Lori Alexander 35: Closing Windows Because of the Fires

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

That picture is a very nice, normal one of a family that includes sone not-so-nice, not-so-normal people. Those kids are really cute. And I really hope one or more of the grandkids had a leaky diaper on Ken and/or Lori's lap. 

[jerkit]

WTF to the bridesmaid telling Lori right before the wedding to not get married...or Lori is making it all up to prove that unsubmissive wives are always miserable and trying to get perfect submissive wives to join them in their misery.

Also, who is pregnant besides Cassi? ETA: never mind. I see now it’s emily.

[molecule]

Is Lori wearing leggings in those pictures? Leggings? With do-me boots? 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

It sure is interesting in her story today she makes it sound like the have always been perfectly molded for each other. A Fairytale. No mention in that "for show" post about the 23 years of misery.  

Totally sick too that she mentioned the bridesmaid. She had to get some dig in to show how she is so much better than others. She stuck it out, suffered in silence and weeeeeeeee look I now get 7 grandchildren as my prize.

[Koala]

Yeah, I am not feeling the whole, "let's trash the bridesmaid" card Lori is playing.  It's funny...she never mentioned it before.  What she did write is:

2011

Quote

 Neither Ken nor I were madly in love or had sparks flying on our wedding day.  In fact, Ken says, "We got engaged.  It went downhill from there, but we got married anyway." 

Quote

Is being crazy in love with sparks flying a prerequisite for getting married?  No...I have proven that

Quote

 I kept asking Ken if he was sure we should get married and he would reassure me, "Yes, we were molded for each other." 

Quote

My marrying him was pretty much a mental decision

2014

Quote

It still was not the tingly, seeing stars type of love...never felt that with anyone. 

2015

Quote

For many years after I married Ken, I was VERY unhappy 

2015

Quote

Almost 35 years ago, I remember being at my bridal shower and having feelings of sadness because I wasn't all excited and emotional about marrying Ken. I didn't have butterflies; I wasn't giddy; I didn't "feel" madly in love with him like I knew I was supposed to. I was even considering whether or not I should marry him based upon these feelings. Why, you may ask, did I marry him? I was marrying him because I decided he was what I was looking for in a husband. 

2011

Quote

 I wasn't attracted to Ken when I first met him.  

2015

Quote

I never said I wasn't attracted to Ken, Anna

(except, oh yes she did...in 2011 she wrote a post about it.  See above quote.)

Nothing at all about the bridesmaid, but it seems Lori definitely had her doubts about marrying Ken.

[Frog99]

@Koala when I read the little bit about the bridesmaid I wondered (assuming it is true) if the bridesmaid saw the lack of love between them and realized he misery in store for them. Marriage takes work- I can’t imagine what it’s like if you don’t love the other person. 

[squiddysquid]

7 minutes ago, Koala said:

It still was not the tingly, seeing stars type of love...never felt that with anyone. 

So she never felt the butterflies in your stomach, sparks flying with anyone in her whole life?

Can't stand Lori, but this is really sad.

 

[louisa05]

Just now, squiddysquid said:

So she never felt the butterflies in your stomach, sparks flying with anyone in her whole life?

Can't stand Lori, but this is really sad.

 

I assume she is a sociopath or has a serious personality disorder. 

And that also explains her projecting, constant lying, and insistence that emotions are evil.

[legalbeagle]

I married my first husband under what sounds like similar circumstances to Lori marrying Ken. He and I were both born-again Christians, we wanted the same things out of a family, we had similar values, and I sincerely believed he was the person that God had brought into my life. I ignored all the red flags (like the fact that we had no sexual chemistry and that we had many different interests, just to name a few) and we got married. When I was about to walk down the aisle, arm-in-arm with my dad, I almost turned to him and asked, "Should I really be doing this???"

But you know, getting divorced was the best thing we could have done for each other. I know that it allowed me the opportunity to become a much better version of myself. And I also know that the person I am now could NEVER be compatible with him -- he would think I'm a hippie liberal heathen, and he'd be right.  But I am at peace with who I am, and that was not true of the person I was when I married him.

It's truly a shame that Lori and Ken never gave each other the opportunity to split up and find out who they are as individuals.

I fully believe marriage is HARD WORK. (Just as my current husband!) But Mr. Beagle and I have a firm foundation of love and commitment to stand on. Marriage is no walk in the park, but we do the hard work because we truly make each other better people and because we're better off with each other than apart. I do not think Lori and Ken can say the same thing about one another, unfortunately. I'll try to remember that Lori has had a mostly sad life the next time she posts some hateful drivel on Facebook.

Unrelated -- Lori is so pretty in her wedding pics and I think her dress is beautiful. (And sure, some of you may scorn me for that; I know that many of you love to make fun of her appearance. But she was awfully lovely in her youth, I think!)

[jerkit]

I don’t care how sad and unfortunate Lori’s marriage is, she is evil incarnate 

[EowynW]

While I fully believe Lori didn't love Ken, I also don't think everyone feels butterflies the same way before getting married so I hate to scoff at someone who says they didn't have them. I always thought butterflies came from Hollywood or something. But I'm also super logical, down to earth and literal so maybe I'm a weirdo.  

I cant imagine not being excited at getting married though. 

[SilverBeach]

I don't scoff at not feeling butterflies during the ceremony. I do scoff at having never felt them in your life. 

I am so glad I never picked a man as a business decision, love optional. I wouldn't want Lori's life for anything. It's not really a life to me. 

[EowynW]

18 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

I don't scoff at not feeling butterflies during the ceremony. I do scoff at having never felt them in your life. 

I am so glad I never picked a man as a business decision, love optional. I wouldn't want Lori's life for anything. It's not really a life to me. 

I really cannot imagine a life like that either. It's so sad to me. 

[Imrlgoddess]

I wonder if Lori would have been on board with a totally arranged marriage?  Father walks up says, "I found you a husband, you can meet him today, the wedding is in 2 weeks."  That's essentially how it was for my grandmother back in the 20's.  They were married for over 50 years, she never really loved him and isn't buried anywhere near him now.  

I think Lori would appreciate that kind of arrangement.  It fits all her parameters:  good match based on status, similar belief system, good genes for children....love need not apply.  

 

BEC pet peeve moment:  Ken remarked in the comments in an earlier post the reasons he married her and added "plus she's cute."  I have issues with anyone being referred to as "cute" after the age of.....I don't know....16?  19?  Puppies are cute.  Pygmy goats are cute.  Grown women are beautiful, attractive, handsome, lovely, bright eyed, etc etc etc.    (It's an IMRLGoddess-ism, I've got a Napolean complex)

[December]

56 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

I don't scoff at not feeling butterflies during the ceremony. I do scoff at having never felt them in your life. 

Same. There are many types of love, and how someone experiences love can change over time (for good, bad and neutral reasons). Even if someone doesn't feel the butterflies kind of love, I'd hope they would feel some other type of love for the person they're marrying and not just that it's a good business decision. 

2 hours ago, legalbeagle said:

But you know, getting divorced was the best thing we could have done for each other. I know that it allowed me the opportunity to become a much better version of myself.

What a positive outcome to something that I'm guessing wasn't a cakewalk at the time. Everyone deserves the opportunity to grow as a person and live their best life. 

[usmcmom]

3 hours ago, legalbeagle said:

Unrelated -- Lori is so pretty in her wedding pics and I think her dress is beautiful. (And sure, some of you may scorn me for that; I know that many of you love to make fun of her appearance. But she was awfully lovely in her youth, I think!)

I agree with you that she looked very pretty on her wedding day. I have said before that, from a purely physical standpoint, I think Lori is quite attractive even in current photos. 

I don't think I will ever grasp why she and Ken got married, though. Even her post today doesn't give a very glowing review of their marriage. It is all about what she got out of the marriage - kids and grandkids - and nothing about actually enjoying the journey with Ken by her side. I think Ken must know she never loved him and he consoles himself with the fact that she is submissive and gives him anything he wants. Maybe that is all he really wanted too. Theirs is surely the saddest marriage to be featured on a marriage blog, in my opinion. 

[jerkit]

1 minute ago, usmcmom said:

I agree with you that she looked very pretty on her wedding day. I have said before that, from a purely physical standpoint, I think Lori is quite attractive even in current photos. 

I don't think I will ever grasp why she and Ken got married, though. Even her post today doesn't give a very glowing review of their marriage. It is all about what she got out of the marriage - kids and grandkids - and nothing about actually enjoying the journey with Ken by her side. I think Ken must know she never loved him and he consoles himself with the fact that she is submissive and gives him anything he wants. Maybe that is all he really wanted too. Theirs is surely the saddest marriage to be featured on a marriage blog, in my opinion. 

Exactly. When I talk about my marriage, I don’t talk about our house or our dog or any other “blessings.” I talk about living with my best friend, our wine and cheese stay at home dates, laughing until we cry about how weird we both are, etc etc

Lori’s marriage is a fucking sham.

[crawfishgirl]

Quote

Two poor struggling kids get married and stumble along clinging to God’s promises and look what His grace has done for us in so many thousands of blessings.

That is from Ken's post on facebook.

At some point, didn't she say that her parents gave them a mobile home to live in when they got married?  It may not have been expensive, but it's really not poor and struggling either.  

 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Mr. Dress is the king of dry humor, the witty pun, and the astute observation.  He cracks me up. Prince of the unexpected little romantic gesture -- like picking me wildflowers/ pretty weeds while walking the dog, or texting me a pic of a rose bush in full bloom ("sending flowers") .  He warms up my side of the bed before I get in. Always kisses me before he leaves in the morning and when he comes home.  Fluffs sofa pillows and declutters without being asked before people come over.  Best. Vacuumer. Ever.   I still get that fluttery feeling when I hear his step on the front porch at the end of the day or catch sight of him in a crowd.

He is the epitome of what I told a guy friend many years ago.  Friend was moaning about what do women want in a man -- is it just a fancy car and big bucks.  I told him well maybe, some do , but you don't want a woman like that.  What most women want -- What it really want boils down to is 2 simple things -- 1) Treat us nice, 2) Make us laugh.

Treat us nice can cover a lot of territory = don't be an asshat, don't be violent or always angry, be faithful, be responsible, try really really hard not to be a jerk or say/do dickhead things, apologize and mean it when necessary.  Notice none of that means money, big house. fancy car.  Make us laugh, even if you tell silly jokes. Because life can be pretty crazy weird absurd sometimes and you just have to laugh it off to get through it.

Mr. Dress is my best friend ... my lover... my confidante  ... my cheerleader.... my protector.   And I am all of that right back at him. I cannot imagine my life without him. I was beyond thrilled and excited before our wedding (we both were).

How sad Lori never felt that.  How sad she still doesn't feel that.  But....... she willingly chose a business arrangement marriage -- sex for money -- and I cannot feel sad for her personally.  She's gotten exactly what she bargained for.

I think Lori is seethingly jealous beyond belief of all the women who are happy in their marriages. All the women who married for love (sinful emotion). Women like her oldest daughter.  I think Lori hates those women and their happiness (another sinful emotion).  Her blog is her weapon dedicated to tearing those women down, to making them see their happy marriages as wrong, sinful and ungodly.

Lori is the embodiment of "if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody gonna be happy."

 

[delphinium65]

29 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

1) Treat us nice, 2) Make us laugh.

1

That's about it.  There's nothing wrong with not having that butterfly thing going, some people simply have a more calm, even emotional level, and that's fine, love is many different things to many different people.  But if you don't like the person you're with, if you can't make a life and be at least content together, and find yourself unable to treat each other with respect-not Lori's one way respect street!-then you should probably consider getting out.  

[Koala]

Honestly, I don't think she's submissive either.  If you go back and read what he wrote when he was here, it's pretty clear that she tells him to shove it when she disagrees with him.

I think the only real difference (based on their own accounts) is that she isn't as quick to nag him about food and whatever else she was always nagging him about.  

When she talks about meals, she talks about what she eats.  SHE makes a pot of soup to last for the week, and SHE eats it every night for dinner.  SHE makes a salad to last 4-5 days, and SHE has it for lunch each day.  Even in one of her videos, Ken was in the background making his own breakfast.  

My guess is that he still fends for himself, and she agrees not to bitch about whatever he's eating as long as they can "hold each other accountable" (in other words, he promises not to get fat).

When you think about it, food and weight are two of Lori's biggest fixations.  I think her issues ruled a large part of their marriage.  When Ken talks about his problems with her, he frequently mentions that she nagged him about eating.  

Now, she's transferred her nagging to her readers, even going as far as to quiz her chat room members about whether or not the "disciplined their flesh" over the holidays by not eating too much.  Super weird, but it gives her somebody to nag, and keeps her paycheck husband right where she wants it him.

[Sarah92]

1 hour ago, Koala said:

Honestly, I don't think she's submissive either.  If you go back and read what he wrote when he was here, it's pretty clear that she tells him to shove it when she disagrees with him.

I think the only real difference (based on their own accounts) is that she isn't as quick to nag him about food and whatever else she was always nagging him about.  

When she talks about meals, she talks about what she eats.  SHE makes a pot of soup to last for the week, and SHE eats it every night for dinner.  SHE makes a salad to last 4-5 days, and SHE has it for lunch each day.  Even in one of her videos, Ken was in the background making his own breakfast.  

My guess is that he still fends for himself, and she agrees not to bitch about whatever he's eating as long as they can "hold each other accountable" (in other words, he promises not to get fat).

When you think about it, food and weight are two of Lori's biggest fixations.  I think her issues ruled a large part of their marriage.  When Ken talks about his problems with her, he frequently mentions that she nagged him about eating.  

Now, she's transferred her nagging to her readers, even going as far as to quiz her chat room members about whether or not the "disciplined their flesh" over the holidays by not eating too much.  Super weird, but it gives her somebody to nag, and keeps her paycheck husband right where she wants it him.

So I wasn't around when he was here but it kinda sounds like he used this place as some therapy to talk about all the times she's not submissive or was a nag. Of course I could be totally wrong like I said I wasn't here. 

[Carol]

I think it was more of him mansplaining that we weren't submissive and were nags who didn't understand the KA version of the Bible.  He also took every opportunity to passively aggressively nail Lori under the guise of teaching her as a loving husband should.  Blech.  He gives me the creeps.

[fundamentallyfearless]

I wasn’t here when Ken stepped onto FJ grounds either but I went back and looked and HOLY HELL is it an entertaining read

[ViolaSebastian]

30 minutes ago, fundamentallyfearless said:

I wasn’t here when Ken stepped onto FJ grounds either but I went back and looked and HOLY HELL is it an entertaining read

The Ken visit/Rodrigues introduction was my kryptonite. I couldn't not join FJ after that.