, so I assume Ken did the non-strap spanking (hand?).

I firmly believe and would bet real money on it that Lori beat on her children -- strap and spanking -- All. The. Time.  I suspect daily, probably more than once,  for every tiny infraction, supposed sin, look, gesture, hesitation, or maybe just out of her own frustration at...... who knows what .... reasons. 

I think Ken spanked with his hand, probably only a few times (not excusing him though). However Lori always says he was gone 6 months of every year all through the children's growing up.  He would never know the extent of her beating.  And for sure none of the children would tell him for fear of getting it worse once he was gone again.  Lori readily admits her children were afraid of her.

I believe Lori still has that trusty strap and again I'd bet real money she's already used it on the grandchildren.

We've all discussed Lori and her NPD. Putting on my armchair shrink hat I also think she's a sadist.  Lori likes inflicting pain -- physical, mental, emotional.  She gets off on it.  It makes her feel powerful, in control, in charge, better than other people. More perfect, more worthy, more godly. Like God.

Look how often she writes about how pain is good for us, how pain is a great teacher, how it's a great way to get your children to behave. She writes often that the Pearls' method of child beating rearing is A-OK Terrific.

Look at all the instances she admits to physically inflicting pain on her children. Think of the pain she caused weight shaming her daughters. Admitting in her blog where Ken can read it that she didn't love him when they married is a way to cause pain.

She is Sick. Vile. Twisted. Evil.  And I hope she reads this and knows we see her for the monster she is.  But really I hope Ken read this because while it's too late for his children, it's not too late for the grandchildren.  He can stand up, be a command man and stop her.

 

 

 

[mango_fandango]

3 hours ago, SilverBeach said:

Lori and Gwen Shamblin should co-lead a cult, except Lori wouldn't be able to stop herself from criticizing Gwen's husband. It would be epic.

*thinks of Lori and Gwen co-leading a cult*

*shits self in fear*

[delphinium65]

1 hour ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

She says here there is nothing godly about spanking. I had to read that a few times in light of today's post. 

 

*blink*  I had to go find that post, and was considering having an eye exam, because I didn't think I could possibly be reading that right!  Right after that she says 'If you believe you have a better way to train your child at a young age so to avoid heartache and teenage rebellion before the age of seven, go for it. So long as it is consistent and done in a manner that shows unconditional love, your experiment with parenting should provide excellent results.'  

Lori certainly has changed since then, and it's not an improvement. 

[EowynW]

I love how Alyssa brings her cute dog to gatherings and features him in family pictures. That burns my fundie family/inlaws up so I know it does Lori too. We should be featuring our babiezzzz not dogs.

[legalbeagle]

When I was in Bible college, we learned that "the rod" in Proverbs actually referred to a crooked hook shepherds used to tug on a sheep's leg when it was wandering from the herd. In other words, "spare the rod, spoil the child" does not mean "beat your child with a rod"; it means "give your kid a gentle correction."

[Frog99]

@Koala I wonder why the pic was removed! It was a cute picture I thought, and certainly nothing to be overly concerned about I would think. I wonder if it was Erin- I recall reading something about her not wanting pics of her children on social media (although Lori has put some on her instastories). It just seems that it would create unnecessary conflict. 

Things I’m curious about: 

how Alyssa broke free and managed to build what appears to be a full and happy life 

why Ryan and Erin only have 2 kiddos- her career aspirations and background- and most of all- how she ignored her maternal instinct when Emma was placed on a blanket crying while they ignored her- and how she can allow her mother in law to watch her kids so regularly. 

The dynamics between all of the siblings and their perspectives on the nonsense Lori spews. 

I spanked my now 8 year old once (he was prob around 5)- not hard- and it still breaks my heart that I did that. I just asked him if he remembered and both kids replied that I’ve never spanked either of them. Clearly it had more of an impact on me. 

6 minutes ago, legalbeagle said:

When I was in Bible college, we learned that "the rod" in Proverbs actually referred to a crooked hook shepherds used to tug on a sheep's leg when it was wandering from the herd. In other words, "spare the rod, spoil the child" does not mean "beat your child with a rod"; it means "give your kid a gentle correction."

I’ve learned the same although I’m not sure where. It could have been from my own research/reading. 

[smittykins]

Isn't there also a verse that says "If you beat your child with a rod, he will not die, but you will save his soul from hell," or am I misremembering?

[Koala]

1 hour ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

I realize this is Lori who is not the clearest writer in the world -- but this means only Lori was using the strap, so I assume Ken did the non-strap spanking (hand?).

I firmly believe and would bet real money on it that Lori beat on her children -- strap and spanking -- All. The. Time.  I suspect daily, probably more than once,  for every tiny infraction, supposed sin, look, gesture, hesitation, or maybe just out of her own frustration at...... who knows what .... reasons. 

I think Ken spanked with his hand, probably only a few times (not excusing him though). However Lori always says he was gone 6 months of every year all through the children's growing up.  He would never know the extent of her beating.  And for sure none of the children would tell him for fear of getting it worse once he was gone again.  Lori readily admits her children were afraid of her.

We actually called Ken on that.  He and Lori were telling two very different stories.

Ken (when posting here) gave this account:

Quote

Sitting on the fireplace steps was our most effective discipline tool which was used often, but defiance in a child met with a swat.

Lori (on her blog) remembers it very differently:

Quote

We didn't have to resort to charts, bedtime routines, stickers, or time outs. We spanked them if they didn't obey us!

When confronted with their conflicting statements, Ken responded:

Quote

That was 20 years ago and it is possible that Lori and I have two different recollections and maybe two different ways of dealing with the issues with our children.

Quote

she had spent perhaps 8-9 hours with the kids so maybe there was lots more going on than I was aware of

But back to Lori's statement- Why wouldn't a bedtime routine, stickers, and charts be preferable to hitting?  Why wouldn't a time out be preferable to hitting?  She seems to almost brag about the fact that she had only one tool in her parenting tool box, and that tool was her leather strap.  

Lori's thought process seemed to be- Why bother with a bedtime story or rocking your baby to sleep while singing a lullaby, when you can just hit them with your leather strap?  Then they become too afraid of you to even dream of asking to be tucked in at night, or hope that you'll come sit with them if they get scared in the night. 

She's such a cruel person...I don't think I've ever heard her express genuine love or kindness towards anyone.  

[fluffy]

I think Erin and Ryan have three kids now. One is still a baby or very young. I think Lori watches them so Erin can work on her jewelry biz. 

I've also learned the same thing about the shepherd's rod. And my bet is definitely on Emily being a more patient and educated mother. Her relationship with her mom looks admirable and her mother was/is a nurse, not a homeschooling nutcase. Emily seems like a evangelical who's also pretty normal. She doesn't strike me as a fundie who's all about beating dem babies. 

I wonder how long the Xmas all together will continue, especially when there are multiple babies and it's more fun/ easier to have Christmas at home as they get older. I could see Cassie who really drinks the Lori kool-aid continuing to come home, but I think Emily is much more self-sufficient, social, and will have her kids involved in school and church programs. Also, as their children grow up, it's going to suck being crammed into one house with every cousin and your in-laws who turn your private life (child rearing, for example) into blog fodder. Lori has no life, no friends or social obligations -- in short, I think Emily will leave her in the dust.